Sex

In the past week or so, the romantic exploits (and misadventures) of lawyers and law students have been in the news. Here are a few noteworthy links:
Amani Toomer Yola Dabrowski divorce divorcing Above the Law.jpg1. ‘ABORT’ SHOCK IN GIANT DIVORCE [New York Post]
Football star Amani Toomer (at right), a wide receiver for the Giants, is divorcing his wife, Dr. Yola Dabrowski. The parties’ divorce filings are full of salacious allegations, but here’s what jumped out at us:

Dabrowski’s papers complain that Toomer: … * Sabotaged her dream of becoming a lawyer by stealing her computer and files, making it impossible to study for her law-school exams and leading to her getting an incomplete for the term.

If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the way to a law student’s heart — or the way to break her heart, as the case may be — is through her papers.
Another allegation:

[W]hen she didn’t want to have sex, Toomer acted “irrationally and outrageously” – once urinating on her clothes, and another time tossing her BlackBerry into the Hudson River.

Destroying your spouse’s Blackberry? Now you’ve thrown down the gauntlet. If The War of the Roses were updated for 2007, there would surely be a scene of Blackberry destruction.
Damon Colbert Damon D Colbert Pillsbury Winthrop Above the Law.jpg2. Date Lab [Washington Post]
“Date Lab,” in which the Post sets up two people on a blind date and then writes it up, is one of our favorite guilty pleasures. This recent date, involving Pillsbury Winthrop associate Damon Colbert (at right), actually went fairly well. (The column is more fun when the dates are disasters.)
But the WaPo reader comments — “the two shallowest people in all of Creation,” “this Date Lab made me unbearably sad” — are kinda vicious. And we thought ATL commenters were harsh….
Gillian Hearst Shaw Christian Simonds Christian A Simonds Above the Law.JPG3. Page Six: Ready To Wed [New York Post]
Gillian Hearst Engaged! [Socialite Rank]
From Page Six:

LOVE is in the air for Hearst heir Gillian Hearst-Shaw and her yearlong boyfriend, Christian Simonds. Sources say the gorgeous brunette socialite and philanthropist was proposed to with “a blindingly huge diamond engagement ring” from Simonds. Her hubby-to-be, a mergers and acquisitions lawyer, popped the question last weekend, following a romantic sleigh ride for two in the Berkshires. Mazel tov!

Page Six doesn’t identify his firm, but as Socialite Rank points out, Christian Simonds is an associate in the New York office of Lowenstein Sandler. Next time you make a disparaging remark about the New York office of a New Jersey law firm, ask yourself: “If my firm is so much better, then why am I not marrying a beautiful media heiress?”
4. Wendi Adelson and Dan Markel [New York Times]
Happy Anniversary to Wendi Adelson and fellow legal blogger Dan Markel, of PrawfsBlawg fame!

* Maybe you read this over Sunday brunch. I was going to make a crack about barely educated sorority girls in schools I’ve never heard of in states I’ve barely heard of, but then I thought of this, or this, or this. You know who should shed some light on this? Tyra. [New York Times]
* As culturally valuable as Britney’s hair? [Yahoo News]
* Man was “more than” friends with Man’s Best Friend. (You also don’t need to explicitly define “cheating” to know he was also cheating on his girlfriend… although that’s the least of her concerns.) [Bay City Times]
* Because we’re not all Wiki fans. [Conservapedia via Discourse.net]

Thomas Jefferson Sally Hemmings Sally Hemings UVA Law Sex Survey Above the Law.JPGIs there anything to do in lovely Charlottesville, Virginia, other than hump like bunnies? A recent study suggests the answer to this question is “no.”
Over at the University of Virginia Law School, student bodies are gettin’ busy. The Virginia Law Weekly, UVA’s student newspaper, recently administered a sex survey. It was taken by approximately half of the law school — an impressive response rate. The survey revealed the following:

[A]lmost 64% of law students are currently involved in a sexual relationship, and most of us (52%) are having sex at least once a week. But even though a full 70% of students report that they are either “satisfied” or “very satisfied” with their sex lives, apparently that’s not enough. Fifty-nine percent of respondents told us that they want to have sex more often.

Please, kids — let’s not get greedy. After all, you’re in LAW SCHOOL. And you need to leave yourselves SOME time to hit the books, so you can land that coveted Wilkinson clerkship.
Additional highlights from the survey, from TJ’s Double Play:

* Who are the nine dudes and two girls who are awesome? And by awesome, we mean slept with more than 30 people.

* About 30 percent of both law school men and women have cheated on a partner. Finally, gender-equity. Plus, since we’re going to be lawyers, screwing people is what we do best.

* Sixty-five percent of law students do not think oral sex is sex. In that case, We would love to not have sex with you.

* The average law school guy has had six partners and the average girl has had five, well beyond the national average of about three. Again, screwing people is what we do best.

* 1Ls make up fifty percent of the law school’s virgins. Explanation: $3100 a week at your summer job will work wonders for your sex life.

* Thirty percent have had anal sex, which just goes to show that the butt is the new oral. See, The Bottom Line.

For more titillating tidbits, read the full post at TJ’s Double Play, the Virginia Law Weekly article, or the underlying raw data.
UVA Sex Survey [TJ's Double Play]
2007 Sex Survey Results Show Busy, Insatiable Student Body [Virginia Law Weekly]
UVA Law Sex Survey Raw Data [Survey Monkey]

* A flight attendant was suspended for merely taking a bathroom break. Of course, this “break” involved Ralph Fiennes’s penis. Wrongful termination or not, it would have been worth it. [The Daily Telegraph]
* Was this a way out of CLE requirements? [San Francisco Chronicle]
* Too many lawyers, not enough nuts, fruits or flakes. [Professor Bainbridge; Point of Law]
* How many times have you wondered what a producer actually does? And how many times since last year’s Oscars have you wondered why Crash won best picture? (Once for me, but the moment was intense and fraught with anger.) [Madisonian]

According to the recent lawsuit filed by Aaron Charney, Sullivan & Cromwell thinks that Canadians are “irrelevant.”
We have a different view of our neighbors to the north. We think Canucks are horny. And pretty damn funny.
This music video, Promiscuous Firm, is from the 2007 University of Alberta Law Show. And it’s far more entertaining — and well-produced — than any video we’ve seen from a U.S. law school’s annual show or roast.
(Yes, even the Tim Wu video.)
Here’s the clip. It’s great from about 1:30 onwards (or 3:00 if you’re watching “backwards”):

Best double entendre, from the attractive female hiring partner (around the 2:20 mark):

I’m a big firm, I can handle myself
But if I have an opening, I may need your help.

Indeed.
Promiscuous Firm [YouTube]

George Hunter George D Hunter Above the Law Above the Law.jpgIf Aaron Charney’s lawsuit against Sullivan & Cromwell is to be believed, some S&C lawyers think that Canadians are “irrelevant.”
Feel free to debate the relevance in Canadians in the comments. One thing that can be said for them, though, is that their lawyers have pretty good sex scandals.
From an article in the Toronto Star, by the provocatively named Tracey Tyler (who is a guy for all we know):

The former head of the governing body for Ontario lawyers has been suspended from practising for 60 days after admitting to a sexual affair with a client. George Hunter, 59, offered an emotional apology to his colleagues, family and ex-lover yesterday after pleading guilty to professional misconduct.

The irony here is too rich. Maybe all those years of administering slaps on the wrists to lawyers who improperly slept with clients got Hunter thinking, “Maybe I should give this a whirl?”[FN 1]

The relationship ended abruptly after Hunter asked X.Y. to meet him at an Ottawa restaurant, where he informed her that during the time they had been sexually involved, he had also had affairs with two other women….

In a move that might be worthy of entry in the annals of unromantic gestures, Hunter, just before disclosing those affairs, presented X.Y. with a copy of section 2.04 of the law society’s Rules of Professional Conduct.

It deals with conflicts of interest between lawyers and clients. Hunter wanted X.Y. to acknowledge that she had read it….

And THIS is why George Hunter is ATL’s Lawyer of the Day. Say what you will about Hunter, but the man was a LAWYER — to the bitter and embarrassing end.
[FN1] We say “improperly” because, as noted by the Globe and Mail, “[t]here are no professional or statutory rules in Canada which prohibit lawyers from having sexual relations with clients. [There are simply] conflict of interest codes which restrict lawyers from sexual relations with clients without informed consent and when the relationship might harm the client’s interests.”
In this case, Hunter admitted to misconduct. So there’s no claim that his affair — or the two other affairs he had while having affair #1 — were above board.
Sex with client sinks top lawyer [Toronto Star]
Ex-Law Society official suspended for affair with client [Globe & Mail]
Law Society of Upper Canada investigates former Treasurer [The Lawyers Weekly]
George D. Hunter bio [Borden Ladner Gervais]

* Too soon, Daily Princetonian, too soon. And what’s more, you budding SNL-writers are so completely unfunny that you might consider law school instead. Dewey Ballantine would probably hire you. [IvyGate Blog]
* Retiree sick of junk mail claims that (literal) poo-slinging is constitutionally protected. [AP via Forbes]
* If only Jason were just a tad younger, they’d be just another couple of happy, teenage parents. [Sheboygan Press]
* But we’ll always have YouTube. [ValleyWag]
* Want to do more than just blog? Ernie is looking for a freelance legal researcher. Sounds like a great gig if you like that kind of thing. (I obviously don’t, or I wouldn’t be putting this out for all of you to see.) [Ernie the Attorney]

A similar thing happened to the paralegal manager at our former firm. Her Burberry raincoat was ruined. But that incident happened on the New York City subway, not inside judicial chambers.
Woman Sues Texas Judge for Ejaculating On Her In Chambers [Legal Reader]

Stephan Addison Stephan W Addison Benjamin Butler Benjamin C Butler.JPGA reader brought our attention to this disturbing story out of the Midwest, which we hadn’t heard about previously. From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

Nobody but the two Chicago men and the woman from Berlin knows for certain exactly what happened at the private boat landing on Green Lake in early morning of Aug. 7, 2005.

The 29-year-old woman says the two men — then both attorneys at prominent Chicago law firms — held her down on the hood of her car and cheered each other on as they repeatedly raped her.

The two men say what happened was consensual sex.

The undisputed facts after that night, from the bail amounts and the plea bargains to the minimal sentences and the district attorney’s resignation, have some locals in this small tourist town 30 miles west of Fond du Lac wondering if justice was served or if two big-city attorneys got a “good-ole-boy” break.

“Something doesn’t look right,” said Jaime Brotz, a 10-year resident of the Berlin area. “I think they got away with a lot more than they should have.”

Find out which firms these defendants worked for, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Biglaw Boys Up To No Good”

H Rodgin Cohen Chairman Aaron B Charney Aaron Brett Charney Sullivan Cromwell Above the Law Above the Law Above the Law ATL legal tabloid legal blog.JPGThe lawsuit filed by an openly gay associate against his prestigious law firm, Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell, has been picked up by the mainstream media — big-time.
We expect that, after this rash of articles, the MSM will move on from this story. Rest assured, dear reader, that ATL will not.
We intend to cover the crap out of this case. If you have any information whatsoever about Aaron Charney, Sullivan & Cromwell’s treatment of gay lawyers, or related subjects, please email us. No detail is too small to escape our interest. If you shared your apple juice with Aaron Charney in kindergarten, we want to hear about it.
Okay. We have carefully read this morning’s coverage of the lawsuit by the New York Times, the New York Law Journal, and the Times of London — so you don’t have to. We’ve located the highlights, the juiciest details, and the money quotes.
The most notable news, as reported in the NYT and the NYLJ, is that Charney has been barred from the Sullivan & Cromwell offices while an internal investigation is underway. Considering the weirdness and tension that would have resulted otherwise, both Charney and the S&C partners are probably happy about his absence.
Excerpts and links to the full articles, after the jump (i.e., click on the “Continue reading” link below).

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell: Aaron Charney Has Left the Building”

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