Romance and Dating

Courtship Connection SF: ‘Law School Has Ruined Her’

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If I’ve learned one thing from Above the Law’s experiment in matchmaking, it’s that throwing two pretty people together is about as effective in generating something that sticks as a DOJ prosecution of [fill in the blank].

I recently matched an “open-minded” female law student with a lawyer on sabbatical in San Francisco, figuring that they would both have unstructured time for hanging out. She was looking for someone “ambitious, confident, and outgoing.” He self-described as “Impossible is Nothing.” So that seems like a perfect match.

I had them meet at Candybar. Superman made a good first impression: “I was hoping for a tall, dashing, Biglaw attorney. But really, as long as he was easy on the eyes and not shorter than me, I’d be happy,” writes our female law student, who given the chance to bed any lawyer, fictional or real, chose Harvey Specter of Suits. “And happy I was.”

Unfortunately, she was no Lois Lane. He says: “I think I’ll start with the tl;dr to hopefully save some of the otherwise wasted billables on my lame story: She is a cute, fun girl who I just unfortunately didn’t feel much of a connection with, probably because of the damage law school is doing to her.”

Hey, you knew you were signing up for a legal matchmaking service. Damaged goods expected….

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New Jersey Woman Sues Her Matchmaker After Being Sent on a Really Bad, Really Expensive Date

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Everyone dreams of falling in love, and the first step in that process is usually going out on a date. For some people, finding a date is almost as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. But for others, finding a date is very, very hard work.

The poor souls who fall into the latter category are the people who tend to frequent the self-help section at Barnes & Noble — that’s where pick-up artistry handbooks are shelved, right? These are the people who are willing to hand thousands of dollars to matchmakers like Patti Stanger in the hopes of going on a single date.

But try as they might, sometimes matchmakers fail. In fact, sometimes matchmakers fail because they allegedly charge exorbitant prices to send their clients on dates with convicted criminals. In times like this, these broken hearts don’t go home; instead, they go to court….

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Quote of the Day: Unlike Hot Coffee, Herpes Is the Gift That Keeps on Giving

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Shawn Lillegren

Go for a million — that’s plaintiff’s message. God bless America. Go for it. Got some coffee to spill on me?

– Attorney Shawn Lillegren, attempting to paint the woman who sued his client over a genital herpes infection as overly litigious.

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Courtship Connection SF: You Had Me At ‘Attractive’

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Based on the initial round of Courtship Connection dates in San Francisco, it seems the city has as much chemistry as it does technology start-ups. I hate to break it to non-Californians: not only do those on the Best Coast have great weather, but dating there seems to be a breeze.

That’s based just on the first two lawyer couples I sent out. I hope am sure San Francisco will yield some disasters yet.

I paired up our first set of twenty-somethings based on equal levels of hotness in Facebook photos, and numerous albums that involved traveling and outdoor activities.

Our “lively snowboarder” lady lawyer said she was looking for someone “quiet-er, anti-douchebag, witty, preferably handsome.” Given the opportunity to bed any legal type, living or dead, fictional or real, she chose Atticus Finch, “played by Gregory Peck, natch.” Her date says he’d be a “professor” if he weren’t a corporate lawyer. That seemed Finch-level noble. Professor Biglaw self-described as “witty” — which is what Lady Snowboard is seeking — and “sarcastic, relaxed, well-traveled.” Given the chance to bed a famous legal character, he chose “Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny.” Technically, I think that means he prefers to date a non-lawyer, but things seemed to work out regardless…

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Lawyer Sends a Passive-Aggressive Break-Up Brief Via Text

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As we know from our Courtship Connection service, the dating scene is pretty rough for lawyers in New York City — but it’s even worse if you’ve chosen a non-lawyer as your date. Laypeople just don’t understand what it’s like to be a member of the legal profession.

While you were living your carefree existence, the average young lawyer is likely six figures in debt after having gone to school for three years. He’s overwhelmingly stressed out, and he works hard for the money. Like Kenneth Kratz, he is “the prize.”

That being said, you can only imagine how pissed a single lawyer would become after he’s been given the brush-off after a first date via text message….

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Law Professor of the Day: Don’t Stand So Close to Me

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Some people say that all’s fair in love and war. Regarding love, at least, I would have to disagree. Some behavior is neither fair, considerate, or legal.

Take stalking, for example. But love, especially when it’s unrequited or broken (that’s your cue, ATLCommentBot), leads people to do crazy things. This week, a Midwestern law professor and former high-ranking CIA lawyer, was on the receiving end of a restraining order based on allegations that he harassed a woman with whom he was reportedly having an affair.

Keep reading to learn more about our Law Professor of the Day and see what happens when Minnesota Nice turns into Minnesota-leave-me-the-hell alone….

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An Invitation to a Harvard Law Hook-Up

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And now we come to the part of our day where students at top law schools have their toolishness exposed for the entertainment of the masses.

In the arena today are not one, but two, Harvard Law 3Ls who are in need of a date for the Barrister’s Ball. Instead of securing a date in the normal way, they’re trying to see what their Crimson credentials will net them on the open market of Craigslist.

Oh, they say that they’re looking for two dates, but I’m willing to bet just one woman could take them both on….

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Biglaw Blind Item: Making (It With A) Partner

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We begin this Biglaw blind item with a fairly familiar setup: a partner sleeping with an associate.

Shocking, right? Well, let’s add a few elements to the mix….

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Lawyerly Love Note of the Day: A Sad Sign of the Times

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You are so perfect, you make going to law school a good decision!

– A romantic line taken from a love note sent from one law student to another at a lower-tier law school.

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Lawyerly Lothario’s Lawsuit Against His Hot Exes Gets Tossed

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At the end of January, we brought you a detailed report on a lawsuit filed by former prosecutor and Court TV analyst Matthew Couloute Jr., who alleged that his ex-girlfriends had taken to the internet to let loose about his alleged infidelities. His exes’ scathing words were found on LiarsCheatersRUs, a website created to “save others from the heartache” associated with a cheating significant other.

In his suit, Couloute alleged that his former girlfriends, Amanda Ryncarz and Stacey Blitsch, had caused “tortious interference with [his] prospective business relations” by virtue of their online diatribes. After all, if you Google any derivative of the man’s name, one of the first few hits that appears is his profile on the scandalous cheaters website.

All the man wanted was a clean Google search, but it looks like he’s never heard of the Streisand effect. Now, just about every piece of information about Couloute that can be found on the web relates to his lawsuit, including the latest ruling made by Judge Harold Baer….

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