Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:
On Thursday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our caption contest…
“The role of the traditional ‘legal secretary’ is rapidly changing,” one secretary recently told us. “Major law firms are full of career secretaries with 20 to 25 years of service, but younger attorneys don’t need the same assistance. You will see that many firms are adopting a secretarial team/services center model which increases the secretary/attorney ratio from 1:3 to 1:5, 1:6, 1:7 or more. At my former firm, it was 1:10. Honest.”
“Paralegals are in trouble too,” this source added. “First-year associates need something to do. I am ranting now.”
This tipster (and several others) told us about yet another law firm conducting layoffs, which we confirmed with the firm….
Firms generally celebrate when they make lateral hires. They trumpet the new arrivals with press releases, invoking themes of growth, expansion, and an enhanced ability to serve clients.
For folks who are already at a firm, however, could lateral hiring have a downside? Could it possibly result in layoffs of existing employees?
Our latest layoff story raises this possibility….
We almost made it, but not quite. We almost experienced a week, albeit a shortened one, without layoff news. (Our last layoff story came out before the long holiday weekend.)
The latest cuts are significant, into the double digits. Let’s find out which firm is reducing headcount and by how much….
* A chat with Chief Judge Alex Kozinski. Kozinski is the only interviewee who can talk about political oppression and reserve the real shock and horror for jury verdicts. [Concurring Opinions]
* On a serious note, a summer intern at Bank of America has died after pulling three all-nighters. Biglaw reminds associates that the lesson here is to get your work done faster. [Gawker via Instapundit]
* LeBron James thinks he’s actually above the law. What’s more despicable? Using celebrity to ruin everyone else’s commute so you can watch a concert or being part of the Heat? [Grantland]
* Case Western Reserve is changing its legal curriculum out of
desperation an effort to revolutionize law school. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]
* Women’s magazines make a ton of
demoralizing helpful promises. What if lawyers inserted themselves into the editorial process? [The Tangential]
* A Chicago ER doctor is facing a lawsuit over taking and posting pictures of a woman — apparently this “actress, model, and ex-professional tennis player” — who’d had too much to drink. Dr. Carter has really gone downhill. [IT-Lex]
* RIP Groklaw, 2003-2013. The stalwart blog has decided to shut down over concerns about government surveillance. [Groklaw]
* An attorney in Texas decided to take to Craigslist to rip another lawyer advertising a $10/hour paralegal job. Screenshots of the original and the response after the jump… [Craigslist]
You knew this was going to happen eventually.
Sarah Jones — perhaps better known as the modern day Mary Kay Letourneau, but sexier — is now engaged to the student with whom she once had an illicit, illegal relationship, while he was still under the age of consent.
In case you you’ve forgotten about her, Sarah Jones once inspired many a wet dream during her time as high school teacher who moonlighted as a cheerleader for the Cincinnati Bengals. Her world came crashing down when TheDirty.com, a gossip site, alleged that she’d slept with all the players on the Bengals and had STDs. Shortly thereafter, she was indicted for sleeping with a student. Jones sued TheDirty.com for defamation, and months after she copped a plea on sexual misconduct charges in her criminal case, the civil case ended in a mistrial.
With all of those loose ends kind of sort of tied up, Jones’s tiger cub apparently decided it was a perfect time to pounce and put a ring on it…
We’ve got some sad news today out of Philadelphia, where Julia Law, a young paralegal, was found dead in her employer’s bathtub. That may seem odd, but as it turns out, Law had been dating her boss, well-known defense attorney A. Charles Peruto Jr., for a month or two, and she had a key to his condo.
Law was supposed to be celebrating her 27th birthday today, but instead, we’re awaiting her autopsy results. Law was reportedly texting with coworkers until 1 a.m. on the day of her death, lamenting the lack of “scented bubble bath” at Peruto’s home. That was apparently enough to invoke police suspicion.
At this time, the cause of Law’s death is unknown, but some observers wonder if the beautiful young woman may have been murdered….
* “It’s totally reasonable to spend $75 just for a shot at an unpaid internship,” said no one ever. [Craigslist] UPDATE: The crafty employer took it down already. But they didn’t count on me getting a screenshot and transcribing it. Check it out after the jump!
* Kirkland & Ellis (or any Biglaw firm) handing out advice on women and “work/life balance” should elicit exactly this response. [UChiLawGo]
* Reading Above the Law can make you money. Sure, it’s only by boosting your severance package, but… [A Paralegal's Life]
* Several law school professors were recruited from prison. So if you’re hoping to get tenure… [Dallas Blog]
* Pirate Bay is still out there hopping around the Caribbean to avoid prosecution. Just like real-life, well, you know. [IBTimes]
* Running over a bicyclist? Accomplishment unlocked for some real-life GTA players. [Legal Juice]
* Happy Administrative Professionals’ Day! While we focus a lot on lawyers, judges, and law students, I’d like to take this opportunity to appreciate our legal staff audience — the secretaries, paralegals, clerks, recruiters, office managers, word processors, receptionists, and everyone else affiliated with the legal practice other than the J.D. crowd. Not only do you do great work, but you help keep this site running with your anonymous tips. Keep ‘em coming! [Above the Law]
* Why yes, I do want a Tumblr of GIFs about public defenders. [What the Public Defender]
* A mega-retailer with a reputation for ruthlessly destroying its competitors makes life difficult for anyone who has to subpoena them? No! [Associate's Mind]
* UVA College Republicans see a massive infringement of student rights in the administration’s decision that fraternities conclude pledging early as an anti-hazing measure. Republicans: Protecting your God-given right to create a naked pyramid since Abu Ghraib. [Cavalier Daily]
* “The Blogger as Public Intellectual.” See, we’re a lot more than dick jokes about law firms, people. [PrawfsBlawg]
* Of all the reasons to lock your cell phone, “To Avoid Arrest” is one of them. [Legal Juice]
* Biglaw explained: Clinical depression is contagious. [Law and More]
* SJL Attorney Search has acquired The Shannon Group, a Washington, D.C.-based career transition, coaching and talent development firm. [Wall Street Journal (press release)]
* Arrested Development is coming back soon! Check out this infographic that tells you which Arrested Development character you are. To the surprise of no one, I’m Lucille. Unfortunately, Barry Zuckercorn, Maggie Lizer, and Bob Loblaw aren’t options. [OK Gorgeous]
Ed. note: This is the fourth installment in a new series of monthly posts, brought to you by Corporette’s Kat Griffin, which will deal with topical business and lifestyle issues that present themselves in the world of Biglaw. Send your ideas for columns to us here.
For those of you who don’t know, it’s that time of the year: time to tell the world
how much you love your assistant that you’re a great manager by showering your assistant with gifts. Technically the “holiday” runs the entire last full week in April, but Administrative Professionals’ Day itself is Wednesday, April 24.
What’s the deal?