Above the Law

Recent Headlines from Above the Law

 

What can I get you?Millennials are mad as hell, and they’re not going to take it anymore! Or get that reference!

Well, at least one is. The always entertaining “millennial op-ed” showed up in a business magazine this morning. After reading an entire Crain’s Business feature full of anecdotal evidence from millennials about how “screwed” they are in the current job market, a different millennial wrote an op-ed citing anecdotal evidence about how she’s… unscrewed.

While the feature piece focused on young people who were bartenders, nannys, and “perma-students,” the counter-narrative comes from a millennial who is a 2L in law school. And everything is going to work out for her, don’t ya know…

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Dinesh D’Souza

* The United States is launching air strikes against ISIS in Syria and Iraq, but some have been compelled to wonder whether it’s legal under international law. Of course it’s legal, under the Rule of ‘MERICA, F*CK YEAH! [BBC]

* Dewey know whether this failed firm’s former COO can get out of paying $9.3M to its bankruptcy trustee? Dewey know whether we’ll ever be able to stop using this pun? Sadly, the answer to both questions is no. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Marc Dreier of the defunct Dreier LLP has been ordered to testify in person in his firm’s bankruptcy case in Manhattan, but he’d rather stay in the comforts of his prison home in Minnesota. Aww. [Bloomberg]

* Dinesh D’Souza won’t have to do hard prison time for his campaign-finance violations. Instead, he’ll be spending eight months in a “community confinement center,” which sounds just peachy. [New York Times]

* Northwestern Law is launching a campaign to fundraise $150M to be spent on an endless supply of Chick-fil-A sandwiches financial aid for students and curriculum improvements. [National Law Journal]

Chick-fil-A: tastes like hate?

Every year, law students find themselves at odds with each other thanks to the convenience of school-wide listservs. Where else can you spew all of your vitriol at classmates with just the click of a button? Welcome to law school, folks.

Perhaps the most storied law school listserv belongs to Northwestern University School of Law, where the “PC Police” live to serve. As we’ve noted in the past, “[t]he school seems to have a number of students who are easily offended. Some of the kids there overreact at the slightest provocation.”

So what happens when something that’s actually offensive occurs? For example, what do you think would happen if a conservative student group like the Federalist Society were to host a debate on same-sex marriage, with food catered by Chick-fil-A? As you can imagine, students lost their minds…

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It’s not much of a secret that women are routinely paid less than their male counterparts in the United States — to the tune of about 20 percent. It’s such a non-secret that even those who call the gap a “myth” don’t actually deny it as much as say “who cares?” Which makes the word “myth” more of a PR move to sell a license to be a prick. Usually literally.

More of a secret is the fact that even bastions of self-described enlightenment participate in this system. For example, academia. A new report by research site FindTheBest discovered that some of the top universities in the country — most boasting law schools — systematically underpaid female faculty.

And one law school clocked a $44,000/year pay gap between male and female faculty, making it the second-worst offender in the study….

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* 8 reasons that lawyers are like condoms. Not included: on the inside, they’re just dicks. [Legal Cheek]

* A bunch of reporters that no one reads anymore take out their frustrations on SCOTUSblog for having the audacity to be good at its job. [ABA Journal]

* Presented without commentary — a dean is not pleased with us. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Jobs for law grads may be scarce, but WSJ wants you to know that Biglaw specifically is hiring again. So for a few of you, you’re set until you try to lateral. [Gawker]

* Deluding yourself is a valuable career strategy. [Law and More]

* Guy is suing an airline because he went to Grenada when he wanted to go to Granada. This gave me a great excuse to rematch the classic Newhart episode, Oh, THAT Morrocco. [Daily Mail]

* A woman who tried to save some ducklings now faces life in prison. The moral of the story, as always, is screw animals. [USA Today]

* The real winner in the protracted courtship of Patton Boggs was Akin Gump. [Washingtonian]

* Teaching the law has suffered because of the influx of stupid “Law and…” courses. [TaxProf Blog]

* But Oklahoma knows how to fix the problems with law school — give you an iPad! Video below… [YouTube]

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There’s a curious case making the rounds today involving a top law school, its LL.M. program, and a convicted con man.

Mauricio Celis was convicted in 2009 for pretending to be a lawyer in Texas. Celis said that he was barred in Mexico but authorities contended that he was not, though Celis maintains his innocence.

In any event, after his conviction for unauthorized practice of law, he went to get an LL.M. After he enrolled, paid money, and spent months in the program, the school found out about his conviction and expelled him before graduation. After expulsion, Celis essentially filed an Adam Sandler-style lawsuit against the school, arguing that this was news that could have been brought to his attention yesterday.

While most of the internet is reacting with antipathy towards Celis, I’m going to defend the man. If schools weren’t so desperate to cash in on foreigners through expensive LL.M programs, they might have noticed the easily available public information about Celis’s past…

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The whole world has ground to a halt to watch the World Cup. Except of course in the United States, where the World Cup is mostly a curiosity to fill our days now that the NBA and NHL have finished their seasons.

Perhaps you’d pay closer attention if you had a guide to the teams that gave you a personal stake in a given squad. Without further ado, here’s an explanation of which law schools most closely resemble World Cup sides…

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‘Should I go to law school? Nah, I don’t want to be poor.’

Last year, there was such a substantial national decline [in law school applicants], and a lot of law school deans said, “It’s got to be the bottom of the market, right?” People assume there has to be an uptick, because there’ll be a recovery and students will see an opportunity to get into better schools. But then a year goes by and there’s an additional decline. I will say this: The preliminary data I’ve seen on the students who have taken the LSAT this year suggests that we’re not seeing a big recovery — let’s put it that way.

– Dean Daniel B. Rodriguez of Northwestern Law, in an interview where he discussed the problems that law schools face in the post-recession world.

* 5 reasons why Northwestern football won’t really unionize. [The Legal Blitz]

* Law grad who failed the bar arrested for claiming to be a lawyer. So much for Jimmy Malone’s advice… [Albany Times Union]

* This morning we wrote about a lawyer turned babysitter. Jane Genova has some thoughts on how this story can have a happy ending. [Law and More]

* This is why you don’t get tattoos. [The Independent]

* Sitting judge should be on “high” court — listed as president of three different pot-related businesses. [Las Vegas Law Blog]

* The Second Circuit is not pleased with the secrecy of the Obama administration. [The New Republic]

* Corporette launches a new motherhood newsletter. She’s looking for guest bloggers too if you’re passionate about these issues. [Corporette]

* Another argument for killing law school. [The Week]

* Kash Hill looks at a Loyola Law grad who hunts down revenge porn sites. [Forbes]

* Lorne Michaels has a new courtroom comedy webseries starring Bob Balaban. The first episode is embedded below….

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The NCAA claims to be committed to a “culture of personal responsibility and individual accountability.” Unfortunately that culture does not extend to its leadership, who whine and bully with the best of them when the law doesn’t let them indulge their every whim.

Witness the NCAA’s annual Final Four address over the weekend. NCAA President Mark Emmert and Big 12 commissioner Bob Bowlsby told the press that they are prepared to forfeit millions rather than accede to a legal obligation to share any revenue with players. This isn’t the first time NCAA Bigwigs have lobbed the threat of blowing up their own cash cow rather than share with the kids risking injury in the gladiatorial pit for the benefit of universities. Last year, Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany said that his schools would quit Division I athletics if the Ed O’Bannon case rules that schools can’t unilaterally sell the likenesses of players for profit.

There’s a certain majesty in being so committed to cutting off your nose to spite your face….

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