Us Weekly is like The Economist of celebrity gossip. If you can make it through the latest issue, you're all caught up in the world.

To be sure, going through an issue of Us Weekly (so many pictures!) is easier than plowing your way through The Economist. So over the weekend, we did just that -- and learned something new and interesting. From the latest issue (write-up not available online):

Jennifer Hudson has landed a Harvard hottie! The actress, 26, who split from her long-time beau, maintenance engineer [Ed. note: janitor?] James Payton, is getting serious with Chicago lawyer David Otunga, 28, who appeared on I Love New York 2.

"She wants to get engaged," a source tells Hot Stuff. For his part, Otunga tells Us, "Jennifer is a wonderful girl."

Fabulous! How many HLS grads and Sidley Austin alums make it into the pages of Us Weekly?

Update: We intended the question to be rhetorical. But as a commenter notes, "Michelle Obama was extensively covered in last week's issue."

A little more discussion, including commentary from an Otunga classmate from Harvard Law, after the jump.

Our Bachelorette-watching days are probably over. We missed last night's episode -- and one of the two lawyers was eliminated on it, dramatically reducing the show's legal relevance.

As ATL readers go, so goes Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas. In our reader poll, almost 80 percent of you favored Jeremy over Fred. Consistent with your verdict, DeAnna eliminated Fred this week, leaving Jeremy as the only lawyer-finalist. For an episode recap, see here (a Bachelor-loving lawyer's take) or here (the official ABC recap).

We did learn, from our readers, a little more about Fred. Apparently his full name is Fred Greif (not Fred Glick, as previously rumored). And here's some information about his employment (which could be construed as a cautionary tale for anyone considering law school):

Fred graduated John Marshall Law School in Chicago in 2002. He never practiced or got a "legal job" post graduation.

He's a gym teacher at a Catholic school in Chicago. He teaches my friend's kids. That's why you can't find anything on him.

In the recent "lawyer" vs. "attorney" discussion thread, some of you theorized that "lawyer" refers to any law school graduate, while "attorney" refers to a licensed, practicing lawyer. By this standard, even if Fred isn't an "attorney," he can honestly represent himself as a "lawyer" on the Bachelorette. It certainly sounds more glamorous than "gym teacher."

As for the remaining attorney-contestant, congratulations to Jeremy Anderson. Apparently he's now "the longest-lasting attorney on any Bachelor/Bachelorette show ever," according to Bachelor News Update. We wish him the best of luck.

Update: If you're a fan of lawyers on reality shows, a tipster passes this along:

There is also an attorney on this season of The Mole. I can't remember his name, but he's a fairly handsome black man.

Our source seems to be thinking of Clay, 32, who is indeed a rather handsome African-American gent. He's a graduate of Howard Law School who works as a litigator in Philadelphia, focused on criminal cases.

Double D Part 4: Smooth. Rich. Succulent. [Bachelor News Update]
Recap: 06/09/2008 - Episode 404 [The Bachelor / ABC]

We just finished watching The Bachelorette, which has featured a few lawyer-contestants this season. We're happy to report that the attorneys are doing well. Out of nine bachelors still in the running for the hand of the lovely DeAnna Pappas, two are attorneys: Jeremy and Fred.

The frontrunner -- between the two of them, and on the whole show right now -- is 30-year-old Jeremy Anderson (SMU Law / Hunton & Williams). He's rubbing the other guys the wrong way, but much of it seems to be player-hating. DeAnna is definitely falling for him, as are ATL readers. In our poll, 85 percent of you picked him over Eric Papachristos of Ropes & Gray, who got the ax last week.

We can see why. Last month, a reader commended Jeremy's abs to us. We don't know how this (male) reader was aware of Jeremy's fine physique, but thanks to this week's poolside cavorting, we were able to see for ourselves -- and concur. Thumbnail at right; click to enlarge.

Fred, also a 30-year-old lawyer, is a more mysterious candidate. His last name is rumored to be Glick, although that hasn't been confirmed. A reader tells us that he graduated from Chicago's John Marshall Law School about five years ago. It's not clear where he currently works. (If you know, please email us.)

We're not big Fred fans. He's on the doughy side, at least compared to the other contestants, and he came across like a tool during his attempt to ambush DeAnna during her one-on-time with Jeremy.

But Fred redeemed himself during the contestants' pilgramage to the Oracle of Lesbos, Ellen DeGeneres. His explanation of DeAnna's best quality was rambling (and highlighted that heavy Chicago accent), but Ellen seemed taken by it -- combined with his performance in the "dance-off." She gave him a rose.

So both Jeremy and Fred are still in the running. Which lawyer-lover do you prefer?

Earlier: The Lawyer and the Bachelorette

Bless us, Father, for we have sinned. Last night we watched the Bachelorette.

It was for journalistic reasons -- really. We wanted to do an update to our prior post, about a lawyer competing for the hand of the Bachelorette, DeAnna Pappas.

Or make that "lawyers"? He's not identified as a lawyer in his bio, which refers to him merely as a "senior analyst," but Eric Papachristos, 31, apparently works in the Boston office of Ropes & Gray.

In addition, according to the Boston Herald (which confirms his Ropes & Gray connection), Eric co-owns Gypsy Bar, Victoria's Diner, and The Breakfast Club. We aren't familiar with these fine establishments, but if you are, feel free to chime in.

Sadly for him, Eric might want to keep his day job(s), since he was eliminated last night from the Bachelorette. He tried to bond with DeAnna over their shared Greek heritage, but she was having none of it. As he was sent home, Eric confessed that "it hurts to be rejected" and that he's "never had to compete for someone's affection before."

Correction: Whoops, sorry about that. Although Eric works for Ropes, he is not a lawyer; he handles "Financial Planning and Analysis" for the firm. See his LinkedIn profile (via a commenter).

But another legal eagle, Jeremy Anderson, fared much better. He's now viewed by his fellow contestants as the frontrunner, having racked up two roses. Here's how he succeeded, from EW.com:

In the Dodger dugout, he told DeAnna that both of his parents are dead and that he's had a hard time opening up because he's trying to protect himself and his family. DeAnna, whose mother died of cancer when she was 12, now has someone who knows what she's experienced. Jeremy's position on the show, and maybe even in DeAnna's heart, seems secure. Is he for real?

Real or not, he's quite a hottie (with ample upper-body strength -- he came in second fared well in the push-up contest). Furthermore, when Jeremy and DeAnna got their smooch on, he looked like a good kisser.

But Eric, who got the boot, isn't bad-looking either. He got sent home, even though some less attractive gents (in our opinion) were allowed to stay on.

Who's hotter, Eric or Jeremy? Compare their headshots at the top of this post, then take our poll below.

Update: As noted in the comments, there is a second lawyer on the show: Fred, a 30-year-old lawyer from Chicago. If you know more about his professional background -- for example, where he went to law school or where he works -- please enlighten us (in the comments or by email).

Earlier: SMU Law Grad to Vie for the Bachelorette's Heart

Several loyal ATL readers (and Bachelorette watchers?) tipped us off to a lawyer being among the 25 bachelors competing on the ABC reality TV show this season.

The eligible bachelor is 30-year-old Texan Jeremy Anderson. ABC cites his profession as "real estate attorney." He's a December 2007 grad of SMU Dedman School of Law.

Speaking of layoffs at Hunton & Williams, our tipster says Anderson (who summered there in 2007) was let go from their Dallas office when he went on the show:

A first-year Dallas associate (who took the February 2008 bar) was placed on probation by Hunton Williams after asking for a leave of absence to do The Bachelorette. The firm is apparently waiting for the season to air before making a final decision, although they obviously plan to fire him. Who has the gall to ask for a leave of absence during their first year, especially to do a reality TV show? But assuming it's a legitimate reason to request time off, is Hunton's reaction reasonable and fair?

His name is Jeremy Anderson... There's a rumor that he makes it to the final three. His bio was taken off Hunton's website.

When we called Hunton about the layoff rumors in Charlotte, we also asked about Anderson. The only comment we got from their spokesperson was, "On a personal note, I love the show."

We appreciate your sending this along, ATL readers. As one of you predicts, we will "enjoy covering Jeremy . . . and his abs."

When law students are choosing among law firms, they inquire into such predictable things. What's the firm's billable hour requirement? How is work distributed? What about pro bono? For lawyers involved in recruiting, it must get boring to have to answer the same questions over and over again.

So law students, next time you interview with a firm, ask about something that really matters: What is the firm's policy towards associates who want to participate in reality television shows?

Is the firm supportive of such endeavors? Can I take a leave of absence for the show's filming, and then return in good standing? If so, will my year-end bonus get prorated?

As it turns out, Biglaw shops take different approaches to reality TV. It was rumored that Sidley Austin was none too pleased when associate David Otunga decided to participate in I Love New York 2 (and he is no longer at the firm). As for his performance on the show, the Harvard Law School grad made it to the final three, before losing to "Buddha" and "Tailor Made."

Contrast Sidley's reaction to that of K&L Gates. The firm allowed an associate in its Washington office -- the highly attractive Denise Gitsham, 30, a recent Georgetown Law grad and former Bush aide -- to take leave to be on "The Bachelor." Now it welcomes her back with open arms. From an email recently sent around by D.C.-based partner Mark Ruge:

All:

This Monday, at 9:30 p.m. on ABC, is the season premier of the hit television show, The Bachelor. ("The Bachelor" is the nation's highest-rated reality TV show in the 18-45 female demographic group. It is now entering its 12th season on network television.)

Believe it or not, one of the contestants this season will be our own associate Denise Gitsham, who was away "on location" during much of February. Here is a link to the show's web site and Denise's bio:

http://abc.go.com/primetime/bachelor/index?pn=bios#t=bachelorettes&d=85609

Denise's name, photo, and bio were submitted to the show by her cousin, and Denise was selected to be one of the show's 25 bachelorettes out of more than 12,000 applicants. She was under extreme confidentiality requirements during her adventure (and still is to some degree). At least now, though, she is free to admit what she was doing during her mysterious leave in February.

Just thought you would like to know...

Mark

K&L Gates lawyers: if you need to send something to Denise via intra-office mail, the delivery should be accompanied by a rose. Thanks.

P.S. We can't find Denise Gitsham on the firm website (although we did find a "Denise Stiffarm" in Seattle). We're guessing that Denise has been too busy filming The Bachelor to fill out all that pesky bar admission paperwork.

Denise Gitsham bio [The Bachelor]

This short video clip requires little introduction. Res ipsa loquitur. Just watch Judge Marilyn Milian, of The People's Court, benchslap a cute-but-insolent 2L from the University of Miami:

What is up with all these female Floridian jurists? See also Judge Laurel Myerson Isicoff.

The People's Court - Judge Milian Flips out on Defendant [YouTube]
The Hon. Marilyn Milian [Wikipedia]

We just caught the second half of I Love New York 2 (previously discussed here and here). Wow.

Even by the debased standards of reality television, the show couldn't be any more trashy. We felt our IQ plummeting as the minutes passed. We won't tune in next week, since we don't have the points to spare.

And no, we're not TV snobs. Our favorite shows include ANTM, Gossip Girl, and Desperate Housewives. We like good trash TV as much as, if not more than, the next guy (or girl). But it has to be quality trash, if that makes any sense. (As for defining quality trash, we cite Justice Stewart: we know it when we see it.)

But look, don't take our word for it. From a commenter (one of the few to opine on the show itself, as opposed to affirmation action, the legal academy, and the plight of minorities in America):

Since I'm not arguing about race, HLS, Obama or any of these issues, my post probably doesn't belong. But I was personally quite amused to [see] a Big Law associate on my secret vice: vh1 reality programming....

Though I would have to say, seeing as how law firms are in the business of questioning the "good judgment" of associates, I think exhibiting an interest in dating NEW YORK [a/k/a Tiffany Pollard] is clearly a poor example of judgment.

She's crazy, looks like a [transsexual] with a cheap breast enhancement, and did I forget to mention CRAZY?

Frighteningly enough, the exact same description -- "crazy, looks like a [transsexual] with a cheap breast enhancement, and did I forget to mention CRAZY" -- also applies to Tiffany "New York" Pollard's mother, Sister Patterson. While we harbor a weakness for strong, African-American women, we want them to look like women (and work at the Justice Department).

And what about the fate of the two legal eagles on the show -- David Otunga, a Harvard Law School graduate and former Sidley Austin associate, and Juan McCullum, a 2L at Mississippi College of Law? As you can see from the show's Wikipedia page, which has already been updated with the results of tonight's episode, they're both still in the running.

And Christopher Columbus Langdell is turning over in his grave.

I Love New York 2 [VH1 (official website)]
I Love New York 2 [Wikipedia]

Earlier: Sidley Hates on Old People, Reality TV Stars
He Feels Pretty, Oh So Pretty

When we wrote about David Otunga, the Harvard Law School graduate and former Sidley Austin associate now known as "Punk" on the reality show I Love New York 2, we requested more information about a second contestant with a legal background: a current law student who goes by "Pretty."

A number of you kindly obliged. We now know that "Pretty" is Juan McCullum, 24, a 2L at the Mississippi College School of Law. He has bachelor's and master's degrees from Mississippi State University, where he was a Student Association officer. He was working at the Mississippi Attorney General's office this summer.

For more about McCullum, read this article, from the Clarion-Ledger. Or turn down the volume on your speakers and check out his MySpace page, which is almost as annoying as David Otunga's.

Juan McCullum is a handsome guy, so his nickname of "Pretty" makes sense to us. But he may not be the "prettiest" person on his campus. That honor may belong to Katie Rader, a 3L at Mississippi College law school and one of the Hawaiian Tropic girls.

Check out her photo, after the jump.

Law firms love free publicity. Especially law firms that have been in the news for having to pay $27.5 million to settle age discrimination claims by former partners.

Or maybe not:

David Otunga, a 2006 graduate of Harvard Law School and former associate at Sidley Austin, appeared in the first episode of I Love New York 2 on VH1 last night.

In case you're not familiar with the show, here's a synopsis:

"Tiffany "New York" Pollard is jumping back into the dating pool to find the man of her dreams. A fresh crop of twenty men are brought together to compete for her heart and this time the selection process has a twist....some of the chosen contestants vying for New York's heart have been hand-picked by online users and some have been chosen by Tiffany's outspoken mother, Sister Patterson."

Back to our tipster:

[Otunga] was brought in as one of three or four "Mama's Boys" (potential suitors selected by New York's mother) and nicknamed "Punk." He told New York that he was perfect for her, since he was an HLS grad and a lawyer at "one of the top law firms in the world."

Unfortunately, that law firm -- Sidley Austin -- didn't appreciate his appearance on the show, and the firm recently "suggested" to him that it may be in his best interest to pursue his "acting career" instead of his legal career. He's no longer on the firm's webpage.

More after the jump.

No wonder the producers of The Bachelor are so eager to have a lawyer as the Bachelor. With their impressive educational pedigrees and generally high incomes -- even non-top-tier law grads earn more than the average American -- lawyers are a desirable demographic. And relying upon the contestants to keep lawyers watching might not be a smart idea, since legal eagles keep getting shot down on the show.

From a tipster (a distinguished law professor, which goes to show that even geniuses enjoy trashy TV shows):

[O]n last night’s season premiere of the Bachelor, both of the law students were sent home in the first cut. The Phoenix Suns dancer stayed.

I only caught the beginning, when they were all being introduced, and I noticed the two law students – couldn’t figure out for sure what schools they were at. I’m guessing this show was taped over the summer, so this may have been their substitute for a summer associateship. In hindsight, a bad decision....

I was on the phone the rest of the time, and only learned later that they were both cut. They were decent-looking, though, so I wonder if it was their winning law school personality that made the difference...

We agree. The eliminated contestants -- Juli, 24, of Chicago, and Natalie, 25, of Duncanville, TX -- are quite comely. We're guessing they go to non-top-tier law schools, which have hotter students.

We don't watch The Bachelor; we prefer to spend our trash TV time on Gossip Girl. But if you saw the season premiere, and paid more attention than our tipster, we welcome your thoughts on why the law students got cut.

Update: From another source:

"Not sure what law school Juli attends (I believe it's Michigan, but I don't have confirmation on that), but I CAN confirm that she was a summer associate at Katten's Chicago office. She left partway through the summer to film the show, and she STILL got an offer. True story."

Hopefully she left Katten early enough to avoid having her ass grabbed.

Season Premiere: Episode Recap [The Bachelor (ABC)]

Earlier: Here's One Way To Escape from Biglaw

Lawyers have a pretty decent track record as reality show contestants. We went to law school with Yul Kwon, winner of Survivor: Cook Islands. So maybe this idea isn't as dubious as it might seem:

An alert reader sent us along his very own invitation to be on The Bachelor. '"Apparently they are randomly spamming New York lawyers," says our spy, who works at a top-ten firm. Casting directors are looking for someone "who is successful, good-looking, has an out-going personality, is ready to settle down, is around 6 ft tall and, usually, is between 27 to 36 years of age." Guess you're shit outta luck, shorties!

"We've never had an attorney be 'The Bachelor' so we are definitely looking to go that route," the e-mail admits. The producers seem to know a little bit about the law profession — specifically, that good catches are harder to find than you'd think. So they're casting their net wide and offering $5,000 reward to anyone who finds an attorney who could make the show.

If you get cast on the show, please mention that you read about it on ATL -- we'd be happy to collect the five grand.

But though they know a bit about lawyers, it's clearly not enough. Here's the last line of the e-mail: "Please DO NOT forward to the press. We try to make this part of the process as private as possible." Silly casting agents! Don't you know that 50 percent of all law firms' billable hours are spent forwarding private e-mails?

So, so true. Please continue to forward us private emails, early and often.

Update: A reader forwarded us the original email, which appears after the jump.

‘The Bachelor’ Casting for New York Lawyers [New York Magazine]

Okay, this isn't as amusing as the Alexandra Korry haikus that have been unleashed in the comments. But then again, few things are.

Courtesy of ATL reader "Josef Stalin," here's a Lolcat graphic, in honor of Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell:

Lolcat [Wikipedia]

P.S. Please vote for Jordin Sparks in American Idol!!! Call 1-866-IDOLS-02, or text "VOTE" to 5702.

Even Professor Althouse, a diehard Blake Lewis fan, kind of agrees: "So, okay, let Jordin win. Blake will be fine. It will be better this way."

Or maybe 45 nights in prison, for the star of One Night in Paris. The Associated Press reports:

Paris Hilton should be jailed for 45 days for violating terms of her probation for an alcohol-related reckless driving conviction, city prosecutors say.

In documents filed April 30th in Superior Court, prosecutors said they also want Hilton to be required to stay away from alcohol for 90 days and wear a monitoring device that will chart whether she complies.

Keeping Paris away from booze for three months? Good luck with that.

Of course, expect the brilliant Hilton, if jailed, to turn lemons into lemon drops. Maybe the Simple Life: Behind Bars?

Prosecutors Want Paris Hilton in Jail [Associated Press]

Time for another installment in ATL's ongoing obsession with law students/lawyers posing nude for Playboy. This time it's Kristine Lefebvre, a loser from The Apprentice: Los Angeles.

From AP via CNN:

Lefebvre will appear on the cover of the June issue of the magazine and is featured in nude photographs inside, her publicist, Howard Bragman, said Friday.

An attorney, Lefebvre had previously negotiated Playboy appearance deals for clients including Pamela Anderson and Deborah Gibson, Bragman said.

Lefebvre, 37, is a cancer survivor who wanted to use the magazine opportunity to send a message of support to others with the disease, he said. She's married to prominent Los Angeles chef Ludovic Lefebvre.

The message she's sending to cancer survivors? You don't have to let cancer keep you from getting naked for money.

Incidentally, the season finale of The Apprentice: LA was Sunday, and the candidate hired by the Don is also an attorney, Stefani Schaeffer (at right).

Wow! No offense to Lefebvre, but we think the wrong apprentice is posing for Playboy.

Ex-'Apprentice' contestant poses for Playboy [Associated Press]
Stefani Schaeffer bio [The Apprentice]

"Survivor" champ and YLS grad Yul Kwon made a triumphant return to his law school alma mater last week. In a speech entitled "How I Survived Survivor and Other Professional Challenges," Kwon, who was introduced by YLS Dean Harold Koh, spoke about breaking down negative stereotypes about Asian Americans.

At this point in his speech, Kwon suddenly went off-script and tried to bestow his wisdom on the crowd of predominantly law students.

"Make the best of it,' he said. "Think outside the box."

Profound. We can only hope that when he worked for McKinsey, his paying clients got a little more than that kind of "wisdom."

Speaking of stereotypes, someone did research on how much money men of various races need to make if they're trying to attract a woman of a different race:

For equal success with a white woman [relative to a white man], an African-American needs to earn an additional $154,000; a Hispanic man needs $77,000; an Asian needs $247,000.

For equal success with an Asian woman [relative to an Asian man], an African-American needs no additional income; a white man needs $24,000 less than average; a Hispanic man needs $28,000 more than average.

So Yul can take that $1 million he won on "Survivor" and buy four white women.

Just kidding! This serves as a good reminder that studies are all about averages. On one side of the Asian-American male spectrum you have Yul, who was in People's "Sexiest Man Alive" issue, and on the other hand you have... well, let's just say that at least one Asian-American associated with YLS is known more for his "impressive body of work" than his impressive body.

(Thanks to the VC for the survey link.)

Earlier: "Congratulations to Yul Kwon -- Who Says You Don't Learn Anything at Yale Law School?"

* Good news from the Tier 3 trenches: Southwestern University School of Law graduate Stefani is the winner of The Apprentice: Los Angeles, even though she is a trial lawyer and probably 10 years older than she says. Although I have yet to watch an episode, I'm annoyed that she spells her name with an "f" and an "i" and that she beat out the ethnic guy. [Black Prof]

* SNL Imus-themed skit, or just spectacularly disgraceful behavior? Unfortunately, despite being as unfunny as the former, the latter is all real-life. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* Long gone are the days when it was just girls doing it in the bathroom during prom. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* Give the guy a break -- he did use the drive-through. The silver lining is that he'll no doubt be receiving lots of (hopefully new) underwear fan mail. [WRAL]

* There are times when "seamless web" is not the nifty food delivery service, "holistic" does not refer to new age massage therapy and legal blogs are for actual legal discourse. [Legal Theory Blog]

Yes, we did catch Judge Marjorie O. Rendell on the Food Network earlier this week (see screenshot above). As we previously mentioned, she recently appeared on Dinner: Impossible, in her capacity as First Lady of Pennsylvania.

Chef Robert Invine was given a challenging task. He was directed "to prepare a stately array of hors d'oeuvres," to be served at the Inaugural Ball of Judge Rendell's husband, Pennsylvania Governor Edward Rendell.

The number of guests: 4,000. The amount of time available to him: 24 hours. Despite the difficulty of the project, Chef Irvine completed his mission.

But we were a little disappointed with the episode, for a number of reasons. We list them after the jump.

It can make you go blind -- AND it can cause you to be named as the defendant in a civil lawsuit:

(We love how "masturbation" appears in quotation marks. We realize it's a quotation from the Complaint, but it reads as it were placed in scare-quotes -- as if it were a less technical and more colloquial term, a la "spanking the monkey.")

"A.I." Contestant Accused of "Masturbating" in Suit [TMZ.com]

This has nothing to do with Sectiongate. It's actually about something of greater significance, if that can be believed.

Alex Angarita -- a Harvard Law School graduate, former associate at O'Melveny & Myers, and star of the "Survivor: Fiji" reality TV show -- has been arrested. From TMZ.com:

"Survivor: Fiji" star Alex Angarita faced off with a judge in Los Angeles County Superior Court today after cops claim he attacked a peace officer who responded to a 911 call on February 9.

According to the felony complaint, Angarita, a Harvard Law grad, "used threats and violence to deter and prevent" two officers from performing their duties. The 28-year-old reality star was charged with two felony counts of resisting arrest, one felony count of battery with injury on a peace officer and one misdemeanor count of possession of marijuana. It is unclear why the police were called, but the National Enquirer reports that Angarita was involved in a "brawl" with his girlfriend.

Angarita spent three hours behind bars at a Los Angeles County Jail, before he was released on $20,000 bail.

This explains why Yale Law School perennially edges out Harvard in those U.S. News and World Report surveys. YLS grads who compete in Survivor play to win -- and stay out of trouble with the law.

(Hey Yul -- don't forget to declare the $1 million on your tax return.)

Cops Outwit, Outlast, Arrest "Violent" Reality Star [TMZ.com]
Alex Angarita bio [Survivor / CBS]