Vince Offer here saying that I'm gonna get medieval on Billy Mays with an Awesome Auger.

Vince Offer here saying good thing I got that health insurance endorsed by Billy Mays.

Vince Offer here saying that DLA associates can wipe their tears with a ShamWOW.

Plus, if you call in the next twenty minutes (because I can't do this all day), you get another ShamWOW for your car, which you now have to sell.

7--Vince here saying that's what Billy Mays said.

Vince here saying Bruckhaus is German, so you know it's gotta be good

Vince here saying that someone at Morgan and Finnegan needs to get slap chopped.

Vince here saying linguine, fettucine, martini, bikini, better hold it on the bikini, you with me, camera guy.

Vince here for the Slapchop. You take your cat food, add some pickle, add some carrot and you have appetizers for the entire cocktail reception! Your life is going to be exciting.

Vince here, ShamWOW holds ten times its weight in liquid. I think you may need several hundred.

Vince here saying that although the ship be sinking, you can mop up the incoming water flooding through the portholes with a ShamWOW.

Vince here saying:

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people

They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made

Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things

But you'd better lift your diamond ring, you'd better
pawn it babe

3 is a cheap imitation. He's not even German! Don't be fooled by imitators!

41--You're gonna love my nuts!

I stroock a hooker in Miami Beach the other day.