Paralegal-ing is a rough gig. Paralegals tend to get the legal drudgery similar to that done by first year associates, without the six-figure paycheck. And if you're a paralegal for Richard Laminack, a titan of the Texas plaintiffs' bar, you may also be asked to receive unwanted advances, fellate expert witnesses, and help defraud clients.

The American Lawyer reports on paralegal Angela Robinson's complaint (PDF), filed against Laminack and the two firms at which she worked for him. (We have to wonder why she followed him to the second firm despite the workplace horrors. Cf. Anita Hill.)

Here's a choice excerpt, available in full after the jump:

That is certainly above and beyond the paralegal call of duty.

The website of Laminack, Pirtle & Martines says that it's their "honor and priveledge [sic]" to represent clients. And defraud them? According to Robinson's complaint, Laminack "ordered checks on non-existent medical records for Fen-Phen clients and then docked the cost of the records checks from the clients' settlement shares."

(What is it with Fen-Phen lawyers and cheating clients? The WSJ Law Blog had extensive coverage of the Kentucky attorneys accused of bilking their Fen-Phen clients out of millions.)

Robinson put up with the sexual harassment for years; she alleges she was terminated when she confronted Laminack about the Fen-Phen scheme. She wants $55,000 for wrongful termination and back pay. A longer version of the salacious bits of her complaint, after the jump.

The legal profession is populated by some colorful characters -- like our latest Lawyer of the Day, Jack Tuckner. From the New York Post:

A leading lower Manhattan women's-rights lawyer watched porn at his desk, discussed his "pierced genitalia" and wears a "slave" collar at work as part of a sadomasochistic relationship with his girlfriend, a shocking sex- harassment suit alleges.

Jack Tuckner, 50, whose law firm says it's "dedicated to the empowerment of women in the workplace," is a "self-described 'testosterone-poisoned' attorney with a penchant for bondage . . . who demeaned all of the women who worked for him," says the suit.

It was filed yesterday in Manhattan Supreme Court by former office manager Lisa Brockington.

But if the slave-collar-wearing Tuckner is the "sub" in the S&M setup, doesn't that make it okay? Isn't he the one being demeaned, rather than the one doing the demeaning?

More after the jump.

We already named Adam Kutner our Lawyer of the Day, so Richard Dienst will have to settle for a less lofty title: Alleged Groper of the Day.

We commend the fast-acting webmaster of Queller, Fisher, Dienst, Serrins, Washor & Kool. The firm website, which occupies the valuable cyber real estate of accidents.com, no longer features Dienst's bio on the Our Lawyers page.

But Dienst, one of the firm's founders, is also a name partner. Fixing that may take a little longer.

Update: Via a commenter, here is Richard Dienst's bio.

Lawyer Arrested in Groping Case [AP]

For a society that has embraced litigation and the digital age, there will soon be a new website to love, SueEasy.com. It's like Match.com for lawyers and litigants.

The site promises to revolutionize legal service. There are three easy steps:

1. Register your case.
2. View attorney responses.
3. Choose an attorney.
4. Instant legal bliss.

We are not making step four up. "Instant legal bliss" sounds pretty sweet to us. These guys know how to market their stuff.

Tort reform advocates are not fans of the idea. From UPI:

Darren McKinney, spokesman for the American Tort Reform Association, said the site is the "latest distillation" of an attitude promoted by trial lawyers.

"It's an attitude that runs against personal responsibility and seems to promote the notion that whatever negative happens in your life somebody else can be blamed and thus sued," McKinney told Legal Newsline.

There are some interesting class action suits up on the site now. They include Hot Dog and Bun Mismatch filed by oscarmayer and Circumcised without Anybody's Consent filed by Frank OHara on behalf of one million infant boys.

Oscarmayer's complaint: "Currently buns are sold in packages of 10 but hotdogs come in packages of 8." While certainly annoying, does it really warrant a lawsuit?

Web site makes suing easy [United Press International]
SueEasy — Hey Tort Reform, This One’s For You [WSJ Law Blog]
SueEasy.com [Overlawyered]

In today's Morning Docket, we wondered about what Milberg Weiss's new name would be, now that Mel Weiss is on his way to becoming a convicted felon. The answer came more quickly than expected. From the WSJ Law Blog:

The firm formerly known as Milberg Weiss Bershad & Shulman LLP, then Milberg Weiss Bershad LLP, then Milberg Weiss LLP, will now be known just as Milberg LLP. According to a Milberg insider, the name change was announced at a staff meeting this morning, at which Mel Weiss gave a speech talking about the accomplishments of the firm. The audience reportedly applauded.....

"Hey everyone, I'm going to prison for 18 to 33 months. Give me a big hand!"

The WSJ reported this morning that Mel Weiss has struck a deal to agree to plead guilty in a case alleging improper kickbacks. Other former name partners David Bershad and Steven Schulman had previously pleaded guilty in the case.

The beauty of naming the firm after Larry Milberg? He dead.

More Milberg Weiss coverage, including a statement from Mel Weiss, at the WSJ Law Blog.

Introducing . . . Milberg LLP [WSJ Law Blog]

As recently mentioned in these pages, the internal slogan of the post-merger Locke Lord Bissell & Liddell is "One Firm, One Future."

Some firms, however, take the opposite view. We've just discovered a Southern California boutique whose motto might as well be "Two Firms for the Price of One." Or maybe "Corporate Work and Plaintiffs' Work: Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together." A tipster tells us:

My friend just interviewed at a place called Zuber & Taillieu in Los Angeles. You know, Olivier Taillieu -- the guy who filed suit on behalf of the frat boys from Borat....

Ah yes, we do recall. Look back at this post. Engaging in Gallion & Spielvogel-esque self-promotion, Olivier Taillieu described himself as follows: "[Olivier clerked] for the Honorable A. Wallace Tashima on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, one of the most prestigious and sought-after clerkships in the country. Following his clerkships, he entered private practice as a litigator in the Intellectual Property and Technology Department in the Los Angeles office of O’Melveny & Myers, LLP, one of the top 15 law firms in the country as ranked by revenue by The American Lawyer."

Back to our source:

Well, get this. What that firm doesn't announce on their "corporate" website is that they have an evil twin: a plaintiffs' side alter ego, called ZT Personal Injury Law Group. Exact same attorneys, but this time, you can call them at 1-866-SUE-2-WIN. Pay particular attention to the language about penises and vaginas on the firm's Child Molestation page.

It looks like this "O'Melveny spinoff" isn't doing QUITE the same caliber work as they'd have you believe...

Indeed. We checked out that "Child Molestation Law" page, which features such lovely words as "vagina," "rectum," and "penile penetration" -- not your standard law firm website fare. Here's an excerpt:

If someone you know is a victim of sexual abuse, contact one of our child molestation attorneys today to find out what ZT Personal Injury Law Group can do for you. We offer a FREE consultation, and we don't get paid unless you win!

Well, look on the bright side: at least these ex-OMM lawyers are doing well for themselves. They're hiring more lawyers and expanding their firm -- which is more than can be said for the O'Melveny mother ship, with its rumored layoffs.

Update: As some commenters remind us, Olivier Taillieu was a contestant on that short-lived reality TV show, The Law Firm.

Zuber & Taillieu LLP [official website]
ZT Personal Injury Law Group [official website]
The Law Firm [Wikipedia]

Earlier: Still More About Borat

Last week, our friends over at the WSJ Law Blog asked: "Why do 'trial lawyers' have such a bad name?"

One possible answer: Because they abandon their brides at the altar. From the Miami Herald:

Walk-away groom: Jim Ferraro, multimillionaire trial lawyer.

Ferraro, set to marry prominent real estate broker Patricia Delinois on Friday in a formal ceremony at Fisher Island's Vanderbilt Mansion, jilted her -- at the altar -- as they were about to exchange vows before 75 to 80 guests....

After five years of dating, the couple were to finally tie the knot. But, says Ferraro: 'When it was time to say `I do,' I just said, 'I love her but I just can't do this.' '' He walked away, flanked by sons James, 21, Andrew, 18, and daughter Alexis, 14.

The audience gasped. Delinois' sister, Ingrid Long, told off Ferraro -- loudly. Some say she yelled, ''You dog!'' Not so, Long says. ``I called him a snake. I think I even called him a few other things. I was trying very hard not to curse, but I think a few curse words came out.''

Says Ferraro: ``It was dramatic.''

Trial lawyers can be such drama queens. Maybe they get addicted to making audiences gasp -- you know, that whole "Perry Mason" thing. It appears that finances weren't behind the cancellation:

The issue, [Ferraro] says, was not money. ''We did have a prenup.'' She is CEO of Century 21 Premier Elite Realty. He has law offices in Miami and Cleveland, owns the Cleveland Gladiators arena football team, has a private jet, and built a 21,000-square-foot compound in Martha's Vineyard -- with 14 bedrooms, tennis court, basketball court, nine-hole putting green, movie theater, and weight and cardio gyms.

This time, Ferraro figures, their romance is done for good. ``She probably doesn't ever want to talk to me again.''

Power couple's wedding ends with `I don't' [Miami Herald]
Why Do “Trial Lawyers” Have Such a Bad Name? [WSJ Law Blog]

The ethical rules governing advertising by lawyers are designed in large part to protect the public from misleading pitches. But maybe it's the lawyers who need protecting -- from themselves.

If these lawyers scratch themselves inappropriately during meetings, or hog the cold cuts at lunch, don't say they didn't warn you.

Magilla Gorilla, Esq. [copyranter]

Earlier: Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My -- Is It a Law Firm Ad Campaign?

That's the conclusion suggested by this Houston Chronicle article, about the most fabulous law firm holiday parties thrown in that city.

In New York, the biggest and best law firm parties tend to be thrown by the biggest and best law firms. But they do things differently down in Texas, Land of the Plaintiffs' Lawyers. From Mary Flood's quite interesting article:

A random survey of about 100 Houston lawyers showed these to be the six hottest legal party tickets this holiday season:

• litigation firm Susman Godfrey's art-studded office reception;
• plaintiffs lawyer Richard Mithoff's traditional classy soiree;
• plaintiffs lawyer Mark Lanier's family-friendly extravaganza;
• plaintiffs lawyer John O'Quinn's sparkling gala;
• Abraham, Watkins, Nichols, Sorrels & Friend's crowded office open house;
• defense lawyer David Beck's high-quality in-home affair.

More excerpts and discussion, after the jump.

Yesterday the FBI executed a search warrant on the Scruggs Law Firm in Oxford, Mississippi -- the shop of high-flying plaintiffs' lawyer Dickie Scruggs. It wasn't immediately clear what investigation the search was related to. Here's some commentary on the situation that we enjoyed, from David Rossmiller (in brackets, following excerpt from news article):

"This is a surprise to everybody connected to the Scruggs Firm," [lawyer Joey] Langston said, "but I've got to tell you people who are very high profile and very successful have to contend with unpleasantries and this is unpleasant, but we'll contend with it."

[I like the touch of noblesse oblige here -- as if the FBI descending on one's place of business is the same as, say, getting heckled by drunken lumpenproletariat while showing up in top hat and tails to receive an award for charitable giving.]

Now we have a better idea of what the office search was probably about. From the Mississippi Clarion-Ledger:

Multimillionaire trial lawyer Dickie Scruggs has been indicted on charges of conspiring to bribe a judge in the case involving $26.5-million in attorney fees involving Katrina claims....

According to the indictment, Lafayette County Circuit Judge Henry Lackey cooperated with the FBI in the investigation after reporting a bribery overture to authorities.

According to the indictment, Scruggs and others tried to influence Lackey by giving him $40,000 in cash to resolve the attorney fees’ dispute in favor of Scruggs’ law firm. Some of the conversations between Balducci and Lackey were captured on tape.

An interesting observation, from the WSJ Law Blog:

Down in Mississippi, there has been speculation of a connection between the FBI search warrant and this week’s surprise resignation of Sen. Trent Lott (R-MS), Scruggs’s brother-in-law. Lott’s office told the Sun Herald the two events were but a mere coincidence.

Because, you know, it's so much better to have people think you stepped down because of a gay sex scandal, as opposed to your brother-in-law's indictment.

(For the record, the rumors about Sen. Lott and the gay sex scandal appear to be unfounded. See HuffPo and Wonkette -- two sites that would, of course, love for the rumors to be true.)

Scruggs arrested on bribery charges [Clarion-Ledger]
More on FBI search of Scruggs' law offices [Insurance Coverage Law Blog]
Dickie Scruggs Indicted On Federal Bribery Charges [WSJ Law Blog]

* How much will various law-related search terms cost you on Google? Adam Liptak has collected some interesting examples: "Asbestos attorney" = $51.68, "Pro bono lawyer” = $2.89. [NYT via WSJ Law Blog]

* Another day, another Republican politician in a gay sex scandal. [Green Bay Press-Gazette]

* Not law-related, but interesting to those who follow the blogosphere: Vanessa Grigoriadis's detailed profile of Gawker Media. [New York Magazine]

* Blawg Review #130, presented on two attorney/mediator law blogs -- a Southern Hemisphere edition from New Zealand, and a Northern Hemisphere edition from the USA -- recognizes Blog Action Day and International Conflict Resolution Day. [mediator blah... blah... and Online Guide to Mediation, via Blawg Review]

Even when they're not getting indicted or pleading guilty, high-profile plaintiffs' lawyers can still entertain us with their antics. From Walter Olson, over at Overlawyered:

Looks as if the legal tactics of one politically ambitious Texas plaintiff's lawyer may have blown up in his face:

"Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Mikal Watts of San Antonio once tried to pressure a legal opponent into a $60 million personal injury lawsuit settlement by claiming he would have an advantage on appeal because of his firm's 'heavy' campaign financial support to an appellate court's justices, 'all of whom are good Democrats.'

Guess Brad Schlozman isn't the only arbiter of "good"-ness. Anyway, back to Watts:

A "nine-page letter Watts wrote to opposing counsel in 2001 apparently was intended to make an out-of-state corporation think the donations could sway" the 13th Court of Appeals in Corpus Christi. The letter was sent to a defense lawyer representing American Electric Power in an auto-accident case. "Politely put, south Texas venue by itself makes this a very dangerous lawsuit," Watts wrote.

We commend Mikal Watts for his candor. Why should walking into a south Texas courtroom be a trap for the unwary?

Furor over Mikal Watts "judges owe us" letter [Overlawyered]

* Didn't they just execute somebody with an electric chair? And this is what gets them in trouble with the Constitution? [Jurist]

* Mel Weiss to be indicted. [New York Times]

* Oh, Al Sharpton, you're incorrigible. [CNN]

* Judge withdraws jury instruction in Spector case; has he set up an easy appeal if there's a conviction? [CNN]

In case you missed this story from last week, here's a recap. Earlier this month, a plaintiffs' lawyer in Montana by the name of William Managhan sent out the following email, to the entire Montana Trial Lawyers Association:

From: William L. Managhan
To: Montana Trial Lawyers
Sent: Sunday, September 09, 2007 6:32 PM
Subject: [mtla_members_all] Firm Name Change

Managhan & Kortum-Managhan Law Firm will no longer be known as such. The name is returning to Managhan Law Firm as Santana Kortum-Managhan is leaving the firm. Turns out that she was having sex with Tim McKeon of Anaconda while attending MMLP hearings in Helena.

Call me silly but I no longer fill [sic] comfortable with her as my law partner or wife. Some will think this is an inappropriate announcement, but considering the small legal community in our state, I might as well preempt the roomer mill [sic]. Please address communication to William L. Managhan through Managhan Law Firm.

More discussion, including accounts of our telephone conversations with Bobbi Bonnington and Tim of Anaconda, after the jump.

We reminded you on Friday, but we fear our post got lost in the shuffle. If you're part of the plaintiff class in the Bar/Bri class action -- and since you're reading ATL, you probably are -- then the deadline for filing your proof of claim is this Monday, September 17. So if you want your $125 or so, you need to act now.

Is the settlement a good deal? We largely agree with this commenter:

That settlement is a disgrace. The plaintiff class was sold up the river.... But I’ll take the money and run.

Just like most of you (see poll results), we filed a claim, knowing that we're being undercompensated. And knowing that we're acting against the advice of The Legal Diva -- a named plaintiff in the case who now opposes the settlement. From The Recorder:

Loredana Nesci, a 2005 graduate of Quinnipiac College School of Law in Connecticut, said lead attorney Eliot Disner initially convinced her he'd built a strong case against BAR/BRI and would seek to break the company apart. "We were promised the moon and stars by Disner," she said.

But Nesci said everything changed after Disner's former firm — Los Angeles' Van Etten Suzumoto & Becket — was acquired by McGuireWoods.

"After that merger, I think that McGuireWoods took Eliot, gagged him [and now] he's in a basement in their firm, because I can't find the guy," said Nesci, now a practicing attorney based in Studio City.

It seems that the Legal Diva -- er, Ms. Nesci -- was right about Disner. Her "gagged in a basement" comment appeared in a February 2007 article. A few months later, in May 2007, Eliot Disner was fired by McGuireWoods (after he criticized the settlement).

For more on her Diva-ness, check out her website, which is a real trip. Her bio describes her past work as a police officer for the LAPD, explains how she earned the title of "Legal Diva," and boasts of how she was "quickly gaining notoriety for being a colorful and cunning attorney." It also mentions that she "enjoys working with feral cats," which sounds apropos for a Legal Diva. MEOW!

(See especially the super-cute testimonials from her clients, including Doug Smith, at right. We don't want to know what types of matters she handled for him....)

Bar/BRI Class Action Litigation [official website]
The Legal Diva: Loredana Nesci [official website]
$49M Disappoints Some in Lawyers' Class [The Recorder]

Earlier: A Friendly Reminder: The BAR/BRI Proof of Claim Deadline Is Monday!

Attention young lawyers. We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this important announcement:

If you purchased a bar review course from BAR/BRI anywhere in the United States anytime from August, 1997 through July 31, 2006 (the “Class”), you may be affected by a settlement of a class action lawsuit pending in the United States District Court for the Central District of California called Rodriguez, et. al v. West Publishing Corp., d/b/a BAR/BRI, and Kaplan, Inc., Case No. CV-05-3222 R (MCx).

Okay, you already knew about that -- and we wrote about it before too. But here's the important part: the deadline for filing a Proof of Claim is this coming Monday, September 17, 2007. So if you chucked that form into a big "to deal with later" pile, just like we did, you need to fish it out over the weekend.

More discussion, after the jump.

A fantastic and hilarious email, announcing a name change for a Montana law firm, has been making the rounds. We'd like to reprint it here, but we'll refrain for now. Instead, read the email and commentary on it here and here.

We have no reason to question the authenticity of the email (which apparently went out to the entire membership of the Montana Trial Lawyers Association). But we haven't verified it definitively either. And we'd like to give William Managhan and Santana Kortum-Managhan the chance to comment, given the salacious nature of the material. How do they fill about all the roomers?

Accordingly, we have phone calls and emails in to the Managhan Law Firm (whose typo-laden website still identifies it as the "Managhan & Kortum-Managhan Law Firm"). We will let you know if and when we hear back from them.

Update (7 PM): We have been communicating with Bobbi Bonnington via email. We hope to have more information for you soon.

A comedic tidbit...courtesy of Montana [The Amateur Law Professor]
Firm Name Change [The Legal Scoop]

As you know, we've been doing a series of fall recruiting open threads on the Vault 100 law firms -- which, of course, tend to represent large corporate defendants in litigation matters.

But lately plaintiffs' firms have been on our mind. Like Hewes & Associates, the fictional firm headed by Glenn Close in the new FX show, Damages. Or Lerach Coughlin Stoia Geller Rudman & Robbins -- which will drop "Lerach" from its name as of August 31st, after the departure of the colorful and controversial Bill Lerach (whose over-the-top farewell message can be accessed here).

We're not alone in thinking about plaintiffs' lawyers. The crew over at Illegal Briefs sent in this request:

We've been enjoying your recent recruiting posts/threads. We'd be curious to read about folks' take on plaintiff-side recruiting and work experiences.

We're curious too. To kick things off, here are some questions:

1. What are associate salaries (and bonuses) like at the big plaintiffs' firms, like Lerach Coughlin or Milberg Weiss?

2. Law students (a) want to make money, so they can pay off their student loans, and (b) generally have liberal or left-of-center political views. So why do they all go trooping off to firms that defend big corporations? Why not do plaintiffs' work, where they can stand up for "the little guy" -- and make good money, too?

And, from a different reader, an inquiry about another ATL favorite subject:

You should consider including in your updated clerkship bonus coverage the bonuses being paid by a large plaintiff firm such as Lerach. It would be interesting to see if they are matching their corporate adversaries.

So, does anyone have information or opinions to share on plaintiffs' firms? If so, please do so in the comments. Thanks.

Bill Lerach To Resign August 31 [WSJ Law Blog]
Lerach’s Departure Memo [WSJ Law Blog]

Actually, this is a two-for-one. We can also get a Benchslap of the Day out of this item. From the Miami Herald:

Prominent attorney Hank Adorno -- already under Florida Bar investigation for his role in Miami's fire-fee scandal -- on Wednesday was blasted by the Third District Court of Appeal for what the judges called his ''reprehensible conduct'' in the now infamous case.

In a unanimous opinion that upheld a lower-court decision invalidating Miami's $7 million fire-fee settlement with just seven people, the appeals court ripped into Adorno, who had represented the so-called ''lucky seven.'' The Adorno & Yoss firm stood to earn a $2 million share of the $7 million payout, while some 80,000 taxpayers got nothing.

Huh? How did that almost come to pass?

More discussion, plus the benchslap-worthy language from the court's opinion, after the jump.

If you're looking for something to do in an hour and a half, why not check out the new legal thriller on FX, Damages?

This new television series stars Glenn Close, whom we have worshiped ever since Fatal Attraction. We love a strong woman, who knows exactly what she wants -- and will stop at nothing to get it.

The litigatrix role that Glenn Close plays in Damages has some similarities to Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction. Here's the show's synopsis:

DAMAGES is a legal thriller set in the world of New York City high-stakes litigation. The series, which provides a view into the true nature of power and success, follows the turbulent lives of Patty Hewes (Glenn Close) the nation's most revered and reviled high-stakes litigator and her bright, ambitious protégé Ellen Parsons (Rose Byrne) as they become embroiled in a class action lawsuit targeting the allegedly corrupt Arthur Frobisher (Ted Danson), one of the country’s wealthiest CEOs.

As Patty battles with Frobisher and his attorney Ray Fiske (Željko Ivanek), Ellen Parsons will be front and center, witnessing just what it takes to win at all costs, as it quickly becomes clear that lives, as well as fortunes, may be at stake.

Tonight's episode is the third installment of the series. Some thoughts on the first two episodes, from two readers and from us, appear after the jump.