Airplanes / Aviation
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11th Circuit, Airplanes / Aviation, Food, Guns / Firearms, Law Professors, Law Schools, Masturbation, Non-Sequiturs, Trials
Non-Sequiturs: 12.10.12
* I’m not sure what it takes to be a top “Global Thinker,” but I’m sure these law professors are worthy. [Volokh Conspiracy] * Good to see that I’m not the only one who gets crazy pitch letters from lawyers. [Popehat] * If somehow this results in a Simpsons episode where the 11th Circuit rules on whether or not the family can have another Snowball, I’ll be happy. [Find Law] * No joke, the “things you can’t do on a plane” series is probably my favorite thing in the blawgosphere right now. [Legal Blog Watch] * Keith Magness, the lawyer accused of masturbating on the office furniture of girls in his firm, entered Alford pleas. But the pleas kind of stuck together. [Times-Picayune] * But really, how is anybody going to get trial experience if everybody is entering pleas all the time? [Underdog] * Could a benevolent monopolist fix legal education? Perhaps. But I’d vote for a malevolent blogger instead. [lawprofblog] * This law student is worried about the tax implications of getting free donuts. He’d better be worried about letting me know that he can get donuts whenever he wants. (Yes, I make the jokes so you can’t hurt me, then go home to bacon-wrapped, fried steak wedges, which don’t judge). [Tax Prof Blog] * I was on Geraldo at Large for about 30 seconds this weekend telling a gun range owner that guns should be regulated while standing in the middle of his gun store. I wore bright orange because, well, I didn’t want to get shot. [Geraldo at Large] -
Airplanes / Aviation, Holidays and Seasons, Traffic Accidents, Travel / Vacation, War on Terror
Has The TSA Won?
We enter another holiday season under the yoke of our transportation overlords... - Sponsored
Legal AI: 3 Steps Law Firms Should Take Now
If 2023 introduced legal professionals to generative AI, then 2024 will be when law firms start adapting to utilize it. Things are moving fast, so… -
Airplanes / Aviation, Drinking, Non-Sequiturs, Police
Non-Sequiturs: 10.17.12
* New York police just arrested a man for allegedly planning to blow up the Federal Reserve Bank. Thank you, officers. [CNN] * This judge made a telecom executive cry in court. After the teary-eyed businesswoman stormed out, she re-entered the courtroom a short time later and "verbally assaulted" opposing counsel. That’s what I call a serious case of the Mondays. [New York Post] * Much has been made about the terrible connections prostitution has to human trafficking, but what about the self-professed “hos” who, by all accounts, enjoy having sex for money? [East Bay Express] * If you want to ride a mechanical bull, you should probably be aware that getting thrown off isn’t even a risk, it’s a veritable certainty. [Abnormal Use] * I unabashedly dislike the TSA, but it seems these dummies had it coming. [Denver Post] * Back to hating on the airline industry: Sorry, folks, we’re going to be delayed arriving in Vancouver because of some weather issues… and because we have to detour for a moment and search for a missing yacht.” [Consumerist] * Law blogger Eric Turkewitz’s face is all over a bunch of New York bus stop ads. And no, he’s not advertising himself. This story is actually pretty neat. [New York Personal Injury Attorney]
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Airplanes / Aviation, Biglaw, Billable Hours, Harvey Miller, Legal Fee Voyeurism, Money, Partner Issues
Legal Fee Voyeurism: American Airlines's Big-Time Bankruptcy Bills
How much are American Airlines's advisors seeking to be paid for their work in the mega-bankruptcy case? Enough to buy a Gulfstream jet, or two.... -
Airplanes / Aviation, Health Care / Medicine, Marijuana, Non-Sequiturs, Old People, SCOTUS, Supreme Court
Non-Sequiturs: 10.10.12
* SCOTUS decided not to hear the case about telecoms allegedly warrantlessly letting the NSA listen to your calls. So, does this mean we’re all on Candid Cellphone? [Threat Level / Wired] * We mentioned the Harvard Law grad turned alleged scam artist, John Donald Cody (a.k.a. Mr. X), last week. Check out this cool story about how the feds tracked him down after years of searching. [Arizona Republic] * A Finnish lawyer recently won the World Wife Carrying Championship, which is, I guess, exactly what it sounds like. Scandinavians are strange. [The Irreverent Lawyer] * Everyone loves stories about old people accidentally growing drugs because they didn’t know what marijuana looks or smells like. Harkens back to simpler time! [Legal Juice] * Now the TSA is apparently mistreating and humiliating terminal leukemia patients. Pardon the bluntness, but f**k you. Seriously. [San Francisco Chronicle] * At least U.S.Customs Enforcement agents can still get their jobs done without disrespecting the sick and the old. Kudos for nabbing this dude flying in from Asia wearing body armor and carrying luggage full of weapons. The TSA folks should take notes. [ABC News] -
Airplanes / Aviation, Lawyer Advertising, Lawyerly Lairs, Plaintiffs Firms, Real Estate, Ridiculousness, Small Law Firms
Touring the High-Roller Suite of Personal Injury Law, Big Willie Style
A look at one of America's most colorful trial lawyers and his lavish lifestyle -- as well as the recent hard times he has fallen upon. -
Airplanes / Aviation, Allen & Overy, Biglaw, Bonuses, Books, Deaths, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Jeffrey Toobin, Money, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Securities Law, Supreme Court
Morning Docket: 10.01.12
* Bank of America agreed to pay $2.43 billion, one of the biggest securities class-action settlements in history, to put the Merrill Lynch mess behind it. According to Professors Peter Henning and Steven Davidoff, B of A “is probably quite happy with the settlement given that it could have potentially faced billions of dollars more in liability in the case.” [DealBook / New York Times]
* “Oyez! Oyez! All persons having business before the Honorable, the Supreme Court of the United States, are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for the Court is now sitting.” Here is Robert Barnes’s take on the SCOTUS Term that starts today. [Washington Post]
* And here is Professor Garrett Epps’s review of Jeffrey Toobin’s new book on the Supreme Court, The Oath (affiliate link). [New York Times]
* How Dewey justify paying a big bonus to a member of the management team “when it has been widely pointed out that excessive compensation to the firm’s upper management significantly contributed to the firm’s collapse in the first place?” [Bankruptcy Beat via WSJ Law Blog]
* A high-profile Vatican trial raises these questions: “‘Did the butler do it?’ Or rather, ‘was it only the butler who did it?’” [Christian Science Monitor]
* Ben Ogden, an Allen & Overy associate who was killed in a Nepalese plane crash, R.I.P. [Am Law Daily]
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Airplanes / Aviation, Privacy, Travel / Vacation
The TSA Needs to Inspect Your Airport Coffee -- Yes, The Cup You Bought AFTER Going Through Security
The TSA strikes again. Leave our coffee alone! - Sponsored
How Generative AI Will Improve Legal Service Delivery
Learn how emerging tools will likely change and enhance the work of lawyers for years to come in this new report. -
Airplanes / Aviation, Education / Schools, Guns / Firearms, Intellectual Property, Non-Sequiturs, Patents, Technology
Non-Sequiturs: 08.31.12
* Interim SLU Law Dean Tom Keefe said he’s nobody’s “butt boy.” Will that change if Father Lawrence Biondi succeeds in eliminating tenure? Your move, Keefe. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch] * Defending one’s right to carry an AK-47 around a park is kind of like defending your right to drink milkshakes and eat waffle fries until your heart explodes. There’s no f**king point, other than really wanting to show you can. Except that milkshakes are delicious. Guns, not so much. [FindLaw] * A penny saved is a penny earned grounds for a huge lawsuit. [Daily Business Review] * Japan said Samsung didn’t infringe on Apple’s patents. Woooo. Three different Apple v. Samsung cases down, 10 million more countries to go. [Ars Technica] * The TSA should seriously come out and say they just want to see us naked. Then at least we’d all be on the same page. [Threat Level / Wired] -
Abortion, Airplanes / Aviation, Defamation, Job Searches, Jury Duty, Law Professors, Law Schools, Minority Issues, Morning Docket, Politics, Racism, Rape, Texas, Travel / Vacation, Unemployment, Women's Issues
Morning Docket: 08.29.12
* “He’s stupid. I wouldn’t even count him as a Republican.” Many Republican women at the RNC wish that the men like Rep. Todd Akin would just shut up about abortion, rape, and contraception. [Reuters]
* Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the discrimination against minorities. A panel of judges on a D.C. federal court shot down the state’s redistricting plans for lack of compliance with the VRA. [Washington Post]
* A disgruntled Stanford Law graduate’s defamation and retaliation suit against the school was dismissed. Sorry, but it’s highly doubtful that a law professor blacklisted you from getting a job. [National Law Journal]
* “[T]here’s a surplus of attorneys and not enough jobs for it.” Lincoln Memorial’s president admits amid accreditation issues that perhaps it wasn’t the best time to open the Duncan Law. [Knoxville News Sentinel]
* “I don’t know if this was worth it, but I did have a good time in Cancun.” Skipping deliberations to go on vacation is a great way to earn yourself a trip to jail, but this girl got lucky. [Proof & Hearsay / Journal Sentinel]
* Continental faces a lawsuit after baggage handlers allegedly removed a sex toy from a passenger’s luggage and taped it outside the bag for the world to see. At least it wasn’t the TSA. [Courthouse News Service]
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Airplanes / Aviation, Biglaw, California, Deaths, Quote of the Day
Quote of the Day: Greenberg Attorney Killed In Plane Crash
A well-loved Greenberg Traurig attorney and volunteer medical pilot was killed in a private plane crash. -
Airplanes / Aviation, D.C. Circuit, Document Review, john quinn, Murder, Non-Sequiturs, Trials
Non-Sequiturs: 08.02.12
* Last year, the TSA was supposed to hold public hearings about those naked body scanners everyone loves so much, but they still haven’t done it (surprise, surprise). Now the D.C. Circuit is starting to get angry. [Wired / Threat Level] * Is there really life, hope, and maybe even an associate position beyond doc review work? This writer thinks so. [Greedy Associates] * Remember the man convicted of murder who claimed that “celebrity angels and demons” told him to do it? His mistress and coworker of has now been arrested and charged as well. [AJC] * This is a comic strip about a bear who also happens to be a lawyer. It is silly but also surprisingly clever, and funny jokes abound. [Bear Lawyer] * Apple fired back at John Quinn regarding his declaration in the Apple / Samsung trial, and then the company filed “an emergency motion for sanctions” with Judge Lucy Koh. I think everyone in this case needs to take a timeout and cool their jets for a while. [Bloomberg] * I mean, the trial is so hostile, the parties can’t even agree on the name of the case. [All Things D] * Who murdered Robert Wone? The mystery looms as large today as it did six years ago. [Who Murdered Robert Wone] * Holy s**t, this is like a real-life, Chinese version of “I’m Oscar! Dot com!” [Slate] -
Airplanes / Aviation, Music, Quote of the Day, Rap, Twittering
Quote of the Day: Starships Were Meant to Fly (Without Groping)
Starships were meant to fly (without groping). Should've added that to your lyrics, Nicki Minaj...
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Airplanes / Aviation, Boalt Hall, California, Contests, Crime, Lawyer of the Day, Midsize Firms / Regional Firms, Nauseating Things, Reader Polls, Ridiculousness, Trials
Lawyer of the Month: June Reader Poll
Who should receive the title for June's Lawyer of the Month? Vote in our poll! -
Airplanes / Aviation, California, Constitutional Law, Copyright, Department of Justice, Federal Government, Federal Judges, Food, Gay Marriage, Intellectual Property, John Roberts, Law Schools, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, UNC Law
Morning Docket: 07.04.12
Ed. note: Your Above the Law editors are busy celebrating their freedom today (and we hope that you are, too). We will return to our regular publication schedule on Thursday, July 5.
* At this point, the Supreme Court’s dramatic deliberations on the Affordable Care Act are like a leaking sieve. Now we’ve got dueling narratives on Chief Justice Roberts’s behind-the-scenes flip-flopping. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Life, liberty, and the pursuit of fabulosity! The Department of Justice has asked the Supreme Court to grant cert on two DOMA cases, contending that Section 3 of the statute is unconstitutional. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]
* A famous fabulist: according to California’s State Bar, disgraced journalist Stephen Glass is a “pervasive and documented liar,” but that’s not stopping him from trying to get his license to practice law. [Los Angeles Times]
* Clayton Osbon, the JetBlue pilot who had an epic mid-flight nutty and started ranting about religion and terrorists, was found not guilty by reason of insanity by a federal judge during a bench trial. [New York Post]
* After a month of bizarre legal filings, Charles Carreon has dropped his lawsuit against Matthew Inman of The Oatmeal. We’re hoping that there will be an awesome victory cartoon drawn up soon. [Digital Life / Today]
* Northwestern Law is the only American law school to have joined a 17-member global justice league geared toward legal teaching and research collaborations. But do they get cool costumes? [National Law Journal]
* UNC Law received two charitable gifts totaling $2.7M that will be used to fund tuition scholarships for current and future students. Maybe their students won’t have to create tuition donation sites anymore. [Herald-Sun]
* This law is for the birds (literally and figuratively). California’s ban on the sale of foie gras had only been in effect for one day before the first lawsuit was filed to overturn it as unconstitutional. [San Francisco Chronicle]
* The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration of the Department of Commerce recently announced that mermaids do not exist. Not to worry — it’s still legal to believe that Ariel is a babe. [New York Daily News]
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Airplanes / Aviation, Deaths, Nauseating Things, Quote of the Day
Quote of the Day: Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Screening Room Floor
The TSA is at it again, this time allegedly disrespecting a man carrying his grandfather's ashes for the sake of security screening… -
Airplanes / Aviation, Crime, Lawyer of the Day, Loyola Law School, Nauseating Things, Rudeness
Lawyer of the Day: No, a Man Cannot Just Have 'His Fly Undone'
Our Lawyer of the Day apparently needs to learn to keep his tiger in its cage, especially on an airplane… -
Airplanes / Aviation, BuckleySandler, Copyright, Intellectual Property, John Edwards, JPMorgan Chase, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Nude Dancing
Non-Sequiturs: 06.13.12
* Gina Chon, the Wall Street Journal reporter whose sensuous e-mails with Brett McGurk, a U.S. ambassadorial nominee, were released last week, resigned her job at the paper. But temporary unemployment is no match for true love (or super hot sex, for that matter)! [Washington Post] * UMass Law is now the first accredited public law school in Massachusetts. Thank God, because our law school reserves were running dangerously low. [Boston Globe] * The attorney for FunnyJunk is totally befuddled by the Oatmeal’s hilarious response to his legal threats, as well as the internet at large’s response to the response. Come on man, loosen up and feel the lulz. [Gawker] * The Justice Department dropped the remaining charges against John Edwards. That’s an anti-climax for the record books. [WSJ Law Blog] * Congratulations to Andrew Schilling, the former top civil prosecutor at the Manhattan U.S. Attorney’s office, who is joining BuckleySandler as a partner! [Thomson Reuters News & Insight] * JPMorgan’s CEO admits, “I was dead wrong.” Congratulations, I hope that makes you feel better. Now why don’t you give us taxpayers all our money back? [Gothamist] * I get stopped at the airport because some TSA agent thinks my belt buckle looks like a bomb or something, but this guy becomes a commercial pilot??? I just don’t get it. At all. [Wall Street Journal] * I do not envy the guy who has to explain the $19,000 strip club credit card bill to his wife. [Daily Business Review] -
Airplanes / Aviation, Biglaw, Death Penalty, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Drugs, Food, Morning Docket, Nude Dancing, Wal-Mart
Morning Docket: 04.26.12
* Dewey need to take a look at the Biglaw industry in general before more firms implode? Hell yes, says an author who’s written on the economics and management of law firms. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Wal-Mart was served with its first shareholder suit over its alleged bribery scandal, because the only thing on rollback this week is the price of the company’s stock shares. [Reuters]
* Does diplomatic immunity give you a free pass for getting handsy with the maid? Guess we’ll see next week, when a judge rules on DSK’s motion to dismiss his civil suit. [New York Daily News]
* As long as you’ve got money, the TSA will totally look the other way if you’ve got suitcases filled with drugs. Vibrators, on the other hand, are simply out of the question. [Bloomberg]
* As of yesterday, Connecticut became the seventeenth state to kill the death penalty. But not so fast, death row inmates. You still get to die. Isn’t that nice? [CNN]
* Franchise agreements be damned, because even judges can understand that sometimes, you just need to eat a delicious sandwich while you’re getting a lap dance. [KTVN]
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Airplanes / Aviation, Bankruptcy, Baseball, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Fashion, Federal Government, Health Care / Medicine, Morning Docket, Trademarks
Morning Docket: 03.29.12
* If Obamacare gets struck down, do you think insurance companies will allow children to remain on their parents’ plans until age 26? My Magic 8-Ball says: “Outlook not so good.” [Wall Street Journal] * There’s no crying in baseball bankruptcy sales! Which Biglaw firms hit a home run for playing a part in the […]