If I’ve learned one thing from Above the Law’s experiment in matchmaking, it’s that throwing two pretty people together is about as effective in generating something that sticks as a DOJ prosecution of [fill in the blank].
I recently matched an “open-minded” female law student with a lawyer on sabbatical in San Francisco, figuring that they would both have unstructured time for hanging out. She was looking for someone “ambitious, confident, and outgoing.” He self-described as “Impossible is Nothing.” So that seems like a perfect match.
I had them meet at Candybar. Superman made a good first impression: “I was hoping for a tall, dashing, Biglaw attorney. But really, as long as he was easy on the eyes and not shorter than me, I’d be happy,” writes our female law student, who given the chance to bed any lawyer, fictional or real, chose Harvey Specter of Suits. “And happy I was.”
Unfortunately, she was no Lois Lane. He says: “I think I’ll start with the tl;dr to hopefully save some of the otherwise wasted billables on my lame story: She is a cute, fun girl who I just unfortunately didn’t feel much of a connection with, probably because of the damage law school is doing to her.”
Hey, you knew you were signing up for a legal matchmaking service. Damaged goods expected….
Everyone dreams of falling in love, and the first step in that process is usually going out on a date. For some people, finding a date is almost as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. But for others, finding a date is very, very hard work.
The poor souls who fall into the latter category are the people who tend to frequent the self-help section at Barnes & Noble — that’s where pick-up artistry handbooks are shelved, right? These are the people who are willing to hand thousands of dollars to matchmakers like Patti Stanger in the hopes of going on a single date.
But try as they might, sometimes matchmakers fail. In fact, sometimes matchmakers fail because they allegedly charge exorbitant prices to send their clients on dates with convicted criminals. In times like this, these broken hearts don’t go home; instead, they go to court….
Based on the initial round of Courtship Connection dates in San Francisco, it seems the city has as much chemistry as it does technology start-ups. I hate to break it to non-Californians: not only do those on the Best Coast have great weather, but dating there seems to be a breeze.
That’s based just on the first two lawyer couples I sent out. I hope am sure San Francisco will yield some disasters yet.
I paired up our first set of twenty-somethings based on equal levels of hotness in Facebook photos, and numerous albums that involved traveling and outdoor activities.
Our “lively snowboarder” lady lawyer said she was looking for someone “quiet-er, anti-douchebag, witty, preferably handsome.” Given the opportunity to bed any legal type, living or dead, fictional or real, she chose Atticus Finch, “played by Gregory Peck, natch.” Her date says he’d be a “professor” if he weren’t a corporate lawyer. That seemed Finch-level noble. Professor Biglaw self-described as “witty” — which is what Lady Snowboard is seeking — and “sarcastic, relaxed, well-traveled.” Given the chance to bed a famous legal character, he chose “Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny.” Technically, I think that means he prefers to date a non-lawyer, but things seemed to work out regardless…
As we know from our Courtship Connection service, the dating scene is pretty rough for lawyers in New York City — but it’s even worse if you’ve chosen a non-lawyer as your date. Laypeople just don’t understand what it’s like to be a member of the legal profession.
While you were living your carefree existence, the average young lawyer is likely six figures in debt after having gone to school for three years. He’s overwhelmingly stressed out, and he works hard for the money. Like Kenneth Kratz, he is “the prize.”
That being said, you can only imagine how pissed a single lawyer would become after he’s been given the brush-off after a first date via text message….
Some people say that all’s fair in love and war. Regarding love, at least, I would have to disagree. Some behavior is neither fair, considerate, or legal.
Take stalking, for example. But love, especially when it’s unrequited or broken (that’s your cue, ATLCommentBot), leads people to do crazy things. This week, a Midwestern law professor and former high-ranking CIA lawyer, was on the receiving end of a restraining order based on allegations that he harassed a woman with whom he was reportedly having an affair.
Keep reading to learn more about our Law Professor of the Day and see what happens when Minnesota Nice turns into Minnesota-leave-me-the-hell alone….
And now we come to the part of our day where students at top law schools have their toolishness exposed for the entertainment of the masses.
In the arena today are not one, but two, Harvard Law 3Ls who are in need of a date for the Barrister’s Ball. Instead of securing a date in the normal way, they’re trying to see what their Crimson credentials will net them on the open market of Craigslist.
Oh, they say that they’re looking for two dates, but I’m willing to bet just one woman could take them both on….
At the end of January, we brought you a detailed report on a lawsuit filed by former prosecutor and Court TV analyst Matthew Couloute Jr., who alleged that his ex-girlfriends had taken to the internet to let loose about his alleged infidelities. His exes’ scathing words were found on LiarsCheatersRUs, a website created to “save others from the heartache” associated with a cheating significant other.
In his suit, Couloute alleged that his former girlfriends, Amanda Ryncarz and Stacey Blitsch, had caused “tortious interference with [his] prospective business relations” by virtue of their online diatribes. After all, if you Google any derivative of the man’s name, one of the first few hits that appears is his profile on the scandalous cheaters website.
All the man wanted was a clean Google search, but it looks like he’s never heard of the Streisand effect. Now, just about every piece of information about Couloute that can be found on the web relates to his lawsuit, including the latest ruling made by Judge Harold Baer….
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Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: email@example.com.
Deal flow has clearly picked recently up for most US associates, counsels and partners in Hong Kong/China and Singapore. We are on the phone with a lot of these folks on a daily basis, many of whom we have known for years. Further, the head of our Asia team, Evan Jowers, and Kinney’s founder and president, Robert Kinney, frequently meet in person with leading US partners in Asia to assess their needs and keep on top of the inside scoop at as many firms as possible. The need for legal recruiting help in Asia from experienced recruiters appears to be live and well. In March, Evan and Robert were in Beijing at such meetings, in April, Evan was in Hong Kong, and for half of June Evan will be in Shanghai and Hong Kong. Thus its pretty easy for us to tell when there has been an across-the-market pick up in capital markets and corporate work.
On an average day in Asia when Evan and Robert visit firms, they typically have 5 to 9 meetings a day, mostly with US partners in the market. The reason they have these meetings is not simply because Kinney makes a lot of US attorney placements in Asia and that a particular firm may have openings; instead these are just visits with friends. After years of working together as business partners, the folks at Kinney are actually these peoples’ friends. The firms Kinney work closely with in Asia (which is just about every law firm – call us if you want to know the one firm in the world we will never place anyone with again, ever, and why) look forward to the visits, or at least act like they do. After seven years in the market, many of the client partners are former associate candidates. Also, these US partners see Kinney as a very good source of market information as well, because they know how deep their contacts are in the market and how frequently they are speaking to counterparts at peer firms.
In a land that is right here and in a time that is right now, a technology has arisen so powerful that it can replace basic human document review. Is it time to bow down before our new robot overlords?
First, here’s a little story about me: my life in the legal world began as a paralegal. My first case was a GIANT patent infringement case that was already six years old and had involved as many as five companies, multiple US courts, the ITC and an international standards committee. I knew nothing about any of this.
On my first day, my supervisor (a paralegal with at least eight other cases driving her crazy) sat me down in front of a Concordance database with a 100,000+ patents and patent file histories. “Code these,” she said. I learned that “coding”, for the purposes of this exercise, meant manually typing the inventor’s name, the title of the patent, the assignee, the file date, and other objective data for each document. I worked on that project – and only that project – for at least the first six months of my job. After a week or so, time began to blur.
What I know, in retrospect and with absolutely certainty, is that as time began to blur, so did my judgment. So did my attention to detail. If you could tell me that I did not make at least one mistake a day – one inconsistent spelling, one reversed day and month, one incorrectly spaced title – I frankly would need to see your evidence. I would not believe it. The human mind is trainable but it is not a machine.
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