Sex Scandals

Fifty Shades of John Edwards

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I really don't want to know what John Edwards is smiling at.

First, let me give you the usual warning: this is a post about John Edwards. It will be safe for work, but I still urge you to wear a prophylactic over your eyes to protect you from getting some kind of icky John Edwards disease.

The John Edwards trial is underway and, sorry, I still can’t believe that I voted for this person for Vice President. The prosecution’s “star” witness, former aide Andrew Young, has been on the stand making Edwards look like even more of a cheating liar, if that’s even possible.

Not that any of this really should be going on. Right? We shouldn’t really be prosecuting a man for having an affair on his cancer-stricken wife while he was running for president. This campaign misappropriation claim is a farce.

But Jesus, don’t you just want this slick-talking lout to get punished for something…

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Judge of the Day: A State Judge Reveals What’s Underneath His Robe — Via Sext Message

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Judge Wade McCree

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, another judge goes and pulls a Weiner. In case you haven’t heard, Wade McCree, a state judge from Michigan, has been accused of sending nearly-nude photos to a bailiff via sext message. That’s right, we’ve got judicial divos posing for male pin-up shots right here in America (sorry to steal your Canadian thunder, Madam Justice Lori Douglas).

As they say on the internet, TTIWWOP — “This Thread Is Worthless Without Pictures.” Well, we’ve got one (safe for work, of course)….

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Quote of the Day: iWhore

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Think of her as a Nokia 6070.

It’s the same, but it’s different. It’s like when you buy a fine rum or a BlackBerry or an iPhone. They have a different price.

– the high-end Colombian escort at the center of the Secret Service sex scandal, explaining to the New York Times why she charges so much more than a common streetwalker.

(Some interesting legal tidbits about prostitution in Colombia, and a reader poll on whether prostitution should be legalized in the United States, after the jump.)

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Morning Docket: 04.13.12

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Nice mug shot! Happy Friday the 13th!

* A legal threat goes viral: if you’ve been living under a rock, Epstein Becker & Green is repping Fox News in any legal action brought against Gawker for the “Fox Mole.” [New York Observer]

* Jerry Sandusky’s motion to dismiss his child sexual abuse charges have been denied. And the fact that he thought this would get him off is funny on its own. [New York Daily News]

* When shouldn’t you flash an expired DA’s ID card at the cops? During a DUI stop. She can always use the “celeb angels and demons made me do it” defense. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* New York City’s first female commissioner of the Department of Information Technology is leaving her job to milk the New York Law School cash cow. [Wall Street Journal]

* Law schools are snatching up old ass buildings left and right to house new programs and clinics. Looks like upcoming episodes of “Flip This House” will be brought to you by overpriced tuition. [National Law Journal]

* Yeah buddy! Apparently acting like a drunken idiot in Sleazeside pays off. A lawsuit has revealed Jersey Shore star DJ Pauly D’s salary per episode, and it rivals a Biglaw starting salary. [The Clicker / MSNBC]

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The Latest Plot Twist in Deidre Dare v. Allen & Overy

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Deidre Dare aka Deidre Clark

The high-powered international law firm of Allen & Overy is a member of the Magic Circle. So why can’t they make Deidre Dare disappear?

As longtime readers will recall, Deidre Dare (real name: Deidre Clark) was a Columbia Law School graduate who worked in the Moscow office of Allen & Overy. Everything was going swimmingly, until Clark decided to write some erotic fiction on the side — erotic fiction that may have been based in part on Clark’s experiences working as an expat in Russia. One thing led to another, and Clark’s employment at A&O was terminated.

Clark sued the firm in London, alleging her firing was improper; that suit was dismissed on jurisdictional grounds. She then sued in New York, making claims for sexual harassment, sexual discrimination, wrongful termination, and retaliation, among other claims.

When we interviewed her last year, Clark (a member of the New York bar) sounded confident about her chances of success in the Big Apple: “I think NY will take jurisdiction. And thank God for that.”

So, was Clark correct? Will her suit be moving forward in New York?

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Former Dewey & LeBoeuf Partner Kisses and Tells
(About D&L, Not His Alleged Affair With a Russian Spy)

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John Altorelli

Who is to blame for the recent troubles afflicting Dewey & LeBoeuf, the global mega-firm created from the 2007 merger of Dewey Ballantine and LeBoeuf Lamb? In our recent reader poll, we offered four options: the legacy Dewey side, the legacy LeBoeuf side, both sides, or neither side.

Prominent M&A and private equity lawyer John Altorelli, who recently left Dewey to become a partner at DLA Piper, has some opinions on this issue. In a recent interview with Am Law Daily, he offered a candid diagnosis of what brought D&L to where it stands today, as well as an assessment of its future prospects.

Altorelli was less forthcoming when the New York Post contacted him over the weekend about his alleged love affair with a beautiful Russian spy (her picture after the jump)….

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Morning Docket: 04.09.12

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* The billable hour may be far from dead, but last year, 61% of general counsel worked out alternative fee arrangements with outside counsel, including counsel from elite (read: Biglaw) firms. [Wall Street Journal]

* Dewey need to take lessons on revenge from this firm? John Altorelli, the D&L defector who spilled all the beans to the Am Law Daily, was blasted on Page Six this weekend. More on this to come later today. [New York Post]

* CHECK YOU LATERALS: recent Quinn Emanuel hires William Burck, Paul Brinkman, and Andrew Schapiro, as well as name partner John Quinn, have entered appearances on behalf of Megaupload. [Am Law Daily]

* Copyright infringement suits over porn downloading involving some 3,500 defendants were dismissed because the plaintiffs’ attorney, Terik Hasmi, couldn’t get it in legally in Florida. [National Law Journal]

* In England, there’s no such thing as a no-fault divorce, but instead, you can get one for “unreasonable behavior” — behavior like malicious service of tuna casserole, and speaking only in Klingon. [New York Times]

* This gives “I’m a Slave 4 U” some new meaning. Britney Spears’s fiancé, Jason Trawick, is trying to start their impending rocky marriage off on the right foot. He’ll soon be her co-conservator. [New York Daily News]

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Fame Brief: The Busy Lawyer’s Guide to ‘Aggravated Pimping’

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Yesterday, a French judge charged embarrassing grandpa and former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn with “aggravated pimping” for his role in a prostitution ring run out of upscale hotels in Lille, France. The charge is the latest in a series of sexual allegations against liver-spotted DSK, including attending sex parties with hookers, sexually assaulting his goddaughter, raping a maid in a hotel, and having sex at age 63.

DSK’s most recent charge raises an important issue: What is aggravated pimping? And if pimpin’ ain’t easy, isn’t all pimping “aggravated pimping”? According to this blogger, whose analysis sounds good to me because I’m too lazy to check it, the French charge of “aggravated pimping” likely involves some aggravating circumstance, such as paying for prostitutes with corporate funds or paying for annoying prostitutes with your own money. Apparently most U.S. states also have “aggravated promotion of prostitution” statutes, which make angry pimping a more serious crime than relaxed pimping — which makes sense from a public policy perspective.

But what about the millions of permissible P.I.M.P.s who just happen to be having a bad day? Are they at risk of breaking the law? And where do we draw the line between perfectly legal Big Pimpin’ and illegal aggravated pimping?

To help make sense of this mess — and to keep you on the legal side of where the true players are at — see my Guide to Pimping chart below….

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Criminalizing College: BC Football Player Accused of Invasion of Privacy

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If this keeps up, having sex with a person wearing your school's mascot head will be called 'beastiality.'

In the wake of Dharun Ravi getting convicted of a hate crime for a college prank, we’ve got another situation where a college kid could get into a lot of trouble for acting like a college kid.

The Boston Globe reports that Jaryd Rudolph, a 19-year old football player at Boston College, has been charged with a violation of Massachusetts privacy law. His crime? He allegedly recorded a “sexual encounter” between a teammate and a female graduate student.

And by “recorded,” we don’t mean that he took steamy video of a couple in the act of love making. He’s being charged because he allegedly recorded and shared the woman’s “sexual noises.”

So, we’re now one step closer to putting everybody who acts like a teenager, especially teenagers, in jail…

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John Edwards’s Sex Life Allegedly Gets Even More Lurid

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Dear famous trial lawyers that have an exciting sex life outside of the bonds of their marriage: don’t run for president or vice president. Then your sexual predilections, alleged or otherwise, will not be part of the national discourse.

Yes, we have more potential legal troubles for former presidential candidate John Edwards. DNAinfo is reporting the his name is among the first released in the probe into the client list of “Millionaire Madame” Anna Gristina.

Let’s hope today’s famous trial lawyers don’t have to pay for it….

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