DARY!!!!!!!

Partners having their draws reduced to a level less than first-year associates?

Simply AWESOME!!!!

$1 milloin bonuses for all employees of Goliath National Bank!!!!!!

AWESOME!!!

And a spell check for me!

Skadden partners leaving?

This is AWESOME!!

#3 just made the most AWESOME comment ever on ATL!

Whenever I get laid off, I always think about crying for a second...then I remember that AWESOME people never cry!

True story.

Making up words, such as "secondment" shows creativity and originality.

That's what corporate America wants: people who seem like bold risk takers, but never actually do anything.

As for me, I exist where the possible and the impossible meet - at the possimpible.

I think I sold a bellydancer once.

I didn't speak the language, but a man gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there.

The next round of layoffs is going to be LEGEN....

Wait for it.....

....DARY!!!!!!

....DARY!!!

Dear Sir or Madam but probably Sir:

As a law firm chairman, you've undoubtedly felt the need to surround yourself with an awesome, handsome right-hand man. Your search is over. I am a natural fit for your right hand.

I, Barney Stinson, recognize that you are a man (or woman, I guess) with precious free time. You cannot afford to comb though the stack of tree-killing, archaic paper résumés that have inundated your office or luxury yacht because as a… human… of great power and influence, you don't have time to read. As such, I proudly yet humbly present to you my video résumé:

www.barneysvideoresume.com

Dear Fried Frank Chairman:

As a beloved rainmaker, you've undoubtedly felt the need to surround yourself with an awesome, handsome right-hand man - particularly in light of your firm's anticipated layoffs. Your search is over. I am a natural fit for your right hand.

I, Barney Stinson, recognize that you are a man with precious free time. You cannot afford to comb though the stack of tree-killing, archaic paper résumés that have inundated your office or luxury yacht because as a… human… of great power and influence, you don't have time to read. As such, I proudly yet humbly present to you my video résumé:

www.barneysvideoresume.com

Suit up!

I had a threesome with Stephanie Haney and her twin sister by telling them I was a Playboy Talent Coordinator.

It was AWESOME!

Girls making out? Awesome!!

A good April Fool's Day joke...even MORE AWESOME!!

NYC is, and always will be, the AWESOMEEST city ever.

Walk over to the six foot blondes as quickly as possible, demonstrate your awesomeness, and then tell themselves to strap themselves down for a LEGENDARY night!

Your awesome friend,
Barney

87 is AWESOME...