Ridiculousness

Dry Cleaners Won’t Press Suit

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Roy Pearson Judge Roy L Pearson Abovethelaw Above the Law legal blog.jpgThe story of ALJ Roy Pearson and his $54 million pants isn’t over just yet. From the Washington Post:

[T]he small-business owners sued by D.C. Administrative Law Judge Roy Pearson withdrew their demand that he pay nearly $83,000 for their legal bills, saying that enough money had been raised from supporters to cover the expenses and that they want to end the fighting.

The cleaners want Pearson, who could soon be out of a job, to do the same….

It would make for an ironic conclusion to the case: Pearson effectively benefiting from the generosity of some of the very people who vilified his suit and came to the aid of the Chungs.

No comment from Pearson on the latest news:

Pearson has not responded to requests for comment on developments in the case. Early last night, he could not reached by telephone, and he did not respond to a message sent to his personal e-mail address.

Any guesses on that “personal e-mail address”? Crazypants at hotmail dot com? Or is Judge Pearson cool enough to use Gmail?
Update: Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Chung, but no thanks. Roy Pearson has filed his notice of appeal.
Dry Cleaners Cut Plaintiff Some Slack [Washington Post via How Appealing]
Pearson to Appeal Pants Verdict [Washington Post]

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A Summer Associate Farewell Email: ‘WHEREAS, I Am a Tool’

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Summer associate stories. Wacky farewell messages. Two great tastes that go great together.
Some brief background, from a tipster:

This kid was a summer at Davis Polk, and his farewell email has made the rounds in both DC and NYC. For anyone who knows him, it is no surprise….

[He] believes that we should not have a republic, but that an autocratic state would better suit everyone. He usually speaks in latinate phrases like “Hail, brother, farewell,” and he would send out emails all summer about obscure historical books to recommend to his fellow summers.

Check out the farewell email, and vote in our poll, after the jump.

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Linda Greenhouse’s Reply Brief

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Linda Greenhouse 6 New York Times Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgTo follow up on our earlier post, here’s an update on L’Affaire Linda, from the Columbia Journalism Review:

Linda Greenhouse has written a letter in response to C-SPAN in which she defends herself against their accusations. In it she claims that the “issue is not one of ‘open media access to public policy discussions,’” as C-SPAN’s Terence Murphy wrote in his letter, but “one of communication and simple courtesy.”

Ignoring the question of whether she received an email warning her that C-SPAN was going to be present, Greenhouse writes, ” I learned about the plan to cover the Supreme Court panel only when I showed up and saw the cameras. Prof. Gajda told me yesterday that she had only learned at 5:00 p.m. the day before that C-Span intended to cover our panel.”

Read the rest — plus a bonus Linda Greenhouse Rap!!! — after the jump.

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Linda Greenhouse Strikes Back (Capri Pants Sold Separately)

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Linda Greenhouse 5 New York Times Above the Law blog.JPGWe feel better. We’re not the only folks who have been rudely dissed by Linda Greenhouse, the longtime op-ed columnist Supreme Court correspondent of the New York Times.
From Jim Romenesko’s widely read media blog, Poynter Online:

NYT’s Greenhouse demands that C-SPAN turn off its cameras
Columbia Journalism Review

The Times’ Linda Greenhouse became upset when she realized that C-SPAN planned to broadcast a panel discussion featuring Supreme Court reporters. “I told [the event organizer] she had a choice, either she could have me on the panel speaking candidly or she could have C-SPAN there,” Greenhouse tells Gal Beckerman. “I didn’t want to have to modulate my comments for a national audience.”

C-SPAN’s programming veep is unhappy: “All the participants were notified the night before, and no one objected. Then, five to ten minutes beforehand, we were told we couldn’t cover it. Having a five-person crew unable to work for a day was a major hit on us.”

Wow. To the commenters who have questioned our characterization of Greenhouse as a diva, please reconsider your views.
So why did Linda Greenhouse throw a hissy fit over possible C-SPAN coverage? We have some (quasi-informed) speculation.
Some thoughts and some links, plus the complete protest letter sent by C-SPAN, appear after the jump.

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Crazy Plaintiffs Who Sue the Dry Cleaners Need Not Apply

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After we put up our post this morning about how Roy Pearson, of $54 million pants fame, might not get reappointed as an administrative law judge, a reader sent us this:

“Note this help wanted ad for a new DC ALJ (from the July 9 edition of the Legal Times).”

“I ask you: Coincidence, or just good planning?”

ALJ small Administrative Law Judge classified ad Legal Times Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg
Hmm… A salary pushing the six-figures, and the ability to call yourself — or at least make restaurant reservations under — “judge”? That gig doesn’t sound half-bad…
Earlier: Roy Pearson: From Pseudo-Judge To Ex-Pseudo-Judge?

Roy Pearson: From Pseudo-Judge To Ex-Pseudo-Judge?

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Roy Pearson Judge Roy L Pearson Abovethelaw Above the Law legal blog.jpgLast week we alluded to the possibility that Roy Pearson, plaintiff in the notorious $54 million pants case, might not be reappointed to his post as an administrative law judge. That possibility is now one step closer to being realized. From the Washington Post:

A city commission has voted to formally notify Administrative Law Judge Roy Pearson that he may not be reappointed to the bench, according to a government source.

In a letter sent to Pearson yesterday, the Commission on Selection and Tenure of Administrative Law Judges cited not only Pearson’s infamous failed lawsuit against Custom Cleaners, but his work as a judge the past two years.

So it’s not just about the pants. Pearson was also talking trash about his chief:

Concerns about Pearson’s temperament as an administrative law judge preceded the publicity about the lawsuit this spring….

In e-mails sent to his fellow judges and cited in the letter, Pearson’s contempt for Chief Administrative Law Judge Tyrone T. Butler was evident. In one of the missives, he spoke of protecting himself from any attempt by Butler “to knife” him. In another, he questioned Butler’s competence and integrity.

Talk of a knife fight? Is Roy Pearson a judge, or a summer associate?
David Nieporent, at Overlawyered, sums up the situation nicely: “Apparently trying to destroy a business by using the legal system to extort millions from the owners isn’t his big sin; his big sin is being rude to his boss.”
Litigious Judge’s Future Unclear [Washington Post]
Updates – August 8 [Overlawyered]
Earlier: Roy Pearson: No Justice, No Pants… No Job

Ahoy, Mateys! Avast, Ye Swabs!

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Every now and then, we offer you some ATL Practice Pointers.
Today we bring you a legal writing lesson. This is how you write a preliminary statement:
preliminary statement brief pirates Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg
pirate piracy Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgOur tipster wonders:

“Frustrated writer, or just a d-bag? Unfortunately, he did not continue the pirate theme throughout the brief, or even bring it back in the conclusion.”

Update: In case you’re wondering, this is an excerpt from a brief recently filed in federal district court (District of the Virgin Islands).
Earlier: ATL Practice Pointers (scroll down)

Pearson v. Custom Cleaners: An Update

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pants 2 Roy Pearson Judge Roy L Pearson Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPGSee the Associated Press and the WSJ Law Blog. From the AP:

The $54 million pants, as they’ve come to be known, were the subject of a widely mocked lawsuit that garnered international attention. Now, they have their own security guard….

On display [at a fundraiser last night] were what the Chungs say are the pants that Roy Pearson brought in, were misplaced, and were later found. The guests had appetizers and cocktails, and under the stern gaze of the security guard, some posed for photos with the pants.

Quips reader Melissa Zawadzki: “Don’t ya just love happy endings?”
The Smithsonian famously dissed Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress. But how can they say no to a pair of $54 million pants?
$54M Pants Star in Fundraiser [Associated Press]
The Great American Pants Suit Fundraiser [WSJ Law Blog]

The Bar Exam: You Know You’ve Been Studying Too Much When…

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pizza Dominos pizza Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgLast night, a tipster preparing for the New York bar exam sent us this message:

I ordered a pizza and Diet Coke earlier….

Dominos called to say they’re out of Diet Coke. I immediately started running through the UCC Article 2 analysis of imperfect tender w/ notice…

I decided then and there I deserve to die.

We welcome more “you know you’ve been studying too much” stories, in the comments.
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of bar exam-related issues (scroll down)

Gannett House Smackdown: Time For A Cyber-Crackdown!

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Harvard Law Review Andrew Crespo Above the Law blog.jpgRemember our extensive, mischievous-yet-good-natured coverage of internal strife at the legendary Harvard Law Review? It appears to have irritated HLR President Andrew Crespo. And it probably will have to stop now, thanks to the Review’s new “email and internet usage policy,” which prohibits sharing HLR internal emails with the eyes of outsiders.

UH OH! Looks like Andrew “Crespolini” Crespo didn’t like his dirty laundry being aired on Above The Law, so he’s created a new policy (this one, mercifully, public) to ensure that all inanity can be confined to Gannett House.

Fortunately, since it won’t take effect until next week, I figured I would send it along your way!

As our source notes, the policy doesn’t take effect until July 18, 2007. So taking the policy and forwarding it to, say, your favorite legal tabloid is permitted (until Wednesday, when all bets are off).
It’s not particularly interesting — but if you’d like to read the policy, you can check it out after the jump.

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The Bar Exam: If At First You Don’t Succeed…

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Paulina Brady bar exam well endowed Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgTry, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, and try again. And maybe the 14th time will be the charm!
For those of you freaking out over the bar exam next week, chillax. You will probably pass. If you don’t pass this time, surely you’ll pass the next time. Or the time after that.
You’ll be just fine — as long as your name isn’t “Paulina Bandy.” From the Orange County Register:

Paulina Bandy couldn’t fail the state bar exam again. Not after she failed 13 times before.

Some people complain that we’re elitist. So we apologize for asking: What the hell is UP with this woman?
(Is Paulina Bandy the child of a prominent politician? They seem to be jinxed when it comes to the bar exam.)
If you feel sorry for non-top-tier law school graduates who can’t land good jobs, just think — things could be worse. Much worse:

Paulina Bandy couldn’t fail the state bar exam again. Not after she had spent tens of thousands to attend law school. Not after she put her husband Jon Gomez through the ringer for so many years. Not after the debt she piled up forced her family to move into a 365-square-foot home.

Anywhere outside the island of Manhattan, that’s simply unacceptable.
More discussion, after the jump.

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Update: Fail the Bar, Blame the Gays, Solicit Donations for Lawsuit!

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Mass Bar logo.gif
Last week we brought you news of Stephen Dunne, the would-be Massachusetts lawyer who’s suing the state Board of Bar Examiners, claiming that he failed the bar exam because one of the questions violated his First Amendment rights by requiring him to approve of gay marriage.
As was noted here in Non Sequiturs yesterday, another blog reported that Dunne has amended his complaint to reduce damages claim from $9,750,000.00 to $9.75. Dunne told the Boston Herald:

“[t]he lawsuit is not about money … It’s about equity and justice, and I wanted to be very clear about that.”

Now we hear from the same site that Dunne has created a website that solicits donations to fund his lawsuit: www.christianlawsuit.com.
Here’s Dunne himself:

I plan on hiring America’s #1 Law Firm to help me win this case. Justice is expensive in America, but with your support it can be realized. Litigation expenses, expert witnesses, court costs and legal fees associated with legal research are only a sampling of the costs that must be paid to guarantee victory and protect the faith of the Founding Fathers of this beautiful Country. I humbly solicit your support and will gladly offer an accounting of the funds received by a Tax Attorney/CPA. The majority of donations will be utilized exclusively to fund the incredible expenses of this Federal Lawsuit. This case is about the protection and defense of Christianity.

Stay tuned for word on which lucky shop Dunne considers to be “America’s #1 Law Firm.”