A teenage girl has filed a lawsuit against Harrison, N.Y. police officers for violating her civil rights. According to the complaint, the police came to arrest the girl's boyfriend for marijuana possession. While conducting a search of the house, they got overly friendly with the girl during her patdown, seized her sex tape, and played with her anal beads.

The Smoking Gun has the filed complaint along with the story. We've added some line breaks for your reading pleasure:

The girl claims that police watched the video in her presence "while laughing," and that they put a camcorder in her face and "mockingly" asked her questions about the explicit video as it played. She also alleges that a Harrison detective told her, "I should beat your ass for this. I hope your parents beat your ass."

The teenager claims that the investigator also retrieved anal beads from a bedroom, put them in her face, and asked, "What do you do with these -- put them in your mouth?"

The girl charges that cops subsequently played the video "sufficiently close to the cell in which the boyfriend was incarcerated so that he could hear the audio component of the video," and that they laughed about the video and made "repeated references by name to his girlfriend as she was depicted on the video."

She also contends that the Harrison officers "thereafter played the video for other members of the department to watch for their amusement, sexual gratification, and to further degrade Plaintiff."

Yet another reason not to make a sex tape.

We might have left the little anecdote about the anal beads out of the complaint. That's just plain embarrassing.

Girl Sues Cops Over Sex Tape "Screening" [Smoking Gun via Drudge]

Dan Slater at the WSJ Law Blog posted on an interesting First Amendment case about a state trooper's involvement with the KKK. The trooper was subsequently fired, and now he's arguing for his job back:

In 2004, Robert Henderson, then a state trooper in Nebraska, joined an organization called the Knights Party after his wife left him for a hispanic man. The Knights Party is an affiliate of the Ku Klux Klan. In 2006, following a state patrol disciplinary hearing in which Henderson told the investigator he joined the Knights Party to vent his frustration, he was fired from the force. An arbitrator then overturned Henderson’s firing, saying that it violated his First Amednment rights. Nebraska’s Attorney General, John Bruning, then appealed that decision and won in a lower Nebraska State Court. Yesterday, Henderson and his lawyer, Vincent Valentino, appealed to Nebraska’s Supreme Court to have Henderson reinstated.

At the link, Slater delivers a great summary of the relevant law, courtesy of Stanford con law Professor Derek Shaffer.

State Trooper, Fired for Associating with KKK, Argues for Job Back [WSJ Law Blog]

* New accounting rules for M&A. [DealBook]

* Lilly contemplates $1 billion payment to settle civil and criminal investigations relating to its marketing of Zyprexa. [New York Times]

* NYPD officer accused of pimping child. [MSNBC]

* Ex-priest jailed for murder via exorcism. [CNN]

* Indiana man arrested for making his own crosswalk. [The Indy Channel]

* Nader takes steps toward another run for the presidency in 2008. [Bloomberg]

Obesity isn't just a problem for Biglaw lawyers who don't get to the gym enough. From the New York Post:

He weighs more than 500 pounds, but that wasn't enough to tip the scales of justice for ex-cop Paul Soto.

The rotund retiree lost his legal argument that it was a line-of-duty fall outside a doctor's office that cost him his NYPD career. A judge says it was actually his "morbid obesity."

"There's no dispute that [Soto] is physically incapable of performing his duties as a police officer. He is morbidly obese, suffers from narcolepsy and is hypertensive," Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Judith Gische wrote in her decision made public yesterday.

Apparently the physical vigor of being a cop doesn't always keep off the pounds:

When Soto joined the force in 1993, Gische found, he weighed approximately 250 pounds. He is now 40, 5-foot-7 and over 500 pounds.

A former colleague at the 6th Precinct said Soto's gun belt was an incredible 6 feet long, and his bosses would order him to take walks around the stationhouse for his own good. They would also have other officers shadow him to make sure he didn't pick up food along the way, he said.

It's a good thing Soto doesn't work at a law firm, where office-wide emails about extra sandwiches left in conference rooms make the rounds daily.

He's Biiig Blue [New York Post via Drudge]

The headlines say it all, over at the Drudge Report:

We previously wrote about the incident here. The report exonerating the officers is not flattering to the tased bro, Andrew Meyer:

In the 17-page summary of the report, FDLE said it spoke with several witnesses who said that days before the event Meyer vowed to put on ''a show'' at the Kerry event.

According to the report, during a Sept. 11 Gators for Rudy [Giuliani] rally, Meyer got into an argument with another student and told a friend that ``if he liked what he had seen that he should go to the Kerry speech and he would really see a show.''

In addition, the report said that after his arrest, when Meyer was out of view of the cameras, he told officers that they did not do anything wrong and then asked ``if cameras will be at the jail.''

UF police cleared in 'Don't Tase me, Bro' case [Miami Herald]
President Machen comments on FDLE review of student arrest [University of Florida]
Andrew Meyer [official website]

Earlier: Sadly, John Kerry Wasn't Tasered (But He Could Have Used the Electricity)

It seems that the family of this woman may have a stronger cause of action than Andrew Meyer:

A Clay County woman's family said it's seeking justice after their loved one died shortly after being shocked 10 times with Taser guns during a confrontation with police.

The family of 56-year-old Emily Delafield said it would take the Green Cove Springs Police Department to court, according to a WJXT-TV report....

Family attorney Rick Alexander said Delafield's death could have been prevented and that there are four things that jump out at him about the case.

"One, she's in a wheelchair. Two, she's schizophrenic. Three, they're using a Taser on a person that's in a wheelchair, and then four is that they tasered her 10 times for a period of like two minutes," Alexander said.

That may have been a bit much.

Wheelchair-Bound Woman Dies After Being Shocked With Taser 10 Times [Local6.com via Drudge]

Earlier: Sadly, John Kerry Wasn't Tasered (But He Could Have Used the Electricity)

We're suckers for taser gun stories. Like this one, from the AP:

A University of Florida student was Tasered and arrested after trying angrily and repeatedly to ask U.S. Senator John Kerry about the 2004 election and other subjects during a campus forum....

Videos of Monday's incident posted on several Web sites show officers pulling Andrew Meyer, 21, away from the microphone after he asks Kerry about impeaching President Bush and whether he and Bush were both members of the secret society Skull and Bones at Yale University.

"He apparently asked several questions he went on for quite awhile then he was asked to stop," university spokesman Steve Orlando said. "He had used his allotted time. His microphone was cut off, then he became upset."

More discussion, plus video, after the jump.

* We'll probably have more to say about this one later. For now: WOW. Tell us how you really feel, John Koppel! [Denver Post]

* What kind of tree would you be? The kind that robs banks. [AP]

* Don't mess with the police -- even if you're an old lady charged with not watering your lawn. [KSL.com via Drudge Report]

* Laying the groundwork for the Twinkie defense? [New York Times]

* Nothing to do with the law yet, but surely that will change. Any news this baaad generates litigation. [Marin Independent Journal]

Update: With respect to the first link, in case you'd like to know more about John Koppel, check out his wedding announcement.

* When the backdrops for crazy shootings tend to be God-forsaken backwaters (or suburbs), it's reassuring to know that New York City is still home to plenty of wackjobs. [Gawker; Village Voice; Braunstein recap here]

* I love it when a guy makes good on the "You can't make me!" threat. [QuizLaw; The Smoking Gun]

* Silly little lawsuits do not suit hip hop. Bring back the thuggery, I say. [All HipHop News]

* The CHiPs guys would never do this, but things are different down South. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* He's short, a biter and, in all likelihood, soon to be single--single line, girls. [CNN]

Several commenters drew our attention to the Supreme Court's quasi-amusing decision today in Los Angeles County v. Rettele (PDF). We also received reader email about it:

"In the per curiam opinion in LA County v. Retelle (PDF), we get a nice discussion of racial harmony in the context of naked white people being awakened early in the morning by cops executing a search warrant on a house that was previously owned by black criminal suspects."

From the Court's unsigned opinion, joined by seven justices:

"Because respondents were of a different race than the suspects the deputies were seeking, the Court of Appeals held that '[a]fter taking one look at [respondents], the deputies should have realized that [respondents] were not the subjects of the search warrant and did not pose a threat to the deputies' safety.' We need not pause long in rejecting this unsound proposition."

"When the deputies ordered respondents from their bed, they had no way of knowing whether the African-American suspects were elsewhere in the house. The presence of some Caucasians in the residence did not eliminate the possibility that the suspects lived there as well. As the deputies stated in their affidavits, it is not uncommon in our society for people of different races to live together. Just as people of different races live and work together, so too might they engage in joint criminal activity. The deputies, who were searching a house where they believed a suspect might be armed, possessed authority to secure the premises before deciding whether to continue with the search."

The SCOTUS reverses the Ninth Circuit? Happens multiple times each Term. Boring.

The SCOTUS summarily reverses the Ninth Circuit, in a per curiam opinion? Happens a few times each Term. Uninteresting.

The Supreme Court benchslaps the Ninth Circuit, for not being politically correct enough? PRICELESS.

(For more substantive analysis of Rettele, check out this post, by Orin Kerr.)

Los Angeles County v. Rettele [U.S. Supreme Court (PDF)]
Supreme Court Reverses Ninth Circuit in Out-of-Bed-Naked Search Warrant Case [Volokh Conspiracy via SCOTUSblog]

* The headline screams "Britney!" But, in fact, this plaintiff was not wearing too-long jeans and fleeing the press -- he was tasered. [Houston Chronicle]

* In my college days, this kind of activity was confined to private study booths known as "weenie bins." We respected the books. [AP via Yahoo! News]

* Are royalties drying up, or is this (PDF) a legit lawsuit? [Los Angeles Times]

* Is teamwork encouraged in law school? Well, there is no "I" in team, but there sure is one in "Order of the Coif." [Law School Innovation]

* Would it be a violation of civil liberties if a tracking device were inserted in these videos? [MSNBC]

* The most atrocious example of uncivil campus behavior to me? Loud coitus. We can hear you, even when it doesn't take place in the library. [Balkinization]

* In her defense, this fraudster probably spared another inmate from a night or two of uninvited Oz love. [AP via Yahoo!]

* With the holidays upon us, and the office holiday parties behind us, here's a cautionary tale that thankfully does not end with our young DA screaming, "Don't you know who I am? You wouldn't dare arrest Sam Waterston!" [New York Post]

* Caroling would only make sense if your neighbors are Clive Davis, Timbaland, Phil Spector or maybe Simon Cowell. [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

* And one last example of how the holidays are tarnished by some dubious judgment. But with the prospect of a succulent-tasting bird, can you blame management? [Washington Post]

* In Breathless, Michel (played by Jean-Paul Belmondo) remarks that the women of Sweden, despite their reputation, are pretty much like women everywhere: there are indeed many pretty ones, but most are plain or ugly. So you can understand why these two busted Swedish cops kept records of the former. [AP via MSNBC]

* Harold and Maude, the sequel -- but even creepier. [PhillyBurbs.com]

* Justice really rained on this guy’s parade. [Greenville Online]

* Girls, what do you think position 13 is? (Yeah, you should watch this until the punchline.) [De Novo]

* I once innocently ordered a Strawberry Tsunami at Jamba Juice just days after the December 2004 tsunami. I’m dumb that way. Anyway, this smoothie has long been taken off the menu, but you should still proceed with caution when ordering anything with strawberries. [Los Angeles Times]

* I can’t help but use the phrase, “Who’s your Daddy?” whenever I can do so in total earnestness. [People]

Yet another sign that reality television has gone too, too far:

City leaders have apologized after a program on Tempe's cable channel showed a white police officer telling two black men they could get out of a littering ticket by performing a rap....

[After pulling the car over,] the officer then tells the men that they can avoid getting a littering ticket "if the two of you just do a little rap about — what do you want to do a rap about? Littering? About the dangers of littering."

The two men agree, and each performs a short rap, laughing afterward. One says, "The dangers of littering, you will get a ticket. If you ain't wit' it, you better be experienced."

The second man raps, "Yo, I just got pulled over 'cause I threw my trash out the window when they rolled over. They got behind me and pulled me over."

They got out of the ticket. But query whether they should have been fined for their mediocre rapping.

The cop also pulled over an Asian woman for making an illegal turn. He told her she could get out of a ticket by being a bad driver.

Arizona cop had black men rap away ticket [Associated Press via Drudge Report]

* For you law review nerds out there, some direction as to the citation of new species of sources. But *sigh* you probably already know all of this. [Slaw.ca]

* Law students bring logic and order to child-bearing... It’s a shame that we have to forego all that spontaneity and excitement of unplanned pregnancies. (Like what 2L Tamina must have felt when she had her first of two kids in her late teens.) [Law.com]

* An Ohio woman litters by tossing bags of McDonald’s out her window, then invokes the Fast Food Nation defense -- to no avail. [Tribune Chronicle]

* An Indian thief seizes the day -- what’s money if you can’t spend it? [Reuters]

When you patronize other fast food establishments, you could be taking your life into your own hands. And we're not talking about transfats and the adverse health consequences of eating fast food (which have already spawned various lawsuits).

Take Taco Bell. Just like Burger King, they stand accused of serving drug-laced food:

Phillip Dagget, 27, said he bought several tacos from the drive-through window at the Taco Bell on Mariano Bishop Boulevard Saturday night. About an hour after he ate them, he started to feel "light-headed" and experienced "some (stomach) cramping," he said yesterday.

Another half-hour later, his illness intensified, so he retrieved a half-eaten taco from the trash and noticed "a white, powdery substance on it," he said.

Drop the chalupa, indeed! Law enforcement is investigating.

Also like Burger King, outlets of Taco Bell have recently hosted eruptions of gunfire (albeit accidental). And armed robbery.

Oh, and there's this:

Drive-thru service is available on the north side of the Taco Bell restaurant at 3302 E. Main St. [in Richmond, IN]. But shortly after 1 p.m. today, a white sedan made it “drive-in” service on the south side of the building. The car crashed into the entry doors and hit an interior wall before stopping.

Make a run for the border -- and away from your nearest Taco Bell.

Complaint has police thinking outside the bun [The Standard-Times via SouthCoastToday.com]
Gunfire Erupts At Local Taco Bell [NBC13.com (Birmingham / Tuscaloosa)]
Police seek Taco Bell robber [Jackson Sun]
No one hurt when car slams into Taco Bell [Richmond Palladium-Item]

Earlier: Burger King: Vector for Criminality
Lawsuit of the Day: "Have It Your Way," Indeed

No, definitely not. Due to their variegated hair and eye color, white people have the best claim to internal diversity in appearance.

But these two white people DO look alike:

As a result, this screw-up -- while mortifying and GI-normous -- is somewhat understandable:

“We are horribly sorry,” the cop said. The 17-year-old girl who was wrongly locked in jail for seven days might be feeling terribly lucky.

Amanda Sylvester might still be in jail, facing criminal charges that included aiding and abetting a robbery [of a Kwik Stop convenience store], were it not for an anonymous tip to a Crimestopper hotline....

A week later, the Crimestopper tip led to the arrest of Kayce Schildhauer, 19, of North Platte.

Pretty bad. But hey, it could be worse. Remember this story?

Innocent Girl Held A Week In North Platte Jail [North Platte Bulletin]

(Gavel Bang: Drudge Report (of course, 'cause Matt's a sucker for s*** like this))

Back when we worked at McDonald's, customers would ask us if we sold onion rings. We would tell them, with suppressed exasperation, that no, sorry, we don't. If you want onion rings, try Burger King.

And if you want your food laced with pot, try Burger King, too. From the AP:

Two police officers sued Burger King Corp., claiming they were served hamburgers that had been sprinkled with marijuana.

The lawsuit says Mark Landavazo and Henry Gabaldon, officers for the Isleta Pueblo tribal police, were in uniform and riding in a marked patrol car when they bought meals at the drive-through lane October 8 of a Burger King restaurant in Los Lunas, New Mexico.

The officers ate about half of their burgers before discovering marijuana on the meat, the lawsuit said. They used a field test kit to confirm the substance was pot, then went to a hospital for medical evaluations.

We'll give the last word to the officers' pleasingly glib lawyer, Sam Bregman: "It gives a whole new meaning to the word 'Whopper.'"

Suit: Burger King served pot burgers to cops [CNN]

This hasn't turned into a lawsuit -- yet. But we can see one coming from a mile away. And local law enforcement did get involved.

So it's appropriate fodder for Above the Law. Here's the story:

You can lift, strain, crunch and sweat all you want at the Planet Fitness in the Dutchess County village. But whatever you do, do not grunt.

Yep, "NO GRUNTING." It says so, in black and white, on a sign posted at the gym. One former member learned the new rule the hard way.

"This is really absurd, especially the part about the grunting," said Al Argibay, a corrections officer who learned first-hand "no grunting" means exactly that.

A corrections officer who likes to grunt? Color us surprised.

Argibay said he was at a multi-press station, getting ready to squat about 500 pounds, when the forbidden sin happened. "I let out a grunt, squatted down, back up, grunt again. That's it," explained Argibay. "Basically, grunt, grunt, basic breathing in heavy, and breathing out."

Grunting is commonplace at most gyms, but not Planet Fitness, which discourages so-called "musclehead behavior."

There's even a flashing light and siren on the wall, labeled a "lunk alarm," which sounds if someone grunts or drops weights on the floor.

[Gym manager Carol] Palazzolo admits she called the cops on Argibay. The Wappingers Falls police report said officers were asked to "escort a member out of the club for grunting while working out... which is not conforming with the rules of the establishment."

Calling the cops may have been an overreaction. But even though the story is written in a "Can you believe this?" tone, we're sympathetic to the gym manager's side of the argument. Exertion at the gym is all well and good. But loud, showy grunting goes too far, and interferes with the workouts of other patrons.

Update: Ann Althouse has a similar reaction.

(Other pet peeves at the gym: super-sweaty people who don't wipe down the equipment after they're done; people who use the weight machines in spastic fashion, generating loud, clanging noises with each rep; and people who hog certain machines, sitting there for minutes on end, and shooting dirty looks at anyone who approaches to ask if they might work in.)

Man Escorted From Planet Fitness Gym For Grunting [WCBS - New York via Drudge Report]