"which is one of the few jobs in the legal profession that is hiring. "

Wow, really Elie? Does every single article on this site have to make a flip comment about layoffs and the overall shape of the legal job market? Someone's job is a deeply personal asset and it's simply not appropriate to be so nonchalant about people's lives being, without exaggeration, ruined. It's similarly inappropriate to make jokes about people's looks, including their weight. To the extent that being fat is a mix of choice and poor luck and losing your job is a mix of choice and poor luck, making fun of either is really douchebag.

I had originally been one of the commenters who refrained from making comments about Elie's weight and have actually, on several occasions, chided fellow commenters for stooping so low.

However, seeing as though it's clear that you don't intend to (a) stop making fun of the job market for lawyers, or (b) shed 180 lbs, consider this war. Elie, your fat ass is mine.

To start, I'll point out that even if I lose my job after working at a firm for a few months, I'll still maintain a relatively even keel. And by the time I'm 60, it will have been nothing in my life but a speed bump that made me, more honestly than ever before, assess my drives and skills and it will have made me a better person.

Elie, on the other hand, at the age of 60 will have been dead for 15 years, having exploded at the age of 45 after winning a pie eating contest. It was the only contest he ever won in his life (aside from the one which forced Lat to hire him) but before you congratulate him too much, please note that he was the only entrant. The rules clearly stated that the winner of the pie eating contest was, literally, more pie, and he couldn't pass that up.