Recent Headlines from Above the Law
When: November 6. Where: Washington, D.C. Be there or be square.
In honor of the Simpsons marathon let’s introduce each of these with a Simpsons quote.
* Dr. Hibbert: And hillbillies want to be called “Sons of the Soil,” but it ain’t gonna happen. — BofA wants that $1.3 billion verdict tossed as “unreasonable.” [Law360]
* Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, I have had it, I have had it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children! — Suffolk University fired its president just days before school began. I’d like to think it was over their subway ads. In any event, the interim president seems to get the problem: “‘I don’t think there’s growth there,’ he said, referring to [law school] enrollment.” [Boston Globe]
* Homer: Barney’s movie had heart, but “Football in the Groin” had a football in the groin — College football kicked off last night (or Wednesday if we cared about Georgia State), so check in with the lawyer for the USC player who pretended he injured himself saving his nephew’s life. [Deadspin]
* Lionel Hutz: There’s the truth and… the truth! — Bracewell & Giuliani partner, Glenn A. Ballard Jr., got benchslapped in Texas for “an affront to this court, to the other parties and to judicial integrity.” Everything’s bigger in Texas. [Houston Chronicle]
* Chief Wiggum: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah blah. — After Philip Seymour Hoffman’s overdose, the police actually arrested a jazz musician. He got no jail time after he hired a new lawyer, Alex Spiro, who went after the cops for taking advantage of his client. [NY Daily News]
* Jimbo: You let me down, man. Now I don’t believe in nothing no more. I’m going to law school. — Professor Campos wonders if American University law school will sue students who drop out or transfer? [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* The Minnesota Republican party banned their own candidate for Supreme Court from the State Fair. I just feel bad that she’ll never know who won the prize pig competition. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]
* Lawyers are narcissists and that’s not good for their careers. [Law and More]
* A writer figures out that American University’s Law School is a trap. [Washington City Paper]
* Disturbing video of a judge ordering the illegal assault and arrest of a disabled, indigent litigant. The fact that this is the second “judge assaults a litigant” incident I’ve written about in a week is terrifying. [Sacramento Family Court News]
* Steph Cha’s new tale of old school noir, Beware Beware (affiliate link), is now available. Its setting is “a picture of desolation, of crushed dreams dressed in grimy fourth-hand garments.” And yet, somehow she’s not talking about the last days of Dewey. [LA Times]
* If you’re doing some kind of charity, do us a favor and shut up about it. [What About Clients]
* A Connecticut lawyer was barred from ever representing women again for the rest of his career. Now he may be disbarred for breaking that simple condition. [Connecticut Law Tribune]
* Clearly we’ve got some problems, Cleary: Following Argentina’s default, the country is being advised to drop the law firm that said it was a good idea to default in the first place. [The Guardian]
* Lawyers have been flocking to Ferguson, Missouri, left and right to serve as “the eyes and ears of those who protect and guarantee civil rights.” That’s nice, but it’s kind of not working. [National Law Journal]
* “I really don’t know how the people who work there can keep a sense of sort of personal dignity.” American Law plunged in the rankings because of its “dubious employment prospects.” Ouch. [Washington City Paper]
* In case you’ve been wondering what the NFL’s response to all of the cheerleader wage-and-hour complaints are, here it is: “Labor law? LOL. The NFL is immune from state labor law.” [NBC Bay Area]
* Apparently there’s a national court-reporting championship that the world has been missing out on — until now. There was a major upset this year, and a new winner was crowned. Congrats! [WSJ Law Blog]
This school needs to learn that you can be ‘diverse’ and ‘good’ at the same time.
Deans try to explain away low U.S. News rankings.
An aquatic look at which law firms’ alumni have the top spots at the largest U.S. law firms.
Arent Fox, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Education / Schools, Family Law, In-House Counsel, Law Professors, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Pro Bono, Securities and Exchange Commission, Securities Law, Student Loans
* Though she be but little, she is fierce! Under Mary Jo White’s guidance, the Securities and Exchange Committee is now cracking down on financial fraud with a vengeance. [DealBook / New York Times]
* When a Biglaw firm’s chairman skeptically says, “Uh, OK, I mean, maybe,” with regard to a future increased demand for legal work, you know things are bad. We’ll have more on this later today. [New Republic]
* With Detroit’s downfall, vultures are swooping in left and right to snag clients. Firms retained thus far include Weil Gosthal, Arent Fox, Kirkland & Ellis, Winston & Strawn, and Sidley Austin. [Reuters]
* “I’m not a 100% sure this is legal.” Two law professors have come up with a revolutionary way for law students to finance legal education that sounds like it just might work. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* Normally when Biglaw firms and legal departments go to court over contested litigation, something’s gone wrong, but this summer, they’re trying to do some good in the world. [National Law Journal]
* Soon, it’ll be known as Western Michigan University Thomas M. Cooley Law School, but even with a new name, you’re still going to be Cooley, and there’s no recovery from that. [Lansing State Journal]
* In Greenwich, Connecticut, the fact that people buy homes where they want their kids to go to school isn’t a “complicated concept.” The schools’ racial diversity, on the other hand, is. [New York Times]