Finally received my Vertu in the mail today (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertu). It is worth more than most of your bonuses, cogs.

Today, the help came by around noon to remove the refuse from our trash bins. Unfortunately for this cog, one of my law review colleagues became sick in the trash the night before. (Naturally, I didn't take the time to nor degrade myself by cleaning it up.)

As the help began to pull the bag out of the metal trash bin, liquids sloshing about inside, I tossed a nickel inside in order to see just how poor this destitute was. He was moderately penurious—he hesitated, but ultimately fished it out (bare-handed).

This comment is addressed to "A Loyola tipster":

You claim that changing the average grade from a 2.7 to a 3.3 "punishes the small number of us that actually did well at this mediocre school by making grades meaningless and giving distinction to those who don’t deserve it."

Everyone at Loyola is "mediocre," no grade at Loyola is "distinguished," and all of you Loyola graduates will "deserve" the non-peer, non-preeminent law jobs that you won't have.

Today is a national holiday, the government paper pushers are enjoying their additional day of lethargy. It's disgusting. I take four days off for holidays per year--and one of those is my birthday.

I find that a week in the Seychelles on my Mochi Craft Long Range 23 usually takes care of any gloom.

If you do not have enough money to purchase this luxury vessel, I suggest you work harder.

This post is addressed to Commenter #20:

Both your math and logic skills are faulty. I said that I take four vacation days. Additionally, I take many business trips--some of which include weeklong sojourns to the Seychelles with my clients.

This post is addressed to Commenter #48:

Yes, I am a student at a preeminent peer law school (I also edit our preeminent peer law review). However, I also work 35 hours a week at my father's preeminent peer law firm. While it is true that I have not yet passed the bar, I am still able to deliver for the firm in countless ways, including wining and dining clients in the Seychelles on my Mochi Craft Long Range 23.

The fact that you are unfamiliar with this type of regaling suggests to me that you work for a non-preeminent, non-peer law firm, and are penurious.

Commenter #51, it is called hard work.

If you work hard, you will not be laid off.

Stop blaming your employment woes on selfish partners and start looking at the paltry sum of billable hours you claimed last year. Cogs: get to work.

As I noted awhile back, I tinted the inside and outside of my car (Porsche) windows so as to shield myself from the hideous sights of the unwashed and destitute masses. Still, from time to time, I am forced to interact with these lepers.

Today, one wretch volunteered to wash my window with newspaper and a purplish brown liquid. To entice this disgusting creature to flee, I tossed a dime across the highway intersection. He was clearly quite penurious--he lept through oncoming traffic to retrieve the coin.

Post like these should be published sparingly; the unemployed wretches just use it to snivel instead of addressing the fact that they are dilatory and nescient.

Commenter #57: Continue to edit the comments at an online tabloid. I'll keep editing the law review of my preeminent peer law school.

Whether global warming is real or not is irrelevant to me and the other .1% of obscenely wealthy aristocrats, as we have the financial resources and wherewithal to mitigate the effects of climatic disaster. Furthermore, the world's poor will serve as a canary in the coal mine; I will have ample warning once those who make 20 cents a day start to go under.

All poor people thieve. Thankfully, their punishment is forthcoming: the world's poor will serve as a canary in the coal mine for those of us with the wherewithal and financial resources to mitigate losses from climate change.

Let me make my post in #22 clear for all of you taking the LSAT.

This is a typical conditional reasoning scenario:

Poor person --> thief

Commenter #41:

You are a poseur. There is only one key to success in life: work hard.

Poor person --> purloiner

As always, it is the middle class that gets bilked. I an other wealthy aristocrats are able to gate ourselves off from the unwashed and thieving masses.

The middle class, however, is wealthy enough to be stolen from, yet not wealthy enough to barricade off their possessions from the plundering wretches.

For your information, I do not know one successful lawyer at my preeminent peer law firm who failed the bar. In fact, anyone to whom we extend an offer and subsequently fails the bar has their offer immediately rescinded. Wretches who failed this go-around: look for a new line of work.

Monitoring child rapists wouldn't be a problem if we put these miscreants to death. They are also poor and suck up the resources of state programs, burdening the wallets of hard working, tax paying Americans.