Quote of the Day

Working for the Kings Is Like Going to Law School: You’re Investing Time in a Lackluster Product

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I had just finished preparing for my first interview, and I got this email from Vivek [Ranadivé]. I was thinking, “Wow, I think I need to do a lot more.” I proofed everything on the flight over, and then when I landed, I went to a Kinko’s in Palo Alto and made copies. I pulled an all-nighter. I felt like I was back in law school.

– Pete D’Alessandro, the new general manager of the Sacramento Kings, reflecting on what he had to do to prepare for an intensive interview process with one of the team owners. D’Alessandro graduated from the Nova Southeastern Law Center in 1994.

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You Don’t Sound ‘Jaded’ on Law School Debt, You Sound Like a Law Professor

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Law school is expensive, so ultimately what’s another two to three grand? I might sound a bit jaded, but this is America and it is what it is.

– Brock Collins, director of bar preparation at the Charleston School of Law, offering his thoughts on the cost of the necessary evil that is bar exam prep.

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If You Ain’t No Punk, Holla ‘We Want Prenup,’ Right Rupert?

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If he doesn’t have a prenup, he would have to see a psychiatrist and not a lawyer.

– Raoul Felder, the high-profile divorce attorney to the stars, commenting on the high likelihood of there being an iron-clad prenuptial agreement between multi-billionaire Rupert Murdoch and his soon-to-be ex-wife, Wendi Deng.

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Lawyer Comes to Rescue of Bride and Groom

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Helping a bride make her wedding is about the best ‘Mitzvah’ a person can do.

– Benjamin Brafman, the prominent criminal defense attorney (for stars like Michael Jackson, Sean Combs, and Dominique Strauss-Kahn), describing his decision to pen a $5,000 check to help a couple fighting to get their deposit back after booking a South Street Seaport venue damaged by Superstorm Sandy. Brafman wrote the check to the couple he’d never met after reading about them in the New York Post, proving it’s not always bad news to find your name in the Post.

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Erin Brockovich Rocks the Boat With Her Mug Shot

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Erin Brockovich and her not-so glamorous mug shot.

After a day in the sun and with nothing to eat it appears that a couple of drinks had a greater impact than I realized.

It is very important to note that I was not operating the boat in open waters, I was moving it within its own slip. At no time was the boat away from the dock and there was no public safety risk. That being said, I take drunk driving very seriously, this was clearly a big mistake. I know better and I am very sorry.

– Famed legal advocate Erin Brockovich, issuing a public apology after her arrest for alleged drunken boating.

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Chief Judge Alex Kozinski Tells You Exactly What You Should Do With Your Right to Privacy

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But they can do it. Some phone companies, for a fee, actually have a self-serve website where law enforcement can go in, ping your phone, and know exactly where you are. Pretty neat, huh? So anyway, the answer is, kiss it goodbye.

–Chief Judge Alex Kozinski, discussing the state of third-party privacy in the era of technological surveillance. He adds that “the great libertarian conspiracy” could soon be located “right here.”

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How Much Jail Time Will You Get For Slapping a Lawyer’s Ass?

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Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson

I don’t know that you’re taking this whole thing seriously. I just saw you slap your attorney on the backside. Is there something funny about this? The whole courtroom was laughing. I’m not going to accept these plea negotiations. This isn’t a joke.

– Judge Kathleen McHugh, in response to Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson’s show of team spirit when asked during a sentencing hearing in his domestic violence case if he was satisfied with his lawyer. Under the plea deal, Johnson wouldn’t have served time, but now he’s been sentenced to 30 days in jail.

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Like the Energizer Bunny, Eric Holder Will Keep Going, and Going, and Going…

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Attorney General Eric Holder

The tipping point might be fatigue. You get to a point where you just get tired.

– Attorney General Eric Holder, responding to a question about his possible departure from the Justice Department that was posed yesterday by Senator Richard Shelby of the Senate Appropriations Committee.

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‘Anti-Semitic Elmo’ Thinks Law School Tickles!

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I should have gone to law school instead of doing the e-learning.

– Dan Sandler, commenting on a career alternative he might have pursued had he not become an anti-Semitic street performer in an Elmo costume. Sandler was recently charged with grand larceny, aggravated harassment, and stalking, after allegedly attempting to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts of the USA.

(On second thought, he’d like to “continue doing [his] Elmo gig because [he] make[s] a lot of money.” Ideally, he’d like to do it for the rest of his life.)

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Who’s the Idiot Now, Bernie?

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Bernie Madoff

The SEC needs more resources to protect investors. It’s grossly undercapitalized and it doesn’t have money to hire the right people. Basically it’s a training ground, by the time people are qualified they leave and work for private firms.

They didn’t catch me because the whistleblower, Harry Markopolos, was leading them down the wrong alley. He was an idiot.

– Infamous Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff, offering his thoughts on why the Securities and Exchange Commission is unable to effectively police financial markets, during a two-hour long interview with the WSJ’s MarketWatch.

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