Rudeness

April’s showers were supposed to bring May’s flowers, but last month turned out to be nothing but doom and gloom for the legal world. Not only did we get to see the biggest collapse of a law firm in U.S. history, but we also caught a glimpse of some of the worst allegations of attorney misconduct that we’ve seen in quite some time.

So, which attorney called opposing counsel an “ignorant slut”? Who busied himself with drawing pictures of male genitalia during a deposition? Which attorney wrote a letter to a former opponent in order to call him an “a-hole”? And who referred to a female attorney as the c-word?

Find out this, and more, when you check out our nominees for May’s Lawyer of the Month competition….

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Based on the number of submissions we’ve received — please don’t be offended if yours doesn’t make the cut — it seems you’re enjoying our Law License Plates series. Our last post on law-related vanity license plates was a little over a week ago, but we’re always looking for more photos. You can send them via email (subject line: “Vanity License Plate”).

Today, we’ll be writing about lawyers who spend so much time in the courtroom that they’ve decided to slap a verdict on their license plates — literally. And from the looks of it, these litigators’ verdicts have resulted in some pretty big monetary payouts. Unfortunately, it looks like only one of them could afford the “i”….

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For most luxury shoppers, a trip to Neiman Marcus is the stuff that dreams are made of. After all, bags overflowing with designer merchandise can usually put a smile on any face, no matter the cost. But for others, such a shopping excursion just serves as a reminder of all the sex, lies, and betrayal that go hand-in-hand with a bitter divorce.

Because apparently when your husband stops in to buy hundreds of thousands of dollars in merchandise year after year, it’s essential for your former personal shopper to allegedly swipe his “credit card” — over, and over, and over again….

At least that’s what one divorcée in Texas is alleging. She filed suit against Neiman Marcus after the luxury retailer refused to take back $1.4 million worth of gifts that she attempted to return after discovering her ex-husband’s alleged affair….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Divorcée Sues Neiman Marcus for Refusal to Accept Return of $1.4M in Gifts From Allegedly Cheating Ex-Husband”

Over on our sister site Dealbreaker, Bess Levin describes an angry letter to the president of the Piedmont Driving Club, a prestigious Atlanta country club. The letter alleges some incredible behavior by members of the Piedmont, including (but not limited to) naked golf (who cares?), a member picking up a golf ball with his butt cheeks (did they make MacGruber a member?), and a member “open[ing] his pants, pull[ing] out his penis, and slapp[ing] the passed-out member’s head with his penis” (WTF???).

Deadspin reports that the author of the letter is one John C. Weitnauer, and if you look him up, you’ll see he’s a partner at a Biglaw firm – one who apparently learned a modicum of lawyerly discretion, at least when it comes to keeping his Bird in his trousers. It does not appear that he intended for the letter to leak, but like so many Piedmont members out on the greens, leak it did.

Check out the salacious allegations in the full letter, which reads like an issue-spotter for a Torts or Crim Law final exam, over on Dealbreaker…

We’ve written time and again about the dangers of using the reply-all email function, but it seems that those in Biglaw just can’t take the hint. It’s how allegedly lecherous Quinn Emanuel partners get outed. It’s how apparently discontent MoFo partners share their feelings about the firm. It’s how Skadden partners make their evaluations of associates less than confidential.

And now, it’s how senior associates at Clifford Chance implore their colleagues to stop furiously masturbating to them….

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They don't make these for your mouth.

Somebody skipped his medication. Or at least wants you to believe that he skipped his meds.

A man accused of stabbing his girlfriend to death had a bit of a nutty in a California courtroom last week. I’m calling it a “nutty” because the man is accused of stabbing his girlfriend 20 times — that’s full “insanity,” which is what the defense lawyers are pleading.

But I’m not sure that the defendant helped his insanity bona fides with his display in court. A profanity-laced nutty does not an insanity defense make….

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When you’re getting ready to walk down the aisle to say “I do,” you should probably make sure that your soon-to-be spouse isn’t getting ready to walk — or worse yet, run — the other way.

You may remember that back in March 2011, a jilted lawyer bride sued her ex-fiancé after he dumped her, leaving her to deal with all the wedding expenses for an event that never happened. And as it turns out, according to today’s news, men aren’t the only ones capable of standing up their future mates at the altar.

In a case of love gone bad, consulting firm exec Steven Silverstein alleges that his former fiancée, Kendra Platt-Lee, took his money and ran. Instead of saying “I do,” he was instead forced to say “I sue.”

Let’s take a closer look at the lawsuit — the ex-groom behind it, and the attractive woman who apparently broke both his heart and his wallet….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Ex-Hooters Girl Says ‘I Don’t,’ So Her Jilted Bridegroom Sues”

Based on the number of submissions we’ve received — please don’t be offended if yours doesn’t make the cut — it seems you’re enjoying our Law License Plates series. Our last post on law-related vanity license plates was about one month ago, but we’re always looking for more photos. You can send them via email (subject line: “Vanity License Plate”).

Today, we’ll be writing about lawyers who spend so much time in a courtroom that they’ve decided to brand their vehicles with the evidence. Both of these submissions came to us from California, where a career in trial practice (both before and behind the bench) seems to be as hot as the soaring temperatures.

Let’s take a look at what these legal eagles are advertising on their license plates, shall we?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Law License Plates: ‘I Object, Yo Honor!’”

Everything's more inappropriate in Texas?

I think a lot of normal men have been in this position: another guy says something horrible about your female friend or colleague, expecting that you will go along. It makes you very uncomfortable in the moment — because your knuckles stopped dragging on the pavement years ago. Then it makes you extremely uncomfortable later when you see the female friend or colleague, and you have to decide whether or not to tell her the horrible things being said about her by these other people.

It happens more than you think, and most of the times most guys just keep it to themselves. There’s no upside to telling a woman all of the things guys say, most of the time. But sometimes, ironically, especially when it happens in a professional context, you have to tell your female colleague what other professionals are saying about her, just so she’s not blindsided as she tries to go about her job.

Maybe some people would consider it a violation of the “bro code,” but one lawyer seems to think that the code is a viable defense in court. Sanctions are being sought against a divorce lawyer who has allegedly been saying horrible things about female lawyers, and when he got called out, he responded in court that he never said any of that stuff “to their faces.”

And, of course, this is going down in Texas….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Texas Lawyer Allegedly Calls Opposing Counsel The C-Word, But Says It To Her Male Colleagues So He Thinks It’s Okay”

When it comes to the madness that ensues during the deposition process, we really thought that we had seen it all. We’ve seen witnesses curse at the questioners. We’ve seen a deponent tell an attorney to “suck [his] dick.” We’ve even seen a former Biglaw partner call his opposing counsel an “ignorant slut.” But we’ve never seen something like this.

Apparently when attorneys in Florida get bored during depositions, they turn to their artistic side to get their creative juices flowing. Because there’s nothing like a great dick pic to bring your attention back to the case at hand….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Things That Might Get You Thrown Off a Case: Drawing Dick Pics During Depositions at Dunkin’ Donuts”

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