Sex

Juan Monteverde and Alexandra Marchuk

The courtroom battle between Alexandra Marchuk and the litigation boutique where she once worked, Faruqi & Faruqi, rages on. As longtime readers will recall, Marchuk alleges that F&F partner Juan Monteverde sexually harassed her, in severe fashion, and that the firm’s leaders ignored his alleged misdeeds.

But no matter who wins in court, it’s possible to argue that the firm is ending up the loser. It has endured extensive bad publicity, and some of the resulting instability has apparently led to lawyer departures.

Who are the latest attorneys to defect from Faruqi & Faruqi?

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Who doesn’t want a Larry Mitchell sandwich? Apparently not the former “Special Assistant to the Dean.” In a detailed affidavit, Daniel J.N. Dubé alleges that the former dean of Case Western Reserve Law propositioned him for a threesome (with Dubé’s girlfriend, which is both eww and impressively ballsy), used his office in the constant pursuit of tail, and ordered his subordinates — specifically Dubé — to exact retribution upon those who questioned Mitchell.

We’ve heard rumblings about Mitchell’s alleged misbehavior before, including the lengthy treatment in a Scene article titled Sex, Politics and Revenge, but this is a first-hand account from a young man who directly aided Mitchell before ultimately renouncing his allegiance….

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Day after day, jaded lawyers sit at their desks at their cushy law firms, mindlessly mashing the keyboard as they dream of what their lives could have been. They could have done anything they wanted, anything at all, and yet they chose to be walking suits, slowly dying inside.

But not this attorney. This guy had ideas too wild, too… sexy, to be confined to the walls of a stuffy law firm. Sure, he worked for a law firm for a time, but he never went back because he was a man with a mission. He had to bring people sexual pleasure, and he had to do it immediately.

Who is the man who left the law to bring the world the delights of latex fetish clothing, vibrators, and blowjob machines?

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Hookerbot 5000 from Futurama

If you’re feeling the pinch of student debt, at least you can comfort yourself in knowing that your money contributed not only to the professional education of innumerable future contract attorneys, but to the overall advancement of legal scholarship. The academy requires those tuition dollars to keep law professors researching and writing for the betterment of all.

And then handing it over to a bunch of apple-polishing 3Ls to validate and publish.

So the next time you get your tuition or student loan bill, ask yourself if funding research on the nature of sexbots is worth it….

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Something like this is a no-no in several states.

* Leonard M. Rosen, one of the name partners of Wachtell Lipton Rosen & Katz, died earlier this week. Our very own Managing Editor David Lat once sat three doors down from this respected restructuring maven. Rest in peace. [Bloomberg]

* A judicial ethics board has recommended that this judge be removed from the bench because she once “sold out her clients, her co-counsel, and ultimately herself.” Oh Flori-duh, you give us so many reasons to <3 you. [Sun Sentinel]

* Gov. Christie named Dean Patrick Hobbs of Seton Hall Law as ombudsman for New Jersey’s executive branch. Congrats, but looks like Seton Hall may need a new dean. Update: Nope, it’s just part-time. Huzzah for Seton Hall! [New Jersey Law Journal]

* A woman working in retail was put on four months of forced maternity leave when she was four months pregnant. She’s due after her forced maternity period is up. Of course she’s suing. [Los Angeles Times]

* ICYMI, here’s a list of all of the fine states in America where blowjobs are illegal, but necrophilia is a-okay — or “anti-blowjobs, corpse-sex-friendly states,” as Adam Weinstein ever so eloquently puts it. [Gawker]

Making your way in the legal world these days is tough. We’ve seen lawyers who’ve had to turn to stripping, prostitution, and even whoring. It’s just hard to make ends meet when jobs are tight and debt’s creeping up on you.

Which is why this woman may have the right idea. She got all her stripping out of the way before law school so she could pay the bills and now she takes nude glamour shots (or at least semi-nude — she covers herself just enough) for 12 hours a week and lives the high life while still in law school. Pretty sweet deal. Her experience can be an inspiration for Belle Knox’s plan to finance law school with porn stardom.

So let’s take a closer look. And by look, I mean here are some (safe for most workplaces) pictures…

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Judge Wade McCree, in repose.

[T]here is not much, if anything, that is more prejudicial to the actual administration of justice than having a sexual relationship with a complaining witness without recusing oneself, engaging in ex parte communications with this mistress/complaining witness, attempting to use the prosecutor’s office as leverage against this now ex-mistress by concocting charges of stalking and extortion against her, and then lying under oath about these matters.

– Judge Stephen J. Markman of the Michigan Supreme Court, writing for the majority in affirming nearly all of the Michigan Judicial Tenure Commission’s findings as to Judge Wade H. McCree. The judge has been suspended for six years, without pay.

Juan Monteverde and Alexandra Marchuk

Last week, we wrote about lawyers leaving Faruqi & Faruqi, the litigation boutique that’s locked in an ugly legal battle with a former associate, Alexandra Marchuk. Marchuk’s lawsuit accuses F&F partner Juan Monteverde of severe sexual harassment and alleges that the firm’s leaders turned a blind eye to his misconduct.

We asked our readers for more information about the recent Faruqi departures. Well, ask and you shall receive. We have the details on the lawyers who left — as well as info about how Faruqi is looking for laterals, and how much it pays them (hint: not enough)….

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Where to even begin?

Models often find themselves in awkward poses. Models whose work borders on the porn industry often find themselves in really awkward poses. The model in this story works in the latter milieu. She’s Elizabeth Dickson, and she models for Playboy. As part of this career, she shoved a golf tee in her tail.

What could possibly go wrong?

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* Lawyer opts to wear orange prison scrubs for Lent. When you think about it, it makes a lot more sense than giving up chocolate when your religion is based on a death row inmate. [Waco Tribune]

* A profile of Bob Bennett. They compare him to Olivia Pope. Not sure about that… Bennett’s got bigger tits. [Washington Post]

* A Brooklyn lawyer reached out and grabbed his dream. Unfortunately, that dream involved the crotches of multiple unsuspecting women. [New York Post]

* George Zimmerman’s parents are suing Roseanne Barr, who apparently is still enough of a celebrity that people care to sue her. [IT-Lex]

* Married women can’t get divorced in Alabama. Look at the bright side, that means you can’t get a divorce lawyer who’ll bill you for sex. [Associated Press via WTOP]

* Play along at home with this handy tracker showing just how often the U.S. Chamber of Commerce prevails at the Supreme Court. It’s a long Supreme Court season, but based on the last couple years, the scoreboard might look disturbingly like the Super Bowl’s when all is said and done. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Hey, law schools! Looking for more students? It looks like a simple legal change can spike your applications. [Fox News]

* If you’re in D.C. next week, swing by the Race and Access to the Justice System symposium at Georgetown. [Georgetown Journal of Legal Ethics]

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