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Daisy Duke Daisy Dukes Jessica Simpson.jpgJudges who hold people in contempt, or even jail them, for letting their cellphones go off in court — e.g., Robert Restaino, Diane Boswell — may be overreacting.
The same can’t be said for Judge Janet Booth, of Garrard County, Kentucky. Judge Booth just sent a woman to jail, for three days, for wearing short shorts to court.
This was completely justified. Short shorts do not belong in court. Nor do they belong in the office.
Fashion lesson over. Class dismissed.
P.S. And if you’re a guy, don’t forget to wear a tie to court — especially if you’re arguing before the Federal Circuit.
Judge jails woman for wearing short shorts [On the beat in the Bluegrass]
Note to West Coast Lawyers: The Federal Circuit Requires a Tie [WSJ Law Blog]
Earlier: Shorts Crack the Code [Dealbreaker]

no offer law firm.jpgThis has probably already been done at some law school parody show or “law revue.” If so, feel free to point that out, in the comments.
But if not — of even if it has, but someone wants to revisit it, in light of the current (dismal) state of the legal job market — here are suggested lyrics for No Offer, No Cry (to the tune of Bob Marley’s No Woman, No Cry):

No offer, no cry
No offer, no cry

Said – said – said: I remember when we used to sit
In the career services office in law school,
Observing the Biglaw hypocrites
As they would mingle with the good people we meet.

Classmates we have, oh, classmates we’ve lost
Along the way.
In 3L interviewing, you can’t forget your past;

So dry your tears, I say.

Earlier this month, we raised the subject of cold offers. Now it’s time to talk about a topic we raised last year, but have not yet raised this year: the cold offer’s crueler cousin, the NO OFFER.
We hear that no-offering is on the rise — which is not surprising, given the tanking economy and Biglaw layoffs. Which law firms are doling out no-offers to their summer associates this year? Feel free to discuss, in the comments.
As always, caveat lector. Information in the comments has not been verified, and we make no representations or warranties as to its accuracy. Read at your own risk.
If you’d like to send us a tip that you are capable of vouching for — e.g., you were a summer at the firm in question — please email us (subject line: “No Offer – [Firm Name]“). For tips submitted via email, we will try to verify them if we can, and possibly revert to you with a list of no-offer factories (to use last year’s coinage). Thanks.
Earlier: Fall Recruiting Open Thread: Cold Offers
Fall Recruiting Open Thread: No-Offer Factories

champagne glasses small.jpgThe theme of yesterday’s LEWW was the hotness disparity between three glowing brides and their very lucky grooms. Today we’re delighted to report that the wedding gods stepped it up with our most recent batch of newlyweds. They’ve brought us four grooms who are at least as attractive as their brides or co-grooms. (And needless to say, all six of our newlyweds have the shiny credentials that you’ve come to expect from the Legal Eagle Wedding Watch.)
On to the finalists! Here they are:

1. Joanna Schwab and Nathan Pusey

2. Joseph Loy and Michael Kavey

3. Zoe Palitz and Brian Goldman

Click on the link below to find out more about these couples.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 8.17: Gynomite!”


Mayra Lizbeth Rosales Mayra Rosales.jpgFrom a tipster: “Wow. Losing her seat really made Judge Halverson go over the edge… Oh, wait, it’s not her. Sorry, honest mistake.”
At almost 1,000 pounds, Mayra Lizbeth Rosales, 27, weighs about twice as much as Judge Halverson.
Half-ton woman indicted in slaying of nephew [CNN]

Job of the Week Lateral Link ATL logo.gifAre you tired of big firm life — doc review, due diligence, 9 p.m. dinners at your desk? Do you still hope that you can enjoy practicing law in a law firm setting? This week’s Job of the Week may be the answer for you.
As always, the Job of the Week is brought to you by Lateral Link. As we’ve mentioned before, Lateral Link is still growing, having just added a Columbia Law School alum to its Philadelphia team and an NYU Law School alum to its New York team. For more information about Lateral Link’s team of personal search consultants, or to learn about joining the team, click here.
Position: Corporate Associate
Location: New York
Description: This firm is one of the more selective New York boutiques, with approximately 50 attorneys, most of whom have lateraled in from top-20 law firms. The attorneys focus on sophisticated litigation, corporate, and bankruptcy work, and their major clients include Clear Channel, Amazon.com, Columbia University, and Lazard Freres. The firm pays New York market salary and offers its associates immediate, hands-on responsibility, as well as a reputation for very reasonable hours and a truly collegial working environment. The quality and depth of their legal team distinguishes them from other firms of their size and allows them to compete effectively against the larger top-tier firms. This position qualifies for the Lateral Link $10,000 guaranteed signing bonus.
For more information about this position or to apply, please see Position 9673 on Lateral Link. Current members can also contact their personal search consultant directly to discuss this position. Membership in Lateral Link is free and you can apply at www.laterallink.com.

tiny penis small penis.jpgA growing trend in criminal defense: invoking your modest endowment as exculpatory evidence.
Back in March, we wrote about this case, in which a Florida defendant argued that his penis was too small to inflict the injuries sustained by a rape victim. Now we hear about a more extreme version of the “size matters” defense, from the Houston Chronicle:

Houston’s 14th Court of Appeals on Tuesday upheld the conviction of a local doctor for indecent exposure.

The court rejected the argument by high-profile attorney Dick DeGuerin and his associate Neal Davis that the doctor could not have exposed himself to an undercover cop because that which is alleged to have been exposed is too small to have been seen.

Too small to be seen? Some defendants would rather serve time than rely upon this defense.
Alas, the defendant doctor got the worst of both worlds: the world now knows about his wee wee-wee, and he was convicted (with the conviction affirmed on appeal). Columnist Rick Casey sums it up:

The bottom line: This is a case that could be described as de minimis, a legal term defined by Black’s Law Dictionary as “1. Trifling, minimal. 2. (Of a fact or thing) so insignificant that a court may overlook it in deciding an issue or case.”

Quips our tipster: “So much for the myth that everything is bigger in Texas.”
Accused flasher loses ‘to small to see’ defense [Houston Chronicle via Legal Blog Watch]
Earlier: From the Department of Dubious Defenses: If the Trojan Mangum Don’t Fit, You Must Acquit

If you were skeptical of the notion that Barack Obama never published anything as a member of the Harvard Law Review, your skepticism was justified. From Ben Smith and Jeffrey Ressner, over at Politico:

Gannett House mushroom cloud.jpg[A]n unsigned — and previously unattributed — 1990 article unearthed by Politico offers a glimpse at Obama’s views on abortion policy and the law during his student days, and provides a rare addition to his body of work.

The six-page summary, tucked into the third volume of the year’s Harvard Law Review, considers the charged, if peripheral, question of whether fetuses should be able to file lawsuits against their mothers. Obama’s answer, like most courts': No.

As ATL readers know — see the posts collected under the Harvard Law Review category — ascertaining authorship of HLR student-written work can be controversial. How do we know Obama wrote this case comment?

The Obama campaign swiftly confirmed Obama’s authorship of the fetal rights article Thursday after a source told Politico he’d written it. The campaign also provided a statement on Harvard Law Review letterhead confirming that the unsigned piece was Obama’s – the only record of the anonymous authors is kept in the office of the Review president – and that records showed it was the only piece he’d written for the Review.

It’s pretty cool that “the only record of the anonymous authors is kept in the office of the Review president.” Like a Masonic temple, Gannett House is the repository of many secrets.
Having a hitherto unacknowledged case comment is better than having a hitherto unacknowledged baby girl.
Update: You can access a PDF of the Obama case comment over at TaxProf Blog.
Exclusive: Obama’s lost law review article [Politico]
Earlier: Barack Obama and the Harvard Law Review

comparing.jpgWelcome to another post in the 2009 Vault 100 open thread series. You all seem to like having the law firms listed in groups of ten, so we’ll keep it up. Here are the thirty-something firms from the Vault 100, with prestige scores in parentheses:

31. Fried, Frank, Harris, Shriver & Jacobson LLP (6.461)
32. Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer LLP (6.327)
33. Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld LLP (6.313)
34. Winston & Strawn LLP (6.275)
35. Quinn Emanuel Urquhart Oliver & Hedges LLP (6.235)
36. Willkie Farr & Gallagher LLP (6.174)
37. Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe (6.173)
38. Allen & Overy LLP (6.147)
39. Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft (6.131)
40. Proskauer Rose LLP (6.102)

Fried Frank and Cadwalader have been on the ATL radar of late. We broke news of staff layoffs at Fried Frank earlier this week, and news of the attorney bloodletting at Cadwalader last month. As noted in Cadwalader’s notable perks: “ouch, layoffs.” (Speaking of, in going through the Vault 100 list, we’ve discovered that Vault’s definition of “perk” is very different from ours.)
In the comments, the curious can pose questions, and the insiders can share insights. More threads to come.
Earlier: Vault 100 Open Threads – 2009

pregancy.jpg* Federal judge grants stay of execution in Texas because the condemned man may be insane. Judge Orlando Luis Garcia chastised the state courts for refusing to hire mental health experts to assess the man’s sanity. [New York Times]
* Bush administration will implement a regulation to protect anti-abortion health workers. [Washington Post]
* Three members of the Warren Jeffs-led Texas polygamist sect are indicted. [CNN]
* Alan Dershowitz wants to depose recently captured Bosnian Serb war crimes suspect Radovan Karadzic. [Associated Press]
* Woman tries to free her convicted-murderer husband from jail by forging two judges’ signatures, feds claim. [San Jose Mercury News]
* Former paralegal makes out in the pregnancy discrimination lawsuit against Siegel, Fenchel & Peddy. The co-plaintiff associate didn’t do so well. [New York Law Journal]

jury trial John Morgan.jpg* More advice for young lawyers from the good professor. [Punditry - Stephen Bainbridge]
* Consistent with that advice, when it comes to email, “think before you write” — or risk losing the protection of attorney-client privilege. [Business West]
* Think juries suck? You’re right. [Swordplay]
* A shout-out to ATL Idol, from the ABA Journal. [ABA Journal]
* Seven notable New Yorkers — including our colleague, Dealbreaker EIC John Carney — opine on presidential politics. [Time Out New York]
* Professor Jonathan Adler, on the AALS boycott. [Volokh Conspiracy via TaxProf Blog]
* If our length limit for this piece hadn’t been so short, we probably would have written something more like this (since we had a lot of the reporting). [New York Times]

We recently heard the following about Heller Ehrman:

Heller Ehrman LLP Above the Law blog.JPG1. Start dates for incoming associates have been pushed back to January 19, 2009. Associates are being offered a $10,000 stipend.

2. The firm has pulled out of on-campus interviewing (OCI) at several law schools, including UVA and UC-Davis.

We contacted the firm for comment. Spokesman Patrick Bustamante informed us that Heller has delayed the start date for fall associates to Tuesday, January 20, 2009 (because Monday the 19th is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day). These associates will receive a monthly stipend between November and January.
He also confirmed that the firm has withdrawn from OCI at some schools:

It’s not unusual for firms to change or cancel their on-campus interview plans as they refine their hiring goals in late summer. [Ed. note: "Guys in my high school..."]

Because we plan to hire fewer summer associates next summer, we did cancel our plans to interview at some schools and to focus on schools where we have been the most successful in the past.

A little bit more, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Nationwide Start Date Watch: Heller Ehrman
(And OCI withdrawals, too.)”

Morgan Finnegan intellectual property IP law.jpgA recent article in IP Law & Business suggested that rumors of the demise of IP specialty law firms have been greatly exaggerated. According to the piece, intellectual property boutiques continue to survive, despite encroachment on their turf by general-practice firms.
This is not to say, however, that everything is peachy in IP land. The article notes that Morgan & Finnegan, one prominent IP shop, “has lost 10 partners in the past year, and its overall head count is down considerably.” (We wonder if they included Jeremy Pitcock in the partner losses.)
The firm has been shedding associates and staff, too. Earlier this week, we heard from several tipsters that Morgan & Finnegan was laying off lawyers, technical and scientific advisors, and staff.
We confirmed the news with Pat Bowers, director of administration for Morgan & Finnegan. She acknowledged the layoffs (and even had the courage to use the “L” word, which many other firms shun).
The firm believes in “the importance of communication,” explained Bowers. “It’s not like we were doing it behind closed doors.” Prior to informing the affected employees, administration sent out a firm-wide email explaining that the firm was “scrutinizing our direct and indirect expenses, and looking at our staffing needs in New York and D.C.”
The affected employees were notified of the layoffs starting on Friday of last week and ending yesterday by close of business (so if you’re at the firm and haven’t heard anything, you’re in the clear). Bowers declined to provide exact numbers, citing confidentiality concerns, but said that (1) the firm “laid off less than 7 percent of attorneys and staff,” and (2) the cuts were centered on staff, not lawyers.
More details, below the fold.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Nationwide Layoff Watch: Morgan & Finnegan”

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