Perverts
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Celebrities, Crime, Perverts, Pets, Sex
Why You Shouldn't Hire Natasha Lyonne as Your Dog Walker
We’re late in writing about this story. But given our commitment to covering celebrity legal woes, we must at least mention it: Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of “American Pie” accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court on Friday. A bench warrant was issued for her […] -
Advertising, Old People, Perverts, Screw-Ups, Sex, Shameless Plugs
The Most Happy Fella... Who Molested a Nonagenarian?
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Celebrities, Drinking, Hotties, Movies, Non-Sequiturs, Old People, Perverts, Police, Sex, Videos
Non-Sequiturs: 12.05.06
* In Breathless, Michel (played by Jean-Paul Belmondo) remarks that the women of Sweden, despite their reputation, are pretty much like women everywhere: there are indeed many pretty ones, but most are plain or ugly. So you can understand why these two busted Swedish cops kept records of the former. [AP via MSNBC] * Harold […]
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Biglaw, Crime, Gambling, Kids, Morning Docket, Perverts, SCOTUS, Sex, Supreme Court, Violence
Morning Docket: 12.05.06
* This, this, and this from How Appealing on the race in public schools cases argued before the Supreme Court yesterday. * And for the second straight day, someone blames their crime on bingo. [CNN] * A “temporary” solution for being burned out on biglaw. [WSJ Law Blog] * I guess this is kinda like […]
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Animal Law, Deaths, Jury Duty, Lunacy, Movies, Non-Sequiturs, Perverts, Sex, Trials, Violence
Non-Sequiturs: 11.30.06
* Jurors go wild… kind of. [AP via Yahoo! News] * This could be your fate if you have sexual relations with any animal, dead or alive, regardless of law: you could be the posthumous star of a Sundance documentary. [Editor and Publisher] * Do not think you can know go about suing the various […] -
Craigslist, Non-Sequiturs, Nude Dancing, Perverts, Sex, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns
Non-Sequiturs: 11.24.06
* And you thought your parents were embarrassing when you were a pre-teen. [Associated Press via Times Leader] * Now I know not to act upon those revenge fantasies I’ve had of playing the same prank on that female senior associate who yelled at me last week. [New York Daily News] * Also an anti-competition […] -
Animal Law, Bad Ideas, Food, Perverts, Pets, Sex
Doe, A Deer, A Female Deer = Sexytime!
Bestiality-oriented necrophiliacs who live in Wisconsin, we bring you some potentially good news. In the next few weeks, a court could hold that you may have your way with whatever animals you please — as long as they’re dead. From The Smoking Gun: Meet Bryan James Hathaway, alleged venison lover. The Wisconsin man, 20, is […] -
Canada, Perverts, Sentencing Law, Sex
If We End Up Getting Stuck With That Perv... Blame Canada
The United States and Canada are playing “hot potato” with sex offender Malcolm Watson. Here’s the latest development in the story (which we’ve been following): An American teacher allowed to serve probation in Ontario for a misdemeanour sex offence was never “exiled” to Canada as was widely reported, the U.S. judge who approved the deal […] - Sponsored
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Britney Spears, Celebrities, Copyright, Deaths, Divorce Train Wrecks, Family Law, Intellectual Property, Music, Non-Sequiturs, Perverts, Politics, Sex
Non-Sequiturs: 11.07.06
* It’s becoming a trend. Another member of the bar takes his own life after being accused of sexual misconduct. [New York Times] * Let’s keep it light, shall we? Yup, Britney has finally wised up. The bad news is that she lost her lawsuit against US Magazine; the court held that Britney asked for […] -
Non-Sequiturs, Nude Dancing, Perverts, Television
Non-Sequiturs: 10.30.06
* The German court is right — long distance relationships are a bitch. [Reuters] * Blonde Justice shares her views of the new legal drama Shark. James Woods is pretty universally acknowledged as a horndog / lucky bastard, but despite his stellar Dirty Old Man credentials, how can we watch him in anything anymore without […] -
Canada, Immigration, Perverts, Sentencing Law, Sex
Canada to U.S.: Please Send Your Pervs to Mexico
Okay, they didn’t quite say that. But they might as well have. A quick update on a story we previously wrote about: An American schoolteacher sentenced to three years’ probation — to be served in Canada — [was] detained at the border, Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day has confirmed. Malcolm Watson, who was convicted of […] -
Canada, Perverts, Sentencing Law, Sex
Because Canada Is Suffering from a Pervert Shortage
We’re all in favor of innovation in criminal sentencing. But this struck us as a little weird: After a judge convicted him of sexually abusing a 15-year-old student, teacher Malcolm Watson was offered two punishment options: an American jail cell or exile to Canada. Mr. Watson chose Canada. The unusual sentence, which has immigration lawyers […] -
Craigslist, Non-Sequiturs, Perverts, Pornography, Ridiculousness, Sex
Non-Sequiturs: 10.23.06
* For those of you hipsters moaning about gentrification in your respective cities (but really, where is this clamor louder than in New York City?), is this what you mean by “keeping it real”? [New York Daily News via Althouse] * While we all know what happens to pedophiles in jail, this guy should at […]
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Perverts, Pranks, Sex
Hey Brother, Do You Ever Get That "Not So Fresh Feeling"?
Yeah, we know, the law is what’s on the books — not what judges feel like it should be. So we don’t take issue with the New Jersey Supreme Court’s recent sex offender registration decision as a legal matter. But we do question the case’s outcome as a policy matter. From the Newark Star-Ledger (via […] -
9th Circuit, Dick Grasso, Federal Circuit, Harvard, Money, Morning Docket, NYSE, Perverts
Morning Docket: 09.12.06
* Justice Department lawyers have lost their Federal Circuit appeal in their long-running class action suit for overtime pay. Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be DOJ attorneys. [Washington Post] * The Ninth Circuit has ruled against a freelance journalist and blogger who refused to testify to a grand jury or turn over […]
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Crime, Perverts, Sex Scandals, Sexual Harassment, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns
Judge Donald Thompson: Underneath His Robe
Judge Donald Thompson — remember him? The Oklahoma state court judge who was packing a penis pump underneath that robe? Well, here’s the latest development in his fall from grace: A former judge convicted of exposing himself while presiding over jury trials by using a sexual device under his robe was sentenced Friday to four […] -
Attorney Misconduct, Bad Ideas, Perverts, Pornography, Sexual Harassment, Too Clever By Half
What's a Little Kiddie Porn Between Friends?
We’ve already named William DiSalvatore our Lawyer of the Day, so that award is off the table. But if DiSalvatore hadn’t already grabbed the laurels, Kweku Hanson, of Hartford, Connecticut, would have been a deserving winner. Here’s why: Sexual assault and child pornography charges pending against Hartford attorney Kweku J. Hanson aren’t enough to warrant […] -
8th Circuit, Bad Ideas, Immigration, Morning Docket, Perverts, Pornography
Morning Docket: 8.10.06
* Immigration judges will be subject to annual performance reviews for the first time ever. Now the full extent of their incompetence will be revealed. [New York Times] * Attorneys for the deceased Ken Lay begin the process of posthumously clearing his name. Death has some fringe benefits. [Houston Chronicle] * You don’t need a […]