Yeah yeah yeah, we know, we’re not supposed to be making a federal case out of an affair. But this one’s just so juicy that we couldn’t resist.
On the one side, we’ve got national security analyst, author, and side piece Paula Broadwell sending harassing emails to social liaison and “honorary consul general” Jill Kelley, telling the party planner to butt out of her relationship with former CIA Director David Petraeus. On the other side, we’ve got Jill Kelley exchanging hundreds of “flirtatious” emails with General John Allen, the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan.
And stuck in the middle of this gigantic hot mess (aka the Petraeus Pentagon) is Jill Kelley’s twin sister, Natalie Khawam, who just so happens to be a lawyer — a lawyer who’s been characterized by a judge as “psychologically unstable.”
How can this possibly get any better? It’s like we’re watching a new Real Housewives series play out in real life. Attractive women (and twins!), sex, scandal… the only thing that’s missing is money.
Well, we know how our readers love money, so we’ve got the dirt on Ms. Khawam’s cash (or lack thereof)….
* Progress would involve getting cops to stop beating people up just for fun. [Simple Justice]
* James Dolan, already one of the worst owners in professional sports, is now sticking to the letter of the Cablevision contract and requiring customers to call in to tell them when Sandy knocked out their service if they want a refund. [Gawker]
* The Electric Chair movie sounds horrifying, but so does the death penalty. [Underdog]
* Check me out on this podcast and hear my passionate and slightly drunken defense of David Petraeus. I do not think that there is an epidemic of generals being blackmailed over their affairs. [Recess Appointments]
* Deep in the heart of Texas, plans are in the works for the state’s secession from the nation via online petition. The most likely White House response? Probably something like this: “HAHAHAHAHAHA!” [Hillicon Valley / The Hill]
* Paula Broadwell, better known as ex-CIA director David Petraeus’s side piece, has officially lawyered up. This guy had better watch out, because he kind of looks a little bit like her former flame. [Washington Post]
* And then they came for the Steves, but there was no one left to speak for them. The day of reckoning has finally come for the men who are being blamed for cooking Dewey’s LeBoeuf. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* Law firms in Manhattan are still recovering from Hurricane Sandy. Not for nothing, but all of the staff members at WilmerHale who were tasked with getting rid of all of the rotten food in the firm’s cafeteria should get a double bonus. Just saying. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Good news, underemployed law school graduates baristas! The First Circuit just affirmed your $14.1M tip-sharing judgment. Maybe now they’ll be able to afford the Starbucks diet. [National Law Journal]
* “This lawsuit is a massive fraud on the federal courts and defendants. It has now descended into farce.” Facebook is yet again seeking dismissal of Paul Ceglia’s ownership claims. [Threat Level / Wired]
* Barack Obama will not be invited to party with the Supreme Court justices to celebrate his reelection — which is too bad, because from what we hear, they really know how to get down. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Here’s a protip that essentially comes straight from David Petraeus. You can add these to the list of crazy things that your jealous mistress will say to any other woman who so much as looks in your direction. [Althouse]
* “Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better?” Career alternative for this attorney: bludgeoning Karl Rove with witty election night insults for his failure to admit Obama won Ohio. [Daily Beast]
* Here’s a list of the five kinds of partners you’ll typically find in Biglaw. All you’ve got to do is find their weaknesses, and use them to your advantage. [Greedy Associates / FindLaw]
* In the days ahead, should law schools cut tuition or cut class size? Obviously the solution is to do a little from column A and a little from column B, but you know they’ll never budge on tuition. [PrawfsBlawg]
This weekend, a top spy had an affair with some woman named Broadchest… err “Broadwell”… and it was a top-grossing distraction from the fiscal cliff.
We’re going to talk about David Petraeus because on this Veterans Day we learned that you can’t be Director of the Central Intelligence Agency while also getting some action on the side. Drone strikes didn’t take Petraeus down. The Benghazi attacks didn’t take Patraeus down (although he’s not done with that yet). Paula Broadwell and her emails took down a four-star general covered in glory.
Before we go on, can we get a list of things you cannot be while also cheating on your wife? More importantly, can we get a list of positions that will not cause the Department of Justice and the FBI to investigate your extramarital predilections?
Does anyone remember Hunter Moore, creator of IsAnyoneUp and the most hated man on the internet for a good swath of last year? His site, before he took it down in April, encouraged young people to submit naked photos of themselves or their friends. The photos were posted publicly along with screengrabs of Facebook pages and real names.
At least one copycat site has popped up: the extremely NSFW IsAnybodyDown.com. In some ways the site feels even more nefarious than its predecessor because of its semi-official takedown policy. The site links to a “Takedown Lawyer” who promises to get any photos removed from the site for somewhere between $200 and $300.
It so happens that this lawyer is a friend of the site’s owner and publicly admits to using a pseudonym to offer his services. Something seems suspicious here….
* There’s a lot going on here: an Iowa Law prof suing over alleged discrimination for her conservative views, inexplicable sexual noises at work, strange unnamed health problems… just read the damn article. [ABC News]
* An 80-year-old woman was arrested for taking down posters comparing Obama to Hitler, because she lived through WWII and was “angry that someone would portray the president as a Nazi.” What a great use of law enforcement resources. [Yahoo!]
* Could the secret to upholding the Defense of Marriage Act lie in… the Obamacare ruling? Paul Clement, are you listening? [Tumblr / John Carney]
* A former district attorney in Texas (who is now a judge) could get disbarred for intentionally withholding favorable evidence from a man who spent 25 years in prison for a murder he didn’t commit. Errbody in the club put your hands up and scream, “Brady violation!” [Austin American-Statesman]
* A Malaysian law student is in trouble for putting his sexy times on a public blog. I strongly recommend you resist the urge to look up the NSFW blog on Google. If you just can’t help yourself, don’t say I didn’t warn you. And you will probably need this, too. [Roll On Friday]
Is there anything quite as grand as allegations of a UVA Law grad behaving badly?
Today’s installment of “Lol-VA” involves serious allegations against a lawyer and 2009 graduate of UVA Law who was dubbed a “rising star” in Democratic politics in Virginia. Unfortunately, instead of the usual fun allegations of getting belligerent and drunk or stealing transcript paper, these claims are more serious.
Albemarle County supervisor Christopher Dumler was arrested and charged with forced sodomy, yesterday.
Collars should go down to half mast, as these allegations could put a stop to Dumler’s career…
Sorry if I’m a little bit late to this story, but did you know that Hulk Hogan is suing Gawker for posting a sex tape of Hogan and his friend’s wife?
Let me back up: Gawker had a sex tape up with Hulk Hogan. Hogan initially used the Shaggy Defense, then came clean and contended that his friend Todd Clem (aka: Bubba the Love Sponge) set him up with his estranged wife, Heather Clem (pictured, and apparently able to be used as a floatation device in case of emergency).
Hogan claims that he didn’t know the sex (which took place six years ago) had been recorded, and he is suing Todd Clem, Heather Clem, and Gawker for posting the video.
And… did you know the Hulkster’s real name is Terry Bollea?
Although I enjoy the occasional aerobics class, I’ve not yet succumbed to Zumba. My colleague Staci, however, is a fan. She describes it as “the latest dance fitness craze,” as well as “the only dance class where people show up wearing makeup and fashionable workout gear.”
Alas, police in a small Maine town allege that some men should have worn more clothing to the local Zumba studio. The Kennebunk police department has accused Alexis Wright, a 29-year-old Zumba instructor, with running a prostitution ring out of her exercise studio. They claim that she had more than 100 clients and that her illicit sex business generated $150,000 over 18 months.
Let’s have a look at the alleged “Zumba prostitute” — who is, not surprisingly, rather attractive — and learn more about the allegations against her. There are a number of legal angles to this story….
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When Chintan Panchal decided to leave a global BigLaw partnership to start his own firm, he could only hope that he would face the high-quality problem of firm building that many had cautioned him about. Focused on the uncertainty surrounding of a new firm launch, he decided to tackle staffing needs, IT challenges, and financial planning requirements after he had built up his legal practice.
Panchal Associates LLP–a corporate/finance and outside general counsel boutique–was quickly off to a great start. Clients and matters were flying in the door, and Chintan soon had a team of lawyers and staff with a variety of operational needs. To continue building an excellent team and provide them with a competitive benefits package, to expand his physical presence to include a European practice and additional partners, and to scale his operations and IT capabilities to support this growing enterprise brought with it demands of time, money, and expertise. Chintan knew he needed help.
“With the assistance of NexFirm, we have upgraded the capabilities of our firm to meet, and in some cases exceed, the standards we were used to at our former BigLaw firms. Operationally, we can now attract and service clients we didn’t have the bandwidth to support in the past, and continue to build our team with the best and brightest legal talent in the industry,” said Chintan Panchal, adding “It has worked out quite well in our case; NexFirm is an essential partner for us.”
The holiday season is upon us, and yet again, you have no idea what to get for the fickle lawyer in your life. We’re here to help. Even if your bonus check hasn’t arrived yet, any one of the gifts we’ve highlighted here could be a worthy substitute until your employer decides to make it rain.
We’ve got an eclectic selection for you to choose from, so settle in by that stack of documents yet to be reviewed and dig in…
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