* Florida State QB Jameis Winston was not charged with sexual assault after a nearly year-long investigation (well, it happened a year ago… it sounds like no one did much investigating at that time). What comes next? I mean aside from FSU demolishing their next two opponents. [Sports Illustrated]
* Sadly, former South African president and civil rights leader Nelson Mandela has passed away. University of Maryland Law School, go ahead and let the world know… [CNN]
* America’s probably unstable, definitely troubled sweetheart Amanda Bynes is coming closer and closer to a plea deal over her infamous bong toss. [New York Post]
* A lawyer-turned-candidate provides the optimist’s guide to running for office. For the pessimist’s guide see John McCain’s, “Jesus, I Picked Who?” [Huffington Post]
* Next week, the Court will hear argument on EPA v. EME Homer City Generation. This is why you should care. [Constitutional Accountability Center]
* People are super mad about the NYPD’s new “Stop and Kiss” program. The program only exists in The Onion, but that doesn’t stop most people from making unsolicited, snap decisions that no one asked them to make. At press, the Second Circuit had already preemptively barred Judge Shira Scheindlin from hearing any case on the fictional program. [Gawker]
* Speaking of the NYPD, Mayor-Elect Bill De Blasio, who ran on a platform of reforming the NYPD, has named a new police commissioner and selected… one of Giuliani’s old police commissioners. Way to go, champ! Seriously, there are law enforcement professionals out there capable of running the NYPD beyond the last couple guys who ran it. This is like buying a marquee NFL team and saying, “I hear Norv Turner is available.” [Salon]
* Professor David E. Bernstein contributed an essay on the Lochner decision to the new book Toward an American Conservatism: Constitutional Conservatism during the Progressive Era (affiliate link). [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* An interview with this Yale Law beatboxer. Did we mention he’s a bald Jewish kid? Well, he is. [JTA]
* David and Elie talked to Bloomberg about bonuses. Video embedded after the jump…
Who is this rising political star rumored to be dating? She’s got beauty and the brains to match…
Here are some highlights for Chief Judge Kozinski’s remarks at Yale Law School yesterday.
* A proposal to raise the retirement age for judges in New York was crushed by voters, but Chief Judge Jonathan Lippman has vowed to continue fighting the requirement — just like a stubborn old man. [New York Law Journal]
* Which law schools have the highest percentage of graduates working as corporate directors or executive officers of companies? You might be surprised by some of the results. Or you might not. [National Law Journal]
* Dean Lawrence Mitchell of Case Western Reserve Law wants parts of the retaliation suit that’s been filed against him tossed for being “scandalous” and “salacious.” But those are the best parts. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
* Thanks to a $25 million donation from an alumnus and his wife, Yale Law School is going to be getting dormitories for law students in the very near future. The thought of all of those coed nerdgasms between future SCOTUS clerks is a thing of beauty. [Fox News]
* Clark Calvin Griffith, the former adjunct professor at William Mitchell Law, has been suspended from practicing law for 90 days after exposing his penis to a law student. Stiff punishment. [Pioneer Press]
* If you were thinking of giving away guns on Facebook, then you should think again. The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun on the internet is with slideshows of the 572 best kitty cat gifs. [Corporate Counsel]
* A police officer in Arkansas ordered a woman to flash him her boobs while she was at work, and when she refused, he allegedly Tasered her repeatedly. She’s obviously suing now. [New York Daily News]
Which law schools and feeder judges produced the most Supreme Court clerks for October Term 2013?
Do we need to engage in rulemaking to stop people who dine and dash from law school events?
How do you and your significant other compare to these three high-powered couples?
* Airport security has forbidden joking about bombs and hijacking. Now TSA is cracking down on joking about TSA itself. In the interest of my next flight, “I love you, TSA!” [Daily Mail]
* A detailed analysis of the 14th Amendment’s role in the debt ceiling debate. President Obama should employ this solution now before the Supreme Court realizes there’s another part of the 14th Amendment they can overturn. [Main Street]
* Law school professors do not take kindly to your antics. [Law Prof Blog]
* A Cooley Law professor is arguing against gay rights. Sorry, a Western Michigan Law professor is arguing against gay rights. [Pride Source]
* The rules don’t apply to Yale or Harvard. Or at least the rules don’t apply to their law reviews. [Professor Bainbridge]
* Congress is still trying to decide how to regulate FM radio instead of looking at salient issues in modern copyright law. Given how brilliantly they keep the government open, maybe FM radio is the biggest issue we should give them right about now. [The Daily Caller]
* The lawyer as generalist is fading into obscurity. Let’s commemorate it in poetry, shall we? [Poetic Justice]
* A preview of some upcoming Supreme Court cases this week. Complete with cartoons! [The Spark File]
* Finally, here’s a little gem for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg fans that we got….
* If the government shuts down and then defaults on its debt, Wall Street worries that it would “shake the foundations of the global financial system.” Hooray for political asshattery! [DealBook / New York Times]
* At least six of the Supreme Court’s judicial precedents are up for reconsideration in the upcoming Term, and high court commentators think the resulting decisions could be a mixed bag. [National Law Journal]
* Apparently low-income New Yorkers’ legal problems are “not worthy of a ‘real lawyer,’” or at least that’s the message that will be given if non-lawyers are allowed to provide legal services. [New York Law Journal]
* Sorry, lady, not enough prestige. A Brazilian journalist was allegedly on the receiving end of some “extremely violent” police behavior at Yale Law School after attempting to interview Justice Joaquim Barbosa at a private event. [The Guardian]
* Mark Cuban’s insider trading case is heading to trial today, but we genuinely wonder how he’ll be able to convince a jury that he’s “humble and affable,” rather than the “master of the universe.” [Boston Herald]
* With a government shutdown looming, the Supreme Court will likely go about business as usual. In fact, Justice Alito is rolling his eyes at the mere concept of closing the Court’s doors as we speak. [SCOTUSblog]
* But in the meantime, both the Department of Justice and the federal judiciary are hunkering down and waiting for the collapse of law and order thanks to all of our petulant politicians in Washington, D.C. [Blog of Legal Times]
* Justice Scalia thinks the NSA’s surveillance programs may come before SCOTUS for an examination of a “right of privacy that comes from penumbras and emanations, blah blah blah, garbage.” [Associated Press]
* Perhaps it’s due to the “hangover from the collapse of the markets in 2008,” but white-collar defense practices are on the rise in Biglaw, and the firms’ leaders could not be happier. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Another law school ranking just means there’s another way for Yale to whoop Harvard’s ass. Now we know that Lat’s alma mater is slightly better at producing law deans than Elie’s. [National Law Journal]
* A motion to dismiss has been filed, and now Jill Kelley, the Florida socialite who assisted in bringing about the end of General David Petraeus’s career in the CIA, is watching her legal case unravel. [CNN]
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“[P]eople should be very careful what they decide to write on a discussion board. Remember, I was an FBI agent …” – Asha Rangappa – Associate Dean of Admissions, Yale Law
See more at AdmissionsDean.