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Ed. note: This post is by “Juggalo Law,” one of the two writers under consideration to join Morning Dockette as a Morning Docket writer. As always, we welcome your thoughts in the comments.

I have a confession to make. I don’t care at all about the environment. It’s true. Since I was in short pants, I’ve been aggressively indifferent to climate change, rainforests, oil spills and the plight of the Duck-Billed Platypus (“has feet like a duck…but it’s furry!”). This despite my parents’ solid liberal bona fides. This despite my presence at one Young Democrats meeting in 1998 (Earnest Goes to College).

And yet, guys? The Cooch is tripping. That’d be Ken Cuccinelli, the Attorney General of Virginia. Yesterday, a state judge blocked his request to subpoena documents from a college professor studying climate change. Take it away, BLT:

Cuccinelli, a Republican, said he wanted the records in order to investigate whether the researcher, Michael Mann, made false claims in connection with state grant funding. Cuccinelli is a skeptic of human causes of global warming, an area that Mann has studied at the University of Virginia and elsewhere. Mann is now a professor at Pennsylvania State University.

This caps a rather newsworthy couple of weeks for The Cooch. He’s managed to raise the hackles of many an interest group in protecting the rights of Baby Jesus and all unborn critters not named Jesus. In doing so, he’s undoubtedly established himself as a rising star in conservative circles.

But what of his latest…err crusade?

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My name is redacted, but you can call me Morning Dockette. I’m one of the winners of the Morning Docket writer competition. Some of you may know me better as the Tuesday and Thursday finalist from last week’s trial run. In real life, I’m a law school graduate awaiting the results of the July 2010 bar exam. Perhaps most importantly to some of you, I’m a girl. To answer some commenters’ questions, I’m not a mom, and I’m not an angry feminist either, but I totally appreciate proper etiquette. In my spare time, I enjoy life’s guilty pleasures, like watching reality television and catching up on celebrity gossip. I’m also fluent in sarcasm.

I’m so excited to be writing for ATL, and I hope to bring you entertaining stories about the law each morning. I will continue to strive to write witty descriptions about these stories that are somehow both too long and too short, all at the same time. In all seriousness, I welcome your comments and critiques. You can reach me by email at [email protected].

Now, on to the links…

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Leicester Bryce Stovell

LeBron James is taking his talents to Washington. Well, at least his lawyers are. Lawyers for King James have filed their motion to dismiss the suit filed by Leicester Bryce Stovell, a D.C.-based lawyer. Stovell claims that he is LeBron’s father and that LeBron’s mother, Gloria James, tampered with the paternity test that would have proven his claims. Our own Gabe Acevedo did an interview with Stovell back in July.

We offered LeBron the opportunity to appear on Above the Law during an hour-long special called “The Paternity,” where he would reveal the identity not of his biological father, but of whichever man gave him the best chance of expanding LeBron’s global reach. My money was on Justin Bieber, but so far LeBron has declined our offer.

So, for the moment, we’ll have to content ourselves with what his lawyers say about this Leicester Bryce Stovell character…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “After the Way He Treated Cleveland, Why Would Anyone Want To Be LeBron James’s Father?”

* Roger Clemens pleads not guilty. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

* Are you a victim of the “law school scam”? If so, maybe you should have gone into accounting. [Going Concern]

* Speaking of legal education, here’s a podcast about law school rankings, featuring Bob Morse of U.S. News, Indiana University law professor Jeffrey Stake, St. Thomas law dean Al Garcia, and ATL’s very own Elie Mystal. [Law School Interactive]

* Justice Kennedy: E.D. Cal. to 15 (active judges), tells Senate: UR DOIN IT WRONG! [U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit (press release / PDF)]

* Professor J.W. Verret gets into a blog feud with The Corporate Library’s Nell Minow (sister of Harvard Law dean Martha Minow). [Truth on the Market]

* The reader who sent this to us asks: Can Karen Sypher get any of the profits for use of her persona? [Louisville Courier-Journal]

* August 30 isn’t just Above the Law’s birthday. It is also the International Day of the Disappeared, the sobering theme of this week’s Blawg Review. [Not Guilty via Blawg Review]

Here at Above the Law, we like to know what’s going to happen, before it happens. We therefore pay special attention to Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft. The firm is a trendsetter of sorts — at least for things that are bad. Few remember, but Cadwalader faced down a bed bug epidemic back in 2007, long before every New Yorker lived in fear of the critters.

More people know that Cadwalader was one of the early adopters of massive associate layoffs, with the first sizable round all the way back in January 2008 — well before the fall of Lehman and the true start of the financial crisis. CWT was kicking people to the curb before it was cool.

Nobody knows why Cadwalader seemingly has this mystical power to experience calamities before they happen elsewhere, but one doesn’t have to be able to explain every thing that happens to be true. So ignore the following email sent around the New York offices of Cadwalader at your own risk — but don’t say that CWT didn’t warn you…

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[S]tudents should embark upon a legal education with their eyes open; the job market is difficult, and likely to remain so. Legal education is not, as the comments of some would suggest, an entitlement program….

[T]he real value of legal education is not, and never has been, primarily economic. It’s not about money; it’s about freedom. Legal education gives students what 99.9 percent of humanity yearns for but is denied: control over one’s own life. It is a license to make of your life what you may, to live the American dream to its fullest.

John Farmer Jr., Dean of the Rutgers School of Law-Newark, defending legal education in a guest column last Tuesday for the Newark Star-Ledger.

(Gavel bang: ABA Journal.)

Ed. note: When Zenovia Evans (a.k.a. Ethan Haines) outed herself as the law school graduate going on a hunger strike for the cause of law school transparency, she revealed that she lives in Denver. Also living in Denver: Caleb Newquist, lead editor of Going Concern, Above the Law’s sister site for the accounting profession. Zenovia ended her hunger strike today, but Caleb was able to sit down with her for a revealing interview over the weekend. His thoughts — and pictures — appear below.

I met with Zenovia Evans last Friday at a Starbucks in Denver on Colfax Boulevard. The 28-year old, barely-employed law school graduate has been making a stir in the mainstream press and the legal blogosphere ever since she started a hunger strike on August 5th. Admittedly, I was (and remain) skeptical as to her approach as a way of promoting law school transparency and career counseling reform.

When I met Evans, she had a glass of water and a nearly empty 32-ounce Gatorade sitting in front of her.

The purpose of Evans’s hunger strike is well-documented in the coverage here at ATL and in several other news outlets. The bottom line for her is that law school transparency and career counseling at law schools are overdue for change. Major change.

On the day we met, Evans had allegedly abstained from solid food for the last 23 days, so I was expecting someone who was knocking on death’s door. Having experimented with fasting (for health reasons) in the past, and knowing the mental and physical preparedness that is involved, I was surprised to find her lucid — although extremely weak, fatigued and slow-moving…

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Think back, if you can, to August 30, 2006. It was a very different time: George W. Bush was still president, the economy was still booming (even if some of that prosperity was illusory), and the starting salary for most associates in large New York law firms stood at $145,000.

It was on this date that Above the Law first launched. Check out Lat’s letter from the editor, announcing ATL’s debut. Many of the features mentioned in that letter — Legal Eagle Wedding Watch, Lawyerly Lairs, The Eyes of the Law — are still staples of the site today. (Others have morphed a bit. For example, we no longer make fun of other people’s advice columns; we instead publish one of our own, Marin’s Pls Hndle Thx.)

Today we are delighted to be celebrating ATL’s fourth birthday (or “blogiversary,” as some in the blogosphere like to say; but the word “blogiversary” is even uglier than the word “blogosphere”). We’d like to thank all of you — our readers, our tipsters, our sponsors, and our friends — for your support over the years.

To celebrate and to thank you, we’ve decided to extend the special Gilt Groupe menswear sale for Above the Law readers (previously mentioned here). It was supposed to have ended yesterday, but due to popular demand — hundreds of items have been purchased, such as this Thomas Pink necktie that Lat bought, and many selections are sold out — we’re extending the sale through Thursday, September 2, at midnight. To browse the store, click here.

Once again, dear readers, thank you. This site would not be possible without your visits, your tips, and your generous patronage and support.

P.S. Several of our women readers have asked us when ATL will have a women’s wear sale. Fear not; we’re working on special deals for the ladies as well. Keep an eye out for them in the future.

For New Lawyers, the Going Rate Has Gone Up [New York Times]

Earlier: A Gilt Groupe Sale for Above the Law Readers
Happy Blogiversary to… Us! Above the Law Turns Three
Letter from the Editor: Welcome to Above the Law

You know fantasy football has taken over the American consciousness when a fake lawyer threatening fake sanctions in an ad campaign makes the news. This morning the ABA Journal ran a profile of Norman Tugwater, a fantasy sports lawyer played by Gary Busey:

“I’m getting ready to clean up with the mop of justice,” Tugwater proclaims in his YouTube video. “If you refuse to pay our athletes, we’ll come find you, and squeeze it out of you like a tube of toothpaste.”

Tugwater is actually actor Gary Busey, and his video is part of an ad campaign for VitaminWater. “I don’t think twice about coming after fantasy owners. In fact, I rarely think at all,” he writes on Twitter. He continues the taunts on Facebook, where he proclaims, “I wrote the book on fantasy sports law. I also have the only copy.”

That’s right, America is so into fantasy football that Gary Busey is getting work.

I’ve kept my head in the sand regarding fantasy football for a long time. But I can’t ignore it any longer. Let Gary Busey inspire you up below, and then join in ATL’s first reader-only fantasy football league…

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Over the weekend, we received several messages about results for the North Carolina bar exam, which went out by snail mail on Friday. Here’s one email a Carolinian reader sent us:

NC Bar Results were mailed out on Friday… thought you might want to start an open thread or something? I don’t know.

Hmm, we don’t know either. We traditionally post open threads on bar exam results for the biggest states, like New York and California, but we don’t do them for every state. No offense to our many readers from smaller states; we just aren’t inclined to do 50 posts about bar exam results, two times a year.

But we’ll make an exception for North Carolina, since it’s the first state we’ve heard about that has released bar exam results from the July 2010 administration. A question to our readers: Is NC the FIRST state to do so? If you know of a state that released its July 2010 results before this past Friday, August 27, please email us (subject line: “[State] Bar Exam”).

UPDATE: From a reader: “NC is usually the first state to release results, and they typically take 4 weeks. Page 22 of this guide (PDF) has the typical results times for each state.”

How was Carolina able to grade the bar exams so quickly?

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Is NC the fastest state when it comes to grading bar exams?

A couple of weeks ago, we reported on a bit of a bedbug breakout in the Brooklyn D.A.’s office. We thought it was kind of funny, but people who work in that office are not laughing. Instead, emails have been flying around the office — and one message in particular is both informative and hysterical. It’s just hard to decide if it’s hysterical (haha) or hysterical (dogs and cats living together).

The emails are coming from someone who calls himself or herself “Not Taking Bed Bugs” (“NTBB”). This individual is mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. NTBB is trying to incite some collective action from the employees in the Kings County District Attorney’s Office:

Please photograph every bed bug bite you get. Keep records of where in the office you were when you noticed it. Always inform [Lady Scapegoat] via email – exactly how many bites. She needs your help. She needs to know. They need a “paper trail” to document the progress.

Keep your own record of bed bug sighting and always inform [Lady Scapegoat] via email immediately exactly where and when. She needs your help. She needs to know. They need a “paper trail” to document the progress.

IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS FROM BED BUGS, PLEASE CALL IN SICK. ANXIETY IS A DISEASE WITH A MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS.

Also a disease: mass hysteria…

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Ed. note: This post is by Morning Dockette, one of our new Morning Docket writers. You can reach her by email at [email protected].

* In some states, medical marijuana will cost you more than just $450 an ounce. [New York Times]

* Facing possible racketeering charges, the entire cast of Jersey Shore may soon be joining the IFF. [New York Daily News]

* I bet Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream about this… [Washington Post]

* Patently offensive? The world’s 37th richest man sues Apple and Google, to name a few, because he obviously needs more money. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Hawaiians might say aloha (as in “hello”) to gay marriage after California’s Prop. 8 ruling. [Los Angeles Times]

* Paris Hilton should win an award for the most creative alibi of the year. That’s hot. [The Sun]

* The FCC says f**k it, and appeals its indecency policy to the 2nd Circuit. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Protip: if you’re a juror, don’t spill the beans on Facebook that you plan to convict. You might end up being the one convicted. [Click On Detroit]

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