Sports

Horribly embarrassing for everybody, but this guy (who topped the 'F*** List')

When Tom Wolfe wrote I Am Charlotte Simmons, he interviewed his Duke daughter and Stanford son about their college experiences, and tried to capture what university life would be like for a highly intelligent, young, innocent virgin at an elite school obsessed with frat parties and athletics. It was an enjoyable read. If you want something similar to that, but a non-fiction version with less innocence and more alcohol, check out An education beyond the classroom: excelling in the realm of horizontal academics.

2010 Duke grad Karen Owen facetiously called it her “Senior Honors Thesis.” I summarized it over at my new bloggerly digs:

Owen kept detailed notes on her sexual adventures with 13 members of Duke’s lacrosse, baseball and tennis teams over the last four years. She then put those notes, along with the athletes’ names and photos into a 42-slide PowerPoint presentation, that concludes with a ranking of the 13 on what she calls her “F*** list.” (Congratulations, I suppose, to this guy for topping the list.)

Owen sent it by email to three friends, and then because it was too brilliant, hilarious, and painstakingly-elaborate to keep among four friends, one of them forwarded it on. Like an STD in a frat house, it went viral…

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I have friends who support the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) as an effective non-playoff means for determining the national champion of college football. These friends say that the BCS preserves the sanctity of the college football season (“Every game is a playoff”). They say it gives power conferences (like the Southeastern Confederacy and the Big Oil Alumni conferences) their due for their consistently tough conference schedules. And they say (somewhat counter-intuitively but almost certainly true) that a playoff system favors the team that gets hot at the right time, not the team that was the best in college football over the course of the season. They don’t say that the current system is perfect, but they don’t view a playoff as inherently better just because the champion will be decided “on the field” after a tournament.

Of course, these friends are elitist, anti-competitive pricks who support BCS teams and use their lawyer skills to avoid punishment from bar fights they start when their teams get their asses kicked.

Me, I’m a man of the people. Okay, not really. But I am a man who stands against the ridiculous accumulation of wealth by a cherished few. The BCS is just a huge pot of money that only a few conferences and athletic directors have access to. And as long as multimillion-dollar boondoggles are being thrown around, I think everybody should have a shot at getting in on the action.

Of course, it’s really hard to get rich people to give up some of their money for the greater good of a larger community. They won’t do it willingly. Thankfully, this is why God invented tax law. Our brother-from-another-mother, Caleb Newquist of Going Concern, explains how a political action committee is trying to use the tax code to stop the BCS….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “How to Take Down the BCS? The Same Way We Got Capone: Tax Law”

It’s actually not the divorce of the Los Angeles Dodgers, but the divorce of real estate mogul Frank McCourt and his wife, Jamie. Some call it the Dodger Divorce, however, since this bitter litigation could determine the fate of the storied baseball team — an asset worth hundreds of millions.

The couple is fighting over ownership of the Dodgers in a Los Angeles courtroom, aided by a long list of leading litigators. Frank McCourt is represented by Stephen Susman of Susman Godfrey, among others, and Jamie McCourt’s legal team is led by David Boies of Boies Schiller. (For a more complete listing of the lawyers involved, see here.)

But right now Susman and Boies aren’t the lawyers in the limelight. Rather, all eyes are focused on attorneys from Bingham McCutchen. The Boston Globe reports:

The high-powered firm is suddenly at the center of the drama because of work done by its lawyers. At issue is the wording of a document signed by both McCourts six years ago. According to media reports, three copies of the marital property agreement use the word “inclusive,” which would make Frank McCourt the sole owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers, and three copies say “exclusive,” which would make Jamie McCourt the co-owner of the venerable Major League Baseball franchise.

This is not the first time we’ve covered how a tiny difference in language — just two little characters, “in” as opposed to “ex” — could mean millions. Remember the single-digit error that could cost a real estate company tens of millions? See also the $900,000 comma and the $40,000 missing “L.”

Yikes. This is such stuff as lawyers’ bad dreams are made of. Law truly is a game of inches. (When bloggers make typos, commenters make fun of us; when lawyers make typos, people die lose money — sometimes lots and lots of it.)

The lead lawyer from Bingham McCutchen, Larry Silverstein — no relation to the World Trade Center real estate developer, as far as we know — admits that he messed up in preparing the marital property agreement (MPA)….

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Bengals cheerleader has a short-lived victory

This story may provide some good fodder for “dumb cheerleader” jokes. Sarah Jones, a high school English teacher and cheerleader for the Cincinnati Bengals, was understandably upset when a gossip website called TheDirty.com published an article entitled “The Dirty Bengals Cheerleader,” asking, “Why are high school teachers freaks in the sack?”

According to Jones’s December 23, 2009 complaint, the article, published on December 7, 2009, quoted a commenter who alleged that Jones had slept with all the members of the Bengals team and had STDs. The complaint for defamation, libel, and invasion of privacy states that Jones’s school had seen the post and that her students had commented on it. Hopefully, not with insight into how freaky she is in the sack…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Weekend: Rah Rah… Whoops.”

Leicester Bryce Stovell

LeBron James is taking his talents to Washington. Well, at least his lawyers are. Lawyers for King James have filed their motion to dismiss the suit filed by Leicester Bryce Stovell, a D.C.-based lawyer. Stovell claims that he is LeBron’s father and that LeBron’s mother, Gloria James, tampered with the paternity test that would have proven his claims. Our own Gabe Acevedo did an interview with Stovell back in July.

We offered LeBron the opportunity to appear on Above the Law during an hour-long special called “The Paternity,” where he would reveal the identity not of his biological father, but of whichever man gave him the best chance of expanding LeBron’s global reach. My money was on Justin Bieber, but so far LeBron has declined our offer.

So, for the moment, we’ll have to content ourselves with what his lawyers say about this Leicester Bryce Stovell character…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “After the Way He Treated Cleveland, Why Would Anyone Want To Be LeBron James’s Father?”

You know fantasy football has taken over the American consciousness when a fake lawyer threatening fake sanctions in an ad campaign makes the news. This morning the ABA Journal ran a profile of Norman Tugwater, a fantasy sports lawyer played by Gary Busey:

“I’m getting ready to clean up with the mop of justice,” Tugwater proclaims in his YouTube video. “If you refuse to pay our athletes, we’ll come find you, and squeeze it out of you like a tube of toothpaste.”

Tugwater is actually actor Gary Busey, and his video is part of an ad campaign for VitaminWater. “I don’t think twice about coming after fantasy owners. In fact, I rarely think at all,” he writes on Twitter. He continues the taunts on Facebook, where he proclaims, “I wrote the book on fantasy sports law. I also have the only copy.”

That’s right, America is so into fantasy football that Gary Busey is getting work.

I’ve kept my head in the sand regarding fantasy football for a long time. But I can’t ignore it any longer. Let Gary Busey inspire you up below, and then join in ATL’s first reader-only fantasy football league…

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Yesterday we covered the divorce of golf sensation Tiger Woods and his stunningly beautiful wife, former model Elin Nordegren. We noted that Nordegren was represented by McGuireWoods. Although McGuireWoods is a top firm, especially in its home state of Virginia, it’s “not known for its matrimonial practice,” as Nathan Koppel of the WSJ Law Blog observed.

How did McGuireWoods land this plum assignment? Several of you pointed it out in comments, and Brian Baxter reported on it over at Am Law Daily. The short answer: family ties. To quote the slogan of McGuireWoods: “Relationships… drive results.”

A statement issued yesterday by the divorcing couple noted that Nordegren was represented by, among others, a McGuireWoods attorney by the name of Josefin Lonnborg. The divorce was filed in Bay County Circuit Court, Florida; Josefin Lonnborg practices in London. Why was a corporate lawyer out of the U.K. involved in a U.S. matrimonial case?

Here’s why: Josefin Lonnborg and Elin Nordegren are twin sisters. And despite her impressive legal credentials — Lonnborg speaks fluent English and Swedish, has worked at law firms in Stockholm and London, and has a Master of Laws degree from the London School of Economics — she is more than just “lawyer hot.”

Yes, we know: pictures or it didn’t happen. So, pictures.

Warning: although the images below are perfectly safe for work, gentlemen may wish to be seated at desks before viewing, to avoid unseemly displays of… enthusiasm.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “How Did McGuireWoods Land the Tiger Woods Divorce Case? With the Help of a Hottie….”

This shouldn’t come as a huge surprise, given the acknowledged infidelity of golf superstar Tiger Woods, but now it’s official.

Woods and his wife of over five years, Elin Nordegren, filed for divorce today in Bay County Circuit Court, Florida. The terms of the settlement were undisclosed.

Their attorneys released a statement on behalf of the couple. ATL readers will recognize the name of at least one of the law firms involved….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Breaking: Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren File for Divorce”

I can’t remember the last time I was this happy about an indictment. From NPR (gavel bang: Going Concern):

Former New York Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens, who testified before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform in 2008, with his former trainer, Brian McNamee, has been indicted by a federal grand jury in Washington, D.C.

According to the Department of Justice, he has been “charged with one count of obstruction of Congress, three counts of making false statements and two counts of perjury.”

Go get him, feds. You go get that bloated, shady, suspicious, bat-throwing antichrist. Get ‘em all, I say; you lie to Congress, you get the horns!

Federal Grand Jury Indicts Former Major League Baseball Pitcher Roger Clemens [NPR]
Roger Clemens indicted [ESPN]

Rick Pitino and Karen Sypher

Just because a man deposits on your leg doesn’t mean you can take him to the bank. The jury in the Karen Sypher eight-day trial began deliberating yesterday at 3 p.m., and finished up today after about five hours — an eternity in Rick Pitino time.

While it may have been embarrassing for Louisville basketball coach Pitino to testify about his terrible sexual performance, it led to Sypher being found guilty of extortion, lying to federal agents, and witness retaliation. The jury is still out on whether she’s guilty of giving creepy head.

Sypher guilty on all counts [WAVE 3]
Sypher found guilty on all counts [Kentucky Sports Radio]

Earlier: The Bluegrass State’s Sordid Sports Trial (Or: University of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino must really hate Karen Sypher)

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