Porn Names

Oona O'Connell South Beach Miami 1 small Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPG
[Thumbnail image. Click to enlarge. Photograph courtesy of Oona O'Connell.]
WOW. Wouldn’t sitting next to this hottie in Torts class be just a wee bit distracting?
We rarely hear from people about whom we’ve written. This is generally a good thing.
But every now and then, one of them drops us a line. And sometimes they’re none too pleased. Like Oona O’Connell, the superhottie lawyer who posed for Playboy, as discussed back in this post.
You can read Ms. O’Connell’s email, which we reprint with her permission, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “ATL’s New Pen Pal: Oona O’Connell, Lawyer Turned Playboy Model (Part 1)”

Italia Federici hottie Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgSee here. And another one is going to prison.
Just another day here in the nation’s capital.
P.S. Best name ever for a paramour involved in a corruption case: Italia Federici.
Senate Subpoenas White House, Cheney House [Wonkette]
White House, Cheney’s Office Subpoenaed [Associated Press]
Ex-Interior Aide Is Sentenced in Lobbying Case [New York Times]

George Hunter George D Hunter Above the Law Above the Law.jpgIf Aaron Charney’s lawsuit against Sullivan & Cromwell is to be believed, some S&C lawyers think that Canadians are “irrelevant.”
Feel free to debate the relevance in Canadians in the comments. One thing that can be said for them, though, is that their lawyers have pretty good sex scandals.
From an article in the Toronto Star, by the provocatively named Tracey Tyler (who is a guy for all we know):

The former head of the governing body for Ontario lawyers has been suspended from practising for 60 days after admitting to a sexual affair with a client. George Hunter, 59, offered an emotional apology to his colleagues, family and ex-lover yesterday after pleading guilty to professional misconduct.

The irony here is too rich. Maybe all those years of administering slaps on the wrists to lawyers who improperly slept with clients got Hunter thinking, “Maybe I should give this a whirl?”[FN 1]

The relationship ended abruptly after Hunter asked X.Y. to meet him at an Ottawa restaurant, where he informed her that during the time they had been sexually involved, he had also had affairs with two other women….

In a move that might be worthy of entry in the annals of unromantic gestures, Hunter, just before disclosing those affairs, presented X.Y. with a copy of section 2.04 of the law society’s Rules of Professional Conduct.

It deals with conflicts of interest between lawyers and clients. Hunter wanted X.Y. to acknowledge that she had read it….

And THIS is why George Hunter is ATL’s Lawyer of the Day. Say what you will about Hunter, but the man was a LAWYER — to the bitter and embarrassing end.
[FN1] We say “improperly” because, as noted by the Globe and Mail, “[t]here are no professional or statutory rules in Canada which prohibit lawyers from having sexual relations with clients. [There are simply] conflict of interest codes which restrict lawyers from sexual relations with clients without informed consent and when the relationship might harm the client’s interests.”
In this case, Hunter admitted to misconduct. So there’s no claim that his affair — or the two other affairs he had while having affair #1 — were above board.
Sex with client sinks top lawyer [Toronto Star]
Ex-Law Society official suspended for affair with client [Globe & Mail]
Law Society of Upper Canada investigates former Treasurer [The Lawyers Weekly]
George D. Hunter bio [Borden Ladner Gervais]


Noah Feldman Noah R Feldman Jeannie Suk Jeannie C Suk Above the Law.JPGEarlier today, we bestowed the nickname of Noajeannie upon celebrity law professors Noah Feldman and Jeannie Suk — the Brangelina of the legal academy. But some of you backseat bloggers suggested other names for this overachieving couple, such as “Feldsuk” and “Jeannoah.”
We like “Noajeannie” for several reasons:

1. It scans exactly like “Brangelina.” Compare no-ah-JEAN-nie with bran-juh-LEE-nuh.

2. It puts his name before hers, since his star arguably shines slightly brighter than hers (although, quite obviously, both of them are amazing).

3. Celebrity nicknames tend to work best with first rather than last names. This is why “Bennifer” and “Brangelina” are superior to “Vaughniston.”

Nevertheless, we will adhere to the democratic process. Hence this poll:

What’s the best nickname for celebrity law professors Noah Feldman and Jeannie Suk?
Feldsuk
Jeannoah
Noajeannie
Sukfeld
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


One name we definitely don’t like: Sukfeld. It sounds like a pornographic version of “Seinfeld.”
(For the record, though, “Suk” is pronounced “sook” rather than “suck.” We happen to know this ’cause we went to school with Jeannie Suk’s similarly brilliant little sister, Julie Suk (now a law professor at Cardozo). Like her big sis, Julie Suk was a Marshall Scholar and a law clerk to Judge Harry Edwards (D.C. Cir.). But Julie Suk went to Harvard College and Yale Law School, whereas Jeannie Suk did the reverse: Yale College, Harvard Law School.)
P.S. Speaking of polls, if you haven’t done so already, cast your vote for your favorite First Circuit judge. We’ll close this poll tomorrow at 3 PM Eastern time. Thanks.
Earlier: Lawyerly Lairs: It’s Still Good to be Noah and Jeannie

* Solitary confinement, cruel and unusual? Cruel, perhaps, but not that unusual. [St. Petersburg Times via How Appealing]
* Florida and California decide to take a little break on the whole lethal injection thing. [CNN]
* New Jersey Legislature does what New Jersey’s Supreme Court told them to. [FindLaw]
* Mariah Carey is concerned that people might be confused and think that she is someone who uses sex to make money….oh, wait a minute… [FOX News]
* Global warming is such a nuisance. [Jurist]

9th circuit seal ninth circuit.JPGThe Ninth Circuit may be getting slapped around by the Supreme Court lately. (Yeah, what else is new.) But they continue to go about their business. Keep on truckin’, Your Honors!
One of you was kind enough to attend a recent Ninth Circuit sitting — not just any old sitting, but the one graced by that judicial celebrity, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor — and send us a detailed report.
That account of the oral argument — plus a bonus judicial sight-ation, and some added commentary from us — appears after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Eyes of the Law: A Visit to the Ninth Circuit”

Cristina Schultz.jpegAfter we briefly mentioned Cristina Leeann Schultz, a.k.a. the Stanford Law escort, in our post yesterday about the summer-associate-turned-stripper, we wondered: Whatever happened to her?
Thankfully, one of you anticipated our curiosity, did some research, and sent us this update:

[Y]ou missed the “happy ending” (hehe) to the Cristina Schultz story. AskJeeves founder and millionaire David Warthen — who has since filed an implausible claim in the forfeiture proceeding that the money is actually his — left his wife and kids and married Schultz. The forfeiture case was settled last August; court records don’t indicate the amount of the settlement, but I imagine a FOIA request (or enterprising web-journalist) might tell us something…

Very interesting — perhaps we’ll be following up on this.
For those of you who can’t get enough of Christina Schultz d/b/a “Brazil,” additional details — including racy excerpts from the government’s complaint in the forfeiture case, and a link to Cristina’s old website — appear after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Stanford Law Escort: And She Lived Happily Ever After”

erisa lawyers.jpegThis was absolutely agonizing; but after hours of deliberation, we managed to do it. We reviewed the male side of the field in our ERISA Lawyer Hotties Contest, then painstakingly winnowed it down to twelve deserving finalists. (Yes, we previously said we’d have ten finalists. But picking even a dozen, from so many worthy competitors, was nearly impossible.)

Our decisions were based on (1) photographs of the nominees, and (2) reader testimonials about them. In order to make the final cut, a nominee needed an appealing picture and a strong testimonial. We also gave priority to attorneys who work primarily on pension and employee benefit law, as opposed to ones whose practice involves the field only tangentially.

The female finalists will follow tomorrow. For now, check out the pictures and testimonials for the male finalists — and cast your vote for America’s Hottest Male ERISA Lawyer — after the jump (click on the “continue reading” link).

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “ERISA Hotties: Your Male Nominees”

richard lieb.jpgIn our post last month about the merger of Cooley Godward and Kronish Lieb, we wondered aloud: And What About Mr. Lieb? His name was unceremoniously dumped from the moniker of the new entity, which will be known as “Cooley Godward Kronish.” Ouch.

Readers have subsequently informed us of what Richard Lieb is up to these days. He can be found alive and well, teaching a full load in the Bankruptcy LLM program at St. John’s University School of Law. He also still maintains an office at the firm, where he’s a retired partner (of counsel).

It seems that the academic life agrees with Lieb, at least according to one correspondent:

[H]e puts a lot of time and attention into his courses and, based on his reputation from many years of practice, has successfully enticed numerous”‘name” bankruptcy lawyers professors and judges to come and speak to his classes. As far as I know, St. John’s is the only LLM program in bankruptcy anywhere, and Mr. Lieb still has a remarkable command of legal principles and reported case law at his fingertips.

Glad to hear it. We hope to still have command of our bowels at age 76, to say nothing of “legal principles and reported case law.”

But still, the question remains: How does Mr. Lieb feel about having his name axed post-merger? According to time-honored law firming naming principles, one would expect the post-merger entity to be called either “Cooley Kronish” (a la “WilmerHale”) or “Cooley Godward Kronish Lieb” (a la “Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman”).

Our suggestion: Just call the firm “Suri Cruise LLP.” Publicity avalanche — and massive Google traffic — guaranteed!
(That would be almost as good a firm name as our reigning favorite: Saxena White.)

Earlier: And What About Mr. Lieb?
Richard Lieb [Kronish Lieb]
Richard Lieb bio [Martindale-Hubbell]

Milberg Weiss, the plaintiffs’ class-action mill currently under federal indictment, continues its swift disintegration. Here’s the latest news:

Indicted law firm Milberg Weiss has lost another partner. Christopher Jones announced Friday he’s leaving the firm’s Boca Raton office to join Saxena White.

Right now you’re scratching your head: “Saxena White, Saxena White… Didn’t I see one of her films when I took that due diligence trip to South Dakota, and stayed in the motel with the vibrating bed?”

But no, Saxena White isn’t a porn star — it’s a law firm:

[The] firm was founded last month by former Milberg partner Maya Saxena and associate Joseph White, who left a few weeks after the firm’s May 18 indictment.

Perhaps they split off from Milberg and started their own shop to avoid criminal liability. Or maybe they wanted a shot at winning Above the Law’s first annual contest for “Law Firm That Sounds Most Like a Porn Name.”

Milberg Weiss Watch: From Four Offices to Two [WSJ Law Blog]

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