Sigh. We’re still waiting for the first big announcement of law firm associate bonuses — and we’re getting impatient. As soon as you hear something, please let us know.
We’ve visited the messageboards this morning, to see if there’s any news, and to kill some time. They didn’t offer any enlightenment. But they did provide some amusement.
From Greedy Associates:
I don’t know about Mr. Gardner. I am not gay, although I fool around with guys sometimes. That doesn’t mean I’m a homo, and I remain homophobic as a means to cover the fact that I mess around sometimes with guys. My other name is UVA_REJECTED_ME, a hetero cover.
Any hung guys here? I’m not gay, I hate gays. Just curious.
* This, this, and this from How Appealing on the race in public schools cases argued before the Supreme Court yesterday.
* And for the second straight day, someone blames their crime on bingo. [CNN]
* A “temporary” solution for being burned out on biglaw. [WSJ Law Blog]
* I guess this is kinda like the flip-side of using someone as a human shield. [CNN]
* Always get it in writing, especially when it comes to constitutions. [Jurist]
* It’s all about the benjamins, baby. Bonus season is upon us. And we’re standing by to broadcast every move. So please email us with any news, rumors, and leaked memos about bonuses.
* Truthfultips are especially welcome. Look for the first wave of bonus announcements in the coming week.
* And check out the most anal retention letter ever.
* In non-Biglaw developments, it was a busy week for the Supreme Court. They heard all about EPA regulatory discretion, the Federal Circuit’s recondite jurisprudence, and other fun topics.
* On tap for the SCOTUS: Ken Starr and a bizarrely fascinating case. It’s like Bill ‘n Monica, all over again. But is it sexy enough for same-day audio-cast? Probably not.
* Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill, the imminent Democratic takeover is already being felt at the Senate Judiciary Committee. The big white-collar shops are eagerly anticipating lots of new business.
* Speaking of elections, please cast your vote for November 2006 Couple of the Month. And if you’re an NYU Law School student, please forward us the results of voting in the 3L hottie contest.
* In federal appellate judge news, Judge Morris Arnold is recovering nicely, Judge Richard Posner is getting testy, and Judge Frank Easterbrook is now Chief Judge Frank Easterbrook.
* And over in the district court, Judge Lee Rosenthal (S.D. Tex.) is probably out of the running for a promotion to the Fifth Circuit (despite being very highly regarded).
* Finally, in state court land, some judges are getting a little big for their britches robes. They’re mouthing off, railing against immigrants, and making spectacles of themselves. Pipe down, Your Honors, and stay out of trouble.
* Jurors go wild… kind of. [AP via Yahoo! News]
* This could be your fate if you have sexual relations with any animal, dead or alive, regardless of law: you could be the posthumous star of a Sundance documentary. [Editor and Publisher]
* Do not think you can know go about suing the various characters in your dysfunctional family. [Seattle Times]
* After being subjected to Prince Charles’s tampon metaphors, is there really anything more to know about the Royal Family? [The Guardian]
* Pussy. Labia. Vagina. (Yeah, I too know way too much about Britney’s and, thanks to the above, Camilla’s.) Salary? Buzz! That word is taboo. [Feminist Law Professors]
* But I think in Virginia, it’s still okay to give the homeless transfat. [Southern Appeal; Washington Post]
* Let me save you the trouble: they all taste like the industrial cupcakes moms have been buying for grade school birthdays since the post-war era. So to protect such cupcakes would be like trademarking sawdust. [Madisonian]
* Professor Slater wants you to know that the interviewing-as-dating analogy is inaccurate. Unless you get drunk and end up in the apartment of the interviewer after he tells you he’s in a band. [PrawfsBlawg]
* Thesauruses can still do the trick. Who knows if I would have passed AP English without one? On the other hand, one of the perks of public high schools is having your Cliffs Notes-cribbed essay graded by a teacher qualified only to teach woodshop and coach girls’ softball. [New York Times]
* What would the Supreme Court say about McDonald’s plans to patent its sandwich-making process? [CNN Legal Pad]
* Ah, law school flirting is just so cute. [Overheard in New York]
* While the poodles seem to be safe, babies, sadly, are not. [WCSH Portland]
* Blood money, in a way. Because someone killed my will to love. [Newsweek via Overlawyered]
Our big brother brings to our attention an interesting article, from New York magazine, about urban professionals and burnout. And no article on the subject would be complete without a discussion of Biglaw attorneys:
An epidemic of malaise among bankers and lawyers is far more likely to inspire jokes—Wouldn’t it be nicer if it were terminal?—than concern and rafts of psychological studies. (And the few studies out there are funny, if inadvertently. In a special “burnout” issue of the Journal of Clinical Psychology six years ago, the essay on lawyers was most notable for the “Select References and Recommended Reading” that followed—four of eight were about masochism.)
Not surprising in the least — although where are the sadism articles?
[C]onsider lawyers for a moment: According to the New York Bar Association, turnover rates among mid-level associates in this city’s law firms is 36 percent. The whole system is predicated on burnout. Why even bother treating associates well?
Sad but true. We’re reminded of one of our all-time favorite reader comments, in a thread discussing whether Paul Weiss is a gay-friendly firm. Here’s the comment:
Paul Weiss isn’t a magnet for gays, but it is a great place to get f*cked in the ass no matter what your sexual orientation is.
Remember Scott Blauvelt, the former Ohio prosecutor who was charged with public indecency, for allegedly walking around his office in the nude? Time for an update:
Charges of public indecency were dropped [last week] against an ex-city prosecutor because of a paperwork problem. But officials said they would re-file the case against Scott Blauvelt, who has been accused of walking through public buildings after hours in the nude.
“A technicality is causing us to re-file the paperwork,” Butler County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy Anthony Dwyer said Tuesday.
What was this “technicality”?
Blauvelt had pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to two counts of public indecency in Municipal Court, where he worked from March 2005 until he was fired last month. A judge dismissed the charges Tuesday after authorities acknowledged they were filed under an outdated section of law.
See? When your legal research instructor read you the riot act about Shepardizing and Keyciting, it was for your own good.
Blauvelt’s lawyer challenged the charges on several grounds, including those offered by Professor Orin Kerr:
Gmoser argued the charges against Blauvelt never should have been filed, because his alleged nude strolls were unlikely to be seen by anyone in a public office building that is nearly deserted at night.
While Blauvelt’s unclothed ambulation may have been ill-advised, was it really illegal? We once heard a story about a female partner walking into the ladies’ room late on a Saturday night, where she found an associate and his girlfriend getting it on. Clearly they were guilty of poor judgment (and taste). But were they guilty of “public indecency,” considering that they were doing it in the relatively private place of the ladies’ room, late on a Saturday night?
(Actually, considering that the story supposedly took place at a big law firm in New York, one might reasonably expect people to be around on a Saturday night. But government offices in Ohio? Let’s get real.) Charges Dropped Against Lawyer [Cincinnati Enquirer]
[Ed. note: This post is on the vulgar side. It's a bit like Borat: funny to some, distasteful to others. If you're a person of delicate sensibilities, please exercise discretion in deciding whether to read further. Thank you.]
Last week we reported some top law firms involved in billion-dollar deals:
Biglaw shops are involved in all of these transactions. The lucky law firms: Sidley Austin, Simpson Thacher, Cleary Gottlieb, Howard Rice, Wachtell Lipton, Davis Polk, Debevoise & Plimpton, Covington & Burling, and Schwabe, Williamson & Wyatt.
One of these things is not like the others. Yes, you guessed it: Schwabe, Williamson & Wyatt.
The obvious response: Schwabe, a regional law firm based in the Pacific Northwest, is the least “Biglaw”-ish of these shops.
The less obvious response: Schwabe provides services the other firms do not. Check out the retention letter below, which has been making the law firm email rounds.
(Normally we’d challenge you to find the typo in the second paragraph, but today we’ve made it easy for you. After all, it’s the Monday after a holiday weekend.)
This typographical error gives unfortunate new meaning to the SW&W “diversity logo,” featured prominently on the firm’s website:
(Query: What’s up with the green hand? Title VII doesn’t protect martians.) Earlier: Legal Fee Voyeurism: Merger Mania Moolah Schwabe, Williamson & Wyatt [official website] Define:Fisting [Google Search]
A college graduate without student loan debt is akin to reading a kind quote about Kim Kardashian in a tabloid—it’s rare.
In the past eight years, student loan debt has nearly tripled to a whopping $1.1 trillion, and in the past 10 years, the percentage of 25-year-olds with such debt has risen from 25% to 43%
It’s gotten so bad, in fact, that New York Fed economists warned last month that the burden of student debt could stilt consumer spending by twentysomethings, as well as further hamper the recovery of the housing market and economy.
To get a better idea of what massive student loan debt (we’re talking over $100,000 massive) looks like, we talked to an attorney who graduated with a large student loan debt. We also consulted LearnVest Planning Services CFP® Katie Brewer to see just how their repayment plans stack up.
S. Fischer, 36, Attorney Graduated: 2001
How Much I Borrowed: $100,000
What I Still Owe: $45,000
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Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: asia@kinneyrecruiting.com.
Deal flow has clearly picked recently up for most US associates, counsels and partners in Hong Kong/China and Singapore. We are on the phone with a lot of these folks on a daily basis, many of whom we have known for years. Further, the head of our Asia team, Evan Jowers, and Kinney’s founder and president, Robert Kinney, frequently meet in person with leading US partners in Asia to assess their needs and keep on top of the inside scoop at as many firms as possible. The need for legal recruiting help in Asia from experienced recruiters appears to be live and well. In March, Evan and Robert were in Beijing at such meetings, in April, Evan was in Hong Kong, and for half of June Evan will be in Shanghai and Hong Kong. Thus its pretty easy for us to tell when there has been an across-the-market pick up in capital markets and corporate work.
On an average day in Asia when Evan and Robert visit firms, they typically have 5 to 9 meetings a day, mostly with US partners in the market. The reason they have these meetings is not simply because Kinney makes a lot of US attorney placements in Asia and that a particular firm may have openings; instead these are just visits with friends. After years of working together as business partners, the folks at Kinney are actually these peoples’ friends. The firms Kinney work closely with in Asia (which is just about every law firm – call us if you want to know the one firm in the world we will never place anyone with again, ever, and why) look forward to the visits, or at least act like they do. After seven years in the market, many of the client partners are former associate candidates. Also, these US partners see Kinney as a very good source of market information as well, because they know how deep their contacts are in the market and how frequently they are speaking to counterparts at peer firms.
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Sigh. We’re still waiting for the first big announcement of law firm associate bonuses — and we’re getting impatient. As soon as you hear something, please let us know.
