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Hey, why not give it a try?
I'm sure people will line up to buy.
You're sure to generate
If you're beating the rate
Of every outsourcing firm in Mumbai.

Don’t misunderestimate Elie Mystal.
His typos aren’t typos at all.
They just show how he loves
To troll from above,
So the joke in the end’s on y’all.

Well, Souter is no Justice Breyer,
But it's sad how he easily tires.
The replacement's the drama.
Look for Obama
To look closely at Harriet Meirs.

Would she be the next Justice Harlan?
Or with her wit the first high-court George Carlin?
Any way it would go,
It'd be a hell of a show:
The clear choice is Pamela Karlan.

On second thought, Karlan's a kibitzer,
And the position I just don't think fits her.
Number 13's suggestion
I think is the best one:
It has to be Eliot Spitzer.

(fail)

I reiterate, Spitzer’d be fine.
The outrage would fade over time.
No one would remember
His john client number
Once he became one of the Nine.

What happened to Dewey Ballantine?
Not long ago, it used to shine.
Now paired with LeBoeuf
It behaves like a spoof
Of a lawfirm, and is way past its prime.

These comments are getting quite silly.
Non sequiturs fly willy-nilly.
And woe unto you
If you think it's untrue

These comments are getting quite silly.
Non sequiturs fly willy-nilly.
And woe unto you
If you think it's untrue
That Penn State has a lawschool in Philly.

Skadden prefers the lawyers it sires,
And rarely does lateral hires.
But Beisner really holds sway
And, in the words of Michael Ray,
The ship now be sinkin' at O'Melveney & Myers.

ATL's been a gracious host,
So what concerns us the most
Isn't Judge Kent
Or who he caused to get bent
But the end of anonymous posts (?)

With a joblessness crisis upon us,
Those whose motives were honest
But can’t pay loans at all
Do not need Mystal
Purporting to be Nostradamus.

I wasn't going to read this at all,
Given the likelihood it's appall
Well, there you go.
Aren't we all glad we know
The breast size of Mrs. Mystal?

I wasn't going to read this at all,
Given the likelihood it'd appall
Well, there you go.
Aren't we all glad we know
The breast size of Mrs. Mystal?

That's a great idea, cousin!
You should have the city a-buzzin'.
But if your cupcakes don't sell,
Stop by ATL--
I'm sure Elie will order a dozen.