Pets

Mike Nifong small Michael Nifong Michael B Nifong Michael Byron Nifong Above the Law maybe not.JPGQuite literally. From TSG:

In a pathetic end to the Mike Nifong saga, the disgraced North Carolina prosecutor who handled the Duke rape investigation has turned in his law license, noting that he never framed or displayed the document because it had been damaged “by a puppy in her chewing stage.”

Additionally, in an August 7 letter to the North Carolina State Bar, Nifong noted that the law license also contained a misspelling of his middle name (which is Byron).

From the tipster who drew this to our attention: “Astounding.” But sadly appropriate, too.
Nifong: The Dog Ate My Law License [The Smoking Gun]

Bar Exam Lolcats Facebook Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgTo everyone sitting for the bar exam today (or later this week): Good luck!
Relax; you’ll be just fine. We’re sure that you’ll pass, with flying colors.
Even if you don’t, no worries. You can take the bar again. Lots of famous and successful people didn’t pass the first time around. (Or even, say, the thirteenth time around.)
And if you don’t pass, that could be a blessing in disguise. It could constitute your million-dollar payday!
(Or maybe your $9.75 payday. That’s good for at least two beverages at Starbucks, even after they hike prices later this summer.)
Bar Exam Lolcats [Facebook]
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of bar exams (scroll down)

Michael Vick dog dogfight Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgFrom ESPN.com (gavel bang: commenter):

In another [Michael] Vick-related matter, the quarterback’s camp has begun interviewing candidates to beef up his legal defense team in the event he goes to trial [on federal charges of conspiracy related to an alleged dogfighting venture].

Vick’s longtime personal attorney, Lawrence Woodward, is expected to remain part of the defense team, but advisors have urged that the Falcons star consider adding counsel with experience in the federal courts.

The Vick camp has solicited recommendations and is believed to have interviewed at least one prominent defender from the prestigious Washington, D.C., firm of Wilmer Hale.

And from a second commenter:

WilmerHale for Vick? Wow, doesn’t seem like a dog-fighting defense shop. They do white collar defense, but that’s a different ball game. From their website: “We have defended clients against allegations of insider trading; securities, healthcare, accounting and government contracts fraud; criminal antitrust violations; money laundering; and alleged violations of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act and other statutes.”

So, any speculation as to which WilmerHale lawyer is being considered by Team Vick? Or a recommendation of a top “dog-fighting defense shop” for the embattled sports star?
NFL, Falcons could ask Vick to focus energies in court [ESPN.com]

Michael Vick dog dogfight Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg* Who let the dogs fight? Who? Who? Feds say: football star Michael Vick. [CNN; TSG]
* Bar-Bri class reps (no, different class reps): No incentive payments for you. [The Recorder]
* Seven-figure legal bills: par for the course for white-collar criminal defendants. [WSJ Law Blog]
* India market hot for law firms. [Law.com]
* Billionaire Siebel gets California Supreme Court’s ok to sue lawyer and judge despite settlement. [The Recorder]
* UK girl loses fight to wear purity ring at school. Chastity belt still under review. [MSNBC]
* Ohio Turnpike murder-for-hire case could result in death sentence. [CNN]

* Wow, talk about passive-aggressive behavior. (The husband, not the wife.) [Island Packet]
* The FTC may be good at many things, but creative punny language is not one of them. [Truth on the Market]
* Sexual harassment: once a dog, always a dog. [Reuters / Oddly Enough]
* I blame the same wiring responsible for guys’ breasts-as-stimuli reaction for the double take on that guy with the Che Guevara neck tatt. Reflex trumps judgment. [Agoraphilia]

dog crap dog poo dog poop dog feces Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgHere’s a development that has Colorado prosecutors saying “oh crap” — quite literally. From the Rocky Mountain News:

A former Democratic Party activist who left dog feces on the doorstep of U.S. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave’s Greeley office during last year’s 4th Congressional District campaign was found not guilty Wednesday of criminal use of a noxious substance.

So what happened? Did the prosecution fail to establish the element of noxiousness?

Ensz’s lawyers never denied that their client left a Musgrave campaign brochure full of feces at the front door of the congresswoman’s office. But they argued that Ensz was making a statement protected by free speech – the poop was a symbol of what she thought of Musgrave’s politics.

“Her only intention of going over there was to make a political statement that Marilyn Musgrave’s politics stink,” attorney Shannon D. Lyons said after the verdict.

Is feces flinging the flag burning of the future?
Woman acquitted of illegal poop use [Rocky Mountain News]

Okay, this isn’t as amusing as the Alexandra Korry haikus that have been unleashed in the comments. But then again, few things are.
Courtesy of ATL reader “Josef Stalin,” here’s a Lolcat graphic, in honor of Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell:
lolcat Sullivan Cromwell Aaron Charney Above the Law blog.jpg
Lolcat [Wikipedia]
P.S. Please vote for Jordin Sparks in American Idol!!! Call 1-866-IDOLS-02, or text “VOTE” to 5702.
Even Professor Althouse, a diehard Blake Lewis fan, kind of agrees: “So, okay, let Jordin win. Blake will be fine. It will be better this way.”

golden retriever dog pet lawsuit estate litigation Above the Law blog.jpgWe’re not really big on pets. Taking care of them is a lot of work, and we can barely keep our houseplant alive. So stories like this one strike us as almost insane:

A man who had not written a will left a $2 million estate, but the most hotly contested item in court has been his golden retriever, Alex. The four-way dispute over the 13-year-old pet was so intense, an attorney was appointed to represent the dog’s interest.

A guardian ad litem causa canis, perhaps?

On Monday, the judge decided the man’s divorced parents should split custody, The Commercial Appeal reported.

“At first glance, the petition seems almost frivolous, but after speaking with all parties, it is evident that this is a highly emotional issue for all involved,” said Alex’s attorney, Paul Royal, in his report to the probate court.

You had it right the first time, Mr. Royal.
P.S. A former colleague who shares our aversion to pets once quipped, “There are at least ten good reasons not to get a dog. Reasons one through nine are fecal matter.”
Judge settles intense custody battle over dog [CNN]

* Since charges have been dropped, we can only hope nothing more severe than spray painting occurred. Those poor goats and sheep, always such pervert-magnets. [LoHud.com (The Journal News)]
* I think the Vietnamese president lost a bet to our president. [Jurist]
* This, hopefully, will not offend anyone. [New York Times]
* The upside is that such drama is indispensable to country song-writing, so better her than me. [AP via Yahoo! News]

Menu Foods pet food recall dead pets Above the Law blog.JPG[Insert pro forma "dumb Canadians" joke here.]
(And if you’re a plaintiffs’ lawyer who would love to turn this into a class action, you’re too late — a class action lawsuit was filed last week.)
Woman Sick After Eating Recalled Pet Food [Canadian Press]
Class action suit filed against Menu foods [CNN]

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