Rape

Ed. note: Due to the Presidents’ Day holiday, we will be on a reduced publication schedule today. We will still be publishing, but less frequently than usual. We will be back in full force tomorrow.

* With a perfect record for equality post-Windsor and four appellate courts soon set to rule, it looks like the Supreme Court will get a second bite at the gay marriage apple by 2015. [National Law Journal]

* Per Am Law, Mayer Brown just posted its highest profits ever. Maybe that’s one of the reasons the NSA’s thunder from down under, the Australian Signals Directorate, was spying on it. [New York Times]

* For Asian American women, Biglaw’s “bamboo ceiling” may be just as tough to crack as its glass ceiling. What’s that? Find out by reading Helen Wan’s book, The Partner Track (affiliate link). [Washington Post]

* Haller Jackson, the law clerk accused of aggravated rape of a minor, has been in and out of court since his arrest. His defense team has even filed a motion to suppress his confession. MOAR info, plz! [Slabbed]

* Controversy alert: Michael Dunn was convicted of four out of five charges, including three counts of attempted murder, in Florida’s “loud music” trial, but the jury was hung on the murder charge. Lame. [CNN]

Shocking allegations against a former law clerk to a feeder judge and former Biglaw associate who graduated law school with a 4.0 and served as editor in chief of the law review.

* While we’re celebrating recently anointed Biglaw partner classes, let’s take a minute to call out the firms that haven’t bestowed the honor upon a single woman this year. Cheers, jerks. [Am Law Daily]

* The results of the NLJ’s Law Firm Billing Survey are out, and lo and behold, one of the top partners in the country is pushing $2,000 an hour for his services. Congrats, Ted! [National Law Journal (sub. req.)]

* Everyone’s buzzing about the federal law clerk who’s been accused of attempted aggravated rape and solicitation of a minor under 13. Don’t let that legendary 4.0 GPA go to waste. (More on this later.) [Times-Picayune]

* Congratulations to Gerchen Keller Capital, the litigation finance firm founded by former SCOTUS clerks and hedge-fund alumni, on raising $260 million for its new fund. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Iowa is thinking about allowing law school grads to practice immediately instead of having to take and pass a bar exam. Paired with its recent tuition cuts, the Hawkeye State is looking better and better. [Des Moines Register]

* If you’re in the unfortunate situation of still having to look for a law job once OCI has ended, then you might want to start considering applying for some of the other law jobs that don’t want you. [Mashable]

* The incarceration of a blogger known for making salacious allegations against federal judges raises First Amendment concerns. [New York Times]

* Kanye West sent out a cease and desist letter to the makers of Coinye, a Bitcoin alternative with a mocking, parody image of Kanye. This whole Bitcoin thing may be incredibly stupid, but these poor entrepreneurs are going to have to junk all their work just because they shamelessly stole the artist’s image. I guess it’s back to their electronic currency based on a busted-up parody of Kim Kardashian, which they call “Khloe.” [Ars Technica]“>Ars Technica] * The FBI classified Juggalos as criminals and the Insane Clown Posse has gone ahead and filed a federal suit. And who better for the New York Times to consult about this case than our own Juggalo Law! [New York Times] * Justice Kagan once again performed her civic duty and showed up for jury duty today. Unfortunately, this report doesn’t explain what book she brought with her to kill time, which is the best part of people-watching at jury duty. [Washington Post] * For those that think we always focus on the negative, here’s a nice narrative about lawyers who really help people. [XO Jane] * How do you deal with a blazer that just won’t button? Advice from our occasional contributor. [Corporette] * A group of Vietnamese fishermen sued a Texas lawyer alleging that he falsely claimed to represent thousands of deckhands to get rich serving on the committee of attorneys representing victims of the BP oil spill. BP’s just happy someone might come out of this looking worse than they do. [Miami Herald] * Sergio Garcia, the newly-minted California lawyer and not the racist golfer, says he’s looking to a future as the governor of California. [Fox News] * The judge who sentenced a convicted rapist to a month in jail is retiring. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out! [USA Today] * Clients don’t grow on trees. So what are you gonna do about that? Huh? I’m talking to you! [At Counsel Table]

* Great music can inform great persuasive speaking. That’s why Larry Tribe always cranks up YYZ on a loop when prepping for an appearance. [Katz Justice] * If you’re a law student planning for your summer job, this is an absolutely can’t-miss guide. “Be Fashionably Late To Everything To Demonstrate Your Value.” If only this had been around when I was a tyke. [BigLaw Rebel] * If you’re a 1L thinking about what to do this summer, consider applying for a 1L Diversity Fellowship at MoFo. Maybe don’t follow the last item’s advice if you go for this. [MoFo (disclosure: ATL advertiser)] * The attorney for convicted Steubenville rapist Ma’lik Richmond probably should have just kept his mouth shut. [Jezebel] * Who needs domestic surveillance when the next generation helpfully posts all their crimes online. [IT-Lex] * With courts in Utah striking blows for gay marriage and tolerance of religious polygamy, Professor Edward Zelinsky asks if it may not be time to junk the whole civil marriage thing altogether. [Oxford University Press Blog] * Congrats to Forbes’s 30 under 30 for law and policy. As Orin Kerr noted on Lat’s Facebook page, “I am looking forward to the Forbes ‘Top 10 Lawyers Under 10.’” [Forbes] * This isn’t a law school, but this is probably what those deans did over the break. Video after the jump…. [TaxProf Blog]

If there were such a thing as rape insurance, Tamara Tabo would surely buy it. But this is abortion insurance, not rape insurance.

* “Those of us from the Midwest think it’s actually easier to hide a child in New York.” Many of the current Supreme Court justices are from New York. How does it affect their jurisprudence? [Washington Post]

* The percentage of women associates in law firms may be down nationally, but in California, the demographic is on the rise — except in Silicon Valley, which is really hardly surprising. [The Recorder]

* Megyn Kelly, who’s been compared to a “brilliant supermodel,” is now considered the brightest star on Fox News, with more than 2.5 million viewers. Albany Law School must be so proud. [Washington Post]

* Class action powerhouse Cohen Milstein Sellers & Toll hired Matthew S. Axelrod of DOJ fame (most recently as Associate Deputy Attorney General) to join the firm as a partner. Congrats! [Law360 (sub. req.)]

* “The fact that rape insurance is even being discussed by this body is repulsive.” Yep. Rape insurance. Apparently that’s a thing in Michigan now, which is pretty unbelievable. The more you know. [MSNBC]

* Here’s a helpful hint for our readers: when you’re trying to get released on bail prior to your jewel heist trial, you probably shouldn’t list your occupation on a court form as “jewelry thief.” [Los Angeles Times]

* Florida State QB Jameis Winston was not charged with sexual assault after a nearly year-long investigation (well, it happened a year ago… it sounds like no one did much investigating at that time). What comes next? I mean aside from FSU demolishing their next two opponents. [Sports Illustrated] * Sadly, former South African president and civil rights leader Nelson Mandela has passed away. University of Maryland Law School, go ahead and let the world know... [CNN] * America’s probably unstable, definitely troubled sweetheart Amanda Bynes is coming closer and closer to a plea deal over her infamous bong toss. [New York Post] * A lawyer-turned-candidate provides the optimist's guide to running for office. For the pessimist's guide see John McCain's, "Jesus, I Picked Who?" [Huffington Post] * Next week, the Court will hear argument on EPA v. EME Homer City Generation. This is why you should care. [Constitutional Accountability Center] * People are super mad about the NYPD’s new “Stop and Kiss” program. The program only exists in The Onion, but that doesn’t stop most people from making unsolicited, snap decisions that no one asked them to make. At press, the Second Circuit had already preemptively barred Judge Shira Scheindlin from hearing any case on the fictional program. [Gawker] * Speaking of the NYPD, Mayor-Elect Bill De Blasio, who ran on a platform of reforming the NYPD, has named a new police commissioner and selected… one of Giuliani’s old police commissioners. Way to go, champ! Seriously, there are law enforcement professionals out there capable of running the NYPD beyond the last couple guys who ran it. This is like buying a marquee NFL team and saying, “I hear Norv Turner is available.” [Salon] * Professor David E. Bernstein contributed an essay on the Lochner decision to the new book Toward an American Conservatism: Constitutional Conservatism during the Progressive Era (affiliate link). [The Volokh Conspiracy] * An interview with this Yale Law beatboxer. Did we mention he’s a bald Jewish kid? Well, he is. [JTA] * David and Elie talked to Bloomberg about bonuses. Video embedded after the jump…

* At MSU Law, a couple of law professors are getting serious about figuring out how to leverage technology in the profession. They envision making legal hiring into “Moneyball” with MSU Law representing Oakland. So they plan to raise false hopes and ultimately fail too? [Lansing State Journal] * A real estate attorney is hosting a boot camp to train slumlords. Yay? [SF Gate] * If you never thought electing state judges was a matter of life and death, read this. [Huffington Post] * Here’s a fun one: Should TheDirty.com be liable for encouraging readers to submit gossip? Our old friend Sarah Jones hopes so. [Forbes] * The Steubenville rape case is back in the news after a grand jury has indicted four school officials for covering up the school’s infamous rape. [Jezebel] * A couple of former Harvard Law roommates have a fashion startup called ShopRagHouse that allows customers to design their own clothes. They’re seeking some additional funding for their next collection with a Kickstarter campaign now. [Kickstarter] * If you’re in New York and interested about legal careers in banking, swing by the Fordham Law amphitheater tonight from 6 to 8 for a free panel discussion featuring representatives from some of the largest banks in the world hosted by the Chinese Business Lawyers Association. [Eventbrite]

* The newest edition of the Supreme Court coloring book is out! Christmas has come early if your kid reads Babar and Curious George with originalist intent as racist, colonialist tracts. [Lowering the Bar] * The Young Conservatives group at the University of Texas has canceled its intended “Catch an Illegal Immigrant” contest amid a firestorm over discrimination vs. free speech. Now Cartman can go back to class. [NPR] * The Title IX Network is filing lawsuits against universities that allegedly mishandle sexual assault claims on campus. I mean, if the government isn’t going to do its job, someone has to step in. [Jezebel] * An individual has no expectation of privacy in an online dating profile. They should also have no expectation of a fulfilling relationship. [IT-Lex] * What is the duty of a sports franchise to protect spectators from flying hot dogs? Asking for a friend… [The Legal Blitz] * Real Simple Magazine’s December Book Club nominees are out and the list includes Helen Wan’s The Partner Track (affiliate link). The winner will be determined by online voting and closes Sunday, Nov. 24 at 11:59 PM EST, so please go to this link and vote for The Partner Track! [Real Simple] * Popehat has a site store now. As of now they don’t sell branded mitres, which seems like a damn shame. [Popehat] * The Obama administration is supporting a ban on unlocking cellphones while publicly supporting unlocking. First they came for unlocking and I didn’t speak out because I didn’t need to unlock my phone. Then they came for Angry Birds and there was no one left to speak for me. [Slate] * Dean Frank H. Wu discusses the Jimmy Kimmel controversy. It's not a funny piece, but neither is Jimmy Kimmel. [Huffington Post]

Accusations of misconduct mount in case against a friend of Judge Judy's D.A. son.

* Profiling the new talent appearing before the Supreme Court this term. Honestly, I can’t get excited about oral arguments that don’t involve the Ninth Circuit cracking one-liners anymore. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * The Montana man sentenced to 30 days in jail for raping a 14-year-old is out. I wonder if he can make it on the outside after being institutionalized for a whole month. [CNN] * As we predicted, political battles have exhausted the budget of federal defenders programs. At least in Ohio there’s a guy willing to bend the laws of time and space to represent indigent clients. [Federal Times] * Keith Lee of Associate’s Mind has a new book out, The Marble and the Sculptor: From Law School to Law Practice (affiliate link). The image of The Thinker on the cover is appropriate: most law school grads these days do just sit there wondering how to get jobs. [Associate's Mind] * Maryland gubernatorial campaign promising to build another law school. Newsflash: Ray Lewis has retired! You don’t need more lawyers! [Baltimore Sun] * The Daily Beast’s Josh Rogin mocked a stand-up act over Twitter last night. He was punched in the face for his efforts. The comic was arrested. Punching Rogin for criticizing the act was uncalled for. Punching Rogin for working for the Daily Beast on the other hand… [IT-Lex] * Marissa Alexander, the Florida woman sentenced to 20 years for firing a warning shot at an abusive husband, is getting a new trial. Since George Zimmerman got a decorative fruit basket for actually killing someone a few miles away, Alexander has to like her chances. [First Coast News]

* Sort of, not really spoiler alert: Saul Goodman apparently left New Mexico and joined Covington’s D.C. office. That’ll be a good fit. [Legal Cheek] * There’s a Broadway version of A Time to Kill? And Fred Thompson is in it, because this is a lot better than putting in that modicum of effort it takes to mount a campaign for president. [A Time to Kill on Broadway] * A bestselling author is suing USC for discrimination. I find that hard to believe. If USC turned any discriminating eye toward hiring, they wouldn’t employ Lane Kiffin. [Courthouse News Service] * Check out the new book by former firm partner Liz Brown about the process of leaving the legal profession. [Life After Law (affiliate link)] * A humorous take on the Supreme Court’s preparations for the new term. Justice Ginsburg is basically a Time Lord. [McSweeney's] * Class certification is denied for the Thomas Jefferson School of Law grads alleging the school misled them with false and inaccurate employment statistics. The case was doomed from the beginning, because there’s nothing “typical” about TJSL students! [San Diego Courts] * A profile of Ted Cruz by Jason Zengerle. It’s unfair to call Cruz a “Wacko Bird from Texas”; he’s a “Wacko Bird from Canada.” [GQ] * Lawyers defending the accused rapists of a Naval Academy Mid asked the victim to describe her oral sex technique, if she “felt like a ‘ho,’” and if she wore underwear. The goal was to teach Afghanistan to be more like the U.S., not to teach the Navy to be more like the Taliban. [Jezebel]

* Johnny Football failed to defeat Alabama on Saturday (though he was gentlemanly enough to keep Bama from covering the spread), but now he has a tougher foe in the IRS. [TaxProf Blog] * Don’t be that guy who takes naked pictures of your girlfriend. And definitely don’t be that guy who takes naked pictures of his 16-year-old girlfriend while married to the girl’s older sister. In other words, don’t be this lawyer. [Legal Profession Blog] * Are you an attorney on LinkedIn? Have people been endorsing your legal skills? Congratulations, you’re probably violating an ethical obligation! [IT-Lex] * Another round-up of people with law degrees who decided to be famous for something other than lawyering. When the list kicks off with Geraldo Rivera and Jerry Springer, you know you’re in for a classy list. [Millington Star] * One year later, a look at how the Steubenville rape case has affected the town. [Jezebel] * The world of litigation finance suffers some setbacks as it turns out lawsuits might be the only investment less stable than the Twitter IPO. [Wall Street Journal] * Time for some more legally themed poetry! This time, let’s get all Edgar Allan Poe up in here. [Poetic Justice] * Following up on our event in Toronto last week, Bruce MacEwen recapped the evening’s discussion here. [Adam Smith, Esq.]

It's sickening that it took nationwide controversy for this judge to have a change of heart.

* Fort Hood shooter Major Nidal Hasan gets the death penalty. Looks like that gradual end of the death penalty won't be fast enough for him. [CNN] * Man gets 30 days in jail for raping a 14-year-old who later killed herself. The judge explained that he’d already been punished with “the scarlet letter of the internet.” The new sentencing guidelines are really web-literate. [Jezebel] * The “most intimidating man in hip-hop” is a Columbia Law grad. Hip-hop has come a long way from allegedly dangling rappers off hotel balconies. [GQ] * Infilaw is taking over Charleston School of Law eliminating all the pretense. [Post and Courier] * On that note, Steven J. Harper discusses President Obama’s call to eliminate the third year of law school. Simpler Harper: Law schools and the ABA are too vested in ripping off students to listen to reason. [Chronicle of Higher Education] * The Internet Strikes Back: A new crowdsourcing tool tracks IP trolls. [Technology Law Source] * A call for former law clerks to fight for an end to sequestration. [Judicial Clerk Review] * The state-legal yet federal-illegal status of medical marijuana leads to some very complex tax returns. You should smoke up to take the edge off. [TaxProf Blog] * For those beginning law school, here’s some advice from the National Women Law Students’ Organization. [Ms. JD]

Proving that judges and prosecutors are wrong may be hazardous to your career.

* When it comes to the Affordable Care Act’s contraception coverage mandate, corporate personhood only goes so far. Religious freedoms apply to human beings, not their businesses, and the Third Circuit agrees. [New York Times]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector added 2,800 jobs in July after major losses in the two months prior. We’re sure that the eleventy billion members of the class of 2013 will be very pleased. [Am Law Daily]

* Not a Nigerian scam: Biglaw firms in Washington, D.C. — like Covington & Burling, Greenberg Traurig, and Williams Mullen — are busy chasing business in Africa. [Capital Business / Washington Post]

* A New Jersey municipal judge faces ethics charges due to his “extra-judicial activities” with an exotic dancer. It seems she appeared before him in his courtroom and in his bed. [New Jersey Law Journal]

* Tawana Brawley, the woman who dragged a New York prosecutor into an elaborate rape hoax (complete with race-baiting), is finally making payments on a defamation verdict. [New York Post]

* “Either I’m a stupid lawyer, or I’m stupid for thinking the court will enforce the rights of guys.” Former Cravath attorney and men’s rights advocate Roy Den Hollander is at it again. [New York Daily News]

* Morehouse College will be the fifth undergraduate school in the nation to publish a law journal. This is basically a case study in what it means to begin law school gunning while in college. [Daily Report]

* Things are pretty dire for New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner. Not even “that [law grad] who takes pictures of himself in his underwear in the mirror” would vote for him. [Delaware News Journal]

* Julius Chambers, famous civil rights lawyer and former leader of the NAACP LDF, RIP. [NBC News]

* J.J. Redick and his girlfriend had an abortion contract. I think you can get that model on LegalZoom. [Deadspin] * Justice Ginsburg was a looker as a college senior. [Huffington Post] * As discussed yesterday, the sequestration is doing a number on the federal defenders. Here’s a petition to save them. [PrawfsBlawg] * The police are enforcing Yelp reviews now? I guess Google is really pushing them. [Popehat] * After broadcasting offensive, fake names for the Asiana crash pilots, KTVU is trying to delete the evidence through copyright claims. [Mother Jones] * USC is the subject of a federal investigation for systematically failing to investigate rape allegations. “A DPS detective told one student that the campus police determined that no rape occurred in her case because her alleged assailant did not orgasm.” In fairness, you can’t feel anything with Trojans. Seriously though, when did USC become Dubai? [Jezebel] * Elie joined John Carney on CNBC’s Power Lunch to discuss the Khuzami hiring and the New Republic article about the fall of Biglaw. Video from CNBC after the jump…

* Sorry, ladies — the Duchess of Cambridge gave birth to a baby boy. Unlikely to be named “Joffrey.” [Today] * The PAC-12 is trying to block a for-profit university from joining Division I athletics. Hear hear. Division I athletics is for making millions exploiting an unpaid labor force and is no place for something as crass as a for-profit school. [Sports Illustrated] * Professor Kyle Graham wonders: Do judges have slumps? [noncuratlex] * If you’re fed up with the law, consider being a trophy wife! [The Careerist] * For those high school graduates who already know they want to be lawyers, Denver Law has a joint Bachelor’s/J.D. program. So what’s the angle here? Locking undergrads into DU Law years in advance, or protecting DU’s LSAT median by filling the class with students who don’t take the LSAT? [University of Denver Law School] * Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai has pardoned a Norwegian woman who had been sentenced to prison for the transgression of being raped. Remember, Dubai is the relatively forward-thinking country in the region. [CNN] * Justice Kagan can get a little snarky, can’t she? [Dorf on Law] * Trevor Faure of Ernst & Young explains how a variety of market forces have placed law firms and their clients in an almost adversarial setting. Video after the jump…. [Bloomberg Law via YouTube]