Add RSS RSS

Turd Ferguson's Profile

  • "Yeah, Turd Ferguson, it's a funny name."

Posts

Fire Elie MysTTTal Petition

We could go into reasons why Elie MysTTTal should be fired, but all readers of this blog knows these countless reasons.

So let’s keep it short and sweet.

We, the undersigned, call on David Lat and Breaking Media to fire Elie MysTTTal, effectively immediately.

Comments

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Morning Docket: 04.11.08" Friday, April 11, 2008 10:07 AM

Frontier's filing is interesting.

I wonder if we're on the verge of a widespread ripple effect throughout the industry. Even relatively healthy airlines could face trouble if their CC processors decide to require large escrow or change hold-back structures.


Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Happy Tax Day: Open Thread" Tuesday, April 15, 2008 1:34 PM

Anyone know where I can adopt some dependents on the cheap? This AMT business is killing me.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Featured Job Survey: Morale Conundrums" Tuesday, April 15, 2008 1:47 PM

At my V5000 insurance defense firm, we follow the words of President Dwight D. Eisenhower: “The best morale exists when you never hear the word mentioned. When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.”

We have banned any mention of the insidious word.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Featured Job Survey: How Do You Move It?" Wednesday, April 16, 2008 12:52 PM

At my V5000 insurance defense firm, the name partner gave two of us $150 each to help him move a couple of Saturdays ago.

$150 = three settled cases for us, so it was a pretty substantial moving bonus.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Morning Docket: 04.17.08" Thursday, April 17, 2008 10:07 AM

I'm confused. Is Dan Slater more obsessed with Harry Potter than he is obsessed with most 13-year-old girls, or is he more obsessed with Harry Potter than most 13-year-old girls are?

Scratch that. I don't really want to know.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Re-Branding: Venable and Boalt Hall UC Berkeley School of Law" Friday, April 25, 2008 5:02 PM

I wonder as to the official movie of the Venable firm...

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

...

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

...

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Re-Branding: Venable and Boalt Hall UC Berkeley School of Law" Friday, April 25, 2008 5:26 PM

http://www.berkeleycollege.edu/

Who knew they had a law school?

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Murder-Suicide at Paul Hastings in Atlanta" Monday, April 28, 2008 8:58 AM

Tragic.

Please keep the comments civilized.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Shocking But True: Students from Top Law Schools Go to Top Law Firms" Monday, April 28, 2008 4:05 PM

3:11(1) re: more big law jobs in S.F. than Boston:

There are only 3 San Francisco offices listed on NALP with 250 or more attorneys.

There are 7 in Boston.

More big/national firms have offices in San Francisco, (60 or so to Boston's 40), but their offices, on average, appear to be smaller than the offices of big law firms in Boston.

These data seem to back the guesses of others that (1) Boston has more "big law" jobs (i.e. because there are substantially bigger offices in Boston than S.F.) and (2) that S.F. is more of a "niche" legal market than Boston (an inference can be drawn from the presence of satellite or thinly staffed offices of many national firms, that firms view their presence there as purpose, not growth, driven).

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "ATL Gives You A Real Caption Contest" Thursday, May 1, 2008 4:15 PM

Attorney Michael Lewis had his doubts about his client from day one. At first it was her outrageous attire. Then it was her sometimes suggestive tone when discussing the impending trial. But it was upon returning to defendant's table from a obviously contentious side bar that Mr. Lewis heard his client say beathily to herself that "arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig," and then, sotto voce: "after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it."

Mr. Lewis now quietly ponders the requirements for withdrawal.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "ATL Gives You A Real Caption Contest" Thursday, May 1, 2008 4:20 PM

Attorney Michael Lewis had his doubts about his client from day one. At first it was her outrageous attire. Then it was her sometimes suggestive tone when discussing the impending trial. But it was upon returning to defendant's table from an obviously contentious side bar that Mr. Lewis heard his client say beathily to herself, "arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig," and then, sotto voce: "after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it."

Mr. Lewis now quietly ponders the requirements for withdrawal.

(typos fixed, I hope!)

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Lawsuit of the Day: 'Her Claim is Denied and Poop Happens'" Friday, May 9, 2008 2:43 PM

This woman should have hired me as her attorney.

It's not just a funny name!

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Working in Biglaw = Killing Babies?" Wednesday, May 21, 2008 6:05 PM

Someone should have told Bill Gates about this author's theory before started Microsoft, earned billions upon billions, and then created the world's largest private charity.

Undoubtedly Mr. Gates would have done more good and saved more lives as a 19-year-old Harvard dropout than by the method he is pursuing presently. After all, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation only has $38.7 billion (and growing) at its disposal to implement its global health, development, and education initiatives. Surely such paltry efforts pale in comparison to the "good" an unemployed, uneducated, and unfunded Mr. Gates would have accomplished instead.

Please, future wealthy philanthropists, abandon your dreams! No amount of money and global charitable reach will save the children! Only renouncing your BigLaw position and joining the PD, ACLU, Peace Corp, or similar organization can save them!

Follow your conscience!!!

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Working in Biglaw = Killing Babies?" Wednesday, May 21, 2008 7:05 PM

Per 6:39, "The note was widely critiqued and accepted."

Dear 6:39 + HLR editorial board:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_think

"Groupthink is a type of thought exhibited by group members who try to minimize conflict and reach consensus without critically testing, analyzing, and evaluating ideas. During groupthink, members of the group avoid promoting viewpoints outside the comfort zone of consensus thinking. "

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Working in Biglaw = Killing Babies?" Wednesday, May 21, 2008 10:29 PM

HLS to... joke status?

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Summer Associate Lunch Suggestions: Washington, D.C." Tuesday, May 27, 2008 3:15 PM

Second the Olive Garden suggestion. All you can eat salad, bread sticks, and (on occasion) pasta = keeping richly fed in lean times.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "A Random Friday Poll: 'Lawyer' or 'Attorney'?" Friday, May 30, 2008 1:09 PM

The key difference is in found the etymology.

Attorney comes from the early French "aturner," meaning to assign or appoint. The "aturne" stands in the shoes of another. He is literally the voice of the the client. This is why the definitions all point to a stronger agency relationship when the word attorney is used. We allow lay people most of the powers of attorneys, such as the obvious "power of attorney." This is also why the formal designation for the licensed attorney is attorney-at-law (to differentiate between the lesser attorney-in-fact or power of attorney).

Lawyer is the more specific term. It is simply the combination of the word "law" and the early French suffix "iere" (later Anglicanized as "yere" and then modernized as "yer"). Obvious to anyone who has studied French or any romance language, "iere" is an instrumental suffix. When attached to a word it simply means the subject is "doing" the prefix. Hence a lawiere/lawyere/lawyer is merely someone who "does law."

An attorney is an agent. A lawyer is one who practices law.

Lawyer is the more precise term for the modern American practitioner of law.

Posted by Turd Ferguson in "Summer Associate Lunch Suggestions: Boston" Monday, June 2, 2008 6:08 PM

Grille 23 is a must.