Reality TV

Jim Marchese

I don’t fight. I think it’s stupid. I’m trained as an attorney. If I want to hurt you, I’m going to sue you. I’m going to leverage your house. I’m gonna give you three years of hell in a courtroom. I’m going to bleed dry you financially, and I’m going to humiliate you as I depose you for eight hours and make you my bitch.

Jim Marchese, husband to Amber Marchese (one of the newest cast members of the Real Housewives of New Jersey), explaining why he chose to avoid a fight with Joe Gorga, another Real Housewives husband, on the latest episode.

(Marchese is a graduate of Seton Hall Law and was a whistleblower in the Cell Therapeutics case, which earned him $1.6 million. Marchese recently claimed to be involved in the bankruptcy fraud prosecution of Joe and Teresa Giudice, but a spokesperson for the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of New Jersey said “[n]o one involved with the prosecution has any idea who that man is.”)

Andi Dorfman

If you weren’t in love with me, I’m just not sure why you made love to me.

Nick Viall, the runner-up on the latest season of The Bachelorette, announcing on live TV that while the show was being filmed, he had sex with Andi Dorfman, the assistant district attorney who accepted a marriage proposal from another man.

Phaedra Parks

Back in 2010, we told our readers about Phaedra Parks, one of the new stars of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. The buzz about Parks was huge, in part due to the fact that she had a successful professional career as an attorney before the show aired. Parks, a “Super Lawyer” in the field of entertainment law, previously described herself as “fabulous, fierce, and beautiful” — but these days, the UGA Law grad may not be feeling so hot.

It seems that her husband, Apollo Nida, is once again in some serious trouble with the law. What happened this time, and how is this going to impact the reality TV show’s upcoming season?

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Kimberly Kisselovich from @Kimberly_Kisse

Move over Andi Dorfman. The Atlanta prosecutor who traded murder trials for handing out roses may appeal to those seeking a lawyerly “girl next door” fix, but if you’re looking for more of a lawyerly “girl on girl action” type, then meet reality TV’s latest legal star, Kimberly Kisselovich.

California native Kisselovich served as Playboy’s “Cyber Girl of the Month” for June 2013, but what readers didn’t know if they weren’t diligently reading the articles is that she was working on her law degree at a top-ranked school at the time.

Which show is she on? I’ll give you a hint, it’s famous for stars parading around in skimpy outfits, getting drunk, and having inappropriate makeout sessions on camera.

Oh, wait, that’s every reality show. Except Wicked Tuna.[1]

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Andi Dorfman

When ABC announced that Andi Dorfman, an assistant district attorney in Atlanta, would star in this season’s The Bachelorette, we all expected the media to force her Wake Forest Law degree down our throats as evidence that she’s smarter than the standard vapid Bachelorette. And in the process we’d hear more about how law is an exciting David E. Kelley-produced reality. To ABC she’s a real-life Ally McBeal. Except Jewish, which actually would better explain McBeal’s bundle of neuroses.

So it was no surprise when ABC treated us to this insultingly stupid interview where they force Dorfman to explain how she’s using “what she learned in law school” to find a fake husband the way other law grads find fake jobs.

How does a law degree help you choose a mate?

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Andi Dorfman

First we heard that Bachelor contestant and now Bachelorette Andi Dorfman, a prosecutor at the Fulton County District Attorney’s Office, left her job to star on The Bachelorette.  That would not be too offensive except that she left mid-murder trial, leaving her coworkers high and dry.  Though, she was apparently assisting on the trial, so there was likely another district attorney to take over the reins.  Still, her boss called the leave “highly unusual,” and it seems to be a disservice to the public for a prosecutor to leave in the middle of a murder trial for a TV show.

Now, there is word that attorney and former Bachelorette contestant Craig Robinson allegedly left his client high and dry to star on the show.  The case was your run-of-the-mill slip-and-fall matter.  Robinson apparently left for the TV show just before the case was to go to trial, resulting in a dismissal of the case…

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Porsha Williams

At the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion that aired Sunday night, cast member Porsha Williams laid the smackdown on cast member Kenya Moore.  At issue was that Moore accused Williams of cheating on her husband, NFL superstar Kordell Stewart.

Moore called 911 from the reunion, though Williams was not arrested on the set.  Instead, an arrest warrant issued and Williams voluntarily had herself booked on a misdemeanor assault warrant and was released on $2,000 bail…

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Teresa and Joe Giudice

Teresa and Joe Giudice, famous for their roles on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, have entered guilty pleas in their federal bank fraud case.  Media outlets are reporting that Teresa faces 21 to 27 months and Joe is facing 37 to 46 months.

The plea agreement reached is not one with a sentence specified.  In reality, the sentencing range is a suggested sentence under the guidelines; the court is free to sentence them up to the maximum of 50 years. Of course, it is highly unlikely that either Joe or Teresa would be sentenced to 50 years.  My prediction is that Teresa gets probation and Joe gets two to three years.

But Joe has a bigger problem….

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Just a day after genius legal impresario and sledgehammer enthusiast Jamie Casino reportedly landed a new reality show called Casino’s Law, a new lawyer has entered the hallowed halls of epic advertising.

The quote in the title is not paraphrasing. It is absolutely a line from the three minutes and 27 seconds of awesomeness that is this ad.

Check it out in all its glory….

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19 Recordings, the entity that enters into record deals with the recording artists who win American Idol, has sued Sony Music for allegedly stealing millions of dollars after underpaying the company in terms of royalties. The 33-page complaint, available after the jump, opens with a list of American Idol success stories and then documents in detail how Sony Music reportedly stole millions from them. 

According to the suit, Sony misclassified streaming music sales to pay 19 Recordings less than what the company was owed.  Another claim is that Sony was supposed to obtain approval from 19 Recordings after a certain ceiling cost for advertising was reached, but Sony failed to seek that approval before spending 19 Recordings’ royalties without its consent. The remaining allegations similarly claimed underpayment for royalties, improper passing of expenses on 19 Recordings, not allowing 19 Recordings to audit all of Sony’s books, and claims related to royalties for individual artists.

Interestingly, 19 Recordings filed in federal court. 19 Recordings is the little guy in this action — with the backing of name brand stars — and it seems that the company might fare better in state court.  The suit comes just after Season 13 of the show premiered on Fox.  The suit seeks $7 million in damages and $3 million in prejudgment interest.

Keep reading to see the complaint…

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