Reality TV

This short video clip requires little introduction. Res ipsa loquitur. Just watch Judge Marilyn Milian, of The People’s Court, benchslap a cute-but-insolent 2L from the University of Miami:

What is up with all these female Floridian jurists? See also Judge Laurel Myerson Isicoff.
The People’s Court – Judge Milian Flips out on Defendant [YouTube]
The Hon. Marilyn Milian [Wikipedia]

I Love New York 2 Tiffany Pollard Tiffany New York Pollard.JPGWe just caught the second half of I Love New York 2 (previously discussed here and here). Wow.
Even by the debased standards of reality television, the show couldn’t be any more trashy. We felt our IQ plummeting as the minutes passed. We won’t tune in next week, since we don’t have the points to spare.
And no, we’re not TV snobs. Our favorite shows include ANTM, Gossip Girl, and Desperate Housewives. We like good trash TV as much as, if not more than, the next guy (or girl). But it has to be quality trash, if that makes any sense. (As for defining quality trash, we cite Justice Stewart: we know it when we see it.)
But look, don’t take our word for it. From a commenter (one of the few to opine on the show itself, as opposed to affirmation action, the legal academy, and the plight of minorities in America):

Since I’m not arguing about race, HLS, Obama or any of these issues, my post probably doesn’t belong. But I was personally quite amused to [see] a Big Law associate on my secret vice: vh1 reality programming….

Though I would have to say, seeing as how law firms are in the business of questioning the “good judgment” of associates, I think exhibiting an interest in dating NEW YORK [a/k/a Tiffany Pollard] is clearly a poor example of judgment.

She’s crazy, looks like a [transsexual] with a cheap breast enhancement, and did I forget to mention CRAZY?

Frighteningly enough, the exact same description — “crazy, looks like a [transsexual] with a cheap breast enhancement, and did I forget to mention CRAZY” — also applies to Tiffany “New York” Pollard’s mother, Sister Patterson. While we harbor a weakness for strong, African-American women, we want them to look like women (and work at the Justice Department).
And what about the fate of the two legal eagles on the show — David Otunga, a Harvard Law School graduate and former Sidley Austin associate, and Juan McCullum, a 2L at Mississippi College of Law? As you can see from the show’s Wikipedia page, which has already been updated with the results of tonight’s episode, they’re both still in the running.
And Christopher Columbus Langdell is turning over in his grave.
I Love New York 2 [VH1 (official website)]
I Love New York 2 [Wikipedia]
Earlier: Sidley Hates on Old People, Reality TV Stars
He Feels Pretty, Oh So Pretty

Pretty I Love New York Above the Law blog.jpgWhen we wrote about David Otunga, the Harvard Law School graduate and former Sidley Austin associate now known as “Punk” on the reality show I Love New York 2, we requested more information about a second contestant with a legal background: a current law student who goes by “Pretty.”
A number of you kindly obliged. We now know that “Pretty” is Juan McCullum, 24, a 2L at the Mississippi College School of Law. He has bachelor’s and master’s degrees from Mississippi State University, where he was a Student Association officer. He was working at the Mississippi Attorney General’s office this summer.
For more about McCullum, read this article, from the Clarion-Ledger. Or turn down the volume on your speakers and check out his MySpace page, which is almost as annoying as David Otunga’s.
Juan McCullum is a handsome guy, so his nickname of “Pretty” makes sense to us. But he may not be the “prettiest” person on his campus. That honor may belong to Katie Rader, a 3L at Mississippi College law school and one of the Hawaiian Tropic girls.
Check out her photo, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “He Feels Pretty, Oh So Pretty”

David Otunga Sidley Austin I Love New York Above the Law blog.jpgLaw firms love free publicity. Especially law firms that have been in the news for having to pay $27.5 million to settle age discrimination claims by former partners.
Or maybe not:

David Otunga, a 2006 graduate of Harvard Law School and former associate at Sidley Austin, appeared in the first episode of I Love New York 2 on VH1 last night.

In case you’re not familiar with the show, here’s a synopsis:

“Tiffany “New York” Pollard is jumping back into the dating pool to find the man of her dreams. A fresh crop of twenty men are brought together to compete for her heart and this time the selection process has a twist….some of the chosen contestants vying for New York’s heart have been hand-picked by online users and some have been chosen by Tiffany’s outspoken mother, Sister Patterson.”

Back to our tipster:

[Otunga] was brought in as one of three or four “Mama’s Boys” (potential suitors selected by New York’s mother) and nicknamed “Punk.” He told New York that he was perfect for her, since he was an HLS grad and a lawyer at “one of the top law firms in the world.”

Unfortunately, that law firm — Sidley Austin — didn’t appreciate his appearance on the show, and the firm recently “suggested” to him that it may be in his best interest to pursue his “acting career” instead of his legal career. He’s no longer on the firm’s webpage.

More after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sidley Hates on Old People, Reality TV Stars”

Bachelor Bachelorettes Above the Law Blog.jpgNo wonder the producers of The Bachelor are so eager to have a lawyer as the Bachelor. With their impressive educational pedigrees and generally high incomes — even non-top-tier law grads earn more than the average American — lawyers are a desirable demographic. And relying upon the contestants to keep lawyers watching might not be a smart idea, since legal eagles keep getting shot down on the show.
From a tipster (a distinguished law professor, which goes to show that even geniuses enjoy trashy TV shows):

[O]n last night’s season premiere of the Bachelor, both of the law students were sent home in the first cut. The Phoenix Suns dancer stayed.

I only caught the beginning, when they were all being introduced, and I noticed the two law students – couldn’t figure out for sure what schools they were at. I’m guessing this show was taped over the summer, so this may have been their substitute for a summer associateship. In hindsight, a bad decision….

I was on the phone the rest of the time, and only learned later that they were both cut. They were decent-looking, though, so I wonder if it was their winning law school personality that made the difference…

We agree. The eliminated contestants — Juli, 24, of Chicago, and Natalie, 25, of Duncanville, TX — are quite comely. We’re guessing they go to non-top-tier law schools, which have hotter students.
We don’t watch The Bachelor; we prefer to spend our trash TV time on Gossip Girl. But if you saw the season premiere, and paid more attention than our tipster, we welcome your thoughts on why the law students got cut.
Update: From another source:

“Not sure what law school Juli attends (I believe it’s Michigan, but I don’t have confirmation on that), but I CAN confirm that she was a summer associate at Katten’s Chicago office. She left partway through the summer to film the show, and she STILL got an offer. True story.”

Hopefully she left Katten early enough to avoid having her ass grabbed.
Season Premiere: Episode Recap [The Bachelor (ABC)]
Earlier: Here’s One Way To Escape from Biglaw

Bachelor The Bachelor Lawyer Attorney Above the Law Blog.jpgLawyers have a pretty decent track record as reality show contestants. We went to law school with Yul Kwon, winner of Survivor: Cook Islands. So maybe this idea isn’t as dubious as it might seem:

An alert reader sent us along his very own invitation to be on The Bachelor. ‘”Apparently they are randomly spamming New York lawyers,” says our spy, who works at a top-ten firm. Casting directors are looking for someone “who is successful, good-looking, has an out-going personality, is ready to settle down, is around 6 ft tall and, usually, is between 27 to 36 years of age.” Guess you’re shit outta luck, shorties!

“We’ve never had an attorney be ‘The Bachelor’ so we are definitely looking to go that route,” the e-mail admits. The producers seem to know a little bit about the law profession — specifically, that good catches are harder to find than you’d think. So they’re casting their net wide and offering $5,000 reward to anyone who finds an attorney who could make the show.

If you get cast on the show, please mention that you read about it on ATL — we’d be happy to collect the five grand.

But though they know a bit about lawyers, it’s clearly not enough. Here’s the last line of the e-mail: “Please DO NOT forward to the press. We try to make this part of the process as private as possible.” Silly casting agents! Don’t you know that 50 percent of all law firms’ billable hours are spent forwarding private e-mails?

So, so true. Please continue to forward us private emails, early and often.
Update: A reader forwarded us the original email, which appears after the jump.
‘The Bachelor’ Casting for New York Lawyers [New York Magazine]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Here’s One Way To Escape from Biglaw”

Okay, this isn’t as amusing as the Alexandra Korry haikus that have been unleashed in the comments. But then again, few things are.
Courtesy of ATL reader “Josef Stalin,” here’s a Lolcat graphic, in honor of Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell:
lolcat Sullivan Cromwell Aaron Charney Above the Law blog.jpg
Lolcat [Wikipedia]
P.S. Please vote for Jordin Sparks in American Idol!!! Call 1-866-IDOLS-02, or text “VOTE” to 5702.
Even Professor Althouse, a diehard Blake Lewis fan, kind of agrees: “So, okay, let Jordin win. Blake will be fine. It will be better this way.”

paris hilton.jpgOr maybe 45 nights in prison, for the star of One Night in Paris. The Associated Press reports:

Paris Hilton should be jailed for 45 days for violating terms of her probation for an alcohol-related reckless driving conviction, city prosecutors say.

In documents filed April 30th in Superior Court, prosecutors said they also want Hilton to be required to stay away from alcohol for 90 days and wear a monitoring device that will chart whether she complies.

Keeping Paris away from booze for three months? Good luck with that.
Of course, expect the brilliant Hilton, if jailed, to turn lemons into lemon drops. Maybe the Simple Life: Behind Bars?
Prosecutors Want Paris Hilton in Jail [Associated Press]

Kristine Lefebvre Apprentice Above the Law blog.jpgTime for another installment in ATL’s ongoing obsession with law students/lawyers posing nude for Playboy. This time it’s Kristine Lefebvre, a loser from The Apprentice: Los Angeles.
From AP via CNN:

Lefebvre will appear on the cover of the June issue of the magazine and is featured in nude photographs inside, her publicist, Howard Bragman, said Friday.

An attorney, Lefebvre had previously negotiated Playboy appearance deals for clients including Pamela Anderson and Deborah Gibson, Bragman said.

Lefebvre, 37, is a cancer survivor who wanted to use the magazine opportunity to send a message of support to others with the disease, he said. She’s married to prominent Los Angeles chef Ludovic Lefebvre.

apprentice.jpgThe message she’s sending to cancer survivors? You don’t have to let cancer keep you from getting naked for money.
Incidentally, the season finale of The Apprentice: LA was Sunday, and the candidate hired by the Don is also an attorney, Stefani Schaeffer (at right).
Wow! No offense to Lefebvre, but we think the wrong apprentice is posing for Playboy.
Ex-’Apprentice’ contestant poses for Playboy [Associated Press]
Stefani Schaeffer bio [The Apprentice]

yul kwon yul kwon survivor yule kwon yul kwan yul kwon pics pictures.JPG
“Survivor” champ and YLS grad Yul Kwon made a triumphant return to his law school alma mater last week. In a speech entitled “How I Survived Survivor and Other Professional Challenges,” Kwon, who was introduced by YLS Dean Harold Koh, spoke about breaking down negative stereotypes about Asian Americans.

At this point in his speech, Kwon suddenly went off-script and tried to bestow his wisdom on the crowd of predominantly law students.
“Make the best of it,’ he said. “Think outside the box.”

Profound. We can only hope that when he worked for McKinsey, his paying clients got a little more than that kind of “wisdom.”
Speaking of stereotypes, someone did research on how much money men of various races need to make if they’re trying to attract a woman of a different race:

For equal success with a white woman [relative to a white man], an African-American needs to earn an additional $154,000; a Hispanic man needs $77,000; an Asian needs $247,000.
For equal success with an Asian woman [relative to an Asian man], an African-American needs no additional income; a white man needs $24,000 less than average; a Hispanic man needs $28,000 more than average.

So Yul can take that $1 million he won on “Survivor” and buy four white women.
Just kidding! This serves as a good reminder that studies are all about averages. On one side of the Asian-American male spectrum you have Yul, who was in People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” issue, and on the other hand you have… well, let’s just say that at least one Asian-American associated with YLS is known more for his “impressive body of work” than his impressive body.
(Thanks to the VC for the survey link.)
Earlier: “Congratulations to Yul Kwon — Who Says You Don’t Learn Anything at Yale Law School?”

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