Delightful links, hand-picked with loving care by Stella Q, will appear later today. For now, here a few other quick links that caught our eye recently:
* Curious about how many Americans share your full name? Now you can find out. [TaxProf Blog]
* “Zagat’s for prisons.” Good stuff. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Professor Dimino wants to know: What’s the most frivolous lawsuit or argument you’ve encountered? (A regular diet of them is served up over here; but we’re sure that countless examples remain undiscovered.) [PrawfsBlawg]
* “Dukakis would have picked up at least 3 states if it had come out that he’d partied with Playboy bunnies.” [Instapundit]
* Wiccans don’t have standing? Give them some eye of newt and wing of bat, and they’ll conjure some up in a jiffy. [Associated Press via How Appealing]
* Camille Paglia: Love her or loathe her, she’s always interesting and fun to read. Especially when writing about the Mark Foley scandal. [Althouse]
* Fun with Enron emails: “Certainly all of you can stop shredding documents for 5 minutes to respond.” [Enron Explorer via WSJ Law Blog]
* Think Jeff Skilling got too harsh a sentence? You’re not alone. [DealBreaker]
Sentencing Law
- Email Scandals, Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, Non-Sequiturs, Politics, Ridiculousness, Sentencing Law, Sex Scandals, White-Collar Crime
Supplemental Non-Sequiturs: 10.27.06
By David LatOur little throwaway post from yesterday afternoon — about three nuke-protesting nuns, who previously served prison terms for their protests, and who may be returning to prison for refusing to pay restitution to the military — prompted several reader comments.
The discussion turned dangerously substantive. The law of restitution was discussed; actual statutes were cited. What the heck is going on?
We’ll leave theories of punishment and technical legal issues to people who know better (e.g., sentencing gurus Doug Berman and Dan Markel). We have some practical advice to offer the Dominican sisters.
Ladies: Having a hard time coming up with $3,000 in restitution? Yeah, that vow of poverty is a bitch. But here’s an idea: Sell the movie rights to your story, and make restitution out of the proceeds.
The cinematic possibilities are endless. Here are three:
1. A Susan Sarandon star vehicle. ‘Cause Sarandon loves to get her “crusading nun” on. See, e.g., Dead Man Walking.
A nun who goes to prison for dousing missile silos with her own blood — then goes to prison again, for refusing to pay blood money to the military? Hello, Oscar!!! (Bonus points if Sarandon frumps herself up and gains twenty pounds for the role.)
2. A comedy starring Whoopi Goldberg. Working title: “Sister Acting Up: Back in the Habit (of Destroying Federal Property).”
Whoopi hasn’t had a hit in years; but this could turn things around for her. As all of Hollywood knows: Nuns + Nuclear Weapons = Box Office Gold!
3. An updating of The Sound of Music. Think “post-modern movie musical,” a la Moulin Rouge. It would be set in a nuclear missile storage facility instead of the Austrian hills. Maria, a young Dominican nun, goes to an anti-nuclear weapons protest. She meets a handsome fellow protestor, George Von Trapp — a widower with seven kids.
Von Trapp asks Maria to babysit when he has to attend a protest in another city. Maria hits it off with the kids, then falls in love with Von Trapp. After much agonizing, she decides to leave her religious order to “follow her heart.”
But then Maria is arrested, jailed, and convicted on federal charges of malicious destruction of property and interfering with the national defense. Bummer!
The climactic scene takes place at the sentencing hearing. The exasperated judge turns to defense counsel and asks: “How do I solve a problem like Maria?”
Maria’s defense lawyer responds by calling the seven Von Trapp kids to the stand. They testify seriatim about how wonderful Maria is, how they can’t go on without her, etc. Deeply moved by their testimony, the judge sentences Maria to time served. Hooray!
Earlier: These Nuns Deserve a Break Today
This strikes us as a bit unreasonable:
A federal judge has rejected the community-service plans he requested 10 months ago from three nuns convicted of hurting national defense when they protested U.S. nuclear policies at a missile silo. That means Dominican Sisters Ardeth Platte, Carol Gilbert and Jackie Hudson could face more time in jail if they refuse to pay $3,082 in restitution to the Air Force.
“We are surprised. I’m trying to make sense of it,” Platte, 70, said Monday after learning of the decision by U.S. District Court Judge Robert Blackburn. “There’s no way we could pay the military. It would be impossible for us to give money to the military because of what they would do with it. And the judge knows that. He knows our conscience.”
It’s not like these nuns have escaped without punishment for their protest. The three sisters have already served significant prison terms — of 30, 33, and 41 months — and have collectively performed “more than 148 YEARS of combined community service, including counseling inmates and raising $600,000 in charitable contributions for literacy programs, soup kitchens and aid for victims of disasters.”
(And doesn’t the federal restitution statute require the district court to consider the defendants’ ability to pay? We’re talking about Dominican nuns here. Haven’t they taken a vow of poverty?)
Nuns May Land Back in Prison As Judge Insists on Restitution [Denver Post via How Appealing]
We’re all in favor of innovation in criminal sentencing. But this struck us as a little weird:
After a judge convicted him of sexually abusing a 15-year-old student, teacher Malcolm Watson was offered two punishment options: an American jail cell or exile to Canada.
Mr. Watson chose Canada.
The unusual sentence, which has immigration lawyers questioning its legality, means that Mr. Watson, 35, must stay out of the United States for the next three years. A U.S. citizen who taught at the elite Buffalo Seminary girls’ school, he has a Canadian wife and family.
They send us oil, maple syrup, and Alanis Morissette; we send them child molesters. Fair trade at its finest. Yay NAFTA!
Some of you might say that Watson is getting off — hehe — a bit easy. We see your point. After all, Canada boasts the world’s largest shopping mall. And the West Edmonton Mall is surely high on the sightseeing list of an aficionado of fifteen-year-old girls.
Sentence for Sexual Abuse: Three Years’ Exile in Canada [Toronto Globe & Mail]
Get out of town. On second thought, make that the country. [PrawfsBlawg]
Banishment as an alternative sentence, eh? [Sentencing Law and Policy]
U.S. Judge: Spend Three Years in Canada, Avoid One Year in Jail [WSJ Law Blog]
(Gavel Bang: All links from How Appealing’s comprehensive round-up.)
Really, really long.* To wit, 292 months long. For the mathematically challenged among you, that’s 24 years and four months. Ouch.
But given the size and scope of the Enron fraud, the lengthy sentence may be appropriate (even if it’s higher than many Wall Streeters expected). You can compare Jeffrey Skilling’s sentence to those of other leading white-collar criminals over at the WSJ Law Blog.
* We briefly contemplated a far more crude cinematic allusion, involving this movie, but thought better of it.
Skilling Sentenced to 24 Years in Prison [Associated Press]
Skilling Gets 24 Years [DealBreaker]
Skilling’s Sentence: 24 Years, 4 months [WSJ Law Blog]
- 9th Circuit, Defamation, Drugs, Eminent Domain, Football, Law Schools, Marijuana, Morning Docket, Sentencing Law
Morning Docket: 10.16.06
By B Clerker* The Ninth Circuit has issued an opinion and order upholding a conscience-shocking 159-year sentence it wishes it didn’t have to affirm. Our opinion is saying no, but our order is saying yes, yes, yes! [Los Angeles Times via How Appealing]
* The world of law school rankings used to be so innocent. With all the Big Ten schools in Group 1, it’s like this year’s football rankings. [TaxProf Blog]
* Apparently blogs contain “sexually explicit language, libelous or defamatory commentary, and outrageous language.” ATL apologizes to all affected employees of the Interior Department. [Federal Times via Volokh Conspiracy]
* Hey, just as long as they don’t crack down on fantasy football websites. [Baltimore Business Journal]
* Speaking of which, if there are two things lawyers and law students while away their non-billables doing, they’re reading ATL and managing fantasy football teams. So you might as well get some advice on the latter from the former. It’s the year of the WR, so start looking at picking up a sleeper such as Berrian, Jennings, Johnson, Cotchery, Brown, Furrey, Jurevicius, Clayton 1, Clayton 2 . . .
* Looks like Kelo v. New London is this year’s defense of marriage, paving the way for eminent domain’s debut on 12 state ballots. [Christian Science Monitor]
* From “[t]he state that gave the world butterfly ballots and the hanging chad,” get ready for another front in the battle of the ballot. How about this: “Dear voters, in order to cast your ballot for the Republican candidate, please mark the box beside ‘Pat Buchanan.’” [Reuters]
* Medical marijuana can prevent Alzheimer’s, apparently. “Those afflicted with Alzheimer’s suffer from memory loss, impaired decision-making,” and misinterpreting commerce clause jurisprudence. [CNN]
North Korea now has nukes. Happy Columbus Day!
A number of you — e.g., federal government employees — are probably enjoying a day off right now. But for those of you who are stuck in the office and looking for distraction, you can always count on us to provide it.
* A California appeals court has ruled that prosecutrix Joyce Dudley must be disqualified from a rape case that may have served, at least in part, as the basis for a crime novel she wrote. If you can judge a book by its cover, Dudley’s book — Intoxicating Agent — is kinda schlocky. Current Amazon sales rank: #1,591,294. [New York Times; The Recorder]
* For more highbrow reading by a lawyer-turned-writer, check out Brad Snyder’s new book, A Well-Paid Slave: Curt Flood’s Fight for Free Agency in Professional Sports — just reviewed quite favorably by David Margolick for the New York Times. Current Amazon sales rank: #2,235 (and climbing). [New York Times]
(Disclosure: Brad Snyder, who manages the impressive feat of being simultaneously brilliant and super-cool, was our law school classmate. He’s also a former Ninth Circuit clerk, for Judge Dorothy Nelson.)
* Some advice for aspiring federal judges (at least as long as the Senate stays Republican): Steer clear of those lesbian commitment ceremonies. [Grand Rapids Press via How Appealing]
* Paula Rieker — the attractive, Starbucks-savoring former Enron-ista (see photo) — gets a break at sentencing: two years of probation, instead of ten years in prison. Caramel macchiatos all around! [Associated Press]
* Tenth Circuit Chief Judge Deanell Reece Tacha — who is a woman, and whose last name is pronounced ” TAH-ha” — has been appointed to the Executive Committee of the Judicial Conference of the United States, a top policy-making body for the federal courts. [Topeka Capital-Journal via How Appealing]
* More details emerge about the Robert Wone murder in Washington, DC. Wone was a prominent, promising young Asian-American attorney — general counsel at Radio Free Asia, and a former Covington & Burling associate — who was murdered under highly suspicious circumstances this past summer. [Washington Post]
Howard Bashman offers a preview of the upcoming Supreme Court Term at Law.com. And based on the cases on the oral argument calendar so far, October Term 2006 isn’t looking terribly exciting. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Here’s our irreverent digest of Bashman’s lengthier analysis:
Lopez v. Gonzales, Toledo-Flores v. United States: Question presented: What kind of drug crime can get a guy booted back to Mexico? (If this sounds familiar, it should; every Term the Court has some Latino-surnamed case raising a variant of this issue.)
Ornaski v. Belmontes: Question presented: How early in the Term can Judge Reinhardt get reversed?
MedImmune, Inc. v. Genentech, Inc. Question presented: In order for a patent licensee to litigate the validity of a patent, can they merely flip the patent holder the bird, or do they actually have to go ahead and breach the license agreement?
BP America Production Co. v. Watson: Question presented: Have you ever heard of the federal Mineral Leasing Act — and if so, do you care? (We didn’t think so.)
More case summaries, after the jump.
Continue reading “The Upcoming SCOTUS Term: More of the Same”
-
Sponsored Content
The Grooming Goods You Need to Crush the Interview
Presented by Birchbox
Watch to find out what some of our subscribers received in their May box!The proper hair styling product might just be the only thing standing between you and your dream job. And the best way to find what works for you is to try the best stuff on the market. Join Birchbox Man for $20 a month and you’ll get customized shipments of the best grooming and lifestyle gear on the market every month—everything from haircare and shaving supplies to style accessories and tech gadgets.
As the leading discovery commerce platform, Birchbox is redefining the retail process by offering consumers a unique and personalized way to discover, learn about, and shop the best grooming and lifestyle products out there. It’s a full 360-degree process: try, learn, buy. Once you sign up and fill out your profile, head over to Birchbox Man’s online magazine to find article and video tutorials on how to get the most out your monthly box products. Pick up full-size versions of anything you like in the Birchbox Shop and earn points for every purchase.
Keep reading »Sponsored Content
The Asia Chronicles – ASSOCIATE AND IN-HOUSE OPENINGS IN HONG KONG / CHINA, JAPAN AND SINGAPORE
Presented by Kinney Recruiting
We currently have a number of active openings for associate roles at US and UK firms in HK / China, Singapore and two new in-house openings. As always, please feel free to reach out to us at asia@kinneyrecruiting.com in order to get details of current openings in Asia, as well as to discuss the Asia markets in general and what we expect for openings later this year. Our Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney will be in Beijing the week of March 25 and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong the week of April 1, if you would like to meet them in person.
The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
• 2nd to 5th year mandarin fluent M&A associates needed in Beijing and Hong Kong at several firms;
• Korean fluent 2nd to 4th year cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 5th year Japanese fluent M&A associates needed in Tokyo;
• 4th to 6th year mandarin fluent cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 4th year M&A / cap markets mix associate needed in Singapore.Also, we have the two below in-house openings:
Keep reading »Sponsored Content
Digital Canary in the Virtual Mine #2: What’s In Your Apps? Prying Eyes Are Ready To Discover . . .
Presented by AccessData
The last time I flapped my wings your way, I tried to make at least enough noise about your mobile phone to make you more than a little bit uncomfortable. I hope I did. If enough of us become anxious enough about the known and unknown unknowns and knowns in our mobile phones, then we can start making wise decisions about how to manage that information and its resultant investigations.Today, I’d like to put a finer point on the last installment’s topic by asking a question that seemed to catch most attendees off-guard at a conference panel that I moderated last week: is there discoverable personal information in a mobile app? Our panelists’ answer was a uniform “yes” with one stating that, if he had to choose only one type of data that he could discover from a mobile phone, he’d choose app data. Why? Because there’s simply so much of it and because almost all of it is objective – not just user-created like an email – but machine-tracked like GPS, usage duration, log in and log out times, browsed web addresses, browsed actual addresses. Also, most of us seem to have the idea that data doesn’t actually “stick” to our mobile devices the way it “sticks” to our hard drives. Maybe there’s a disconnect based on the fact that our phones are mobile so we assume the data is mobile to?
Keep reading » Video Profiles for Job Seekers
The traditional job application and interview process can be impersonal, and applicants often struggle to present themselves as more than just the sum of their GPAs, alma maters, and previous work history. ATL has partnered with ViewYou to help job seekers overcome this challenge. ViewYou NOW Profiles offer a unique way for job seekers to make a personal, memorable connection with prospective employers: introduction videos. These videos allow job candidates to display their personalities, interpersonal skills, and professional interests, creating an eDossier to brand themselves to potential employers all over the world. Check it out today!
