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Supreme Court 6 Above the Law blog.jpgWe recently posted about an amusing Craigslist “Missed Connections” ad (text here; no longer available on CL itself). It was posted by a lovelorn, 30-year-old male, with a crush on a female Supreme Court employee who shows up to oral argument in tails.
We wondered whether our poster might have a crush on Pamela Talkin, the Marshal of the Court. Although she may be a little old for the typical thirty-year-old, Talkin does wear tails to oral argument. And some guys have a real thing for older women.
In the comments to our post, however, several of you helpfully suggested that the woman in question might be Denise McNerney, the Merits Clerk, who “is often in the courtroom in tails.” Ms. McNerney was described as “very attractive,” “stunning,” “in her early 30s, nice, and drop-dead gorgeous.”
So what did we do? We contacted the original Craigslist poster, by email, and asked him for more details about his crush.
Our correspondence with him appears after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “‘The Supreme Court Clerk of My Heart’: Not Talkin’ About Pam Talkin”

Monica Goodling 5 Monica M Goodling Monica Gooding Alberto Gonzales Above the Law blog.jpgOur bestest gal pal, Monica M. Goodling, is in the news once again. From the AP (via the Volokh Conspiracy):

The Justice Department is investigating whether its former White House liaison used political affiliation in deciding who to hire as entry-level prosecutors in U.S. attorneys’ offices around the country, The Associated Press has learned.

Doing so is a violation of federal law.

The inquiry involving Monica Goodling, the former counsel and White House liaison for Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, raises new concerns that politics might have cast a shadow over the independence of trial prosecutors who enforce U.S. laws.

Justice spokesman Dean Boyd confirmed Wednesday that the department’s inspector general and Office of Professional Responsibility were investigating Goodling’s role in hiring career attorneys — an unusual responsibility for her to take.

Goodling “may have taken prohibited considerations into account during such review,” Boyd told the AP. “Whether or not the allegation is true is currently the subject of the OIG/OPR investigation.”

Back when Monica Goodling first invoked the Fifth Amendment privilege, a wide range of commentators, from Joshua Micah Marshall to Orin Kerr, expressed skepticism towards her claim. Questions were raised as to whether Goodling had a valid basis for declining to testify.
Gentlemen, in light of the latest news, you should be ashamed of yourselves. We think you owe Ms. Goodling an apology.
Moral of the story: Never doubt the Magnificent Monica Goodling!!!
P.S. Our favorite comment over at the VC: “God told her to.”
DOJ probes politics’ role in hiring U.S. attorneys [Associated Press]
Ex-Aide to Gonzales Accused Of Bias [Washington Post]
Monica Goodling and AUSA Hiring [Volokh Conspiracy]

suit pants Judge Roy L Pearson Roy Pearson Above the Law blog.jpgJEEZ. What a tool.
An administrative law judge, Roy L. Pearson, is suing his dry cleaners. Over a missing pair of pants (subsequently found). For the insane sum of $65 million.
We kid you not. More details here.
Okay, we’re not completely shocked. Clownish antics from an ALJ? Heaven forfend.
No, we don’t have the highest opinion of administrative law “judges.” Roy Pearson should be flattered that news stories about his idiocy identify him as a “judge,” instead of a “petty and lame-ass federal bureaucrat.”
The defendant dry cleaners are represented by one Chris Manning. Is he Christopher C.S. Manning, of Manning & Sossamon, or Christopher N. Manning, the newly-minted Williams & Connolly partner? We’re guessing the former; but we’re hoping for the latter. We like the idea of the mighty Williams & Connolly steamrolling this prick pseudo-judicial moron.
More commentary from Overlawyered, here and here, and the WSJ Law Blog, here and here.
The second Overlawyered post provides a link to a reported opinion arising out of Roy Pearson’s divorce. The opinion reveals that Pearson and his ex-wife were having sexual relations very infrequently. Guess Pearson decided to go screw his dry cleaners instead.
And screw them he has. The Chungs have been so traumatized by the ordeal that they are thinking of closing their dry cleaning shop and moving back to Korea. Happy now, Your Honor?
Judge Sues Cleaner for $65M Over Pants [Associated Press]
Roy L. Pearson, Jr. [Office of Administrative Hearings]
The $65 million pants: Judge Roy Pearson [Overlawyered]
Judge Sues Dry Cleaners for $65 Million [WSJ Law Blog]

* Divided Nebraska Supreme Court stays execution of one inmate pending the constitutional challenge to the electric chair of another. [Lincoln Journal-Star via How Appealing]
* Georgia mulls brain wave evidence. [Morris New Service via Online Athens]
* “Um, I don’t remember ever receiving any emails from Karl Rove.” [Jurist]
* Georgia baby-starving vegans convicted of murder. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
* What do Ken Lay, Lenny Bruce, and Jim Morrison have in common?. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Populist department stores: so little security, so many male sales assistants in the shoe department. [New York Post]
* No longer lost in Yonkers. [1010 WINS]
* The sure-fire way to make sure you’re getting the lowest possible price. [Palm Beach Post]
* We’d all breathe a little easier–figuratively and literally, since all those pedophiles opting out of car travel would probably drive those CO2 emissions way down. [Sentencing Law and Policy]

100 dollar bill Above the Law Above the Law law firm salary legal blog legal tabloid Above the Law.JPGEarlier today, a source advised us as follows, by email:

“Skadden has raised its clerkship bonuses: $50,000 for one clerkship, $70,000 for two years. Applicable to all offices”

Excluding anonymous commenters, we’ve heard this news from just this one source (although a source who claims to have heard the news from multiple offerees). We don’t like to treat such rumors as confirmed until we have direct confirmation, by email, from multiple sources.
(Of course, a single source will suffice if that source is a firm website or a firm spokesperson.)
We’ve emailed Skadden for comment, but we haven’t heard back from them yet. We also don’t see clerkship bonus info on their homepage.
If you can confirm this news, please email us (subject line: “Clerkship Bonus”). As always, we will keep you anonymous, unless you request otherwise. Thanks.

Don Imus Donald Imus nappy headed ho Above the Law blog.jpgThis appears to be the legal theory to be advanced by controversial former radio host Don Imus, through his “ferocious” litigator, the renowned Martin Garbus. Reports Fortune:

Imus has hired one of the nation’s premiere First Amendment attorneys, and the two sides are gearing up for a legal showdown that could turn on how language in his contract that encouraged the radio host to be irreverent and engage in character attacks is interpreted….

The language, according to this source, was part of a five-year contract that went into effect in 2006 and that paid Imus close to $10 million a year. It stipulates that Imus be given a warning before being fired for doing what he made a career out of – making off-color jokes. The source described it as a “dog-has-one-bite clause.” A lawsuit could be filed within a month, this person predicted.

We’re curious: What do ATL readers think about the Imus firing?


(The Pew Research Center also conducted a poll to gauge public attitudes towards Don Imus’s firing. It will be interesting to see how their poll results compare to the ATL poll results.)
Hoho Hostess Hohos Chocolate Cake Above the Law Blog.gifP.S. We love Wikipedia. Check out their entry for HoHos:

HoHos are cylindrical, frosted, cream-filled cakes that are made by the Hostess company and are distributed in the United States and Egypt. The Interstate Bakeries Corporation owns the Hostess company. HoHos are similar to Yodels, which are made by Drake’s (also a brand of Interstate Bakeries Corporation), and Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls.

Imus won’t go quietly [Fortune]
Poll: Most Americans say Imus’ punishment appropriate [Associated Press]
Earlier: Don Imus Hires “Ferocious” Litigator

Legal Eagle Wedding Watch NYT wedding announcements Above the Law.jpgLast week, we exhorted candidates to step it up for the high wedding season, and this week’s couples really responded. In fact, they brought the fabulosity in such a big way that LEWW has spent some anguished nights picking the three most deserving entries for this column.
Consider this: Our three featured couples are all lawyer-lawyer matings in which the least prestigious JDs are the two from Harvard! In order to narrow our list, we had to eliminate a gorgeous Harvard-Columbia offering with Skadden overtones and a robust NYU-Stanford entry with a wonderful floral bouquet.
LEWW is just sick about passing over all these shiny credentials. Now we know what a dean of admissions at a top-10 law school feels like!
Here are the amazing couples who made the initial cut:

1. Sara Galvan and Luke Bronin

2. Emily Thacher-Renshaw and Christian Pistilli

3. Rebecca Charnas and Scott Grant

Also, back by popular demand: registry links!
More on this week’s couples, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 4.29: One Hand, One Hartford”

100 dollar bill Above the Law Above the Law law firm salary legal blog legal tabloid Above the Law.JPGThe sticklers among you object to our using the cute pun “Skaddenfreude” to refer to our compensation coverage. After all, there’s really no “taking malicious satisfaction in another person’s troubles” when reading this column (unless you take perverse pleasure in thinking about how hard Biglaw attorneys must work for their six-figure salaries).
If you’re one of these sticklers, then you may be gratified by this Miami Herald article on lawyer salaries, which truly DOES capture schadenfreude. Its full title: “In debt, young lawyers struggle to make it: Young prosecutors and assistant public defenders are struggling to pay for even the bare necessities.”
If you’re an associate at a large law firm, bitter because your firm pays a below-market bonus, stop whining. Things could be much worse. Consider these stories:

For Allison Haney, it’s a good thing Publix takes credit cards. By the end of the month, she often doesn’t have enough money left from her salary as a prosecutor to buy food.

Ayana Harris turns to Mom and Dad for help with the basics every month, and knows her parents will have to chip in even more when the brakes in her car go, or the dog needs to go to the vet. As an assistant public defender, she’s also strapped for cash each month.

Jeez, this is depressing. Skaddenfreude, indeed.
In debt, young lawyers struggle to make it [Miami Herald]

Whole Lesbian Sex Book Felice Newman Above the Law blog.jpgWe realize this news broke last week. But we were on vacation — and it’s just too good to omit from these pages. From Metro.co.uk:

A father in Arkansas is looking for $20,000 in compensation for his teenage sons, after they found a book in a public library called The Whole Lesbian Sex Book.

According to Earl Adams, his sons – aged 14 and 16 – were ‘greatly disturbed’ by Felice Newman’s classic lesbian sex manual, described by its publishers as ‘the most comprehensive sex guide available for lesbians.’

And now he is demanding $10,000 from the city of Bentonville for each boy. The volume has already been withdrawn from the library shelves, and the director of the library has resigned – although she is adamant she left for personal reasons, not in response to the complaints.

So what’s the basis for the $20,000 damages claim? Per Overlawyered:

[This incident] happened, Adams said, while [his sons] were browsing for material on military academies (titter ye not!). The shock to their sensibilities from exposure to the “immoral” volume resulted in the boys being “greatly disturbed” and undergoing “many sleepless nights in our house.”

Simply ridiculous. Ask these boys in five years whether they still find lesbians “greatly disturb[ing].”
Also, The Whole Lesbian Sex Book has been critically acclaimed. Check out this review:

Cure for cancer? End to world hunger? What’s left to do after the publication of Felice Newman’s definitive guide to lesbian sex? Drawing on a wide range of published sources as well as her own notoriously graphic questionnaire circulated by e-mail… Newman has compiled an exhaustively thorough how-to guide for practices as exotic as play piercings and as pedestrian as oral sex.

Umm, who describes oral sex as “pedestrian”? Sounds like mistakes are being made in this reviewer’s household.
(Also, why are we not surprised that The Whole Lesbian Sex Book has been effusively praised on, of all websites, Amazon?)
Saw sex book by mistake; $10K apiece demanded [Overlawyered]
Man seeks compensation for lesbian trauma [Metro.co.uk]
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book [Amazon.com]

OUCH.
(We suspect that Justice Scalia’s daughter handled herself much better during her recent DUI incident.)
DUI suspect does $1,100 worth of damage with his head [KSTP.com]

necktie sex Above the Law blog.jpgThe delightful site Overheard in New York, which collects humorous bits of overheard conversation, has a collection of law-related “overheards” up today. Here’s our favorite:

Ditzy Chinese chick: So, I went on this job interview with this law firm, right? And this lawyer who was interviewing me was really cute, ya know? So at the end of the interview he stood up, and I wasn’t sure what to say so I said, ‘Well, I don’t know whether you’re going to hire me or not, but I’d really like to f**k you.’

So he came to my apartment after work and f**ked me. Then I get a letter two days later telling me I didn’t get the f**king job! Do you think that’s sexual harassment?

1. YES. He should totally sue.
2. So she “didn’t get the f**king job.” Guess he didn’t like her “audition” for the position.
(Or maybe, just maybe, he thought she had bad judgment. What on earth would have given him that idea?)
3. She should stop complaining — at least she got something out of the interview process. Most of the time, all you have to show for a half-day of boredom is a bunch of business cards. And maybe a nice lunch, if you’re lucky.
The rest of the funny, legally-themed “overheards” — although none as good as this one — are available here. Enjoy!
Wednesday One-Liners, Esq. [Overheard in New York]

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