Don’t get that jail cell ready for Paris Hilton just yet. Hilton’s defense team has launched a last-ditch effort to keep her out of jail after a Los Angeles traffic court judge made international headlines by sentencing the socialite to 45 days in county jail for repeatedly driving while her license was suspended.
Her attorneys have filed a notice of appeal at the courthouse. Though the document does not lay out the grounds for the appeal, her attorney, Howard L. Weitzman, has said the sentence was far too harsh given Hilton’s misdeeds.
We used to specialize in criminal appeals. But you need neither experience nor expertise to conclude that this argument is a legal loser. Here’s a good quip from a prof at Loyola Law:
“I don’t think the Founding Fathers had Paris Hilton’s driving conviction in mind when they enacted the cruel and unusual punishment provision of the Constitution,” said Loyola Law School professor Laurie Levenson.
But don’t count Paris out just yet. More discussion, after the jump.
Maybe it’s time to change the formula. The inventor of the three-drug cocktail used by many states to carry out the death penalty now believes it’s due for an overhaul. As reported by CNN:
“[T]here are other agents that work much faster and much easier,” [Dr. Jay] Chapman said, specifically pointing out an anesthetic called Diprivan. “Absolutely [Diprivan] would be better [for an execution]. If you’re wanting to give someone something so there’s no sensation, no awareness of what’s going on, that’s the drug.”
Chapman notes that to administer the formula that he created, “you have to have some skills to do it. You have to have the ability to find a vein and mix the drugs, because [some of them] come as a powder.”
Chapman still stands by his formula as a sound — if not perfect — method of execution. “It works if it’s administered competently,” he said.
Hampton Inn is the dumpy and unacceptable no frills, budget-oriented brand within the Hilton Hotel family. But compared to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, where Paris Hilton will be serving out a 45-day sentence for violating the terms of her probation, a Hampton Inn looks like the Waldorf Towers.
At this grim county jail, don’t look for a mint on your pillow. Expect some pubic hair from a “very masculine lesbian,” and you’re less likely to be disappointed.
From the New York Daily News (which could barely conceal its glee over Hilton’s upcoming jail stint):
Hilton will have to say “goodbye” to dye jobs and cosmetics and “hello” to five-minute showers once a day. Her friends and family will only be able to talk to her through glass and her phone calls will be made on the jail’s closely monitored pay phones.
Purse-pooch, Tinkerbell, will not be allowed to visit. And forget those designer duds she bought on Rodeo Drive. In the big house, Paris will have to make two pairs of socks, one bra, two pairs of panties and two blue jumpsuits last for a week.
Eh, no big deal — Paris prefers romping around in the buff anyway. And she won’t be fazed by the loss of privacy, since all the other inmates have already seen her naked.
More discussion, after the jump.
* No do-over for Vonage. [c|net via How Appealing]
* Legislature approves $5 million settlement in Florida boot camp death case. [CNN]
* Katrina wrongful death claims blown away by judge. [Jurist]
* Reno trial lawyer faces his own trial. [Reno Gazette-Journal]
* Fen-Phen plaintiffs have a horse in Saturday’s race. [WSJ Law Blog]
An inmate charged with beating an elderly man was mistakenly released from the Kentucky Correctional & Psychiatric Center in La Grange after a fake order was faxed to officials at the facility. The mistake went undetected for nearly two weeks.
In hindsight, it might not have required bloodhound-like detective skills to smell something fishy about that “order”:
It contained grammatical errors, was not typed on letterhead and was faxed from a local grocery store. The fax falsely claimed that the Kentucky Supreme Court “demanded” Rouse be released.
In the facility’s defense, its director noted that “misspellings on orders are common.” Hmmm.
Speaking of Kentucky, does the Kentucky Bar still require applicants to sit for the bar exam in court attire? We know from hard experience that Virginia does; we’re still having nightmares about sitting there in that freezing Roanoke Civic Center in our chic suit and rubber-soled shoes. When will this tradition die?
* Those wacky middle-school art teachers. [Daily Southtown]
* Not the lawsuit we’d expect from an office party gone wild. [CNN]
* Metal will always be big in Scandinavia. It’s not like a German couple calling their kid “Knight Rider.” [Yahoo! News]
* He’s free at last, the douche is free at last! In my defense, it’s been a boring day. [San Francisco Chronicle]
* “I even got out of community service, suckers!” [AP via HuffPo]
* And somewhere, a torts professor is drafting his “false imprisonment” hypo for upcoming final exams. [Detroit Free Press]
* This is the problem with straight fashion designers. (Serious Note: Sexual violence is one of the few things I NEVER make light of, but I personally see this as a classic he-said/she-said, with a little statutory, which I consider — rightly or wrongly — malum prohibitum, thrown in for good measure.) [Yahoo! News]
* Train wrecks, on the other hand, are free-for-all’s: Lindsay Lohan’s dad is now a free man, and in the past, he’s been such an inspiration in helping her to lay off drugs and to cope with familial dysfunction that there’s no telling what he’s capable of as a redeemed man. [The Showbuzz]
* His world may have collapsed, but his lung won’t. [MSN]
* They probably weren’t staying together for the kids. [Judicial Reports (third item)]
* Some African-American college students are, in fact, just African. Another way to summarize this “finding” is that “Not All [insert color here] People Are the Same” (or, as many a clever columnist would no doubt call it, the “Barack Theory”). [Althouse]
* I’m not sure what constitutes innovation in law practice management, but I wouldn’t nominate Sullivan & Cromwell. [Adam Smith, Esq]
* No need for a state-funded “Inner Change Program.” After they get stabbed by a pick fashioned out of a bed spring and gang-raped in the shower, inmates usually turn to God of their own will. [ACSBlog]
* Be careful when deciding what to call your party on Sunday night. [Overlawyered]
Hey, have you read Above the Law for like one single minute in the past month? If so, you probably know that we’re having this big blogger conference on March 14th at the Yale Club. Yeah, the Yale Club. You’ll be able to recognize me: I’ll be the only big… blogger guy surreptitiously holding a can of crimson spray-paint.
Speaking of coming, you should come. We’ve got CLE and all that. Click here to buy tickets to get CLE credit for listening to bloggers scream about stuff on the internet.
To refresh your memory, details on the panel that I’m moderating — almost entirely sober, mind you — follow.
My panel is called Blogs as Agents of Change, and we’re going to talk about whether all of these spilled pixels are actually making a difference. You know my view… just ask Lawrence Mitchell, but here are the panelists:
So you spent a considerable amount of time courting, selling and maybe even doing some friendly stalking of that attractive lateral partner candidate with a sizable book. After he or she ignored your emails and didn’t return your calls, a few weeks go by and you read a press release in the legal media announcing the recent move to a competing firm.
Rats. Another one got away from you. You cringe when you consider how much time was spent in meetings that did not bear fruit. Your heart aches when recall how you were led to believe this was a marriage made in heaven.
You have been rejected.
The sting of rejection is painful, even for fancy law firms. But you need to find a way that you can turn this disappointment into a legitimate learning experience.
No, this isn’t a pre-party before we come back next fall for the real thing. This IS the real thing. Quinn Emanuel is pushing the envelope on recruiting. The party is now. This is when you meet the partners and associates face to face. This is when we begin the dance that could land you an offer for your second summer BEFORE school starts in the fall.
First: You come to the party. Second: If you like us, you send your resume after June 1, 2014. Third: If we like each other, you get an offer.
We’re not waiting for fall. We’re not doing the twenty minute thing. This party is the real thing!
We hope you’ll join us, and look forward to meeting you.
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