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Morning Docket: 01.18.18
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 01.18.18

* When USA Gymnastics agreed not to go after McKayla Maroney for violating an NDA to report a serial sex abuser it sounded like a dog-bites-man tale of an entity fully aware that sticking to the letter of its NDA would be irresponsible and immoral. But, according to Maroney's attorney, Gymnastics fully intended to pursue damages against Maroney until others came forward and volunteered to help cover her fine. Um... everyone over there needs to be fired. [USA Today]

* Ninth Circuit pumps the brakes on legalized prostitution. Seems like they had a judge out there pretty recently who might have dissented. [The Recorder]

* Speaking of former judges on the Ninth Circuit, Wilson Sonsini's Katherine Ku discusses her decision to come forward as a former Kozinski clerk. [Litigation Daily]

* Rod Blagojevich always seemed, from afar, to be railroaded. Nominating someone to fill a Senate seat actually is a "f**king valuable thing" and it's not like he was seeking a bribe for it, he was trying to make political deals. Now someone has leaked more tapes that the prosecutors kept out of the trial that further confirm Blagojevich's defense that he was mostly trying to use the seat to get infrastructure and health care deals passed. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* The Supreme Court's only put out one opinion so far, and some are wondering why they're asleep at the switch. [National Law Journal]

* DOJ looking to undermine Escobar and go after companies for violations that the government still finds worthy of reimbursement. [Law360] LGBTQ, Religion,

* Gay couple says they received religious damnation flyers from Vistaprint instead of photos. This message brought to you by HP, reminding you that it's not expensive to just buy your own photo printer. [Boston Globe]

It’s All Already Been Priced In — See Also
See Also

It's All Already Been Priced In -- See Also

I was reading Ben Shapiro equate Trump's alleged affair with a porn star to the strong efficient market hypothesis -- essentially everything, known and unknown, about Trump has already been taken into account by Trump's supporters and opponents and therefore no "new" information can move the numbers -- and it occurred to me that everything is essentially meaningless and life itself is a futile struggle against entropy. The universe has already "priced in" your existence, everything you have done or ever will do has already been cosmically accounted for and no amount of effort or struggle will change the numbers in the least way. The question then becomes simply how much pain are we willing to endure before succumbing to the inevitable.

In related news, I'm also trying to quit smoking (again) this week, and I don't give a flying rat's ass about the agreed upon "format" of this link wrap. Here are some stories we wrote today:

FANTASTIC ANONYMOUS TROLL OUTED AS A LAWYER, CONTINUES TROLLING: A University of Kentucky basketball fan with a large Twitter following turns out to be a local attorney. He was outed by a physician. Their parents must be so proud.

FIRMS THAT CAN'T PAY TOP DOLLAR WORRY ABOUT RECRUITING TOP TALENT: Like them, I also wonder how to get people to listen to me without giving them a compelling reason to do so. Life is hard.

JOE MAKES A SOLID POINT HERE: If Steve Bannon has to testify in front of Bob Mueller's grand jury (which he does), it makes no sense for him to testify in front of Congress (which he didn't). That's just basic perjury-trap avoidance.

THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT IS PRODUCING FAKE NEWS: One of the things I hate most about the Trump administration is that he makes me repeat his lies just as part of the effort of exposing them. Like, I've literally now memorized a FAKE STATISTIC because I had to spend a lot of time explaining why its fake.

PEOPLE WITH BAD LSAT SCORES WHO GO TO BAD LAW SCHOOLS DROPOUT AT HIGH RATES: As I said, the universe has already priced in all information, including unknown information, in its equations.