Paralegals

Do clients really know what associates are doing during all those billable hours? Because a lot of the time it's not helping get the job done.

Seven more ways of staying (or at least looking) busy, while you put in your law-firm face time.

Seven recommended ways of staying (or at least looking) busy, while you put in your law-firm face time.

What's the latest news in Biglaw staff layoffs? More are coming...

You'll never guess what kind of drama we discovered when trying to find out who owned the law offices pictured here.

The layoff contagion continues.

Should you be worried if your law firm makes a bunch of lateral hires?

Which law firm is slashing its support staff, and by how much?

* A chat with Chief Judge Alex Kozinski. Kozinski is the only interviewee who can talk about political oppression and reserve the real shock and horror for jury verdicts. [Concurring Opinions] * On a serious note, a summer intern at Bank of America has died after pulling three all-nighters. Biglaw reminds associates that the lesson here is to get your work done faster. [Gawker via Instapundit] * LeBron James thinks he’s actually above the law. What’s more despicable? Using celebrity to ruin everyone else’s commute so you can watch a concert or being part of the Heat? [Grantland] * Case Western Reserve is changing its legal curriculum out of desperation an effort to revolutionize law school. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer] * Women’s magazines make a ton of demoralizing helpful promises. What if lawyers inserted themselves into the editorial process? [The Tangential] * A Chicago ER doctor is facing a lawsuit over taking and posting pictures of a woman — apparently this “actress, model, and ex-professional tennis player” — who’d had too much to drink. Dr. Carter has really gone downhill. [IT-Lex] * RIP Groklaw, 2003-2013. The stalwart blog has decided to shut down over concerns about government surveillance. [Groklaw] * An attorney in Texas decided to take to Craigslist to rip another lawyer advertising a $10/hour paralegal job. Screenshots of the original and the response after the jump… [Craigslist]

How long will this relationship continue to dominate headlines?

Some people wonder if Julia Law was murdered....

* We know you’re all excited about the new RANKINGS, but tonight is also the LAST NIGHT to vote for Law Revue finalists. [Above the Law] * “It’s totally reasonable to spend $75 just for a shot at an unpaid internship,” said no one ever. [Craigslist] * Kirkland & Ellis (or any Biglaw firm) handing out advice on women and “work/life balance” should elicit exactly this response. [UChiLawGo] * Reading Above the Law can make you money. Sure, it’s only by boosting your severance package, but… [A Paralegal's Life] * Several law school professors were recruited from prison. So if you’re hoping to get tenure… [Dallas Blog] * Pirate Bay is still out there hopping around the Caribbean to avoid prosecution. Just like real-life, well, you know. [IBTimes] * Running over a bicyclist? Accomplishment unlocked for some real-life GTA players. [Legal Juice]

Happy Administrative Professionals’ Day! While we focus a lot on lawyers, judges, and law schools around here, I wanted to take this opportunity to appreciate our legal staff audience — the legal secretaries, paralegals, clerks, recruiters, office managers, word processors, receptionists, and everyone else affiliated with the legal practice other than the J.D. crowd. Not only do you do great work, but you also help keep this site running with your anonymous tips. Keep ‘em coming! [Above the Law] * Why yes, I do want a Tumblr of GIFs about public defenders. [What the Public Defender] * A mega-retailer with a reputation for ruthlessly destroying its competitors makes life difficult for anyone who has to subpoena them? No! [Associate's Mind] * UVA College Republicans see a massive infringement of student rights in the administration’s decision that fraternities conclude pledging early as an anti-hazing measure. Republicans: Protecting your God-given right to create a naked pyramid since Abu Ghraib. [Cavalier Daily] * “The Blogger as Public Intellectual.” See, we’re a lot more than dick jokes about law firms, people. [PrawfsBlawg] * Of all the reasons to lock your cell phone, “To Avoid Arrest” is one of them. [Legal Juice] * Biglaw explained: Clinical depression is contagious. [Law and More] * SJL Attorney Search has acquired The Shannon Group, a Washington, D.C.-based career transition, coaching and talent development firm. [SJL Shannon Press Release via Wall Street Journal] * Arrested Development is coming back soon! Check out this infographic that tells you which Arrested Development character you are. To the surprise of no one, I’m Lucille. Unfortunately, Barry Zuckercorn, Maggie Lizer, and Bob Loblaw aren’t options. [OK Gorgeous]

How much are you spending on your administrative assistant or secretary this week?

How long would you have lasted at this firm?

* An attorney from Orrick with two SCOTUS clerkships under his belt will now be arguing a case before the high court. Seems standard, but the exciting part is that this guy’s still an associate. Congratulations! [Am Law Daily]

* From Biglaw to Boutique, the Finnegan edition: five IP lawyers, including a member of the firm’s management committee, will be starting their own practice. We may have more on this later. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Calling all wannabe government lawyers! Screw the sequester; the Department of Justice is planning to add more than 100 positions in 2014. Let’s hope these budget requests are approved. [Legal Times]

* “I actually felt sick working him for him.” If you were a paralegal and your boss was allegedly trying to recruit you to be his “third wife,” you’d feel the same. Expect more on this on this later. [New York Post]

* Here are 25 Northeast law schools ranked by employment rate. At least my school wasn’t ranked dead last on this list, and that’s something to be excited about… right? [Boston Business Journal]

* Maybe more people will care about law schools when their credit ratings tank. Speaking of which, thanks to a 14% drop in enrollment, Standard & Poor’s has downgraded Albany Law. [Times Union]

* Joseph Feller, an environmentalist and beloved professor at ASU College of Law, RIP. [ASU Law]

* The Dukes of Hazzard and Braveheart cited in the Eleventh Circuit. Other circuits, the gauntlet has been thrown down. [Volokh Conspiracy] * Dave’s not here, man. Probably not the smartest stoner on the planet. [Lowering the Bar] * Former Skadden attorney loses her appeal claiming that insomnia constituted a disability. It’s a setback for her, but nothing worth losing sleep over. [National Law Journal] * The Second Circuit agreed with every other court that heard the motion and denied the effort to recuse Magistrate Judge Peck from the Da Silva Moore predictive coding case. [IT-Lex] * Maybe it’s time for law professors to get off their duffs and try helping out their unemployed students directly. [Concurring Opinions] * Judge Easterbrook allows a $25K student-loan discharge for a ‘destitute’ paralegal. The educational-industrial complex is not going to sit still for this. [ABA Journal] * Saira Rao, of Chambermaid (affiliate link) fame, has a new publishing venture — check it out. [Kickstarter] * Oh, BARBRI. What’s the Matter with Kansas, indeed (after the jump)…. * Posted previously on Facebook (now pulled):

The unhappiest job in America is... exactly the one you'd expect.

Is Casey Anthony entering the legal profession? Her lawyer believes she'd make a great paralegal.

* “[W]e cannot continue as a nation with 11 million people residing in the shadows.” And we especially can’t have all those people in the shadows without hundreds and hundreds of drones in place. Civil liberties be damned! [Huffington Post]

* According to this Wells Fargo survey, Biglaw did quite well in terms of revenues last year. Given that PPP was up nearly five percent, it’s now appropriate to bitch about why your bonuses weren’t even bigger than they were. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* “Being a lawyer is a damn good profession.” To be fair, it could be an even better profession if things in legal education were subjected to some serious change, and Hofstra Law’s new dean seems to understand that. [New York Law Journal]

* Stoners everywhere would like to know when the federal government is going to legalize marijuana, but to be frank, they should thank their Lucky Charms they’re not getting prosecuted in states where it is legal. [TIME]

* Russia is officially trying to prosecute a dead man — a dead lawyer, no less. That said, we’re pretty sure it’s safe to say that not even Yakov Smirnoff himself could come up with a reversal for this one. [New York Times]

* Oh my god, some of Lat’s pop culture prophecies are coming true: Casey Anthony wants to become a paralegal. Nancy Grace is in the process of birthing a herd of cows over Tot Mom’s ambitions. [ABC News]

* The grand jury in the JonBenet Ramsey murder case thought there was enough evidence to indict the Ramseys on child abuse charges. This would’ve been a great thing to be outraged about in 1999. [CBS News]

* I’ll be tweeting from the LegalTech show today. Follow me on Twitter to get all the latest updates. [Twitter]