Sex

* The Woody Allen-Mia Farrow custody findings were pretty damning. But for legal geeks, the important point is footnote 1, where the opinion shouts out then-clerk, now federal judge Analisa Torres for her role in drafting the opinion. [Huffington Post]

* Um… you shouldn’t do that with a sea anemone. [Air Force Court of Criminal Appeals]

* Judge Stanwood Duval presided over the criminal trial of a BP engineer arising from the BP oil spill. He forgot to mention that he was a plaintiff in a suit against BP arising from the BP oil spill. Oops.[New Orleans Times-Picayune]

* Maybe Harvard needs some new tax lawyers. [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Apparently, the Brits aren’t too thorough with their background checks. A lawyer got exposed for lying about having two Harvard degrees. It only took bar authorities 9 years to figure it out. [Legal Cheek]

* Elie weighs in on the McGruff the crime dog story from last week. [ATL Redline]

* And part of the problem with the background check may start at the law school stage — the U.K. doesn’t consider criminal convictions for fraud in the U.S. as “relevant” for future practitioners of law. One tipster wonders if Stephen Glass should try his luck outside America? [New York Times]

* UNLV Professor Nancy Rapoport offers some mixed thoughts on the Santa Clara professor’s “Local Rules.” [Nancy Rapoport's Blogspot]

* Mathew Martoma’s conviction probably doesn’t mean all that much. Except to him, of course. For him it means some quality time in federal prison. [Dealbreaker]

* A guy who tried to get on the bench more than once was just busted in a prostitution sting. Oops. He also spells his name weird. [The Press Democrat]

* Tomorrow, Gibson Dunn partner Miguel Estrada will argue before the Second Circuit that private parties can’t get injunctions under RICO. For those keeping score, Gibson Dunn partner Randy Mastro hangs his whole case in Chevron v. Donziger on a request for an injunction under RICO. Time to play the Distinguish Polka. [Courthouse News]

* Wait until the RIAA realizes there are royalties to be made at CIA black sites in Uzbekistan. Because the only thing more torturous than being forced to listen to this music is the tenacity of the RIAA. [Slate]

* More on the legislative fight over accrual accounting versus cash-basis accounting for Biglaw firms. To the barricades! Swear your allegiance to Generalissimo MacEwen! [Adam Smith, Esq.]

* Is there a right to online anonymity? All the people out there trying to hire contract killers over the Internet certainly think so. [InsidePrivacy]

* Jay Edelson and Chandler Givens of Edelson PC examine the flawed law firm recruitment model. [Legal Solutions Blog / Thomson Reuters]

* Slip and falls at the IRS office. [Lowering the Bar]

Amanda Knox

* Quinn Emanuel got a pretty harsh benchslap from Judge Paul Grewal over its litigation strategy in the Apple / Samsung case, calling it “650 lawyers wide and one lawyer deep.” Sick burn, Judge. [Courthouse News Service]

* At Cardozo Law, Jordan Belfort’s former lawyer says that the movie Wolf of Wall Street “played down the sex and drugs.” Dear Lord, if that’s the case, Leo’s muse should be happy he’s alive. [DealBook / New York Times]

* “I’ve been around the block. And I’ve never seen an attorney general sanctioned.” Ahh, the rarest rose. Nevada’s AG was sanctioned for failing to provide evidence in a fraud case against a mortgage lender. [Forbes]

* Eighteen people were arrested for their alleged attempts to market and sell Super Bowl “party packs” to football fans. It’s pretty sick, but you’d got to admit that hookers and blow beat wings any day of the week. [Bloomberg]

* Law schools in the Southeast closed their doors because their states were “unequipped for dealing with the roadways.” Send them up here, we’ve got school when there’s a foot of snow. [National Law Journal]

* A recent grad of a “good school” wanted to know how to get a job, so she asked an advice columnist. Here are five of the suggested jobs she probably already applied to and was rejected from. [Fortune]

* The third time’s apparently the charm in Italy: Amanda Knox was convicted of murder, again. Foxy Knoxy must be pissed that her case has turned into an extradition question on an international law exam. [CNN]

Alexandra Marchuk

“Discovery is going to be FUN in this case.” That’s what we previously predicted about Marchuk v. Faruqi & Faruqi, the high-profile lawsuit filed by plaintiff Alexandra Marchuk against her former firm and one of its most prominent partners, Juan Monteverde.

Why did we expect fireworks from discovery? Because of the lurid nature of Marchuk’s allegations, including severe sexual harassment and (effectively) sexual assault, and because of the Faruqi firm’s aggressive response, which included suing Marchuk for defamation and claiming that it was Marchuk who was obsessed with Monteverde.

But it wasn’t just another “he said, she said” type of situation. Both sides claimed that third-party witnesses and contemporaneous documents would corroborate their respective and conflicting accounts.

Discovery is now underway in the case. Witnesses have been deposed, and documents have been produced. What kind of portrait do they paint?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Tasty Tidbits From A Salacious Summary Judgment Motion”

* Were you looking for a treasure trove of high school pictures of SCOTUS justices? Well, you’re in luck! [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* Remember when Gov. Bob McDonnell was a rising GOP star? Well, this recap of his federal indictment makes that seem like a distant memory. [TPM Muckraker]

* Here’s a career alternative for you: Space Tyrant. When GW Law grad Alex Gianturco bailed on his gig at Zuckerman Spaeder, he took the usual route of just playing video games all day. With the twist that he actually made money at it. As the most powerful player in EVE Online, The Mittani, as he’s now known, has managed to enrage pretty much everybody out there playing a game basically designed to reward dickish behavior. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* A pharmacist lands in hot water after trying to connect with a patient. In his defense, being a pharmacist seems like a pretty fool-proof plan to ensure that a potential date has a clean bill of health. [IT-Lex]

* It’s a mixed bag in Ecclestone family litigation news. Tamara Ecclestone lost her dispute with an ex-boyfriend over a Lamborghini Aventador. She’d given the car to her ex-boyfriend and wanted it back, but the High Court deemed the car was a gift. On the other hand, dad Bernie convinced the New York Supreme Court to kick out a £392.5 million lawsuit over an alleged bribe, so on balance it was a decent week for the billionaire family. Now if he could just fix this stupid “double points” thing. [Daily Mail]

* Lawdingo and Themis’s Clio platform have partnered up. Hopefully Lawdingo won’t shy away from light-hearted commercials now that they’ve hit the big time. [Go Clio]

* Kentucky is looking to authorize service monkeys. What can possibly go wrong? [My Fox DC]

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[T]he defendant’s practice basically consisted of him showing up at the office every now and again to do a closing and then leaving to go drinking or sleep with his paralegal. You can’t do $33 million in business in real estate closings if that’s what your practice consists of.

– Rhode Island Assistant Attorney General Ron Gendron, commenting on former state Sen. Patrick Timothy McDonald’s conviction for conspiring with his paralegal and sometimes mistress, Kimberly Porter, to embezzle more than $160,000 from his real estate clients.

We’ve written about judges involved in sex scandals with prostitutes. We’ve written about judges involved in sex scandals with litigants. We’ve written about judges involved in sex scandals over nude photographs. We’ve never written about judges involved in sex scandals on internet hookup websites — but we’re about to do just that.

If you want to stroke it, this Florida judge will tell you exactly how big his gavel is….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Judge’s Sex Ad Found On Internet Hookup Site”

Let’s play the game where we spot unenforceable contractual clauses and laugh at people who are afraid of modernity.

Actually, let’s play the game where we marvel at how good it must be to be a university president, even at a small school that most people have never heard of. Then we can imagine all the personal freedoms we’d willingly give up if we could in order to have such a life. Because I can think of a number of unmarried women who would cede control of their bedroom to the state in order to have such a sweet job….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Living In Sin Is Prohibited By University President’s Contract”

* A pimp is suing Nike for not labeling its shoes as dangerous weapons after the sex work entrepreneur used his Jordans to beat the holy hell out of a john. Good luck with your suit, Superfly! [USA Today]

* Tattoo artists are suing over their artwork getting featured in media without getting compensation. So add “because shooting ink through a damn needle into your skin” as a reason never to get a tattoo. [Infringe That!]

* There was a dream that was the law clerk hiring plan. Well, it’s dead now. [OSCAR]

* Comparing strippers to lawyers. Makes sense. [Miami Herald]

* Across the Pond, a Cambridge College masturbator gets punished. I see what you did there, you clever headline writer, you. [The Tab]

* Boston has stopped using license plate scanners to probe the question, “Are these even worth it?” That’s the sort of question they might have wanted to explore before spending all that money. [IT-Lex]

* A Pennsylvania lawyer was busted for selling wines out of his wine cellar without a license. God, liquor laws are stupid. [Philly.com]

* Congratulations to the LGBT Bar Association’s 2014 Community Vision awardees: Mary Bonauto, Brian Ellner, and Credit Suisse. [LGBT Bar Association of Greater New York]

Thomas “Haller” Jackson IV

Imagine this. You graduate from law school with a 4.0, the first person in your school’s history to do so. While in law school, you serve as editor-in-chief of the law review, win the moot court competition, and get a Ph.D.

You clerk for a federal appellate judge, followed by another circuit judge — this time a prominent feeder judge to the U.S. Supreme Court. You work as an associate at an elite law firm in a major city. You then return to your hometown and clerk for not one but two federal district court judges, to round out your already amazing résumé with some time in the trial court trenches.

And then you… get a Supreme Court clerkship? Or get charged with attempted aggravated rape and solicitation of a young child….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “A Law Clerk With A Gilded Résumé, Charged With Solicitation And Attempted Rape Of A Young Boy”

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