Kash's story about the guys from Proskauer Rose who ate a whole 4 pounds of meat made Hofstra Magna remember this story about the Hofstra Law Review:

During Hofstra Magna’s brief foray into the world of big time insurance fraud defense work at one of Long Island’s most prestigious insurance fraud boutiques, he was initially surprised by the party-hard culture at firm events. Once the partner left one Thursday lunch at Burger King, the event turned distinctly frat party-esque, with tables pushed together for a French fry speed eating competition.

One time, a Hofstra Law Review ("HLR") event turned Animal House scene. The upcoming class had no problem snagging offers on the editorial board this one particular year -- and some outgoing HLR editors were willing to risk their coronary health to bring them on board.

This one time, there was a farewell party for the outgoing members of the HLR editorial board. The venue was a nice anteroom at the Jackson Hole in Bayside, very prestigious, white tablecloths and all - it was fit for a diplomat.

Earlier that day, it was announced via e-mail that all of the sixteen members of the HLR who applied for the editorial board had received offers, and that six had already accepted. Then another e-mail: make that seven. Then another e-mail: make that eight.

By the time the party was under way that evening, the managing editor mentioned in his token "what a great volume" speech that yet another four staff members had accepted, so there were only four holdouts.

Then everybody had lots of drinks.

The following is hearsay: One of the not-yet-accepted staff members casually mentions to one of the editors that she'll accept if the managing editor eats the remaining beef on the buffet.

Not hearsay: we're talking about nearly a dozen Jackson Hole burgers, nearly a half a cow -- at least four pounds of beef, cooked. Note further, this is *after* everyone had dinner and dessert. Lengthy negotiations ensued, [which] got progressively more and more serious as they became more and more specific. (E.g., did the person eating the beef have to keep it down? Yes, for at least 15 minutes.) At one point, another interested staff member checked in: "Hey... where are we on beef?"

In the end, the deal was that two staff members would accept their offers if two editors could finish the remaining beef in 15 minutes. Two editors rose to the challenge, including one who played high school football and once scored four touchdowns in one game.

While the beef was being consumed, one of the staff members generously granted the editors another five minutes.

20 minutes later: beef consumed. Offers accepted.

It was the coolest thing ever and now whenever someone says “Where’s the beef?” at a Hofstra event, everyone laughs because the HLR editors ate it all, all 4 pounds of it.

In honor of Hope writing that fulfilling piece about scandals at her biglaw firm, I decided I would write about a big scandal at Hofstra.

It was my 1L year. I was taking contracts, property, criminal law and constitutional law. Earlier that day I had read Marbury v. Madison. It was super awesome. Then, suddenly, I found out there was going to be a party at the most prestigious nightclub in Jericho. This club is uber prestigious, but I don't want to name it because I have changed names in this story.

Anyway, that night, after I read Marbury v. Madison, which was totally awesome, I took the Jericho Turnpike over to Jericho and approached the club. It was like a scene out of a movie. Everybody was so cool hanging out there. I was wearing my Mike Piazza jersey, with a black tanktop underneath it and a Mets lid on backwards. When I got to the front of the line, they made me turn my hat around. It sucked, it was like a total police state, the undersexed meathead bouncers were not allowing me to express myself.

So I got in and proceeded to meet up with some guys from my section. They started talking about the Rule Against Perpetuities, but I didn't want to sit there and listen to how no interest is valid unless it vests within 21 years of all lives in being. I wanted to ask them what their favorite toppings on Nathan's hot dogs were and whether they thought the Mets had a good chance to do damage in the playoffs. So I excused myself and told them I had to go to the bathroom.

I immediately met up with the cool kids from my section. They were talking about the Jets and making fun of professors, my favorite hobby.

As I polished off my first Jager bomb, I realized I was getting pretty buzzed because I had a single shot of Apple Pucker right before that. As I looked around the room, I realized people were starting to hook up. I had left the group and was standing in the corner throwing off the vibe by myself because I didn't want to talk to any more law school people because they are all so socially awkward but I am not, so I decided some alone time was best.

As I stood alone in the corner, I was watching the dynamics of the room. Everyone was impervious to the fact that their moral and intellectual superior was standing in the corner watching. One guy, who was the teaching/research assistant for our constitutional law prof was totally getting ready to hook up with this girl from my section, who I totally could have hooked up with if I wanted to because all the chicks love me. But I don't want to hook up with chicks just for the sake of hooking up. Especially not the undersexed, ugly introverted law school chicks. I'm too good for them.

I walked up to them and told the guy that if he hooked up with the girl, it would be in violation of the honor code and that I would report them. I think they hooked up anyway.

Then, the song "Nothing but a Gangster Party" came on, and this guy named Tony from Mineola grabbed the mic and every time the loop said "Ain't nothing but a gangsta party", he yelled out "ain't nothing but a Hofstra party" and everyone erupted. It was so awesome. Then, Tony and some his buddies decided they were going to Dirty Jers to scoop up some chicks, and they offered me to ride along, as long as I paid for gas and sat in the back seat of the PT Cruiser.

So we rolled out, and everybody was like "There goes Tony and all the cool guys, including Hofstra Magna." When we got in the PT Cruiser, we couldn't stop talking about the "Hofstra Party," which is what we called it after it was over.

Then, when we got to Jers (I was totally bombed from the Jager and Apple Pucker) my buddy Tony did this dance and we videotaped it. I can't believe that teachers assistant hooked up with the student. It was such a scandal, but the "Hofstra Party" and the song "Nothing but a Hofstra Party" will live forever. Here's the dance Tony did:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rYcfO_BK5w&feature=related

Until this morning, I had a solid plan to attend Zarb (Hofstra) and go into I-banking, PE or Hedge Fund Management, which would have been easy given my Triple H credentials. Unfortunately for me, Zarb, being the best business school on the Island, is pretty expensive and would have required me to borrow over $100k for tuition and living expenses.

I completed a FAFSA and worked with several private lenders to cover what the Staffords won't cover, and get this, student loan companies are rejecting me as a debtor. They asked how much student loan debt I currently have, which is about $285k between principal and accrued interest from my undergrad and law degrees at Hofstra. Every lender has said I have too much debt and they are not willing to work with me until I pay it down.

That's such a joke. I told the lady at one of the lenders I spoke with this morning that when I get done, I'll be making like half a million year and I'll pay them back within 5 years, but she said the "system wouldn't let [her] make the loan even if [she] wanted to." WTF???

Has anyone else had an injustice of this magnitude happen to them with respect to law school or business school funding?

I just finished my first week at an unpaid summer internship for one of Long Island's top insurance fraud defense boutiques, and the attorney with whom I am working stated that my "haircut was not very professional."

I have a blowout. It is the only haircut that I am comfortable with. What am I supposed to do, comb it down so I look like a total herb? No way.

I don't want to get fired because (a) rumor has it that last year the attorney took the summer intern to Jackson Hole for burgers on his last day and (b) I think this will be great work experience leading up to my MBA at Zarb. What should I do? Should I change my haircut or keep the blowout?

Based on an informal survey of colleagues and friends, I present to you my NYC area LS rankings based on a general consensus of reputation amongst practitioners in Long Island and New York City:

TOP TIER (go to the highest one you get into - everyone gets a good job):

1) Columbia
2) NYU
3) Hofstra
4) Fordham
5) Cardozo

SECOND TIER (go to the one that is the cheapest - jobs are a crapshoot):

6) Brooklyn
7) St. John's
8) NYLS
9) Pace
10) CUNY

THIRD TIER (Retake the LSAT - if you really want to go to LS, settle for one of these, but buyer beware):

11) Touro
12) Rutgers (Newark)
13) Seton Hall

What does everyone think? The shortcomings of the US News Rankings have been widely discussed, so maybe ATL can have a series of threads on each major metro area so prospective students can see where respective schools stack up against each other, without the gaming and sampling bias that plagues the US News Rankings.

Best,

HM

When I went to Hofstra a few years ago, the place was abuzz with V50 firms from the City looking to fill their ranks with the best and brightest Hempstead had to offer. Could a current Hofstra student comment on this question: With Hofstra's meteoric rise into the T100, are employers being turned away from Hofstra to make room for expanded recruiting from Wachtell and Cravath?