Millionaire playboy Dan Bilzerian threw a naked woman off a roof, as millionaire playboys are wont to do. Seriously, the number of naked women hurled off Gracie Mansion during the Bloomberg years defies calculation. This woman survived and made noise about suing. That sounds reasonable enough, except apparently the woman, porn star Janice Griffith, had contracted with genteel periodical Hustler to be “picked up by nature’s handlebar” and tossed off the roof into a waiting pool. That she broke her foot in the process is, from Bilzerian’s perspective, not his fault.
Nonetheless, she suggested filing suit, and Bilzerian’s lawyer responded with one of the most epically brutal takedown letters ever.
And it’s by a lawyer you all know.
So if you want to (a) see a video (appropriately blurred out) of what we’re talking about, (b) read the hilarious letter, or (c) just find out what famed lawyer is this funny, by all means click on….
‘Hey Girl, I can’t go out tonight, but maybe we can Skype.’ Chris Sevier / Model Mayhem
Our old friend Chris Sevier is back and wackier than ever. Sevier, you may recall, is the lawyer (or at least Vandy law grad) who filed suit against Apple for building a computer that let him get addicted to porn so very easily. The complaint was 50 pages long and riddled with tirades and typos. It was all good fun. In the end, the remedy Sevier sought was basically a nanny state — a hot nanny state, with a schoolgirl uniform and daddy issues.
Anyway, with marriage equality cases bubbling up across the country, it was only a matter of time before Sevier said, “Hey, I’m litigious and enjoy drafting frivolous filings about sex stuff!” And with that, he filed to intervene in Florida’s ongoing marriage equality case on the compelling argument that his rights needed to be heard.
Specifically, his right to marry the love of his life: his computer.
I’m assuming if the Florida judge allowed that, Sevier’s wedding would have to feature a toast by Apple telling everyone how the couple met.
Well, we have Sevier’s latest tour de force. Let’s take a look….
Making your way in the legal world these days is tough. We’ve seen lawyers who’ve had to turn to stripping, prostitution, and even whoring. It’s just hard to make ends meet when jobs are tight and debt’s creeping up on you.
Which is why this woman may have the right idea. She got all her stripping out of the way before law school so she could pay the bills and now she takes nude glamour shots (or at least semi-nude — she covers herself just enough) for 12 hours a week and lives the high life while still in law school. Pretty sweet deal. Her experience can be an inspiration for Belle Knox’s plan to finance law school with porn stardom.
So let’s take a closer look. And by look, I mean here are some (safe for most workplaces) pictures…
Cinemax is a premium cable network with only two missions: to show all the third-rate movies in HBO’s catalog that HBO would never want associated with the flagship network and to show softcore porn. That’s it. It has no other role.
Which is why it’s curious that an actress who signed on to play a part in a Cinemax TV series was so shocked to learn that they actually wanted her to take her clothes off and simulate sex acts while embroiled in what — I’m guessing — is some plothole-ridden murder mystery.
Anyway, she was shocked, and since this is ‘Murica, she sued and then Cinemax and its parent entities sued back with the help of a certain Biglaw firm…
Models often find themselves in awkward poses. Models whose work borders on the porn industry often find themselves in really awkward poses. The model in this story works in the latter milieu. She’s Elizabeth Dickson, and she models for Playboy. As part of this career, she shoved a golf tee in her tail.
* Spring break is here for many students, and I know what they’re all thinking: what are the tax implications? [TaxProf Blog]
* Man files suit because his adult son is addicted to video games. Well, with games like South Park: Stick of Truth coming out, who can blame him? [IT-Lex]
* Former Sandusky attorney under investigation for misappropriation of client funds. At least he’s only alleged to have showered himself with money. [The Patriot-News]
* Here’s a lesson in the value of knowing the law: DUI charges against a Chicago judge dismissed. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say, “the value of knowing the law needed to beat the rap after you’ve been arrested for totally forgetting the law.”[Checkpoints]
* Business development needs to be everyone’s responsibility in a law firm. Well, at the very least, it needs to be somebody’s responsibility. [The RelSci Web]
* Harvard Law professor seeks help writing regulations for the legalization of marijuana in Jamaica. Wait? It’s illegal in Jamaica? [HLS Administrative Updates]
I am on record as an optimist when it comes to the internet. The free flow of information on the web, including but not limited to websites like Above the Law, helps people make better decisions about their lives and careers (and also entertains, a value that shouldn’t be ignored).
Are porn stars’ rights deserving of strict scrutiny?
[W]hat I ask for is simple. I, like all other sex workers, want to be treated with dignity and respect. I want equal representation under the law and within societal institutions. I want people to acknowledge our humanity.
– Lauren A., a freshman at Duke University, defending her decision to perform in pornography to fund her education. In her personal manifesto, posted on xoJane, she rejects her categorization as a “bimbo” and a “whore,” and envisions a world in which sex workers will enjoy the equal protection of the laws.
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