State Judges Are Clowns

Judge Susan McDunn

During the 2000 presidential campaign, Al Gore famously alluded to “powerful forces and powerful interests” that were out to get ordinary Americans. He received derision from some quarters for his vague invocation of mysterious forces that were conspiring to keep the people down — but maybe he had a point? As Henry Kissinger famously observed, “Even a paranoid has some real enemies.”

This brings us to the first of our two Judges of the Day, both out of the Chicago area. The first claims that she is “being persecuted extensively by many people in many ways.”

Let’s learn about the mysterious forces who are supposedly causing trouble for this jurist. Does she have actual enemies, or is she simply cuckoo in Cook County?

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* Paul Ceglia lost ANOTHER lawyer, this time after Ceglia got arrested on fraud charges. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* A Las Vegas family court judge has been charged with conspiracy, fraud, and money laundering, for allegedly devising and participating in a $3 million investment fraud scheme. So much for that whole “lest you be judged” thing. [8 News Now]

* Hunter Moore, the patron saint of creepy revenge porn sites, has been sued by Storage Wars star Brandi Passante for defamation. [Los Angeles Intellectual Property Trademark Attorney Blog]

* Speaking of creepy sex, happy Halloween!… unless you’re a registered sex offender. [ABA Journal]

* This discrimination ruling may have established a new judicial precedent: the Jersey Shore test. God help us. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Remember to send us pictures of your legally themed Halloween costumes for our contest! [Above the Law]

* Did the lead plaintiff in the job stats suit against Thomas Jefferson School of Law turn down a law job offer? Does TJSL teach its students anything about discovery? [ABA Journal]

* This judge may have a wee bit of an anger problem. [Legal Juice]

* The Democratic activist who bailed the UVA Law grad accused of forced sodomy out of jail has been arrested for a DUI. Based on her mugshot, it appears she may have been at a Halloween event or a Mike Tyson facepainting contest. [Daily Progress]

* What do Dolce & Gabbana have in common with Al Capone? No, not their impeccable fashion sense… [Fashionista]

* Keith Magness, the attorney accused of masturbating on his female colleague’s desk chair and dry cleaning, settled a lawsuit stemming from his allegedly unseemly behavior. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Eww, eww. Gross. Eww. [NOLA.com]


* Thomas Jefferson School of Law dean Rudy Hasl responded to those serious allegations of employment stat falsification by calling them a “crock of crap.” OK then! [ABA Journal]

* All the Republicans claiming their flagrantly sexist, diabolically anachronistic comments were simply “misinterpreted” need to stop misinterpreting the word “misinterpret.” [The Fix / Washington Post]

* BC Law appointed a professor specifically to help students deal with the “real world.” Not sure whether this is exciting or unbearably depressing. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A judge who gets caught sending shirtless photos of himself to other government employees is serious business. Not taking said business seriously is even more serious business. [Detroit Free Press]

* This new fashion blog is so offensive and it violates your privacy and it’s bad for America and I’m totally going to start reading it. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]

* This man’s lawsuit claims Justin Bieber stole his credit card and used it to buy a penis enlargement, among several other weird purchases. No, ATLCommentBot, I am not the plaintiff in this case. Sorry to disappoint. [Consumerist]

* A Seton Hall University Law School student saved an elderly woman’s life in dramatic fashion. Well done, sir. [Jersey Journal]

Perhaps Dechert meant this kind of Macho Man, instead?

* Congrats to Larren Nashelsky for being one bad ass MoFo. He’s taking over as Chair of Morrison & Foerster, and claims the firm’s had “some of [its] best years in recent years.” [San Francisco Business Times]

* Macho, macho man! You’ve got to be, a macho man to work at Dechert. An ex-associate says he was fired for using FMLA time and blames the firm’s “macho culture” in his retaliation complaint. [National Law Journal]

* Sorry, but you make too much damn money. Utah’s Judicial Conduct Commission recommended a judge for censure because his salary was “in excess of the amount allowed by law.” [Standard-Examiner]

* “We’re all reacting to Darwinian pressures in the market and from students.” Maybe that’s why law schools are adding more classes having to do with careers as in-house counsel. [Corporate Counsel]

* Jerry Sandusky has asked Judge John Cleland to reconsider his 30-60 year prison sentence because he thinks it’s excessive. Strange, because some people would argue it wasn’t excessive enough. [Bloomberg]

Along with all the wonders and ease of technology — the world wide web at your fingertips, the ability to send photos of your family vacations from the top of a mountain — there are also some serious accompanying risks. Like the possibility of forgetting to delete a stray picture of your privates and accidentally showing it to a colleague in the middle of a cellphone slideshow of otherwise innocent family and church photos.

Oops.

But that’s what former Philadelphia traffic court judge Willie Singletary did. He resigned several months ago over the blunder, and now he’s been officially called out by the state’s Judicial Discipline Committee…..

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A big round of applause for diversity!

* Dewey know when Judge Martin Glenn will issue his ruling on the failed firm’s proposed partner contribution plan? If all goes according to plan, we can expect to learn if the PCP’s been approved or rejected as early as next week. [Am Law Daily]

* Hot on the heels of Google’s digital-book settlement, the company announced that it would be appealing its copyright infringement jury verdict in the Oracle trial. One thing’s for sure: Judge Alsup will be angered terribly by this. [Bloomberg]

* David Askew, formerly the director of Edwards Wildman’s pro bono program, will now lead the National Association of Minority and Women Owned Law Firms as CEO and general counsel. [Corporate Counsel]

* The American Bar Association submitted an amicus brief in support of using race as a factor in college admissions, because diversity in college education is a must for diversity in law schools, duh. [ABA Journal]

* Remember the family law judge who got caught beating his daughter in a video that went viral? Now he wants the Texas Supreme Court to reinstate him, over his ex-wife’s objections. Good luck with that. [CNN]

We mentioned in Morning Docket that something awesome happened. But I want to emphasize it here. THE WEST WING CAST CAME BACK TOGETHER FOR A MINUTE.

And it was glorious. Anyone who has watched 20/20 Hindsight Room Newsroom knows that the West Wing involves a lot more than witty dialogue and a sense of civic responsibility. The West Wing also required acting, ensemble chemistry, and at least a passing respect for women.

The cast brought all of that to bear in a video made to raise awareness about judicial elections.

And it all happened because a professor and assistant dean at Michigan Law School has awesome family and friends….

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On one level, your name is pretty damn meaningless. Many people aren’t actually called by their names that often. Instead, people just yell: “Dude,” “Hey You,” “Boss,” “sweet cheeks”… whatever.

But on another level, your name is one of a relatively few possessions that are truly yours.

So what happens if your name simply doesn’t fit into who you are? You can change it, right? Sure, unless you happen to be a transgendered person appearing in front of one particular judge in Oklahoma. Ain’t no gender-bending name games in this Judge of the Day’s courtroom…

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Sigh. And just when we thought that the best way to avoid being raped or groped was to stop dressing like sluts, a judge announces that there’s a new way to avoid sexual abuse and assault.

It’s really quite simple. You see, all you need to do is never step foot outside of your home ever again. If you’re brave enough to cross the threshold of your front door, you should never go to a bar — very, very “bad things can happen in bars.” (Haven’t you seen that Jodie Foster movie? Ladies, that could be you bent over that pinball machine if you’re not careful!)

If only someone had told women about this strategy earlier, then perhaps judges wouldn’t have to admonish victims for their so-called poor life choices. After all, if women wouldn’t be so bold as to step out in public, then nothing bad would ever happen to them.

Thank God for judges with Puritanical values like these. Excuse me while I choke to death on my sarcasm….

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