If you're looking to buy someone a belated holiday gift, and have $100,000 to spare -- perhaps you're a senior associate in New York who just earned $110,000 or $115,000 in year-end and special bonuses -- check out this item, currently up for bids on eBay:

So America... just how much is an education worth? Let's find out. Up for sale is my law degree. Yes, you read correctly. Three years and $100,000 plus of debt for your pleasure. Please note that I am in no way claiming that by purchasing this degree you will be given credit for having attended an accredited law school and completing its course of study nor will it give you the necessary credentials to take the bar exam. You will not be able to become a lawyer by purchasing this degree. However this would make a great collectible if your name happens to be David Wold.

Why am I selling this great item? Because it has been nothing but a curse and aggrevation in my life. Going to school for this degree has been a joke, and has only brought me stress and misery. This degree has been a great invitation to work at least 60 hours a week at a place where I don't want to be for people that I don't care about. It has helped me develop great relationships with bill collectors as I can't afford the cost this great privilege has afforded me. It has limited my abiltity to pursue other work options as people just can't understand why someone with a law degree wouldn't want to be a lawyer. Believe it or not, the extensive job dissatisfaction amongst lawyers, high suicide rates, and failed personal relationships that lawyers have isn't enough to convince others that it's not a healthy, worthy pursuit. And of course even if I would be happier as a bartender, I couldn't afford to pay back the loans needed to earn this degree. Though that's true of many that I graduated with. Individuals that wanted to practice law for the benefit of the poor or impoverished or those who can't afford legal counsel are having a hard time too because they aren't paid enough. But that's justice.

And that's just the start of it. Read the full lament cum listing by clicking here.

But why should you buy this law degree for $100,000? Justice Clarence Thomas might sell you his Yale Law School degree for fifteen cents.

As for what motivated David Wold to put up this listing, it appears to be an attempt to promote an adult entertainment site that he's launched. We won't include a link to it here because obviously it is NSFW (and the woman splashed all over the site is no Kumari Fulbright).

The conventional wisdom is true: there are a million things you can do with a law degree.

My Law Degree [eBay]
Justice Says Law Degree 'Worth 15 Cents' [AP via Huffington Post]

So it looks like no bail for Stephen Yagman, the colorful and controversial civil rights lawyer who was convicted last year of tax evasion, bankruptcy fraud and money laundering. Yagman will start his three-year prison term later this month.

Yagman asked to remain free on bail while appealing his conviction (to the Ninth Circuit -- a court with which Yagman has a long and tortured history). But the district court denied his request.

Perhaps the court didn't want Yagman out and about, dropping $2,000 on shoes and $262 on dinner -- as he allegedly did just hours after filing for bankruptcy, as part of a scheme to avoid paying more than $200,000 in state and federal taxes.

High-profile LA lawyer denied bail [Associated Press]

The signing bonuses for U.S. Supreme Court clerks who join law firms after their clerkships have reached $250,000. But if a cool quarter million, on top of a third-year associate's salary, is not enough, former SCOTUS clerks can supplement their income by hawking the traditional departure gift -- a photograph of the nine justices, autographed by each one -- on eBay.

(The Court portrait currently on sale on eBay is not being sold by a former Supreme Court clerk, though. It's "from the estate of the late Michael Rodak, Jr., who was the Clerk of the United States Supreme Court from 1972 to 1981." The bidding is currently at $1,825. But if that strikes you as high, it's not high enough -- the seller's reserve price has not yet been met.)

9 Rehnquist Supreme Court Autographs on Photo Mount [eBay]

From a law student tipster:

I was wondering if you've ever posted about the "care packages" big firms send their summers around finals time. I searched around your site and didn't find anything. [FN1]

The things my friends are receiving from large New York and Boston firms are nuts. Tons of firm gear, Godiva chocolates, leather portfolios, popcorn, Red Bull, Starbucks cards... You name it. It would be interesting to see what firms send out to summers. Just a thought.

Love ATL - keep up the good work!

So have you received a Biglaw "care package" to get you through the next few weeks? Or is your firm just not into the holiday spirit (i.e., cheap)?

Please discuss, in the comments -- and identify firms by name if possible. Thanks.

[FN1] This is a good tipster. Many times people suggest topics to us without running a site search or looking through our archives first, and it turns out that we've already covered the subject.

"There she is... Miss S&C Bonsai!"

Just to close the loop on last week's contest, the bonsai tree pictured at right is the winner of our Sullivan & Cromwell bonsai beauty pageant. Congratulations, Bonsai #2!

Of course, as with any matter of taste, there was disagreement. Some viewed Bonsai Two as tawdry:

Bonsai Contestant 2 is a pageant patty: the garish lighting, the big contestant badge, the pose. Bonsai Contestant 6 is fresh, unscripted, and beautiful, and therefore gets my vote.

But in the end, more voters agreed with these views:

"The lighting for Number two makes it classy, and yet ever so slightly risque. It gets my vote hands down."

"The garish lighting makes it. So stark, so ironic. Number two (the existential bonsai) has it all the way."

Wait a sec -- is the lighting scheme "classy," or "garish"? Eh, who knows! All we know is that you like it, you really like it.

For anyone who cares, the full tally appears after the jump.

Earlier: An S&C Bonsai Beauty Pageant!

When it comes to offeree swag, is the arms race among Biglaw shops heating up?

Sullivan & Cromwell brought out what we dubbed the "heavy artillery": bonsai trees. But perhaps S&C has been bested -- and not even by a New York firm:

Talk about firms taking recruiting to a whole new level. Last night, Choate Hall & Stewart held its offer dinner at a super-fancy, old school establishment. Choate had goody bags ready for all its offerees, and while most of us were expecting a pen (a la Goodwin) or a water bottle, lo and behold, in our red shiny gift bags, were brand new 8GB red video iPod nanos (at $200 a pop).

Soooooo sweet. It's a little ridiculous, but at the same time, something has to be said for the financial health of the firm for them to be giving away iPods.

In the comments to one of our S&C bonsai posts, it was reported that Shearman & Sterling gave iPod shuffles to its summer associates. That's quite nice. But it's even nicer to give a nifty (and costly) gadget to a mere offeree, who at the end of the day might just say, "Thanks anyway, hello Ropes & Gray."

What's the nicest gift you've received, or heard of someone receiving, from a law firm encouraging acceptance of its offer? Please discuss, in the comments. Thanks.

After the jump, you'll see six photographs of Sullivan & Cromwell bonsai trees. Some of these pics have been previously featured in these pages, and some are new. Based on subtle differences between the plants, it appears that S&C may be using different florists around the country to disseminate these gifts to its offerees.

We will now hold a bonsai beauty contest, allowing you to vote for your favorite example of S&C bonsai porn. The differences in the photos are interesting. Just like real pornography, some bonsai porn aims to titillate, some aspires to art, and some just looks fuzzy and low-budget.

Check out the bonsai pics, and cast your vote, after the jump.

Monday mornings kinda suck. So here's something to cheer you up and get your week started right. It's a photograph, of higher quality than our last one, of a Sullivan & Cromwell bonsai tree:

Another S&C bonsai pic, in which the plant is artistically posed alongside additional booty sent by the firm to its offerees, after the jump.

At right: a photograph of one of the bonsai trees that Sullivan & Cromwell has been sending its offerees.

Some description, from our tipster:

I took a camera phone pic of this S&C bush when it first came, to text to a non-law school friend who could not believe that law firms send plants.

It's not wrapped anymore [in the picture]. That tiny thing in front of the elaborate packaging is the plant. Originally, the five-inch plant arrived in a giant box stuffed with styrofoam. The plant was then wrapped inside green and black tissue paper, adorned with gold "Sullivan and Cromwell" ribbon and a small gift card, and then placed in a clear cellophane wrapping, before it was then graced with a gold embossed "S&C" sticker.

None of that, however, prevented the dirt from exploding all over my kitchen as I opened the giant box.

We realize that this photo, taken with a camera phone, isn't the greatest pic. If you're the proud owner of an S&C bonsai, feel free to photograph it and then email us. Maybe we'll hold a contest for best picture of an S&C bonsai tree, or create a special photo gallery. Thanks!

Earlier: Sullivan & Cromwell to 190K Bonsai Trees!

In response to yesterday's quick post on the Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell litigation, a tipster sent us this:

I don't have any information on the case, but thought you might be interested in this minor tidbit on Sullivan & Cromwell.

The Lavendar Law conference (the annual GLBT CLE fest) was in Chicago last weekend. S&C did not send anyone for the conference itself, as far as I know, but they flew in several associates just for the closing ceremonies.

They also offered the nicest swag of any firm: gift sets of Kiehl's products. Seems they are trying to repair some damage with the gay community, even if it's only through cosmetics.

"Only" through cosmetics? Kiehl's products are no ordinary cosmetics. S&C is shrewd: they know the way to our hearts is through our pores.

Sure, that Aaron Charney might seem cute and well-meaning. But who wouldn't kick him to the curb for a lifetime supply of Facial Fuel?

Correction: According to various commenters, Sullivan & Cromwell personnel were present for the job fair as well. "S&C was front-and-center at Lav Law. A friend of mine called me from the fair to tell me how pallid and haggard they looked."

Kiehl's [official website]

* This may come as a surprise to some of you, but Chambermaid isn't the only law-related book that has been published in the past six months. Check out Nicole Black's enthusiastic review of Ivy Briefs, by Columbia Law School grad Martha Kimes. [Legal Antics]

* Harvard Law School snags Bill Rubenstein, a prominent gay law prof. So why are they keeping it on the down low? [Leonard Link]

* Justice Alito thinks some of his colleagues need to shut their pieholes. We think their first names rhyme with "Beano" and "Even." [Legal Times via NYM Daily Intelligencer]

* Sarbanes-Oxley: Hot or Not? [DealBreaker]

* More advice for Loyola 2L: If your non-Biglaw job doesn't pay you enough, try dumpster diving! [ABA Journal]

* Willkie gets sued -- and we're reminded of this lawsuit. State and local governments don't seem to like Biglaw much these days. [San Diego Union-Tribune]

* Hold the cheese. Or get sued for lots of cheddar. [Charleston Daily Mail]

Here's some follow-up on our Lawsuit of the Day, Greer v. 1-800-Flowers. Plaintiff Leroy Greer is suing the online florist for revealing to his wife that he had flowers delivered to his girlfriend -- resulting in said wife divorcing his sorry ass.

Some readers who have seen the complaint offered these comments:

1. "I've never heard of these lawyers [Kennitra M. Foote & Associates]. They're definitely not powerhouses of the Houston bar."

2. In terms of damages, "the guy is asking for $1 million (it's in the demand letter)."

3. "Please note on page 25 (the receipt) that the delivery "MUST INCLUDE... Cuddly Plush/ Stuffed Animal" (emphasis in original). The occasion for the flowers was "Love & Romance."

Yup, that's right. Take a look at the receipt for yourself (Exhibit D to Greer's Complaint):

Note the handwritten scrawl at the bottom of the receipt, presumably from Greer's wife: "Be a man! If you got caught red handed then don't still lie. Your tmobile has her number so why still lie."

Interesting. Could this furnish a possible defense for 1-800-Flowers? If there was already ample evidence of Greer's infidelity, can 1-800-Flowers really be blamed for his marriage unraveling?

Earlier: Lawsuit of the Day: Greer v. 1-800-Flowers

If you're a married man planning on sending flowers to your mistress, we have a tip for you: do NOT use 1-800-FLOWERS (as if you needed to be told).

Check out this interesting case, filed in the Southern District of Texas (Houston), and included in this morning's Courthouse News Service (subscription):

Leroy Greer v. 1-800-Flowers.Com Inc.
8/6/2007
H-07-2543 (Houston)

Breach of contract action in which the defendants agreed to keep the plaintiff's order of flowers for his girlfriend private, with no record of the transaction mailed to him at his home or office.

Months later, the defendants sent a thank you card to the plaintiff's home, and his wife called the defendants for proof of the purchase. The defendants faxed the plaintiff's wife proof of his order of flowers for his girlfriend, which resulted in a divorce being filed.

Oh crap. In terms of tales of infidelity getting exposed, this one is definitely up there.

If plaintiff Leroy Greer prevails, what would be the appropriate measure of damages? Will 1-800-FLOWERS reimburse him for his divorce settlement, as a form of consequential damages?

And what about alimony -- will they pick up the tab for that? Or can they just send his ex-wife a bouquet of carnations each month, for the rest of her life?

Update: More details about the lawsuit appear here.

Correction: Thanks, commenters. Scratch the reference to "alimony," and replace it with "spousal support."

Leroy Greer v. 1-800-Flowers.Com (subscription) [Courthouse News Service]

On Friday, we reported that if you're at Skadden, you can use your $3,000 technology allowance to buy an iPhone. We now have some clarifications about that good news.

From a Skadden source:

1. While you can use your tech allowance to buy just about anything "tech-y" at Skadden, the tech dept has made it clear that the iPhone is NOT compatible with Skadden tech infrastructure. See below [posting reproduced after the jump].

2. The iPhone isn't excluded [from the tech allowance], but since you're basically required to have a Blackberry for business purchases, they would likely frown on purchasing both a Blackberry (the monthly Blackberry service comes out of the tech allowance) and an iPhone (where the entire monthly phone-data package would likely be redundant).

3. What's the point of having two devices strapped to your hip? Isn't one enough? As soon as a reliable Blackberry client comes out for the iPhone, I think demand will force the tech folks to support the iPhone. Right now don't even bother asking to get your Skadden email working on an iPhone.

We thank our tipster for explaining these finer points.

In the comments to our prior post, people expressed an interest in a forum for discussing workplace perks -- i.e., "the fringe benefits that vary between Biglaw firms -- tech allowances, book allowances, gym memberships, home loans, etc."

We're happy to oblige. But let's do this in an organized way. Over the next week or so, we'll put up a series of posts on fringe benefits, with each post dedicated to discussion of a specific type of perk.

Let's get the ball rolling. Please treat this post as the open thread for discussion of technology allowances. Thanks.

Lots of interesting debate in the comments over the wild rumor that Skadden might raise starting salaries to $195,000 before the year's end.

Some think it's crazy talk. Others note that it might simply mark a return to Skadden's prior practice of paying above-market base salaries, combined with smaller year-end bonuses (designed to bring total comp for Skadden associates up to market, depending upon other firms' year-end bonuses).

Anyway, regardless of what you think about that gossip, here's something that's confirmed:

tipster: interesting tidbit
ATL: I'm all ears
tipster: skadden will reimburse associates for iphone purchases from their tech allowance
ATL: oh cool!
tipster: Pretty much makes skadden associates the coolest on the planet!

Here are more details on the Skadden technology allowance, from the firm website:

The firm provides up to $3,000 to attorneys for the purchase of technology equipment at the commencement of employment. After 2 years of service, the firm provides additional allowances for the purchase of approved technology equipment.

If you're Skadden associate, go treat yourself to five iPhones. Then send the four you don't use to your friends at ATL.

Update: Some caveats about Skadden and iPhones appear here.

Attorneys and Law Students: FAQs [Skadden Arps Slate Meagher & Flom]

Earlier: More Wacky Rumor-Mongering: Skadden to $195K?
Waiting for the iPhone: An iWitness Account

In our recent post about Nina Totenberg's poorly received graduation speech at Georgetown University Law Center, we solicited your anecdotes about her. La Nina is the Great Diva of the Supreme Court press corps, and colorful stories about her are legion.

We received a few submissions. Here's one to get the ball rolling:

My county bar colleagues and I got sworn in to the SCOTUS bar back in [the late 1990s]. It was a real thrill. We got to meet the Clerk of Court and had a private coffee-and-danish session with Justice Ginsburg.

The thrill of it was almost ruined by seeing Nina Totenberg chewing gum in court while a couple of decisions were handed down. We're talking chewing it like cud, Britney Spears style. I was not impressed.

And later that day, Totenberg was spotted driving down Constitution Avenue... with a baby in her lap!

We recognize, of course, that Nina Totenberg has many defenders and devoted fans -- groupies, even. After all, "[d]ue of extremely high demand," this NPR gift item -- the Nina Totin' Bag -- is out of stock:

Troubling. Deeply, deeply troubling.

Have a Nina Totenberg tale to tell? Send it to us by email (subject line: "Nina Totenberg"). Thanks.

The Nina Totin' Bag [NPR Shop]

Earlier: Worst Graduation Gift: Nina Totenberg as Your Commencement Speaker

Okay, this is kinda random. But it's Friday, so please give us some latitude.

(Also, we have previously covered this subject, in a way that connected it to the legal world. So there.)

As you all know, today is I-Day: the first day that Apple's coveted iPhone will be available for sale to the general public. At 6 PM, Apple and AT&T stores will open their doors, and the masses will flood in. Long lines have already formed in different cities around the country.

We were just IM'ing with one ATL reader standing outside an AT&T store waiting for his iPhone. If you're curious, you can read portions of our exchange after the jump.

And we're not speaking metaphorically, about the remaining decisions from October Term 2006.

We're talking about the shoes of celebrated Supreme Court reporter Jan Crawford Greenburg, of ABC News. Will a pair of Manolos fall from the sky?

So, what happened to JCG's footwear? Was it a case of sabotage, by an increasingly threatened rival?

Go Home Already: Missed Connections [DCist]

Hi, Billy Merck here once again, hosting through the end of the week so that Lat can take another brief vacation. No intro post this time; check here or here if you don't know who we are. But enough of that, let's get right to it.

The Wall Street Journal has this article about the extremely high demand from employees for and the equally strong reticence on the part of businesses, including of course large law firms, to give access to corporate email services on the soon to be released Apple iPhone. From the article:

While millions of consumers are eagerly anticipating Apple Inc.'s launch of its iPhone next week, Bill Caraher is bracing for the worst.

Mr. Caraher, technology director of von Briesen & Roper, a Milwaukee law firm, says he is being besieged by inquiries from employees wondering whether the office's email system can be used with the device.

His answer, at least initially, has been no. The main problem is that the iPhone can't send and receive email through the company's corporate BlackBerry email servers. He says he is unwilling to look into workarounds, because they might compromise the company's security. "It's another hole in the system people can exploit," he says.

Despite concerns about opening up email systems, Apple is apparently pushing to grab some crackberry market share:

All this may change later this month when Apple plans to unveil the iPhone. According to a person close to Apple, the company is expected to fight for this market, currently dominated by players like BlackBerry's RIM, Palm Inc. and, increasingly, Nokia Corp. and Motorola. If Apple comes up with an acceptable strategy for integrating with business software systems, many companies might change their tunes.

At least one law firm is open to the idea:

Other businesses are taking a wait-and-see approach. Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft LLP of New York has been getting hit with a range of iPhone inquiries, according to spokeswoman Claudia Freeman. The law firm may try to support the device once it is launched, she says.

So we have three questions we'd like to throw out there to open up discussion:

1) Will law firms open up their email systems to the iPhone?
2) If they do, will the iPhone grab a substantial chunk of the crackberry market?
3) Will whether a firm integrates the iPhone into email services become a factor in the compensation wars?

* "Crackberry" is used in the context of this post to refer to any device similar in function to a Blackberry, and is not limited to the Blackberry.

May and June are the peak months for law school graduations. And you know what that means: dreadful graduation gifts.

So we've decided to embark upon a quest to find America's most egregious graduation gift. If you have a nominee, please send it to us by email (subject line: "Worst Graduation Gift"). Please include a photograph of the gift if possible.

Pictured at right, the current frontrunner: a New York City snow globe, given to a recent Columbia Law School grad, by his out-of-town aunt (who was very proud of her find). Our tipster wondered: "I LIVE in New York. What do I want with an NYC snowglobe?"

P.S. We assume that the two tallest buildings in the snow globe are supposed to be the Twin Towers. If so, they're not a very good likeness. They look more like 125 Broad Street -- the not-so-happy home of Sullivan & Cromwell.