While working as a contributor to this publication, I wrote about Florida’s decision to put up a couple grand to see if they could coax a ton of folks into the swamp to kill invasive Burmese Pythons ($1500 for killing the most, and $1000 for killing the biggest). To recap, Floridian snake lovers bought non-native Burmese Pythons over the course of several years and then lost or willfully set them loose in the wild, where they proceeded to breed like rabbits… if rabbits were capable of pumping out 80 offspring at once.
And now the contest is over. So how did it go? Well, experts estimate there are about 150,000 Burmese Pythons in the Florida swamps, 1,567 people applied to take part in the hunt, and over the last month, they managed to kill….
This is why Indiana Jones never looked for the Fountain of Youth in the Everglades.
How much would you need to be paid to go into the swamp to hunt snakes?
Florida, the national leader in providing reasons why America can’t have nice things, has a bit of a snake problem. For years, Floridians have imported exotic snakes, including giant Burmese Pythons, and then released them into the wild when they got too big for the aquarium.
Seriously, when a massive snake indigenous to an environment half-a-world away becomes too troublesome or dangerous to take care of, many, many people just drop it off on the street.
Unfortunately, these new state citizens take their newfound freedom and pump out over 80 eggs at a time, growing to 17-feet long and eating deer whole.
Congress has proven incapable of forging a solution to the problem, but Florida has got this figured out: Pay rednecks to go after the snakes with machetes!
You know how we know it’s law school finals time? Because we keep receiving crazy pictures taken in law school libraries in our inbox.
This time, we’ve got to ask: just how low are law school admissions standards these days? Maybe this law school took the lawyer dog meme a bit too seriously and thought that all dogs go to law school, as opposed to heaven, like in that 80s cartoon movie. Just imagine how much “fun” it would be to watch a gunner dog barking at the professor in class.
Today at least, Gregory Garre is dog’s best friend in the Supreme Court.
The Court heard two cases involving when dogs can use their noses to help fight the war on drugs. Garre argued both – back to back – for the State of Florida. Fresh on the heels of his representation of Texas in the recent affirmative action case, it was an impressive morning.
The first case presented the question of whether a dog – here, named Frankie – brought to the front door of a house, can sniff at the front of the house for drugs.
Garre came out of the box asserting that there is no legitimate expectation of privacy in contraband. That didn’t go so well….
If you could end a legal dispute by including a picture of a puppy in an email, would you do it? If the other party promised to do what you want if you send him a picture of a puppy, wouldn’t you at least try? What’s the downside? Everybody loves puppies (except Mitt Romney). I don’t want to sound like Winston Zeddemore, but if someone asks you for a puppy picture, you say yes.
A lawyer for Lockheed Martin evidently doesn’t share my desire to get along with others. When confronted with a domain registration dispute, a private citizen agreed to transfer a domain to Lockheed, so long as the company’s lawyer included a picture of a puppy in one of his emails.
The lawyer didn’t respond appropriately, and now there’s a whole Gizmodo post on the dust-up. Pictures of pets 1, stuffy lawyers 0….
The last winner of our esteemed Comment of the Week contest was rewarded for bringing some Oscar-winning gravitas to an already serious issue. Namely, the oft-crushing weight of student loans.
There’s always time for serious business, but sometimes we appreciate astute observations of minute, easily-overlooked details. (As Mitch Hedberg would have said, “What the f**k is a sesame?”) And our newest Commenter of the Week winner uncovered a similarly amusing logic problem in a former Sidley Austin associate’s book about his adopted K9….
* This is why you shouldn’t feed your illegal pet monkey Frosted Flakes — or own an illegal pet monkey, I guess. [Chicago Tribune]
* In other incredible pet law news, a Rhode Island woman is not pleased that her neighbor’s cockatoo has been calling her a “f**king whore.” Awk! Polly want a restraining order? [Legal Blog Watch]
* This is a pretty good round-up of the summer’s most whacked-out legal stories. Think naked people covered in Crisco, kids destroying thousands of dollars in MacBooks — by peeing on them — and a nasty death-by-sex situation. [Legally Weird]
* Making people log in to unsubscribe from junk email isn’t only annoying as sh*t, it’s also probably illegal (as it freaking should be). [Ars Technica]
* A “Man-gina” lawsuit from Texas. I don’t need to say any more. [Houston Press]
* This dude says smoking pot made him a better dad. I somehow doubt this is part of Elie Mystal’s preparation regimen for the stork’s impending arrival. [New York Times]
* Congratulations to everyone who just passed the MPRE — you can learn your score on the MPRE website. [MPRE]
The holiday season is upon us, and yet again, you have no idea what to get for the fickle lawyer in your life. We’re here to help. Even if your bonus check hasn’t arrived yet, any one of the gifts we’ve highlighted here could be a worthy substitute until your employer decides to make it rain.
We’ve got an eclectic selection for you to choose from, so settle in by that stack of documents yet to be reviewed and dig in…
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: email@example.com.
We currently have a very exciting and rare type of in-house opening in China at one of the world’s leading internet and social media companies. Our client is looking for an IP Transactional / TMT / Licensing attorney with 2 to 6 years experience. The new hire will be based in Shenzhen or Shanghai. Mandarin is not required (deal documentation will be in English) but is preferred. A solid reason to be in China and a commitment to that market is required of course. This new hire will likely be US qualified (but could also be qualified in UK or other jurisdictions) and with experience and training at a top law firm’s IP transactional / TMT practice and could be currently at a law firm or in-house. Qualified candidates currently Asia based, Europe based or US based will be considered. The new hire’s supervisors in this technology transactions in-house team are very well regarded US trained IP transactional lawyers, with substantial experience at Silicon Valley firms. The culture and atmosphere in this in-house group and the company in general is entrepreneurial, team oriented, and the work is cutting edge, even for a cutting edge industry. The upside of being in an important strategic in-house position in this fast growing and world leading internet company is of the “sky is the limit” variety. Its a very exciting place to be in China for a rising IP transactional lawyer in our opinion, for many reasons beyond the basic info we can share here in this ad / post. This is a special A+ opportunity.
If your firm is in ‘go’ mode when it comes to recruiting lateral partners with loyal clients, then take this quiz to see how well you measure up. Keep track of your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ responses.
1. Does your firm have a clearly defined strategy of practice groups that are priorities of growth for your office? Nothing gets done by random chance, but with a clear vision for the future. Identify the top practice areas for which you wish to add lateral partners. Seek input from practice group leaders and get specifics on needs, outcomes, and ideal target profiles.
2. In addition to clarifying your firm’s growth strategy, are you still open to the hire of a partner outside of your plan? I’ve made several placements that fit this category. The partner’s practice was not within the strategic growth plan of my client, but once the two parties started talking with each other, we all saw how it could indeed be a seamless fit. Be open to “Opportunistic Hires.” You never know where your next producing partner might come from, so you have to be open to it. I will be the first to admit that there is a quirky element of randomness in recruiting.
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