Actually, no. But Matthew Thiessen, lead singer of the Christian pop-punk band Relient K, bears a striking resemblance to Philip Alito, Justice Samuel A. Alito’s handsome college-age son.

Check out the photo montage at right. The two pictures on the left are of Phil Alito; the two pics on the right are of Matt Thiessen. Both are pale and pretty boys, with light- to reddish-brown hair, and delicate facial features.

If you STILL question the resemblance, we refer you to the music video for Relient K’s hit single, “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been” (see below). It’s a delightful song. And in the video, Thiessen — who was surely subjected to a makeover by a stylist — looks especially Alito-licious. Enjoy!

Relient K [official website]
The Alito Children: In Their Own Words [UTR]

Now that our ERISA Hotties Contest is over, we can opine on the nominees without injecting bias into the proceedings. So we will. Here’s our own take on the male and female nominees for hottest ERISA lawyer in America.

On the men’s side, we acknowledge Professor Bruce Wolk as a worthy winner — and the boyishly adorable Jordan Backman as a deserving runner-up.

Our personal favorite, though, is the hunky, jaw-droppingly hot Malcolm Slee. In one of his pictures, he has a refined, “model-pretty” look; but in the other pic, he exudes an irresistible, rugged manliness. Such versatility is commendable.

But Malcolm only came in fourth, with 8 percent of the vote. In our humble opinion, he wuz robbed.

If we had to pick another ERISA hunk who didn’t get as many votes as he should have, we’d go with the Solicitor of Labor, Howard Radzely. Radzely got a measly 2 percent of the vote. But consider these after-the-fact testimonials:

“Howard Radzely can ‘solicit’ me any time, day or night!”

“[Howard Radzely] has an Adam’s apple the size of Montana. So if you go for the gawky awkward teenager barely legal look, he’s your man.”

(A “gawky, awkward, barely legal” hottie? Like, say, Phil Alito?)

On the women’s side, we felt that the top two women — Sarah Downie and Jennifer Stojak — merited their high placement. But we think that more votes should have gone to Heather Meade, Jessica Janov, and Rebekah Crawford.

Heather offers up a dark, sultry, Monica-esque beauty, to all who gaze upon her visage. Lisa Rhein — a sharp contrast to Heather, but equally appealing — is a super-cute, perky blonde, straight out of a teen movie. Jessica Janov looks like she’s part of the recent Invasion of the Russian Supermodels. And Rebekah Crawford, as noted in one of her testimonials, channels the screen goddesses of Hollywood’s golden age.

But these are just our opinions. You’ve picked your winning hotties — and they are fully deserving of their titles as the hottest ERISA lawyers in the U.S. of A. Congratulations once again, Professor Wolk and Sarah Downie!

The children of Supreme Court justices are a pretty impressive bunch. Consider these examples. Eugene Scalia is a prominent labor lawyer and former Solicitor of the Department of Labor. Jane Ginsburg, following her mother’s footsteps into academia, is a highly regarded law professor at Columbia. And Phil Alito — he’s a total hottie.

But we reserve a special place in our hearts for Jack Roberts, the adorable son of Chief Justice John G. Roberts. When Jack upstaged President Bush by tap dancing during the press conference announcing his father’s SCOTUS nomination, we thought to ourselves, “Gotta keep an eye on that tyke.” And now, we learn this (via the Washington Examiner):

“Let me explain the government to you. There’s God, then there’s the president and then there’s my father.”

— Jack Roberts, 6-year-old son of Chief Justice John Roberts, overheard speaking to one of his young peers on the last day of summer camp

To all you first-year law students: skip the Con Law lecture on separation of powers. L’il Jack Roberts just told you all you need to know.

Yeas and Nays: Speakeasy [Washington Examiner]