Porn Names

Two porn stars made a “bet” on Twitter that they’d perform oral sex on fans of the Miami Heat if the team won the NBA championship. I’m not sure what these ladies agreed to do if the Heat lost; I’m going to pretend that they promised to “go back to college and blow your minds,” because I like the thought of LeBron being blamed for ruining their chances at an education.

In any event, the Heat won, and the women committed to going through with their dare. They set up a website, TeamBJNBA, to promulgate the rules of their free giveaway — because if they were paid to service the fans, THAT would be wrong and illegal.

But it appears that the NBA noticed their branding. I can only imagine the kind of person who would be confused into thinking that the NBA now sponsored BJs for fans of championship teams… though if they did, I suspect interest in the league would increase exponentially. The NBA moved to stop the giveaway, but you can’t keep good girls up off their knees.

Details, pictures, silicone, and notes on how to retrieve your champion rewards to follow….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Porn Stars Offer Free BJs to Miami Heat Fans, Cause NBA Lawyers To Stand At Attention”

Our school girl is even sexier.

Ah, the high school yearbook photo. Teenage girls spend hours upon hours primping and prepping before stepping in front of the camera for the picture that will forever be remembered as their high school legacy.

And while most high school girls are worried about hiding their acne, or getting their braces removed in time for the big day, one girl in Colorado is busy worrying about whether her school will even allow her photo to be published in the 2012 yearbook.

School administrators say that her attire in her photo of choice violates the school’s dress code, but why? Probably because the photo in question features the teenager posing a bit too provocatively for a girl who just turned 18. She’s considering taking legal action against the school for trampling on her right to free expression.

So who is this mystery girl? What does her scandalous yearbook photo look like? Keep reading for pictures and video of this too-sexy-for-high-school, First Amendment freedom fighter….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sexy Teen Fights for First Amendment Freedoms Over Slutty Yearbook Photo”

One day, I’m going to law school. I think my years in the industry will make me a great lawyer. Porn has helped me there.

Aurora Snow, an award-winning adult film actress and self-described “Porn MILF”


Yesterday we wrote about a family lawyer who posed nude for Playboy. She’s the mag’s “Employee of the Month.” Here’s the Not Safe for Work (NSFW) link.

There were some questions as to whether this woman was actually a lawyer. Why would people think that? Getting naked in Playboy casting doubt on one’s legal credentials? Hogwash.

In fact, a reader has stepped forward to say that “Kimberly Kourt” (not her real name) went to a very fine law school…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “More Kimberly Kourt News for Evening Readers”

It’s common for a spouse to claim that a divorce lawyer left him with nothing but the shirt on his back. But it is the rare divorce attorney who returns the favor and takes her shirt off. We’ve extensively documented the briefs and bustline of the well-endowed Corri Fetman. But today we’ve got a divorce lawyer whose résumé isn’t quite so inflated.

(Warning: This should go without saying, but in case there is a freaking idiot out there, the next link is NSFW — Not Safe for Work.)

Meet Playboy’s “Employee of the Month” [NSFW] for July, Kimberly Kourt. Ms. Kourt — I’ll go on a diet if that’s her real name — says she’s a family lawyer, but real classy-like:

“I pride myself on always being professional and appropriate, right down to what I wear in the courtroom,” says sexy trial lawyer Kimberly Kourt. “But on my own time, sexy clothes are fair game.”

Nothing says “professional and appropriate” quite like posing for Playboy.

So, pictures or it didn’t happen….

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Cristina Schultz.jpegFor those of you considering prostitution to pay off your law school debts (you know who you are), consider the cautionary tale of Cristina Warthen. As we have previously reported, Cristina graduated from Stanford Law School in 2001. But instead of going into Biglaw, Cristina adopted the porn name “Brazil” and turned herself into a high-priced escort.
Granted, if she graduated today, Cristina might have been able to get some public interest deferral money for her “service.” But this was a long time ago.
And for a while Cristina was a smashing success. She even landed a rich husband, AskJeeves founder David Warthen.
But the Warthens were hit hard by the recession, and the couple split. Meanwhile, the government came looking for $313,000 in back taxes from Cristina’s sultry side business.
The ABA Journal reports that there is a resolution in Cristina’s case. What sentence did she get?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Closing the Door Loop On Cristina Warthen”

Lara Jade Coton pornography porn Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPGThis is from earlier in the week, but it’s worthwhile. From Consumerist:

Remember Lara, whose self-portrait was stolen from deviantART and used as the cover of a porn DVD? Yeah, she’s suing the shady pornographers. Good for Lara.

You can read the entire complaint on The Smoking Gun, but here’s the best part:

“Apparently, merely ridiculing Lara Jade was no longer satisfying so Burge [that's the pornographer] and TVX felt the need to accuse Lara Jade of “scheming,” by which Burge presumably meant to suggest that Lara Jade, a teenager in England, had intentionally allowed her creative work to be placed on the internet in the hope that it would be stolen by a pornographic video manufacturer in Texas and used as the cover of a re-packaged 1970’s era pornographic movie so she could then locate the Texas-based pornographer in the hope of extracting compensation from it. The absurdity of this notion is readily apparent.”

Lara’s lawyer is awesome.

We concur. With advocacy like this, the presumption that someone named “Lara Jade” is a porn star can be rebutted.

UPDATE (10/2010): In September 2010, Lara Jade was vindicated, when a court ruled in her favor and awarded her $130,000 in damages. Congratulations to Lara Jade and her lawyer, Richard Harrison of Allen Dell in Tampa, Florida.

Girl Whose Photo Was Stolen And Used For Porn DVD Sues [Consumerist]
Teen Sues Over XXX-Video “Debut” [The Smoking Gun] [quasi-NSFW]

collarbomb_horz.jpg* Charges coming in “collar bomb” case. [CNN]
* Size matters. And bigger isn’t always better, as the Ninth Circuit demonstrates. [Los Angeles Times]
* That’s some hardcore pwnography. [Click 2 Houston (KPRC, Houston NBC affiliate)]
* Deal reached in Libya foreign medics AIDS trial, with details to come tomorrow; Libyan Supreme Court had been expected to uphold death sentences. [Jurist]
* Facing child sex charges, but don’t want that fact to slow down your legal career? Check out the Solomon Islands. [CNN]

Oona O'Connell South Beach Miami 4 small Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPG[Thumbnail image. Click to enlarge. Photograph provided courtesy of Oona O'Connell.]
Today has been painfully slow, even for a Friday. Thankfully, we can always return to a subject that never fails to give a rise to our traffic: Oona O’Connell, the fabulously glamorous young lawyer who has graced the pages of Playboy.
Remember the ATL tipster who first informed us of Oona O’Connell? As you may recall, Ms. O’Connell was pretty pissed:

Oona O’Connell is my given name. It was the name my parents chose for me and I found it very hurtful to hear it described by your ignorant ‘tipster’ as coming from a ‘porn-name generator’.

After reading our recent email correspondence with Oona O’Connell, the tipster felt bad — and expressed his sentiments in an email.
Check out his message, after the jump.

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Oona O'Connell South Beach Miami 2 small Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPG
[Thumbnail image. Click to enlarge. Photograph courtesy of Oona O'Connell.]
There should be a law — against this kind of hotness in a U.S. law school classroom!
As you may recall, lawyer cum Playboy model Oona O’Connell was not pleased by our prior coverage of her. She recently sent us an angry email, taking us to task for publishing malicious gossip.
Our response to Oona O’Connell, followed by her reply, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “ATL’s New Pen Pal: Oona O’Connell, Lawyer Turned Playboy Model (Part 2)”

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