Us Weekly is like The Economist of celebrity gossip. If you can make it through the latest issue, you're all caught up in the world.

To be sure, going through an issue of Us Weekly (so many pictures!) is easier than plowing your way through The Economist. So over the weekend, we did just that -- and learned something new and interesting. From the latest issue (write-up not available online):

Jennifer Hudson has landed a Harvard hottie! The actress, 26, who split from her long-time beau, maintenance engineer [Ed. note: janitor?] James Payton, is getting serious with Chicago lawyer David Otunga, 28, who appeared on I Love New York 2.

"She wants to get engaged," a source tells Hot Stuff. For his part, Otunga tells Us, "Jennifer is a wonderful girl."

Fabulous! How many HLS grads and Sidley Austin alums make it into the pages of Us Weekly?

Update: We intended the question to be rhetorical. But as a commenter notes, "Michelle Obama was extensively covered in last week's issue."

A little more discussion, including commentary from an Otunga classmate from Harvard Law, after the jump.

Ah, those inscrutable transcripts from the University of Chicago Law School -- gotta love 'em. They're chock full of numbers, but they don't use the standard "As = 90s, Bs = 80s" scale. For example, if your grades are all in the 80s, you're a rock star.

Nobody can make heads or tails of the U. Chicago transcripts. So what's wrong with a little "tweaking" here and there? From the ABA Journal (via TaxProf Blog):

A lawyer who attended the University of Chicago Law School has been accused in an ethics complaint of lying about his grades when he applied for a summer position at Sidley Austin.

Loren Elliotte Friedman is accused in a complaint filed May 6 by the Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission. He was listed as an associate at Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle in New York on the firm's website earlier Tuesday, but his name was removed by the afternoon.

Joseph Pizzurro, managing partner of Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, told ABAJournal.com that Friedman, a bankruptcy associate, disclosed the bar complaint to the law firm on Friday and submitted his resignation.

The complaint says Friedman altered transcripts of his law school grades in 20 classes to reflect better grades than he received. Friedman worked at Sidley Austin the summer of 2002, and the firm extended an employment offer for him to begin work as an associate in 2003.

The complaint also alleges that Friedman failed to reveal he flunked out of medical school in his application to law school, and that he failed to disclose the altered law school transcripts in his bar application.

It looks like medicine, and now law, haven't worked out for Loren Friedman. What's next?

Maybe betting on horse races? The Legal Profession Blog has dubbed his three alleged omissions a "trifecta."

More details, after the jump.

We've been hearing that the Los Angeles office of Sidley Austin suffers from perilously low morale. To address the situation and get feedback from associates, earlier this week the firm held what it called a "mini-retreat": three days of off-site meetings between management and associates, from Tuesday through Thursday. Fun fun.

For a "mini-retreat," the location wasn't terribly exotic. Associates were dragged across the street to the Biltmore Hotel, in batches: one day for senior associates, one day for midlevels, and one day for juniors. The meetings sucked up about half a day for each lawyer. There were no chair massages.

While some appreciated the firm's attempt to address the morale crisis, the meetings were not well-received in all quarters. The idea of mandatory, lengthy, and non-billable meetings didn't thrill associates who may have to make up the lost hours over the weekend.

The main source of discontent at Sidley - LA appears to be bonus levels. Their bonuses are described as a fraction of New York market, even for lawyers with strong reviews, and even below the market level for Los Angeles. We hear that a fair number of Sidley lawyers are interviewing around town in search of greener pastures.

We reached out to both Sidley and their outside PR firm, yesterday and today. We have not heard back from them yet, but we will let you know if we do.

We received over five hundred responses to last Thursday's ATL / Lateral Link survey on client contact, and most of you have been enjoying extensive client interaction:

Results: How many times have you interacted with clients in the last month?

Of course, not all client contacts are created equal:

More findings and discussion, after the jump.

In last month's ATL / Lateral Link survey we asked you which holidays you worked on, or expected to work on, during 2007. About half of you reported that you had worked on Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Last week, we asked you how you fared this year. Did you take the day off to honor a champion of civil rights, or did you make it a "day on"?

We received just under 1,300 responses, and 44% of you reported that you took the day off. Associates in New York, Los Angeles and Boston were most likely to celebrate the holiday, while associates in Chicago, Atlanta, the Bay Area, and Texas were most likely to be working. (Respondents in the Bay Area were also most likely to work over Christmas and New Year's. Is it time for them to get New York bonuses?)

How did it break down on a firm by firm basis? DLA Piper, Milbank, Sidley & Austin, Dechert, Hunton & Williams, Jones Day, Latham, Mayer Brown, McDermott, Hughes Hubbard, McGuire Woods, Morgan Lewis, Nixon Peabody, Paul Hastings, and Sullivan & Cromwell each had multiple happy associates who reported that they had taken the day off. Kirkland & Ellis, Baker Botts, Dewey & LeBoeuf, O'Melveny & Myers, Weil, and Winston & Strawn each had mixed responses. Associates at Skadden, however, uniformly reported that they had worked the holiday, as Martin Luther King Jr. day is a "floating" holiday for the firm.

Of those who spent the day at the office, about 54% reported that they weren't actually asked to work the holiday, but had things they needed to get done. About a quarter reported that their offices were open. Another quarter said that partners told them to work on the holiday. About 8% were asked to work by clients. A surprising number of respondents wrote in that other associates had told them to work on the holiday.

A little over a third of respondents who worked on the holiday thought that the work did not justify the sacrifice.

From this morning's ATL mailbag:

It may not be that juicy of a story, but almost all of the soon-to-be first-year associates at Sidley Austin LA are pissed about the start dates they gave us. Our available start dates are August 11 or September 8. The first start date is just 10 days after the California bar. Are we being whiny bitches, or is this messed up?

We lean towards "messed up." But we're biased in favor of late start dates -- we showed up for our first day of law firm work in December, after extensive post-clerkship travels. (We couldn't do a post-bar trip because our clerkship started a week after the bar exam.)

So, readers, whaddya think? Do the Sidley associates have just cause for complaint? Or are these starting dates par for the course in Biglaw? What's your law firm's policy?

Update (11:45 AM): Based on the comments thus far, it seems the weight of authority favors "whiny bitches." But let's do this more systematically: take our poll.

The recruiting season for 2Ls -- scooped up by law firms eager to hire them as summer associates, fatten them up at fancy lunches, and get them addicted to a luxury lifestyle -- is pretty much over. So now is a good time to take stock of who fared well (and who didn't).

From a tipster at Sidley Austin (New York):

On its internal site for new summers, the firm releases the list of incoming 2008 summer associate class. It is 38 people long, and one has to assume hiring has likely ended. The list from last year was accessible until recently, and that list was 62 people long. Additionally, NALP data shows the firm's NYC office had 58 and 54 summers in 2005 and 2006 respectively.

The significant drop in number of incoming summer associates this summer may be a proxy for the economic health of the firm. In a way, it is positive, because it indicates a proactive measure on the part of firm. That is, they aren't going to risk bringing aboard more summers than they can hire; chances of not getting an offer due to a downturn in business are much lower.

That's an optimistic take. Most people would read a drop in summer associate class size as a sign of declining recruiting appeal or "mojo" among law students. Saint-cum-superman Barack Obama met his wife while summering at Sidley. Was that fact not enough to sway recruits?

Update: We have contacted the firm for comment and are waiting to hear back from them.

Here are some other things we've been hearing (mere rumors, so take with a grain of salt):

1. Wiley Rein: vastly oversubscribed, perhaps due to their topping the Am Law 100 in profits per partner, thanks to the RIM / Blackberry settlement.

2. Wachtell Lipton: our former firm, which we shamelessly plug in these pages, is also hosting a much larger summer class than usual. Office space could become an issue.

3. Kirkland & Ellis: a somewhat lower yield than usual. Some people blame us, but we've offered both sides of the story. We also give K&E lots of props around here for their generous bonuses (and awesome summer associates).

So, if you know: How did your firm do in the summer associate sweepstakes? Please discuss, in the comments (or send us email if you prefer). Thanks.

Further Update: Some tips we received via email, after the jump.

For non-New York associates of Sidley Austin, Monday is the big day. The firm just sent out a memo informing them that bonuses will be distributed at that time. As you may recall, the firm previously announced special bonuses, but only for its New York office -- news that was not well-received outside of NYC.

If you're hoping for hard numbers, you'll be disappointed; the memo is rather vague. It states:

[W]e continue to determine bonuses on an individual basis and consistent with our culture and practice, will communicate with you individually about them. Because year-end bonuses remain discretionary and are tailored to individual circumstances, no description of the relevant factors could be exhaustive. As in recent years, however, we again have considered the hours that each associate has spent on chargeable, pro bono, and certain non-chargeable matters such as legal services to the Firm, as well as the quality of each associate's work and other special contributions to the Firm.

You can read the whole thing, in all of its glorious opacity, after the jump.

Sorry, we were out drinking (more than we should). That's why we didn't immediately post the bonus memo for Sidley Austin (New York).

Now we're back -- and tipsy. Fortunately, posting a bonus memo is not like operating heavy machinery.

The email announcing New York bonuses was forwarded to Sidley associates outside of New York, with this intro:

For your information, please find the message below to New York associates announcing a special bonus being provided in New York. As noted, the special New York bonuses are in addition to year-end bonuses, which will be the subject of a Firm-wide announcement in the coming days and which we expect will generally follow the pattern of prior years. We appreciate and value the work of all our associates.

But the work of non-NYC associates, not so much. Not surprisingly, Sidley associates outside of New York are not happy campers:

"Chicago morale should be wonderful after this..."

"Management committee forwarded the email to all other offices -- how considerate."

"Note that the Management Committee sent the bonus memo to the NY office only, and it took them an hour before they realized they'd better circulate it to all associates (so we don't learn about it from you first). There's going to be significant grumbling in DC, Chicago and LA about the yawning chasm between the bonuses we'll likely get compared to the apparent total bonuses in NY."

For the curious among you, the full Sidley Austin memo appears after the jump.

We just caught the second half of I Love New York 2 (previously discussed here and here). Wow.

Even by the debased standards of reality television, the show couldn't be any more trashy. We felt our IQ plummeting as the minutes passed. We won't tune in next week, since we don't have the points to spare.

And no, we're not TV snobs. Our favorite shows include ANTM, Gossip Girl, and Desperate Housewives. We like good trash TV as much as, if not more than, the next guy (or girl). But it has to be quality trash, if that makes any sense. (As for defining quality trash, we cite Justice Stewart: we know it when we see it.)

But look, don't take our word for it. From a commenter (one of the few to opine on the show itself, as opposed to affirmation action, the legal academy, and the plight of minorities in America):

Since I'm not arguing about race, HLS, Obama or any of these issues, my post probably doesn't belong. But I was personally quite amused to [see] a Big Law associate on my secret vice: vh1 reality programming....

Though I would have to say, seeing as how law firms are in the business of questioning the "good judgment" of associates, I think exhibiting an interest in dating NEW YORK [a/k/a Tiffany Pollard] is clearly a poor example of judgment.

She's crazy, looks like a [transsexual] with a cheap breast enhancement, and did I forget to mention CRAZY?

Frighteningly enough, the exact same description -- "crazy, looks like a [transsexual] with a cheap breast enhancement, and did I forget to mention CRAZY" -- also applies to Tiffany "New York" Pollard's mother, Sister Patterson. While we harbor a weakness for strong, African-American women, we want them to look like women (and work at the Justice Department).

And what about the fate of the two legal eagles on the show -- David Otunga, a Harvard Law School graduate and former Sidley Austin associate, and Juan McCullum, a 2L at Mississippi College of Law? As you can see from the show's Wikipedia page, which has already been updated with the results of tonight's episode, they're both still in the running.

And Christopher Columbus Langdell is turning over in his grave.

I Love New York 2 [VH1 (official website)]
I Love New York 2 [Wikipedia]

Earlier: Sidley Hates on Old People, Reality TV Stars
He Feels Pretty, Oh So Pretty

Law firms love free publicity. Especially law firms that have been in the news for having to pay $27.5 million to settle age discrimination claims by former partners.

Or maybe not:

David Otunga, a 2006 graduate of Harvard Law School and former associate at Sidley Austin, appeared in the first episode of I Love New York 2 on VH1 last night.

In case you're not familiar with the show, here's a synopsis:

"Tiffany "New York" Pollard is jumping back into the dating pool to find the man of her dreams. A fresh crop of twenty men are brought together to compete for her heart and this time the selection process has a twist....some of the chosen contestants vying for New York's heart have been hand-picked by online users and some have been chosen by Tiffany's outspoken mother, Sister Patterson."

Back to our tipster:

[Otunga] was brought in as one of three or four "Mama's Boys" (potential suitors selected by New York's mother) and nicknamed "Punk." He told New York that he was perfect for her, since he was an HLS grad and a lawyer at "one of the top law firms in the world."

Unfortunately, that law firm -- Sidley Austin -- didn't appreciate his appearance on the show, and the firm recently "suggested" to him that it may be in his best interest to pursue his "acting career" instead of his legal career. He's no longer on the firm's webpage.

More after the jump.

Although the pace seems to be slowing, our open threads on Vault 100 firms continue to generate a decent quantity (and quality) of comments. So we'll press on, for the benefit of those of you who are now in the throes of the law firm application process.

Please pose questions about and share insights into these five law firms (in Vault 100 order, with prestige scores in parentheses):

16. Williams & Connolly LLP (7.234)
17. Sidley Austin LLP (7.232)
18. Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher LLP (7.158)
19. O'Melveny & Myers LLP (7.105)
20. White & Case LLP (7.092)

You can discuss them in the comments. Thanks.

The Vault Top 100 Law Firms [Vault]

Earlier: Vault 1-5; Vault 6-10; Vault 11-15

The individual who ran this Google search presumably isn't at Sidley Austin. Because if he were, he wouldn't have gotten fleeced on his massage. From a tipster:

Sidley is now going to have chair massages every Friday. They come by on Fridays for 5 hours; you have to make an appointment.

While it's not free, $1/minute isn't a bad price at all. I can see myself having a regular 20 minute massage to end my week.

We agree. A dollar a minute, or $60 an hour -- not that you'd have a 60-minute chair massage, it's just for purposes of comparison -- is much cheaper than what you'd pay at a halfway decent day spa.

A dollar a minute is also less expensive than calling a 900 number (which Cravath lawyers are known to do). But then again, the Sidley chair massages probably don't include happy endings.

Does your firm offer massages or other forms of stress relief? Please discuss, in the comments.

Earlier: Best Conference Call Screw-Up -- EVER

Some good news, from a very happy tipster:

Sidley has just announced that they have raised clerkship bonuses to $50k! YES!

We've confirmed this raise with sources at the firm. So you can treat it as confirmed.

Update (2:55 PM): In response to some follow-up questions from us, the firm's D.C. hiring partner, Joseph Guerra, explained:

"It applies to all domestic offices, and the bonus is the same for a one-year clerkship, a two-year clerkship or two one-year clerkships (provided one of the two isn't a Supreme Court clerkship)."

Happy Friday!

Apart from our three finalist couples, there isn't much to highlight for you this week: just some minor WGWAG action, and, in the Vows column, a nice shout-out to LEWW's temporary home city.

So without further ado, we bring you our fabulous finalists:

1. Nykeesha Davis and Chad Peterman

2. Deborah Bernstein and David Foster

3. Ellen Bradford and Todd McIntosh

More about these couples, after the jump.

We're beginning to wonder whether this "NY to 190" business is just a big practical joke. But even though no real information has emerged, and the co-chair of Simpson's personnel committee told us his firm is "not currently considering an increase in associate salaries," the rumors continue to swirl.

Here are two email messages we've received that are representative of many others:

"NYC big firm starting salary may be increasing to $190k in the coming weeks. My source was a recruiter whose friend at Sidley told him the news. Have you all heard anything or is this bs?"

"[A] friend of mine, who is a partner at a big Chicago firm, with a large presence in NYC, mentioned that pay raises are likely in NYC and that the firm has budgeted $190k as the starting first-year salary."

Such gossip is not far removed from this commenter's parody:

My dad's step-mom's estranged aunt is a janitor at Cravath, and she said she found a scribbled note on the floor of a partner's office saying "damn, looks like we have to go to at least $175k soon; call wife re: can't add second pool to home in Nantucket this summer."

We wish we had more to tell you right now. We'll continue to dig.

But at this point, your guess is as good as ours. So feel speculate to discuss in the comments. Vote in our reader polls, if you haven't done so already.

Will any of this chatter make associate pay raises happen -- or happen faster? Unlikely. But hey, there are worse ways to pass the time.

Earlier: Nationwide Pay Raise Watch: The Simpson Rumor
Nationwide Pay Raise Watch: Official Comment from Simpson
ATL Reader Poll: WWNYD?

It's a busy morning, right before the big Memorial Day holiday weekend. There's breaking news of associate pay raises from Sidley Austin, Arnold & Porter (hi James Sandman!!!), and Brown Rudnick.

The Sidley Austin memo appears after the jump. The raise to the $160K scale covers Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Washington. It's retroactive to May 1.

The Arnold & Porter news was reported by The BLT: Blog of Legal Times. If you have the A&P memo, please email it to us.

We learned of the Brown Rudnick raise by email. We don't have the memo, but our source sent us a salary table, which also appears below the fold.

Discuss.

If you're an associate at a top Chicago law firm, hoping that Sidley Austin LLP will kick off a round of pay raises in the Windy City, we have some advice for you:

Don't hold your breath.

(On the other hand, sometimes law firms boost associate pay to distract from bad publicity. Might Sidley take that approach here?)

Sidley agrees to $39.4 million penalty to IRS [Chicago Tribune]
Sidley Austin Settles Government Tax Shelter Investigations [Business Wire (press release)]

We're a little late on this (and blame our tardiness on associate pay fixation). But here are two interesting tidbits of Supreme Court gossip, from Tony Mauro of the Legal Times:

1. Carter Phillips' Kin Is Alito Clerk [Legal Times]

One of Justice Samuel Alito's incoming clerks, Jessica Phillips -- who has been described as "beautiful and brainy" -- is the daughter of renowned Supreme Court litigator Carter Phillips. This means that Jessica "will have no involvement in cases in which her father’s firm, Sidley Austin, participates" -- which has ranged as high as 20 percent of the Court's docket.

(Btw, Jessica Phillips is not the first female clerk whose father also clerked for the Court. Mauro ticks off a list of five daughters of male clerks who went on to become clerks themselves. Check it out here.)

2. New Job for Mrs. Roberts [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]
More on Jane Roberts' New Job [The BLT]

Lawyer Jane Sullivan Roberts, the wife of Chief Justice John Roberts Jr. has a new job -- and it's not at a law firm. The leading legal search firm Major, Lindsey & Africa announced this morning that Mrs. Roberts is leaving Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman's D.C. office to become leader of the In-House Practice Group in Major, Lindsey & Africa's D.C. office.

Inquiring minds want to know: Will Jane Roberts continue to earn more than her husband in her new position?

(That was surely the case in her old job, when Jane Sullivan Roberts was a partner at Pillsbury Winthrop. Even though her most recent post at the firm was Executive Partner for Talent Development, which probably didn't involve a lot of client-billable work, it would be shocking for a Biglaw partner to earn less than her hubby's $212,100 salary as Chief Justice.)

We're behind by a few weeks in Legal Eagle Wedding Watch, but catching up won't be that hard. For the weekends of January 28 and February 4, only two couples involving a lawyer made the New York Times wedding pages -- one for each week.

So each of these couples wins as Couple of the Week, securing a default judgment in their favor. The two prevailing couples are:

1. Joy Chang, William Schaaf (January 28)

2. Jordan Chattman, Joseph Shumofsky (February 4)

We must still rate and review these newlyweds, however, so they can participate in the Couple of the Month contest. In case you're interested, our write-ups and scores appear after the jump.