Phil Alito

It’s Alito time, Phil! (via Getty Images)

* The NSA has violated the Constitution for years, you say? And it’s been misleading the FISA court about all of its domestic spying activities? As of this moment, the NSA is on double secret probation! [New York Times]

* Imagine how the New York stop-and-frisk case would have turned out if it had been before SCOTUS. The “human toll of unconstitutional stops” may not have been weighed so heavily. [Opinionator / New York Times]

* “[N]o one has a crystal ball,” but right now, it’s highly likely that the Supreme Court will take up another gay marriage case. Perhaps it’ll be the one that’s currently unfolding in Pennsylvania. [Legal Intelligencer]

* According to a recent survey conducted by Randstad, about 60 percent of lawyers are proud to be members of the legal profession, which is impressive(!) considering how unhappy they are. [The Lawyer]

* Birds of a feather really do flock together. Philip Alito, son of Justice Samuel Alito, will join Eugene Scalia, son of Justice Antonin Scalia, at Gibson Dunn’s Washington, D.C. office. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Even though the vast majority of his race-based claims were dismissed on summary judgment, this “token black associate” still has a respected Biglaw firm up against the Ropes. [National Law Journal]

* Law school applications are plummeting, but top law schools haven’t started scraping the bottom of the barrel — their applicants’ LSAT scores have remained relatively competitive. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* I am Chelsea Manning, I am a female.” Considering (s)he was just sentenced to 35 years in prison, Bradley Chelsea Manning picked a great time to make this announcement to the world. [Chicago Tribune]

* You dare call the Duchess of Dumplins racist and sexist? When it comes to Paula Deen’s new legal team from Morgan Lewis, five are women, and four are black. Take that, Lisa Jackson. [Am Law Daily]

Celebrity Skin: a great album, by the way.

Last month, we asked: Who are this year’s celebrity summer associates? In recent years, major law firms have hosted famous figures as summer associates, including a successful author, a not-so-successful author, and a reality TV beauty.

This year, the celebrity wattage is considerably lower. But there are still a few notable names floating out there (and we welcome additional submissions, by email). For example, we recently wrote about actor Wai Choy, a former co-star of Lindsay Lohan who is now summering at Proskauer in New York.

Our next celebrity summer associate isn’t super-famous in his own right (even though he’s as good-looking as many a Hollywood actor). Instead, he derives his celebrity from a famous father.

So who is he, and where does he work?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Celebrity Summer Associate: Supreme Offspring”

phil alito matt thiessen philip alito matthew thiessen.JPGActually, no. But Matthew Thiessen, lead singer of the Christian pop-punk band Relient K, bears a striking resemblance to Philip Alito, Justice Samuel A. Alito’s handsome college-age son.
Check out the photo montage at right. The two pictures on the left are of Phil Alito; the two pics on the right are of Matt Thiessen. Both are pale and pretty boys, with light- to reddish-brown hair, and delicate facial features.
If you STILL question the resemblance, we refer you to the music video for Relient K’s hit single, “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been” (see below). It’s a delightful song. And in the video, Thiessen — who was surely subjected to a makeover by a stylist — looks especially Alito-licious. Enjoy!

Relient K [official website]
The Alito Children: In Their Own Words [UTR]

erisa beauty queen.jpgNow that our ERISA Hotties Contest is over, we can opine on the nominees without injecting bias into the proceedings. So we will. Here’s our own take on the male and female nominees for hottest ERISA lawyer in America.
On the men’s side, we acknowledge Professor Bruce Wolk as a worthy winner — and the boyishly adorable Jordan Backman as a deserving runner-up.
Our personal favorite, though, is the hunky, jaw-droppingly hot Malcolm Slee. In one of his pictures, he has a refined, “model-pretty” look; but in the other pic, he exudes an irresistible, rugged manliness. Such versatility is commendable.
But Malcolm only came in fourth, with 8 percent of the vote. In our humble opinion, he wuz robbed.
If we had to pick another ERISA hunk who didn’t get as many votes as he should have, we’d go with the Solicitor of Labor, Howard Radzely. Radzely got a measly 2 percent of the vote. But consider these after-the-fact testimonials:

“Howard Radzely can ‘solicit’ me any time, day or night!”

“[Howard Radzely] has an Adam’s apple the size of Montana. So if you go for the gawky awkward teenager barely legal look, he’s your man.”

(A “gawky, awkward, barely legal” hottie? Like, say, Phil Alito?)
On the women’s side, we felt that the top two women — Sarah Downie and Jennifer Stojak — merited their high placement. But we think that more votes should have gone to Heather Meade, Jessica Janov, and Rebekah Crawford.
Heather offers up a dark, sultry, Monica-esque beauty, to all who gaze upon her visage. Lisa Rhein — a sharp contrast to Heather, but equally appealing — is a super-cute, perky blonde, straight out of a teen movie. Jessica Janov looks like she’s part of the recent Invasion of the Russian Supermodels. And Rebekah Crawford, as noted in one of her testimonials, channels the screen goddesses of Hollywood’s golden age.
But these are just our opinions. You’ve picked your winning hotties — and they are fully deserving of their titles as the hottest ERISA lawyers in the U.S. of A. Congratulations once again, Professor Wolk and Sarah Downie!

jack roberts with chief justice john roberts.jpgThe children of Supreme Court justices are a pretty impressive bunch. Consider these examples. Eugene Scalia is a prominent labor lawyer and former Solicitor of the Department of Labor. Jane Ginsburg, following her mother’s footsteps into academia, is a highly regarded law professor at Columbia. And Phil Alito — he’s a total hottie.
But we reserve a special place in our hearts for Jack Roberts, the adorable son of Chief Justice John G. Roberts. When Jack upstaged President Bush by tap dancing during the press conference announcing his father’s SCOTUS nomination, we thought to ourselves, “Gotta keep an eye on that tyke.” And now, we learn this (via the Washington Examiner):

“Let me explain the government to you. There’s God, then there’s the president and then there’s my father.”

— Jack Roberts, 6-year-old son of Chief Justice John Roberts, overheard speaking to one of his young peers on the last day of summer camp

To all you first-year law students: skip the Con Law lecture on separation of powers. L’il Jack Roberts just told you all you need to know.
Yeas and Nays: Speakeasy [Washington Examiner]