State Judges

* Big data is coming for the law. I, for one, welcome our new computer overlords. [Associate's Mind]

* Judge tells a Sikh man to “remove that rag” or go to jail. Guess which state! [ACLU]

* The feds are at it again, posting a job opening for an uncompensated “Special Assistant U.S. Attorney.” Finally a government job that contract employers can point to and say, “See, $10/hour isn’t so bad…” [A Connecticut Law Blog]

* Law firms are getting out-hustled by a number of other service providers. [ABA Journal]

* Lawyers are terrible leaders. And if you don’t understand business, you can’t really be a good advocate. This also explains why firms are getting out-hustled per the prior item. [Fashion Law Blog]

* The Supreme Court Historical Society & The Historical Society of the New York Courts Present are hosting a CLE event called “Learned in the Law: Role of the U.S. Solicitor General…a New York Point of View” on October 25. Tickets are $30. [Historical Society of the New York Courts]

* Paul Konigsberg, Bernie Madoff’s tax lawyer, has been arrested. Hopefully he won’t get screwed. [Crain's New York Business]

* Is the series finale of Breaking Bad a trade secret? A better question is whether the recipe for Blue Sky is a trade secret. Video after the jump….

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Yesterday in Non-Sequiturs, I mentioned that a bit of a turf war seems to be developing between the Cook County judges and the Sheriff over new security procedures in the courthouse parking lot. Apparently the judges don’t like having to show their identification and open their trunks every time they drive to and from work. Such pre-9/11 thinking.

I quipped that the judges needed to not throw a public fit about it, even though the complaints described in the article sounded reasonable. For example: “’Why are you checking [trunks] in the morning? Am I bringing in someone to escape?’” one judge said in an interview, asking not to be quoted by name.”

Yes, that does sound like an unnecessary check. Other judges made dumber, self-entitled complaints about all the security being an invasion of privacy, even though those same judges raised no complaint over the Proles who submit to those invasions to get to court.

Well, it turns out a faithful reader managed to get ahold of an audio recording of one of the judges calling 911 because the deputies wouldn’t let him out of the parking lot without checking his ID….

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He may not look like much, but this little guy’s name is ‘John Holmes’ for a reason.

* A woman and her husband are charged with making dog porn, which is… well, it’s filming dogs having their way with the woman. So if you’re in North Carolina and get called for jury duty, that might be in your future. [Huffington Post Weird]

* Instead of a gun fight over getting cut off in traffic or someone dissing a sports team, this Russian guy opened fire with rubber bullets over an argument about Immanuel Kant. Much more cultured over there. [Critical-Theory]

* Gypsy family tries to pay bail with gold and the state judge cried foul, probably because he feared he was being… ugh. What followed was a thorough investigation of Romany culture. [New York Times]

* Judges in Chicago have to comply with a small sampling of the demeaning security procedures everyone else has had to deal with for the last 12 years and they deal with it graciously throw an absolute bitchfit. I mean, their complaints are sound, but still… [Chicago Sun-Times]

* Man held by authorities for peacefully protesting a photo enforced traffic light. Some things, like a guaranteed stream of city income, are too important to let free speech get in the way. [Autoblog]

* A judge has ordered a new trial for the cops convicted of the Danziger Bridge slayings in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Among the reasons, the prosecutors were writing disparaging comments about the defendants on online comments sections. As if anyone takes internet commenters seriously. [The Times-Picayune]

* Only a few more hours to register for this event featuring Kathy Ruemmler, counsel to President Obama, talking about women in law, leadership, and government. [Ms. JD]


Judge Wade H. McCree

I don’t agree with it, [but] I’m not surprised.

Brian Einhorn, the lawyer representing Judge Wade McCree in his judicial misconduct case, commenting on the Michigan Judicial Tenure Commission’s recommendation that McCree be removed from the bench. Wade had been accused of sexting a shirtless photo of himself to a bailiff and having an affair with a litigant, sometimes using his chambers for sexual rendezvous.

* Once again, Justice Ginsburg offers us some perspective on behind the scenes action at the Supreme Court. We bet you didn’t know that “Get over it” is one of Justice Scalia’s favorite expressions. [Politico]

* The chief justice of Delaware’s Supreme Court turned in his resignation papers on Friday, and rumor has it that the legendary Leo Strine will try to replace him. Best of luck, Chancellor! [Reuters]

* “I wasn’t looking for a job.” Paul Aguggia, the chairman of Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton, will step down to cash in as the CEO of a New Jersey bank where he served as outside counsel. [American Banker]

* This is what it’s like when bankruptcies collide: AMR Corp. is now disputing Dewey’s billables, including 1,646 hours of contractually prohibited work completed by first-year associates. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]

* Bank of America is bleeding money in settlement payments. A $39 million payout in a Merrill Lynch gender bias case brings the total to about $200 million in under two weeks. [DealBook / New York Times]

* GW Law starts its dean search next month, and whoever takes the position needs to be good at raising funds, because the school has struggled in that department ever since Dean Berman left. [GW Hatchet]

* An Ivy League law professor tells us the third year of law school is a “crucial resource” to ensure lawyers are well-trained, so classes like “Understanding Obama” must be social imperatives. [Washington Post]

* It seems to me that the only jurors who might be influenced by the depiction of the legal system on Law & Order are the ones who were too dim to figure out how to get out of jury duty. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

In this Court’s opinion, imposing a sentence which suspends more than the mandatory minimum would be an illegal sentence.

– Judge G. Todd Baugh, in an order setting a new sentencing hearing for Stacey Rambold, the teacher convicted of raping a 14-year-old student who the judge claimed was “older than her chronological age.” Last week, all but 31 days of Rombold’s 15-year sentence were suspended, with a one-day credit given for time already served. Rambold’s victim committed suicide in 2010.

* After three years on top, Baker & McKenzie has lost its place as the top grossing firm in the Global 100. But which firm dethroned the once king? None other than… [Am Law Daily]

* Today we celebrate the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s March on Washington, and yet some of the things he sought to change still remain the same in 2013. [Washington Post]

* The house always wins: Navin Kumar Aggarwal, the ex-K&L Gates partner who stole client funds to pay gambling debts, was jailed after receiving a 12-year sentence. [Am Law Daily]

* “This is like a triple-overtime win.” Merrill Lynch is making a huge $160 million payout in a racial bias case that’s been stuck in the courts for nearly a decade. Congrats, plaintiffs! [DealBook / New York Times]

* As eager young law students return to school, maybe it’s time for you to consider brushing up on the basics. Now is an excellent time to take care of those pesky CLE requirements. [Corporate Counsel]

* Husch Blackwell is teaming up with WUSTL Law to launch a training program for… partners. Take this for what is is, law students: a great opportunity to résumé bomb the hell out of them. [National Law Journal]

* Career alternatives for attorneys: judicial drug mule. Following an investigation by the DEA, a former Utah judge pleaded guilty to the possession of enough Oxycodone to kill a small horse. [Salt Lake Tribune]

* Don’t even think about texting anyone, ever again, in the state of New Jersey, especially if they might be driving, because the appeals court says you could be held liable for negligence. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild has been sentenced to 270 days in jail and three years’ probation after being convicted of assault and false imprisonment by a jury of “stupid, stupid idiots.” [Los Angeles Times]

The eyes of the law in Idaho.

* If Biglaw firms wants to get back into a financial sweet spot like in their days of yore, they had better get in on these billion-dollar international arbitrations while the getting is good. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Women lawyers, please take note: your future depends on it. Apparently the key to making partner in Biglaw is to get the backing of general counsel at big money corporate clients as a gender. [Corporate Counsel]

* ¡Ay dios mío! ¡Escándalo! Holland & Knight yoinked 10 attorneys, including three partners, right out from under Chadbourne & Parke’s nose to open up its new Mexico City office. [South Florida Business Journal]

* “If we actually got another million dollars going forward to spend on something, is the highest and best use to produce attorneys?” Even in a flyover state like Idaho, the answer to that question is a resounding yes when it comes to law school expansion. [Spokesman-Review]

* “A jurisprudence of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ does not properly safeguard [a defendant's rights].” California Justice Goodwin Liu is raging against policies on race-based peremptory jury challenges. [The Recorder]

* “I’ve been doing Paula Deen in a strongly metaphorical sense.” The magnate of marmalade’s case may be settled, but that doesn’t mean sanctions have been taken off the table. [Courthouse News Service]

* The hefty price of killing? Following his acquittal in the death of Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman is now asking Florida to pay for his legal expenses, to the tune of $200,000 – $300,000. [Orlando Sentinel]

HI-YA! CIVIL RIGHTS CHOP!

* Chief Justice John Roberts appointed Second Circuit Judge José A. Cabranes to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court of Review. Roberts must be happy; few will criticize a moderate. [Washington Post]

* The Department of Justice plans to hire Leslie Caldwell, Morgan Lewis partner and ex-Enron prosecutor, to fill Lanny Breuer’s shoes. Way to leak the news while she’s on vacation. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Tell us again how sequestration isn’t having an impact on the judiciary. Private federal indigent defense attorneys are going to see their already modest rates slashed due to budget cuts. [National Law Journal]

* Sixteen lawyers will receive the New York Law Journal’s Lifetime Achievement Award, and a list like this obviously wouldn’t be complete without the names of some of Biglaw’s best and brightest. Congrats, Rodge! [New York Law Journal]

* Thomas D. Raffaele, the judge who was karate chopped in the throat by a police officer last summer, is now suing over his crushed larynx and similarly squashed constitutional rights. [Courthouse News Service]

* Future gunners, unite! If you’re set on becoming a lawyer, there are things you can do to prepare your law school application, even as a college freshman. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Here’s something to aspire to for the ongoing law school lawsuits: Career Education Corp., a system of for-profit colleges, will pay $10 million to settle a dispute over its inflated job statistics. [Wall Street Journal]

* Penn State University is starting to issue settlement offers to young men who claim they were sexually abused at the hands of Jerry Sandusky, the school’s former assistant football coach. [Legal Intelligencer]

* Chris Brown might buy his lawyer Mark Geragos a Lamborghini. Brown is quite an automotive expert. The upswinging doors make it sooo much easier to throw a girlfriend out of. [TMZ]

* Politics is all about figurative whoring, but a county board has dumped its lawyer for soliciting a crack whore. Actually, maybe politics is literal whoring. [Badger Pundit]

* Gourmand’s Grater, the kitchen product created by a former lawyer we mentioned a couple weeks ago, has opened its crowdfunding campaign. [Indie GoGo]

* Finnegan is ditching its Belgium office and moving to London. How can a firm turn its back on a city classy enough to have a urinating child as a symbol? [The Lawyer]

*Access online today’s nude dancing decision of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit. And you’re interested because this is the audience that went crazy for a post about a Playmate from 1994. [How Appealing]

* Did you fall for the new U.S. News rankings? Silly readers. Paul Campos breaks down exactly how Rutgers-Newark gamed the system. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* In a New York state case, “[a] calendar call in the courthouse would require the clerk to shout out ‘JesusIsLord ChristIsKing’ or ‘Rejoice ChristIsKing.'” See, now THAT is a name that’s sacrilegious — not having a baby named Messiah. [NY Times]

* Yet another reason students should steer clear of law school: most of them have no critical thinking or argumentation skills. [Huffington Post]

* We’ve mentioned NYU Law grad and former S.D.N.Y. clerk Eli Northrup and his band Pants Velour before. Now they have a new jingle for Dial 7 car service. Check it out after the jump….

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