Sex

Supplemental Lawsuit of the Day: Principal’s ‘Phallusy’?

By

lolita with lollipop.jpgA high school principal in Indiana doesn’t want slutty-seeming students playing sports, reports Courthouse News Service.
Two sophomores attended a summer slumber party with other girls from Churubusco High School. They did what all high school girls do at slumber parties (at least in the imagination of high school boys). From their complaint [PDF]:

During the sleepover the girls took pictures of themselves pretending to kiss or lick a large multi-colored novelty lollipop shaped phallus that they had purchased as well as pictures of themselves in lingerie with dollar bills stuck in their clothes as well as other pictures.

Ed. note: See this comment. Should that read “phallus-shaped lollipop”?

The girls later posted these photos on MySpace. Someone among their MySpace “friends” printed the pics and gave them to the principal. The principal decided the girls had violated the school’s code of conduct and suspended them from all extracurricular activities, including athletics, for the entire school year.
The ACLU thinks the principal is a sucker, and has stepped in to help the girls sue their school.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Supplemental Lawsuit of the Day: Principal’s ‘Phallusy’?”

75 Comments

The Spanking Judge Gets Off

By

judge herman_thomas.jpgRemember Judge Herman Thomas? He’s the former Alabama state court judge who was accused of spanking male prisoners, trading favorable treatment for sexual favors, and improperly interfering on behalf of a cousin in legal trouble.
Judge Thomas challenged the charges at trial, and this afternoon the jury returned its verdict. From the Mobile Press-Register:

Herman Thomas has been found not guilty on charges of sex abuse, sodomy and assault. The jury initially returned seven not guilty verdicts on five sex abuse charges, one sodomy charge and one assault charge and reported they were deadlocked on the remaining counts. Judge Claud Neilson dismissed those deadlocked charges against the former Mobile County Circuit Court judge.

Now that’s what we call a “happy ending.”
Herman Thomas acquitted on all charges [Mobile Press-Register]
Alabama Spanking Judge Cleared of All Charges [Blogonaut]
Earlier: Prior coverage of Judge Herman Thomas

40 Comments

Lawyer of the Day Last Week: Seeking a Sexy Secretary

By

Secretary.jpgEd. note: We gave this a shout-out last week in non-sequiturs (second item), but it’s egregious enough to merit more discussion.

Biglaw attorneys frequently complain about how hard it is to date given the amount of hours they devote to work. Attorneys at a small immigration firm in Chicago may have encountered a similar dilemma.

Perhaps inspired by Maggie Gyllenhaal’s cinematic portrayal of a sex-enjoying legal secretary, Samir Zia Chowhan of Chowhan Law allegedly advertised on Craigslist, in the “Adult Gigs” section, for a secretary with benefits. From Legal Profession Blog:

Loop law firm looking to hire am [sic] energetic woman for their open secretary/legal assistant position. Duties will include general secretarial work, some paralegal work and additional duties for two lawyers in the firm. No experience required, training will be provided. Generous annual salary and benefits will be provided, including medical, dental, life, disability, 401(k) etc. If interested, please send current resume and a few pictures along with a description of your physical features, including measurements. We look forward to meeting you.

Many of you will recall that Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan waged a war against Craigslist’s “Erotic Services” section earlier this year, claiming that there was rampant prostitution there. By her doing, the section was taken down and replaced by this “Adult Gigs” section, which is supposedly more closely monitored for illegal activity. But in our surfing of the section, we saw quite a few ads like Chowhan’s, including ones like this: “I’m seeking a young lady who would like to have some fun with me, possibly on a regular basis, in exchange for some help with bills or whatever.”

At least Chowhan was a little more discreet in his May 2009 ad. But when one woman responded, he made it clear why he had listed the job in the Adult Gigs section.

He defines “additional duties,” after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawyer of the Day Last Week: Seeking a Sexy Secretary”

73 Comments

Lawsuit of the Day: Defective Underwear Causes Penis Pain

By

Albert Freed penis pain.jpgLet’s get the boring stuff out of the way. Albert Freed (pictured) won a trip to Hawaii (not pictured). As part of the vacation celebration, Mrs. Freed bought her husband some new Hanes brand briefs. But Mr. Freed is a husky gentleman, and apparently the new trunks couldn’t contain all of his junk. He sued Hanes, claiming they made “defective” underwear.
Let me turn it over to Escambia County (FL) Judge Pat Kinsey:
Freed v Hanes 1.jpg
A question for the guys out there: How long would it take you to correct a problem involving sandpaper and your penis? Don’t you think penis chafing is something that requires immediate attention and decisive action?
And while we’re here, how long does it take for you to notice your stuff hanging out where it is not supposed to be?
Check out Albert’s excuse after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: Defective Underwear Causes Penis Pain”

88 Comments

IRAC Your World: Or, a female law student’s ‘compelling brief’ in support of sex.

By

Craigslist small.jpgThink back to taking law school exams as a 1L. Remember the IRAC method — Issue, Rule, Application, Conclusion?
One horny creative female law student in Los Angeles has decided to deploy IRAC towards carnal ends. Via craigslist, she recently filed a brief in the matter of You & Me Doing It v. You & Me Not Doing It (2009).
Read her brief, an eloquent attempt to get inside a classmate’s briefs, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “IRAC Your World: Or, a female law student’s ‘compelling brief’ in support of sex.”

129 Comments

Lawyer of the Day Stephanie Birkitt: An Update on the Ex-Letterman Lover

By

David Letterman Stephanie Birkitt lawyer.jpgOn the media website Mediaite, we are erroneously listed as having an affiliation with the Late Show with David Letterman. We wish! If that were the case, then maybe we’d have inside dirt on one of the juiciest media scandals to come along in a while.
And it’s a media scandal with a legal angle — several, in fact. Last Friday, we named the woman at the eye of the storm, Stephanie Birkitt, our Lawyer of the Day. Birkitt — the former Letterman paramour whose ex-boyfriend, Robert “Joe” Halderman, stands accused of trying to extort David Letterman — is a lawyer. The blonde hottie is a graduate of Cardozo Law School, and she passed the bar exam twice — in New York and Connecticut. Very impressive, Ms. Birkitt!
Alas, Stephanie Birkitt may be a two-timer in more than one sense of the word. We previously stated, relying on other sources, that Birkitt’s sexual relationship with her former boss ended in 2003. Now we’re hearing otherwise, from the New York Post:

Pretty former “Late Show” staffer Stephanie Birkitt revealed in her diary that she continued having sex with boss David Letterman even after moving in with her CBS-producer boyfriend, who later allegedly tried to extort him over the affair, sources told The Post yesterday.

Letterman and Birkitt enjoyed romantic hikes last fall at his sprawling ranch in eastern Montana — where he was married in March — while her boyfriend, “48 Hours Mystery” producer Robert “Joe” Halderman, stayed home in Connecticut, the sources said.

At the time, Birkitt, 34, insisted to Halderman that she and the 62-year-old Letterman had just “a platonic relationship,” a source said.

“I’m his best friend,” Birkitt told the worried 51-year-old Halderman, the source said.

A friend with benefits? Like free law school tuition? Speaking of which, according to our reader poll, almost two-thirds of ATL readers would sleep with David Letterman in exchange for free law school tuition.
UPDATE: According to Maureen Dowd (gavel bang: commenter), Letterman’s company loaned Birkitt the money for law school, which she paid back. If true, this is disappointing. What’s the point of sleeping with the boss if you can’t get paid for it?
More law-related Letterman links, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawyer of the Day Stephanie Birkitt: An Update on the Ex-Letterman Lover”

65 Comments

Ex-Judge Herman ‘Who Needs a Spanking?’ Thomas Now on Trial

By

judge herman_thomas.jpgFor long-time readers of Above The Law, Herman Thomas is a familiar name. He’s the former Alabama state court judge who allegedly enjoyed spanking male prisoners, traded favorable treatment for sexual favors, and improperly interfered on behalf of a cousin in legal trouble.
He gave up the paddle gavel two years ago. Now he’s headed to trial.
From the Associated Press:

Chief Assistant District Attorney Nicki Patterson said authorities began looking at Thomas after he changed a jail sentence in 2006 for his cousin, former Mobile County school commissioner David Thomas, even though the case was being handled by another judge. Other cases that Thomas had taken over from other judges without their approval soon surfaced, she said.

And what happened to the prisoners in the cases commandeered by Thomas?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Ex-Judge Herman ‘Who Needs a Spanking?’ Thomas Now on Trial”

41 Comments

Lawyer of the Day: Stephanie Birkitt, Cardozo Law Grad and Ex-Letterman Lover

By

David Letterman Stephanie Birkitt lawyer.jpgTo paraphrase this video, inspired by an Avenue Q song and submitted to Above the Law’s first-ever Law Revue Contest, “What can you do with a JD from Cardozo?”
Um…. David Letterman? From Bitten & Bound:

David Letterman was the victim of a $2 million extortion plot and we have now discovered that according to New York public records, Stephanie Birkitt, 34, a former intern on The Late Show, lived with the accused extortionist Robert Joe Halderman, a CBS 48 Hours producer, and may have unwittingly fed him the information through the pages of her diary, photos and personal correspondence….

According to TMZ, Birkitt is one of the women who engaged in an affair with her boss, but ended it in 2003, prior to the birth of Letterman’s son….

Birkitt began working as a page for CBS New, 48 Hours, and The Late Show while still in college [at Wake Forest] in 1996. She spent a short time as an associate producer on segments for correspondent Erin Moriarty but soon decided that she wasn’t a news hound. That was when Letterman hired her as a personal assistant. She was initially brought on to handle his charities and his Indy car racing team, but her duties expanded over time.

Apparently so. Anyway, here’s the legal connection:

Birkett went on to the Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law in New York City beginning in 2005 and passed the Connecticut bar exam in February 2009.

UPDATE: As noted in the comments, Birkitt also passed the New York bar exam in February. Congrats on passing two state bars, Steph!
FURTHER UPDATE: Actually, Birkitt’s relationship with Letterman may have lasted much longer. See here.
Now, before the elitists among you start ranking on Cardozo Law, there’s something you should know.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawyer of the Day: Stephanie Birkitt, Cardozo Law Grad and Ex-Letterman Lover”

174 Comments

Former U.S. Attorney v. Angry Estranged Husband
(And some reflections on reputation in the internet age.)

By

Tom O'Brien Thomas O'Brien Paul Hastings.JPGThomas O’Brien is the former U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California. He recently joined Paul Hastings, which trumpeted his arrival in a press release. Tom O’Brien is a public figure — he used to be the top federal prosecutor in Los Angeles, nominated by the president and confirmed by the Senate — so he’s used to a little public scrutiny.
But O’Brien couldn’t have been prepared for what happened when his girlfriend’s estranged husband took an unauthorized stroll through her email inbox. The husband found emails between O’Brien and his wife, and they didn’t make him happy.
Instead of handling the situation like a rational adult, the husband — we’ll call him “Ken” — decided to bombard the professional networks of both O’Brien and his wife (also an attorney) with the “pillow talk” emails he discovered. Ken attempted to cast the relationship between O’Brien and his (Ken’s) wife as an affair.
This is not the first time such a thing has happened. Back in 2008, the New York Times reported on a husband’s similar vendetta against a successful Wall Street banker, carried out online. Earlier this year, as Above the Law readers may recall, a cuckolded husband emailed sexting messages between his wife and a White & Case attorney to all of the lawyers at White & Case in Miami.
Ken took this aggressive strategy one insane step further, apparently emailing every lawyer he could think of. You may have already received Ken’s emails, especially if you’re in California, from Ken himself or via email forward.
Is spamming an entire professional network the new revenge of the spurned lover? Are lawyers, as members of a profession that is surprisingly small and highly reputation-conscious, especially vulnerable to this tactic? Does this approach actually work?
After the jump, let’s look at the offense and the (over)reaction.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Former U.S. Attorney v. Angry Estranged Husband
(And some reflections on reputation in the internet age.)”

118 Comments

Closing the Door Loop On Cristina Warthen

By

Cristina Schultz.jpegFor those of you considering prostitution to pay off your law school debts (you know who you are), consider the cautionary tale of Cristina Warthen. As we have previously reported, Cristina graduated from Stanford Law School in 2001. But instead of going into Biglaw, Cristina adopted the porn name “Brazil” and turned herself into a high-priced escort.
Granted, if she graduated today, Cristina might have been able to get some public interest deferral money for her “service.” But this was a long time ago.
And for a while Cristina was a smashing success. She even landed a rich husband, AskJeeves founder David Warthen.
But the Warthens were hit hard by the recession, and the couple split. Meanwhile, the government came looking for $313,000 in back taxes from Cristina’s sultry side business.
The ABA Journal reports that there is a resolution in Cristina’s case. What sentence did she get?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Closing the Door Loop On Cristina Warthen”

43 Comments
Page 31 of 531...272829303132333435...53