Supreme Court

* Since SCOTUS punted on same-sex marriage, people in states where gay marriage bans still exist are wondering when it will be their turn. It’s just a waiting game from here on out. [USA Today]

* Babies wait for no one: a pregnant lesbian couple fighting the Texas ban on gay marriage filed an usual request asking that the Fifth Circuit hurry up and schedule arguments. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The “puff, puff, pass” defense? Robel Phillipos, friend of accused Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, claims he was so high during the aftermath he can’t remember a thing. [Bloomberg]

* When should you apply to law school? When you can get into a top school, have clear career objectives, and won’t have to take out loans. You’re preaching to the choir. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* A Burger King customer is suing because he claims the restaurant’s manager attacked him with a knife and a Taser. This all allegedly happened over some cold onion rings, of course. [New York Daily News]

* New Supreme Court term kicks off with some bizarre argumentation. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Professor Tribe doesn’t think Obama’s getting another justice confirmed. Vegas is setting the over/under off his remarks. [Coverage Opinions]

* More on The Law Hawk (insert screeching eagle sound effect). [Legal Cheek]

* Picking the right legal recruiter is important. It’s like having an agent, which is awesome because it makes you feel like Peyton Manning for a bit. [Major, Lindsay & Africa]

* What. The. Hell? You can survive being sucked into a jet engine? Without wearing Iron Man Mark V armor. [Lowering the Bar]

* You know what’s lame? Civil forfeiture. John Oliver rants after the jump… [Last Week Tonight]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 10.06.14″

There was a time in ‘Murica when surrounding yourself with gay and lesbian friends was the only way to avoid the endless navel-gazing of wedding season. Don’t want to know who is registered where? Can’t force a smile through one more “best man” speech that devolves into “there are so many great things I could say about this guy if his woman… err, wife, weren’t here.” Having gay friends was the way to avoid all that. Sometimes a man just wants to sit down and watch the Tony Awards in peace, without having to look at another man’s wedding album.

Well, those days are done. The Supreme Court today didn’t grant cert to review bans on gay marriage in five states….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “SCOTUS Doesn’t Want To Ask, Won’t Tell Gays They Can’t Get Married”


Too many lawyers are wearing this name badge.

* The Supreme Court’s new term kicks off today, and lawyers are pumped — especially since “the Roberts court [may] be to the rights of gays and lesbians what the Warren court was to the rights of African Americans.” [New York Times]

* But come on, the Supreme Court hasn’t even decided to take up a same-sex marriage case for October Term 2014, you say. Not to worry, because “[h]owever slow the term is starting, it could obviously explode.” [USA Today]

* This year’s law firm merger pace is slightly more robust than last year’s record-breaking rate. Lawyers should probably get ready for some real merger mania before the new year comes. [Am Law Daily]

* The legal services sector just lost the largest number of jobs in a one-month period in almost five years. Our condolences to recent law school graduates who are still searching for employment. [WSJ Law Blog]

* On the other side of the spectrum, this recent law school graduate has it made. This former bank robber turned D.C. Circuit clerk just found out he’ll be allowed to take the bar exam. Yay! [National Law Journal]

* Apparently, heckling Carmelo Anthony can cost you your job. [Dealbreaker]

* There’s nothing the Supreme Court can do to stop cops who want to take a long time to release you from a stop, even if the Court wants to. [Simple Justice]

* I think we should just ask John Roberts to tell every state precisely how they are allowed to discriminate against black voters and be done with it. Just tell us the rules so we can start the GOTV campaigns. [Election Law Blog]

* Former Manhattan Assemblywoman Gabriela Rosa gets a year in jail for purchasing a sham marriage to gain citizenship. The “for citizenship” part is what got her, because lots of politicians are in sham marriages. [Journal News]

* Judge Frank Easterbrook thinks that the new proposed length limit for appellate briefs is too short. Verbose litigators everywhere, rejoice. [How Appealing]

* I thought “spoofing” was bad for the market, but Matt Levine says cracking down on spoofing “helps” high-frequency traders, who I also think are bad for the market. You know why I’m not an SEC lawyer? Prosecuting people based on them being “bad” becomes untenable when everybody involved is rich. [Bloomberg View]

FYI Jami and Therese: On Wednesdays, we wear pink!

* SCOTUS justices added 11 cases to this term’s docket yesterday following their megaconference earlier this week. Alas, no same-sex marriage cases have been added yet. [New York Times]

* The Fifth Circuit allowed Texas to enforce its new abortion clinic restrictions. The only thing that will stop its “devastating impact on abortion access” is SCOTUS intervention. [MSNBC]

* Two more women just joined the ranks of the highest tier of Biglaw firm leadership. Congrats to Jami Wintz McKeon of Morgan Lewis and Therese Pritchard of Bryan Cave. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Gibson Dunn poached a prominent partner from U.K. firm Ashurst following his fall from grace as its leader last year. He’s thrilled to work for “one of the strongest U.S. firms around.” [Am Law Daily]

* The Thomas Jefferson School of Law may be “California’s worst-performing law school,” but it certainly performs well in terms of providing entertainment for those who are big fans of schadenfreude. [City Journal]

* Many schools pay their grads to count them as employed — but not UNC Law. Its career services office is aware that “jobs don’t grow on trees,” but hey, at least they’re trying to be transparent. [Daily Tar Heel]

Teresa and Joe Giudice

* Real Housewives of Cell Block D. Joe Giudice sentenced to 41 months. [Fox News]

* New practice area in Alabama: Fetus lawyer. There’s potential there, but is it viable? [Slate]

* The Supreme Court is going to hear a prison litigation case. Here’s why that’s important. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Apparently no one is able to hear this case. [The Times-Picayune]

* Police arrest guy who beat up the man who shot his 16-year-old cousin. Because nobody likes Batman. [DNA Info]

* The DJ behind Good Morning Vietnam was a lawyer? Interesting. Well, he’s not a lawyer any more. Disbarred! [Law Profession Blog]

* At what point is it off-limits to talk about sex appeal? Vivia Chen explores this issue after she got some hefty blowback for following President Obama’s lead and commenting on the beauty of California Attorney General Kamala Harris. [The Careerist]

* Eliot Spitzer’s madame is sentenced to 2 years for selling prescription pills. She was offering some quality stuff, like, 7 diamonds level stuff. [Daily Mail]

* Lawyer for celebrities exposed in the naked photo hacking scandal known as The Fappening is threatening to sue Google for $100 million. The Fappening? Really? That’s what we’re calling this? [dlisted]

Lisa Blatt and Tom Goldstein

In Washington, D.C., on Monday, October 27, at 6 p.m., we’ll be hosting an awesome Above the Law event: a look at the upcoming Term of the Supreme Court of the United States. The Court’s docket grew by 11 cases today (but no action yet on same-sex marriage).

I’ll moderate a discussion featuring two of the nation’s foremost Supreme Court advocates: Lisa Blatt, head of the appellate and Supreme Court practice at Arnold & Porter, and Tom Goldstein, partner at Goldstein & Russell and publisher of SCOTUSblog. Blatt and Goldstein have collectively argued more than 60 times before the Court.

There are many SCOTUS previews taking place around town over the next few weeks, but we promise you that the ATL event will be especially fun and lively. We will offer food, drink, and excellent company.

And the event is free of charge. If you’d like to attend, please request an invite below. Thanks!

At press time, the child whose future decisions will touch the lives of every American citizen for generations went inside to find a lighter.

– The Onion, describing how an 8-year-old future Supreme Court justice spent his day brutally dismembering a grasshopper. The Onion envisions the Court dominated by a psychopath “who will go on to be the court’s crucial swing vote under five consecutive administrations,” and who “laughed out loud and implored the helpless creature to jump.” That sounds about right.

Justice Antonin Scalia

* Justice Scalia spoke at CU-Boulder last night. For his sake, we certainly hope he didn’t speak about any issues that might someday appear before SCOTUS, lest he be asked to recuse. [Boulder Daily Camera via How Appealing]

* Another one bites the dust over at Main Justice: David O’Neil, the head of the criminal division, is stepping down in the wake of the BNP Paribas case, and will likely have many white-shoe law firm suitors. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Fox Rothschild picked up a 18-lawyer boutique firm in Texas, which will serve as the home of its first outpost in the Lone Star State. Energy law, surprisingly, wasn’t the driving factor. [Legal Intelligencer]

* “I have a heart and I have two kids.” That’s a pretty damn good reason for Biglaw attorneys to take a break from their corporate billable hours to represent undocumented children pro bono. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Scott Greenfield reviews Lat’s forthcoming novel, Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). Of course, in SHG style, it contains a spoiler. Try to skip that clearly marked paragraph. [Simple Justice]

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